Chapter 113: Chapter Nineteen

Alex

I would kill her.

Just like I’d killed them.

Maybe not on purpose.

Maybe it would be an accident. Something that happened out of my own selfish ambition, because the pain was too much, because I was too distracted with my own needs.

But I knew it just as I knew my name, my purpose, my own daily suffering, and pain.

I would kill her.

And it would destroy me.

Her body trembled as I picked her up into my arms and slowly carried her up the stairs into my section of the house, a place I hardly let anyone enter, a place that nobody dared even try since it dripped with my scent.

And my scent had a way of making even the most logically minded people lose their shit.

It was why we never kept pets.

Mason refused to be called one anyway.

The point was, living organisms could only stand me for so long before they either needed me beyond reason, or hated me for their own want.

My parents had hated me.

Why would Hope be any different?

I’d unlocked a part of her that could never be hidden again, a part of her that would always need me, crave me, want me. And if we were separated she would die.

Of course she would hate me.

Because she would run.

And she would die.

And it — all of it — would be my fault.

A heaviness settled across my shoulders as I kicked open my door and laid her on the bed.

Her breathing was shallow.

And my world exploded into bright colors just watching her inhale and exhale.

I was owned by her.

And I would never tell her.

I crossed my arms and hovered over her and then shook her awake.

When her eyes opened, they were red like mine.

Pride swelled before I pushed it the hell down and fought for control. Taking her again would be glorious.

This time, I’d hear her scream my name before she passed out, this time, I’d strip her naked and lick her until I had her taste memorized, this time—

“What happened?” She pushed up on her elbows as her eyes went back to a boring chocolate brown. One I didn’t find beautiful at all.

Not.

One.

Bit.

God, she’d tasted like chocolate.

No!

“Congratulations are in order I think.” I winked, careful to keep my tone happy. “We’re mated, and we can now continue on saving the world. Thank you for your participation in the immortal mating program.” I held out my hand. She stared at it. “You shake it.”

“I’m human. I know how to shake hands.”

“Then you’d be doing it, but all you’re doing is staring at mine. I know how much you want to taste them, lick every inch of them, and there will be plenty of time for that when we have our scheduled sex, but until then…” I shrugged. “Out.”

“Out?”

“Yes.” I nodded slowly. “Are you always this dense? Out of my room.”

Finally, Hope took my hand and moved to a sitting position on the bed; she looked good there. She belonged there, by my side, in my bed, between my sheets, me between her thighs.

I shoved the thought far, far away and gave her a perfectly bored expression. “Has your hearing gone?”

“We’re mated.” She said the words carefully then blinked up at me. “And now you’re kicking me out of your room?”

“Here’s how this is going to go, elf…” I sat down next to her and patted her knee. “I’m going to use you for sex, so neither of us dies. I’ll grow in power because, well, naturally mates are stronger together… you’ll be fed, clothed, and be given a roof over your head and maybe, if we can convince tight-ass Cassius, we’ll get you a nice 401k with a stellar retirement plan.”

She jerked back. “What did you say?”

“401K.” I leaned in. “Basically we’ll match whatever—”

She slammed a hand over my mouth then jerked back. “I’m not stupid. I know what a 401K is. What I don’t understand is why you’re kicking me out. Aren’t mates…?” A pretty blush stained her cheeks. I wanted to lick the exact spot where her skin turned pink and then see how many times I could make it change color. “Aren’t they almost… married?”

“Yes.” Damn she was frustrating and clearly not getting the point. I didn’t want to be mean. But it was necessary. Keeping her alive was more important than making sure her heart was intact. I would kill her, just like I had killed the rest of her family. A person did not come back from that. I would never forgive myself. She would live.

Or I would die trying.

Even now I shook with the power she gave me, the power that I’d always tried to hide—ever since the elves' deaths. I had too much of it—I always did, I always would.

“Look,” I grabbed both of her hands. “It’s been fun, but this—” I pointed between us. “—is nothing but an agreement that mutually benefits us both. We have a world to save from itself, and you have… things to plant.”

Her stunned expression made me want to take back the words the minute I said them.

She huffed out a breath. “So, I’m basically your sex slave.”

“With,” I said cheerfully, “a 401K. Think of the possibilities, kiddo!” I pulled her to her feet and slapped her on the ass. “Now, out you go. I’m exhausted.”

“But—” She choked out the word as tears streamed down her face. “Was I not good enough? Did I do a bad job?”

I hated myself. “I’ve had worse. And with proper teaching, you’ll get better.” She was the best I’d ever had. Even now I craved her, could smell my scent all over her.

Hope was still frowning and silently crying when I shoved her toward the door.

I didn’t have room in my life for failure.

Not now.

Not when I had a job to do.

And I refused to fail them, her race, for the second time.

Distance. She needed distance away from me. Better she know that now than getting her hopes up that this relationship would be anything more than physical.

It was survival.

Necessity.

It would never be love.