Ain't Nobody Got Time For This

I put the letter in my purse, still fuming. “Relax, Vicki. You knew this would happen,” Fiona sent me.

“What was that,” Mark asked.

“The man who sexually harassed me over the summer is suing me,” I said.

“The THESE TITS guy?” Of course, Jessica said that a little too loud, which got a bunch of tables looking at me. Her father glared at her. “You kicked his butt,” she whispered.

“Yeah. No good deed goes unpunished,” I said. “I guess this is why we spend money on lawyers.”

Mark was shaking his head. “I saw that on YouTube after it happened. I don’t think you can be quiet about this. It’s outrageous; you should be the one suing HIM for sexual harassment.”

“I just might do that. I’ll see what my team has to say.” I hope Adrienne has tranquilizers handy when Leo finds out about this, much less Dad. I relaxed as the waitress came back with the desserts. I’d ordered the Hot Chocolate Godiva Cake, while Jessica had the Bananas Foster Butter Cake with butter pecan ice cream, flamed tableside.

“It’s been twenty years since I could eat like that and stay slim,” Thomas said. “I’m going to have to do another mile on the treadmill from LOOKING at those desserts.”

“Youthful metabolism and hours of exercise,” I said. “I’ve been like this for years, first with the swim team and now with diving, running, and martial arts. I know it won’t last forever, but I like eating! I work out every day with SEALs, so I’m not slacking off. Hammer is pretty seriously involved with Amy’s Mom, and we’ve been working out with him almost since we got here.”

“I heard that,” Mark said. “I thought you and James made a good couple, but I guess that didn’t last.”

“I kicked him in the shin and told him he was an idiot after the Las Vegas videos came out,” Jessica said proudly. “Not that it mattered. Lauren’s dumped him already.” No wonder she hadn’t talked to me at the dojo lately.

We had a great evening, and Jessica didn’t want to go. “School night, and I need to study too,” I said. “It was fun diving with you.”

“Thank you,” she said. I thanked the guys, then Bill, Fiona, and I got back into the Tank and headed back. We were all full, as I had put my security and my cameraman at the next table and bought their dinners too. “Bill, tell me you got some of that on tape,” I said.

He just smiled. “I had a camera on you the whole time, and the footage after you read the summons is going to be gold,” he said. “I could practically see the steam coming out of your ears.”

“I better deal with that before that bastard releases anything to the press.” I called my lawyer’s phone, leaving a message for him and telling him I’d scan and send the documents when I got home. He called back and calmed me down; from a legal perspective, his complaint had no merit. “Then why file it?”

“Harassment and hoping you pay something to make it go away.”

I snorted. “That won’t happen.” I’d been thinking of a few things. “I’d like to go on a counter-offensive in the press. Is there any downside to that?”

“Don’t deviate from what happened, and don’t say anything defamatory,” he said.

I hung up and got on a conference with the people I trusted: my publicist, my accountant, Alpha Steven, Linda, Mercedes, Leo, Adrienne, Amy, Kai, Dad, and Mom. I quickly explained what was going on and read the first part of the lawsuit. “My first question is what this means to our brand,” I asked.

Mercedes just laughed. “No worries there, Vicki. The show is going to come out during the November sweeps, so the timing is perfect. The videos of his assault and your ass-kicking have been out for months, and we can tease the extra footage we have. The more press coverage we get of this lawsuit, the more opportunities to come out against harassment and sexism.”

“I’d suggest getting in front of this,” my publicist said. “Do an interview, maybe with one of the morning shows, and go after him hard. Talk about how difficult it is to get taken seriously as a person; maybe open up about some of the other harassment you’ve endured.” We had our plan by the end of the call, and my publicist would set up the interview.

Stan asked me to stay on the line after the others dropped off. “I’ve been working with Captain Thomas on the options, and we think you’ve missed a simple option for a vessel,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Oregon State University owns two oceanographic research vessels, obtained using government grants in 2021,” he said. “Both vessels are the same; almost 200 feet long, equipped for ocean floor mapping, and capable of berthing thirteen crew and sixteen scientists for three weeks at a time. Why not use those?”

“I’m going to Oregon, not Oregon State,” I said. “The largest boat the marine biology program has is a forty-two-foot trawler.”

“You have to ask. If not there, maybe with Scripps in San Diego, or another West Coast university?”

“I’ll look into it. Thank you, Stan.” I hung up, flipping through my contacts until I found the number of the Director of the Oregon Institute of Marine Biology. I sent him a text asking him to call me about research vessels.

He called me right back. I explained that I needed a vessel suited to marine research and diving between January and May for my show, with an outline of what I needed. He said he’d contact his colleagues and get back to me.

I had a lot going through my head as I got back to the Good Times; I talked briefly to the three couples relaxing in and around the hot tub before heading to bed. My publicist had an interview arranged with Good Morning America at eight the next morning, and I had to be at the studio in downtown San Diego for the remote.

I was sitting in the green room the next morning, waiting for my turn, and only then did I realize the setup I’d be facing. The segment before mine was devoted to the press conference Brian’s lawyer had taped last night and released this morning. The show played his announcement, including the footage showing him getting taken to the ground and choked out. “My client did not deserve to suffer permanent injuries over a disagreement,” he said. “This lawsuit seeks to compensate him for the pain and suffering he’s dealt with since this vicious attack by a martial arts expert.”

“But should your client profit from the consequences of his actions,” the host asked.

“The reaction was so out of proportion to his actions as to be unreasonable, and we believe a jury will agree with us,” he said.

“I guess we will find out when this goes to court.” He ended the video feed and looked at the camera. “We’ll be back after these messages with headlines, weather, and an exclusive interview with the other party to this case, model and shark conservationist Vicki Lawrence.”

The assistant producer came in and brought me to the room, hooking me up for sound and explaining the camera and monitor status. I just nodded, fuming that I had to respond instead of getting out front. The producer counted down to the start of the segments as Alyssa Thompson, the attractive blonde morning co-host, gave the introduction to this segment. “With us today is Vicki Lawrence, the young woman in the viral video who laid the smack-down on the graduate student who sexually assaulted her on a research boat. Welcome to Good Morning America, Vicki.”

“Thank you, Alyssa. It’s great to talk to you again.” I’d appeared with her twice before, once after the ocean rescue, and once for my shark conservation foundation.

“What is your reaction to the lawsuit and the statement you just heard?”

“I think it shows that stupidity can be a permanent condition,” I deadpanned, causing her to spit her coffee out. “It’s not like the whole country didn’t already know of Brian’s openly sexist and criminally abusive behavior.”

“You didn’t file charges against him after it happened,” Alyssa challenged.

“I thought the situation had been handled well at the time. Captain Merrill and the administration acted quickly, and Brian got kicked off the ship and out of school by the next morning. I received nothing but support from the crew, and the expedition was a great experience for me. That does not mean that I will not file criminal assault charges in the future.”

“Brian’s lawsuit accuses you of intentionally causing permanent injuries.”

“I’m sure his symptoms showed up shortly after he found out I had money,” I replied. “I wanted to leave, and he sexually assaulted me first. I took him down and used my training to choke him out.”

“You admit to strangling him until he lost consciousness?”

“Jiu-Jitsu does not strangle; I was not stopping his breathing. You apply pressure to the side of the neck, temporarily cutting off blood flow to the brain. Five to ten seconds later, it’s nap time. You see it all the time in Mixed Martial Arts fights, and others have done it to me dozens of times at the dojo. Let’s be honest here, Alyssa; the only injury was to his reputation, and this lawsuit is a desperate grab for money. He and his lawyer think I will pay him to go away, but they don’t understand how stubborn I am. I will go bankrupt fighting this before I pay that man a DIME.”

“That’s a strong statement, Vicki.”

“You need to be capable and determined to make it in this world with predators like that around. I’m sure you’ve dealt with it, and I bet the many women watching this are nodding their heads right now. They are thinking of times they were harassed, ridiculed, or discriminated against because they dared to be attractive AND smart.”

I had her; I could tell that in her eyes. “So, what do you say to those people who think you got where you are because of your appearance?”

“I’m not giving that speech from the boat again,” I said with a laugh. “I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I’m working even harder to achieve my goals. My physical appearance got me my break, and I'll admit that. When you get that chance, though, you still have to be competent enough to take advantage of it. I enjoy modeling, I love shark research, and I love representing Bodyglove. Their support has been a great help in getting my foundation up and running. We now have over twenty thousand trackers on thirty-two different shark species around the world, providing valuable data on shark migration and behavior.”

“It’s quite the achievement at the age of eighteen. What is next for you?”

“I start a world tour for Bodyglove that runs to the end of the year. I’ve also formed a production company, Sharkbait Productions, Incorporated, to develop reality series and documentaries centered on diving and shark research. Oh, and I have to do my freshman chemistry homework.”

That got her laughing. “I’ll let you get back to your studies.” The camera turned off. “That was University of Oregon freshman Vicki Lawrence, who has enough on her plate without nuisance lawsuits. In the next segment, legal expert Veronica Marist and Congressman Louis Washburn debate whether it is time to bring a loser-pays rule into civil court.”

I let out a breath as the assistant producer helped remove the earpiece and microphone. “You did well,” she says. “You should have broken his arms, though.”

I laughed. “Dad said he should have been chum.” I left the studio and went straight to the dojo, knowing I could get some running in before my class started.