Read the authors note at the end.
Something wasn't right.
The shower was running. Again.
Stefan sweeps into her room hearing the sounds of heavy water drumming against the bottom of the tile. He frowns and moves toward the bathroom again for the second time that night.
He opens the door, not trying to hide his presence this time and squints against the harsh rays of the light fixture, finding Camelia folded in the corner with her legs clasped tightly against her chest in the shower. Her eyes were not filled with surprise when she lifts her head and spots him enter and close the glass door. She simply stared up at him with a sad acceptance. He approaches her cautiously and dropped to her side hating to see her in evident distress. Gently, without speaking a word he eased her slender barely clad body into his arms.
"How could you...Stefan?"
Stefan stiffens. He'd forgotten how his face was bare now and his eyes were on full display without contacts. His gut twisted.
She knew.
He could only hope she didn't hate him.
Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her delicate cheeks. The strings of his heart clenched as he gathered her stiff body into his arms and sat her on his lap as water droplets barely reached their legs. He cradled her, relishing the feel of her as he felt in his dream.
His Camelia. His lady in red.
Her body trembled in his arms, burying her face in his neck his grip on her tightened. Never in his life will he ever feel anything as right as her in his arms.
"Forgive me. Please don't cry, Princess." He pleads her tears wetting the skin of his bare chest. Her thick hair flowed freely down her back, sliding his hand into it, he eased the slight tangles as he had always wanted but never could be so bold before.
To be able to touch her body as himself eased the torn side that felt like it was handcuffed by heavy chains. The barrier holding them apart lifted as their bodies joined recognizing one another after such a extended absence.
"Y-you lied t-to me.." She sobs in anguish he felt down to his bones. He was causing this.  He was the reason for her tears and pain.
Stefan lifts her head and forces her to stare at him. His eyes roam all over her features, memorizing the light freckles over her nose, the exotic color of her eyes, her high cheek bones and lastly land on her inviting full lips. Without thinking, he bends his head and places a light kiss to her rosebud mouth, hungering for her as the desire flares within him.
She did not respond back to the kiss.
"Understand I had to for your safety." He declares as he pecs her lips once again, laying his forehead against her temple. "Camelia say something!" He demanded, lifting his head to stare deeply into her eyes, a frown of gentle concern etched clearly on his face.
Although not a word was uttered, her eyes spoke volumes. Flashes of pain, betrayal, disbelief, confusion, and fear flicker through her eyes much like a rushing train.
She grew a deep shaky breath. "I've waited for you for so long." She replies calmly. "You never came back. I waited and waited..." She trails off as a frown marred her brow. "You were with me this whole time and ultimately betrayed my trust."
"I never stopped thinking about you. Not once. I never forgot the promise I made. My only regret is I lied, but you must believe it was for your best interest. I had to." Stefan explains desperately trying to make her understand. "I was too famous at that point, if I were to pose as your bodyguard with even slight changes to my appearance I would have been recognized and I could have jeopardized your safety."
"I don't care about my safety! What I care about is you lied. I trusted you with every thing I had and you lied!" She kept accusing. "You had a choice! You could have told me and changed your appearance, no harm done!"
"I had to lie to preserve your safety." He states again.
"Well, I'm glad you finally decided to be truthful with me." She says sarcastically. "Thank you for respecting me at least that much!"
He silences her with a hard kiss. She pushes against his chest.
"I want you."Â He murmurs against her mouth.
"You want me or my body?" She asks hoarsely after lifting her head away. Tears sliding down her cheeks once more.
Stefan dips his face, kissing them away.
"I want all of you."
She jerks out of his embrace and stands. Stefan stands too and quickly pulls her towards him, crushing her against him, molding every inch of her sweet soft body to his.
Camelia couldn't stand the way she trembled in his arms and pulled back as much as she could. "It's the pleasure and the lust talking." She accuses.
The streaming shower grazed her and wets her body from behind as she takes a step back. Without warning, Stefan snatches her back and she crashes against his hard bare chest. He then switches their positionsâshe was now against the wall trapped within his arms as he leans his fists on either side of her head.
"You were the lady in red that night."Â He announces as he stares at her widening eyes.
Camelia gulps heavily and glances away from his burning penetrating blue-green stare. When did he figure it out? Heart pounding loudly in her ears, her throat was drying so fast she could barely swallow.
"H-how did-"
He cuts her off. "I saw the dress in your closet."
Everything was out in the open. He was Stefan and sheâthe lady in red. Secrets no longer lingered between them.
"When did...never mind, It doesn't change anything."Â She states not meeting his gaze. And found herself unable to move feeling his heavy gaze pinning her to the spot, burning into her soul.
"I beg to differ. It changes things." He replies in a slightly hard tone. Her eyes switch back to his. "The only question I have is why? Why didn't you tell me?"
Because I love you. Her heart replied.
"You had a chance to figure it out on your own that night but left me standing there allowing another man to win the auction." She swallows heavily. "Besides you were with someone else. What was I supposed to say? Hi Stefan it's me Camelia..? What then?"
"That would have been a good start." He eyed her thoughtfully. "You took my breathe away that night you know."  He declares. "I've couldn't get you out of my thoughts since."
Camelia inhales sharply as his words register, her heart twisting. It's all she's ever wanted to hear. Tears flood her vision once again. She hung her head and peeked up at him from under lowered lashes wanting more than anything to wrap herself in his strong arms and never let him go. She missed him so much it hurt.
They wasted so much time, she thought.
With one arm still holding her captive the other drops and shifts to lift her chin. A tear trickled down her cheek as he stepped closer, bending to kiss the lone shimmering tear.
"Camelia". He whispers leaning closer, tilting his head. Her eyes nearly drift closed as her lips part on a sigh ready for him to seduce her. Instead of giving in, she opens her eyes again and fought him, pushing him away from her only to turn her back to him, refusing to give into the wild passion she saw in his eyes.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and yanked her tightly against him. She stiffened. His chest was hard and hot against her back, his muscled body so large he seemed to surround her on all sides.
***The steamy scene is in my other book "Pleasures Of the Flesh."Â In order to view this scene, follow me first than download the book.***
Camelia almost collapsed. Weak after her climax she could barely hold on to him any longer. She unhooked her legs from him, slipping against the tile wall while Stefan's hands wrapped around her waist, easing them down gently against the now warm tile floor. He lays his head on her chest, she unable to move, too weak to say anything trying to gasp for air.
Moments passed.
The hot shower beat like small pellets against their legs. Camelia's breaths eventually evened out. She'd never felt closer to anyone in her entire life. Stefan, the stranger, the man she fell in love with from long ago. She stroked his wet, black hair and held him against her heart as they cuddled in silence.
Stefan lifts his head and cups Camelia's chin with a hand to look into her eyes. "I'm sorry Camelia I took advantage of you that way.  It shouldn't have happened."
Camelia stiffens instantly as if awoken from a dream. Like that the spell that pulled them together broke.
Camelia managed to stand with Stefan's help. She tore herself out of his arms and walked stiffly out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her body and out of the bathroom into her bedroom, her back still to him. Hugging one arm around her body to keep the towel upright to hide her nudity, the other covered her mouth to keep from sobbing out.
He was sorry. . .
Who would say that? What happened was beautiful. Their souls touched for the first time. Their connection glowed, emitting light and energy.
She felt it. How could he not?
It shouldn't have happened, he said.
Out of nowhere she felt ashamed and humiliated. How on earth could she had been so insane and allow him to use her? He could have penetrated her and severed her virginity.
She pressed her eyes shut, fighting to keep from crying. He was crazy if he thought things could back to the way they were before.
Too much had passed. Too much had been said. Too much had been done.
The truth now was not enough to recompense the past. Forcing back tears of anguish and rage over each lie, each hidden truth, Camelia turned, hearing his approaching footsteps.
He came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towelâhair damp, drops of water clinging to his shoulders and chest. She could see his erection under the towel, heavy and huge, pressed flat against his stomach.
"Camelia, I didn't mean it to sounâ".
"You're right what occurred between us shouldn't have happened."Â She held back the hurtful tears wanting to break through.
"I've never been in a situation where I didn't have the control." She listens to him muttering to himself. He looked at her. "I'm doing all the wrongâ." He tried to explain.
Camelia halts his attempts of explaining himself by raising her hand. She had never been in the presence of any person as confusing as Stefan. One second he's ravishing her, and in the next second, he's trying to take back what he meant to say.
The truth was really hard to hear.
"I-I talked to you that day and you acted distant, remember? Calling to thank you for the flowers and the cards. I reached out to you more than once Stefan. I was ready to throw myself at you as Kent and all you did was push me away."
"I had to do it. I had no choice. I wasn't going to encourage your feelings when I couldn't return them. I've been going through hell! I put my life on hold to protect you. Everything I did was for you."
He made it sound like she should be grateful and fall at his feet begging his pardon. Camelia shook her head angrily. She never asked him for any of those things. All she ever wanted was for him to love and need her as much as she him.
We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.
"You lived the lie and fed it to me at the same time. And all you could say, after touching me in the shower is that you're 'sorry'?" Camelia accuses advancing on him. "Excuse me while my pride takes a second to process all of this and then dump it in the trash! Do you have any idea what I have been going through because of you as Kent when all this time you were Stefan? I loved you." She falters for a second. "I loved both of you! I've been in such emotional strain for months, no let me correct that, years!"
"Why are you making this more difficult than it should be. I love youâyou love me, that should be enough!" He says raking a hand through his wet hair.
She pushed him hard.
"Enough? How dare you think that I'm that easy. I'm not one of your admirers that will fall at your feet because of your smile, Stefan, or your simple words. It's going to take much more than that. I deserve more!"
He moved backwards and she shoved him again, as hard as she could. His look was so dark and possessive, Camelia took a step back witnessing the change. His hands raised to her bare upper arms, grasping them, holding her still, and raising goosebumps on her skin.
"I would do it all over again." The note of defensiveness in his tone turned into something harder, colder. "How about that?"
Camelia gasped in shock and jerked out of his clutches, slowly retreating from him. He would lie all over again? His declaration of regret for lyingâ he said it was because of her safety. All his words in the shower meant nothing? He was willing to be selfish and let her continue believing the lie? That part was too much.
Her chest hurt.
"You don't mean that." She breathed, heart hammering, hoping he'd take the words back.
"Oh, but I do." He said, witnessing the raw determination in his stare. "What choice did you give me? What would anyone else do in my place?" He demanded.
He meant it. That part nearly killed her.
"Your intentions and words don't go hand in hand. You can't make me believe one thing then do another. My life is not a game, Stefan! I'm not a toy you can control wherever you want and say things to whenever it suits your needs. You are in no position to control my feelings. I'm not ten anymore!"Â She screams.
The man before her only shakes his head, his jaw twitching with contained anger, his back as rigid as a pole.
It was still Stefan but a stranger her heart did not recognize anymore. He broke her illusions. This version of Stefan dulled in comparison to the Stefan in her dreams.
At one time she was willing to throw everything away for him. Her family. Her sanity. Her life.
Everything.
His voice was a familiar sound, but nothing lasts forever.
"The things you say are so selfish!" Continuing without thinking, refusing to hold back anymore. "I can't believe you'd admit to my face the lie all over again." A faraway expression passes over her features. "What about me? How many chances did you have to tell me? You couldn't even trust me enough with the truth!"
The fact remained that he should have told her. She gave him everything when he regretted nothing. She'd given him all her trust and faith.
If only he'd been honest with her.
"Don't do this. I can't change the past. What's done is done."
That's all he had to say for himself.
Suddenly all the months of loneliness welled up in her eyes. The pain, the hopelessness she felt when her heart was breaking. This was not the man she knew. He was supposed to surpass her dreams and cherish her and sweep her of her feet. The man she needed should fight for her and not cast her emotional turmoil aside like he was accustomed to do.
Looks like she lied to herself. The reality was always harsher while the fantasy was just that, a fantasyâmade up to satisfy ones expectations and deepest desires.
Straightening, Camelia wiped at her eyes and spoke in a very calm, leveled voice. "I'm humbled by your undying service to me, Stefan. I should be the one that's sorry. My lousy excuse of a life kept you from work obligations and your personal life. I'm relieving you of your duties to keep me protected. I would like for you to leave and never look back." Camelia pulled back her bowed head and stared at him, agony and heartbreak in her red-rimmed eyes.
"That's what you want?"Â He asks. "After everything we have gone through, after everything we shared....?" She heard the sound of defeat in his voice.
Camelia felt her heart crack down the middle.
Don't give in, Stefan. Fight for me. Make me believe, she prayed.
She remained silent, biting her lip to keep her lips from trembling. If he'd just come grab herâshow her how much he really cared, she'd give inâput aside all of her concerns and give in.
His eyes darken, he nods coldly, the muscles in his chest tightening and stiffly he turns, walking away from her again.
Casting her aside, again.
A small hopeful part of her expected him to fight for herâto stay despite what she said. At least mend the words he harshly spoke.
"Perhaps it's better this way. You were almost taken twice because of me." He says coldly.
The door slammed.
Camelia flinched.
She fought the urge to go after him as her feet slip out from under her. With a low cry, her knees hit the carpet as her fingers claw into the thickness. Her shoulders trembled as tear slip free, spilling onto the floor, the sobs shaking her body and soul.
Not able to move, barely able to breath, the agony twisted through her gut. Sobbing at the unfairness in the world, and all the loss, pain and betrayal she'd experienced in the last year. Sobbing for Stefan, a man who she recently thought was another. A man, in such a short amount of time had meant so much to her.
Once her tears freely fall, they couldn't stop.
Memories flowed, old wounds were sliced open. Her thoughts flash back to her early years and all the love she held for him in her heart. Waiting for him to come to her and when she got him unexpectedly, he betrayed her trust.
They did not have a problem to find a solution to. It was a problem that couldn't be solved rather a truth she needed to accept. Sleep would not make it any better, time would only extended the pain.
They were meant to be but they did it wrong.
If he loved her, he would have tried to fight for her.
He gave up so easily.
He didn't care.
"Don't go."Â She whispered in anguish.
___________________________________
Before you throw your device out in anger and/or begin commenting, stop and think for a second.
You're not going to like everything they say. You're not going to like how they react. That's okay but please, refrain from commenting destructive criticism and declare it justified because that's how you feel. Give me constructive criticism, I respect that.
Writing things like: "I think Camelia is stupid for acting that way." Or "She's weak and acted like a child."
It's negative and I don't appreciate any of it. Don't insult the characters motives. Don't judge. It means you're insulting me. The writer.
It's not easy to write. If you've ever tried it you know. Especially when it's open to public scrutiny. It's a risk we all take. I'm happy to accommodate my readers and share my imagination with so many of you but it's also raw exposure.
There's a reason for everything I write. In other words, It's done on purpose.
Sometimes I go over the chapter at least twenty different times in order to get my point across (like today). In this specific update you're not supposed to like what you read. I'm trying to make you feel exactly how it is in everyday life.
See how things turned from bad to worse between Camelia and Stefan? It happens.
Especially with Stefan. I'm going to go ahead and say it: he acted like a selfish, ignorant dîck. And ladies, I know you all hate him right now.
If you think about it, they really never expressed their feelings about each other before except physically. They literally, don't know everything the other is thinking about them. But you guys know, and I know why it's frustrating for you.
Have you ever been in a argument where it ended up worse than it began?
Misunderstandings happen. Life throws hurtles at you to test you. Some people can't stand lies. It's a deal breaker most times. As I emphasized throughout this story, Camelia hates lying.
It takes one lie to lose it all.
Love is never enough, no matter how strong it is and if anybody believes thatâwell sorry to disappoint you because it isn't.  It's a small part of a lot of other things that make up a relationship. There's trust, understanding, loyalty, equality, respect, etc.....
These characters will grow and will learn a very important lesson. I'm known to push the envelope, so to speak and I never make anything easy. I'm not a easy person. That's how I am.
This isn't an ordinary love story where it's simple and everything is great. I'm trying to steer clear across from the term cliche.  Hold on for the second halfâwe have much unfinished business ahead. I'm taking you all on my roller coaster ride of emotional hell.
Ready?? :)
Thanks so much for understanding and all your support. I honestly appreciate everybody's enthusiasm and I love all your comments!
This chapter, by far, has been one of the hardest I've ever written for this story. More love, drama, and hate coming soon!
Please vote and comment how you felt about it! I do want to hear your reactions. :)
-Shaz