Chapter 15: Chapter Fifteen

Ethan

I should have known something was wrong the minute I got into my new Lexus LFA and drove like hell down the winding road.

I’d become accustomed to nice things in life. Living as long as I had, I’d learned to take pleasure from hobbies. My interests ranged from collecting fine art to archery.

Had I not done something with my time, I would have gone absolutely insane.

My most recent pleasure? Cars. The leather felt smooth against my hot skin; the smell tantalized me. And the speed? Well, the speed was just a bonus.

But not now… it seemed everything absolutely paled in comparison to the taste of her.

Maybe it had been too long— the effects of bloodlust could drive a vampire insane— but it wasn’t mindless lust I was feeling for her, just intense desire to be near her, to drink from her, to share my soul with her for no other reason than I’d bonded with her.

But if I shared more of my blood, if I took more from her, giving her mine in exchange, she’d continue to be able to see my memories, my dreams— everything I’d been keeping close for the past hundred years.

And the horrible part? She wasn’t invested, at least not emotionally, and the last thing I wanted was for her to pity me. The idea made me snort out loud, a human pitying an immortal.

The idea was laughable, if it wasn’t so damn tragic.

She’d want to make the pain go away…

When really I just wanted to start over.

Cassius wasn’t at his usual spot, opting for a more public arena. I hadn’t wanted to argue with him yet again over what his presence did to mere mortals.

I’d simply sent him a text and agreed to meet in the U District for coffee.

Cassius hated coffee.

But he drank it because it made him feel normal.

I drank it because it took the edge off wanting to rip someone’s throat out.

The car squealed into a nearby parking spot. I hit the alarm and made my way toward Starbucks.

People stared.

They couldn’t help it.

Just like they couldn’t help but ask for autographs, even though they had no idea who I was—just assumed, by my looks, that I was famous or about to be.

Years ago, it had been flattering—when I still possessed a heart and didn’t think the world was going to come crashing down around me at any second. Years ago, I had been naïve.

No more.

Cassius was sitting outside, though it was drizzling.

He was covered by the umbrella, sipping at his cappuccino and reading the freaking newspaper, like he didn’t already know everything there was to know.

I dropped my keys onto the table loudly.

He didn’t look up. “Got you a caramel-macchiato thing that tastes like hell. You’re welcome.”

Rolling my eyes, I took the cup into my hands and sat down, bringing the hot liquid to my mouth.

It was bitter.

It tasted nothing like her.

I couldn’t even pretend that I was enjoying myself. Would nothing take the edge off?

“So…” Cassius set down the paper, and gazed at me from behind his sunglasses, which kept people from asking why the hell his eyes kept turning white. “That was clever of you.”

“Vampires… we’re known for it,” I said in a dry tone, leaning back in my chair. “Besides, you owed me, and you know it.”

“I saved your life.” Cassius snorted. “I hardly think that puts me in your debt.”

“You had no proof, no right, no—

He held up his hand. “Enough. I don’t wish to discuss the past.”

He never did.

I cursed and took another sip of coffee. “What’s done is done. Now we wait.”

Cassius looked so out of place sitting in a small chair, appearing to fit in. His body was too large, his countenance too dangerous. He tilted his head as if listening to the wind.

“Her scent is on you.”

“Caught that, did you?”

“A hundred years.”

“People really need to stop reminding me,” I grumbled, no longer interested in my coffee or the conversation we were having.

Why the hell I’d agreed to meet with someone I used to call brother was beyond me.

“You aren’t as strong as I am, Ethan. You cannot hope to keep me from her, not when so much is at stake.”

And there it was.

I hissed out a breath. “I’m afraid your hands are tied.”

“Are they?”

I stood, placing my palms on the table, towering over everyone. “You’d repeat history for your own selfish reasons? Is that what this is? I’m trying to save lives, Cassius!”

“This has nothing to do with her!”

“Which is why your eyes,” he said calmly, “continue to go black, why your blood boils beneath the skin that covers it, why your heart is in perfect cadence with hers.

“Yes, I can hear it, even from this far away, though I can’t directly find her. Know this… I will.”

“Unless you get her alone, you have no chance.” I sat, half-tempted to toss my coffee in his face and tear his throat out for good measure.

“She’ll come to me of her own accord. When you fail—and fail you will—she’ll come to me. They always do.”

My body shuddered with the onslaught of past memories. “You brainwashed her.”

“I offered her a solution.”

“You gave her death.”

“I didn’t say it was a good solution.” Cassius shrugged. “Remember this, I’ve been damned to earth to help your cause—to help the immortals and humans keep balance.”

“When you fail, it’s my head— not yours.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s been over five hundred years since we’ve had a visit from one of the archangels. I highly doubt they’re going to do it now. There’s nothing special about her.” That was a lie.

“I smell your doubt, vampire.” Cassius growled my name, pushed back the chair, and stood. “Have your fun, try to win her affection, but know in the end, it will be me who has to save everyone.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a god-complex?”

“I come by that quite naturally, I assure you.” He nodded and walked off, calling behind him, “Do your worst, Ethan, or maybe I should say… try your best?”

“Ah, so may the best man win and all of that.” I laughed. “Yet you forget. Your very essence will kill her.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” He raised one hand and lifted the opposite shoulder in a seemingly casual shrug. “And I’m willing to take that risk.”

“In order to save us all, I would take that risk every time. I wonder… would you?”

I swallowed and looked away, knowing he’d hit me at my weakness.

Because I’d seen the signs with Ara and had ignored them because I’d thought I loved her, and in the end, I’d still refused to give her up, forcing his hand. Humiliation ate away, pinching my chest.

“This evening? She’ll be in attendance then? Since the mating is… complete?” he asked, toying with his keys.

“She’ll be there.”

His grin was menacing. “Lovely.”

Right.

He walked off.

And I stayed, planted in my seat, wondering if history truly was repeating itself, and if she wouldn’t have been better off dying by Cassius’s hands—dying in a blissful state—than living with someone who apparently had no capacity for love… or who, for some reason or another, was unlovable.

And that was the crux of the matter.

Regardless of what I’d done, my mate had never loved me back. Had never looked at me with the same adoration as I’d looked at her.

My love had destroyed her.

And in the end, I truly had no one to blame but myself, for being selfish enough to have hidden the truth from Cassius until it had been too late—selfish enough to have wanted to keep the child who hadn’t even been mine.

Love, in all my experience, was just that—selfishness wrapped up in a pretty little bow.

I took one last drink of coffee and stood, just as a few giggling girls walked out of the coffee shop. They stopped. Their hearts, however, picked up speed as they glanced at me and blushed.

I didn’t have time to placate them. Instead, I growled and stomped off in the other direction.

Stay alert.

Keep to the plan.

And above all—don’t allow Genesis in. Because I wouldn’t survive it a second time.