Lesson Twenty-Six - Take A Deep Breath And Remember Who The Fuck You Are.
"What the hell did you say to mom?"
Hayden had rang me not that long ago knowing I had something to do with the change in our mother's personality. Chase also rang me not that long ago with the same conclusion. Why did they always think when something out of the ordinary happened it was my fault. They did know we also had a brother called Damon. The king of fuck ups.
"I didn't do anything." My voice was as sweet as sugar knowing he wasn't going to believe me if I said no anyway. Hayden wasn't the smartest out of us but he did know me well enough to know when I was lying.
"Bullshit." I could hear his coach yelling his name in the background on the phone but Hayden didn't seem to pay any attention to him. "She wants to come to my next game. Well after she asked me what team I played for. I'm pretty sure if we were a normal family I would've been offended but I didn't actually give a fuck or surprised at all."
"Are you done with your rant?" I asked. Hayden always to seem to get off topic from his point. Well maybe off topic wasn't the right word for it. He just knew how to go on about something.
"No." He shouted but his voice was washed out my his coach in the background shouting his name even louder. It sounded like the man was standing right beside him now. "I have to go but we aren't down with this conversation." Growled out Hayden as he hung up.
I let out a laugh as I threw my phone unto my Queen size bed. I missed my brother a lot of the time, I missed them all. Even Alex. I grew up in a house surrounded by them and when I was younger I always thought they would be with me. Times change though when you grow up and all go your separate ways.
I turned to look as my bed room door opened with a slam and turned to face my brother Damon with a pissed off look on his face. I knew what was coming clearly our mother had been talking to him as well.
"What the hell did you say to her?"
"Oh my God like you are the third one to corner me about this. All I need is Alex to phone me." I pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. "Though I highly doubt that one. I don't even think he has my number."
"Lyra this isn't funny." Damon pointed my way as he walked closer to me his electric blue eyes looking at me threatening. I noticed that Riker was here and he leaned against the door frame of my room looking at us amused. I could tell his arm was a lot more better from the shooting that happened just over a week ago. His arms were crossed with the muscles standing out on edge. I looked at his face to see that he was now smirking at me. He had clearly seen that I was looking him over.
My attention snapped back to my twin brother who was still going off on one. What was with my brothers this day and losing the plot with me. "What is wrong with you?"
"Our mother wants me to have dinner with so we can talk about my 'future' when I leave High School. Like what the fuck is that about."
"I may have told her she needs to wise up if she wanted to fix things with us." I shrugged walking over to my walk in wardrobe.
Looking around the room it had white carpets and white walls. The doors and shelves were all white to. Lights where shinning from the bottom of the drawers planted in the middle of the room which had my jewellery and watches in it. I picked up a pair of shoes that were on the shelves on the far side of the room and started to put them on.
My brother though didn't seem to get the hint that I wanted him to go away. I take everything back I didn't miss my brothers at all. Damon annoyed me enough to make up for them all.
"Why did you say that. I want nothing to do with the crazy bat."
He was telling the truth in fact our mother would probably have the hardest time winning him over. I would probably forgive her quicker than he would and that's saying something. Damon had hated her from the day she walked out on us. Yes our father wanted a divorce but that didn't mean she had to leave completely. Our father even put in the divorce papers that she could come and see us all as much as she wanted but she didn't. The only one she ever seem to really bother with was Alex. He was older though. He was a big time Lawyer and had his own money coming in. That was probably why he was already the favourite.
"Damon-"
"No Lyra!" to say I was shocked that Damon shouted at me was a understatement. I wasn't going to lie yes my brother shouted but I don't think I ever had one of them shout at me with pure rage in their voices. I don't think Damon had ever looked so angry at me, his eyes were bloodshot with the strain he was putting on himself. His jaw sharp and mouth clenched. Every muscle on his body stood out on edge. I knew he wanted to hit me in that moment but he couldn't. I was his baby sister after all and I knew that was the only thing that was saving me right now.
"I don't want anything to do with her and you of all people should know that." The normal fun loving, carefree Damon was gone and I knew in that moment I probably shouldn't have talked to my mother at all. "She left us Lyra, she left us when we needed her most. She left me, Hayden, Chase, Alex and most importantly you. She doesn't deserve to be in any of our lives. She only reappeared because she was marrying Riker's dad. Do you really think she would be here right now if it wasn't for that. The woman cares for no one but herself and the money that she can gold dig off other people."
He was right and I knew it but somewhere deep down I knew I wanted to believe that she could change. I knew that I acted like I wanted nothing to do with her but at the end of the day I just wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be my mom. I wanted her to be someone I could look up to but I knew that was never going to happen. For the first time in a long time I felt tears come to my eyes. I hadn't cried in front of anyone since our mother left and I wasn't going to start now.
"Get out Damon." My voice was low but I knew he heard me. I just wanted to be left alone. I was sick of being the person that was in the middle of everything. I was sick of being the person that everyone came to me to fix their problems.
"No Lyra you need to hear -"
"I said get the fuck out of my room Damon!"
To say he just as shocked as I did only a few seconds ago was a nice way of putting it. I have been angry with Damon before. Like when he hid the fact that he was working with Zane and now Riker from me. This though this was something else.
"Damon come on."
I had completely forgot that Riker was even in the room. I couldn't believe that I was almost going to cry in front of him too. This wasn't me, I didn't like feeling weak. I took a deep breath and calmed my breathing. I closed my eyes and could feel my heartbeat slow back down again. I opened them after a few seconds when I knew I had calmed myself and gave my brother a hard look.
"Get out."
Riker grabbed Damon by the arm and yanked him out through the door. I watched as he tried to get his arm out of Riker's grip but Riker didn't let him get out of the hold. As soon as they got out of my room I stormed over to the door and slammed it closed. I was sure our head butler Richard would've heard it from the other side of the house but I didn't care. I was pissed.
The more I stood there though the more I could feel my emotions start to take over. With my back to the door I slid down it my hands in my hair pulling hard as tears came to my eyes. It was the worst feeling the world when you just didn't know what to do anymore. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them to me as I just sat there and cried. I didn't even know why I was crying really. Maybe it was because Damon had shouted at me when he never had before, maybe it was over my mother who I actually wish was more involved in my life like a normal mom. Maybe I was crying because I was watching how much Sky was going through with her own family. Maybe it was because of Zane and Riker. In truth I didn't actually know what I was crying over. Maybe it was just everything. Maybe I just wasn't as strong as I thought.
I didn't even know how long had past. It could've been a few seconds, it could've been hours I didn't even know anymore. I wasn't crying anymore as I just stared off into the distance. Tears had stained my checks but I didn't make a move to wipe them away. What was the point when I just felt like crying again.
I heard a knock at my door but didn't budge. I prayed it wasn't Damon because I didn't want to see him for a while. I couldn't face him right now. I knew I had hurt him by telling our mother to be more involved in our lives when Damon didn't want that at all. In honesty I felt bad for it.
"Lyra it's me let me in." The voice was deep but soft and straight away I knew it wasn't Damon.
"Go away Riker. I just want to be left alone." My voice went quiet at the end and I didn't even know if he heard me but I didn't care. I was sure he would've got the hint anyway.
"Let me in." His voice was harder this time more serious.
"No." I was still looking off into the distance not fully registering what was going on.
I felt the door being pushed open even with my weight lying against it. I was just slid along the carpet as he pushed the door. Sometimes I forgot how strong Riker was. He came to stand in front of me and grabbed me by my arms and pulled me to my feet.
I glared at him. "Rude. Don't you know how to help a girl you dick. You don't help them up by their arms."
He laughed, his voice deep and comforting. "There's the Princess I know. Not the one having a breakdown on the floor."
I shrugged and rolled my shoulders back stretching out my body. He was right this wasn't me. He went to wipe away the tears that had stained my checks but I beat him to it with the sleeve of my jumper. I gave him a grin when he rolled his eyes at me in a playful manner.
"I'm not a Princess, I don't need saving. I'm a Queen and I've got this shit."
He gave me a proud look. Something I rarely seen in people when it came to me.
"That's my girl."