32) trust

ARMAAN

As I expected ,

Things were awkward,

But I was feeling too angry to accommodate her.

I do not know why she has such effect on me.

Is this wife effect?

When a woman is your wife , you feel this deeply?

Maybe.

She entered with children,

All in their nightdresses,

With blankets and pillows thrown on Mausam.

I irritatedly took them from her ,

Did she not ask any of the servents to do such things?

No all the work she has to do herself!

I scowled at her.

She looked at me conflicted.

When finally the stories were told

And they both went to sleep.

I turned my back and tried to sleep.

Yet I was extremely aware of her sleeping facing me.

" AAP so Gaye?" She asked softly.

I wanted to ignore her but,

" Nahi." I said without turning toward her.

" Can we talk?" She requested , I could sense her hesitantcy .

I exhaled loudly and turned to face her.

In the darkness I could make out her figure though not see her expression.

" What do you want to talk about?" I hissed.

" Please don't be like this , I know you are angry that I met with Reyansh , and you suspect I am still with him. But that's not true. He was waiting for me there . I never tried to meet with him . And I swear I have no contact with him whatsoever. " She explained.

She did not!

" Then why did not you tell me ?" I accused her.

" You just assumed on your own , I did not want to tell you that he tried to meet me , several times. it's.."

" You pity him ? You think I would hit him or something if he tried to accost my wife everywhere she went?" I grunted angrily.

I could sense her wincing.

" Yes , I mean no , I Mean i did not want things to blow out of proportion. I did not want you to face him."she whispered.

I felt winded now.

If she said , he was the one to balme then I ,I should believe her , I had decided to trust her after all , did not I?

" Mausam , it is very hard for me to trust you." I admitted.

" I know." She sniffled.

She suddenly hurried her face in pillow.

Her breath turned heavy.

" Muasam?" I breathed.

I had the sudden urge to bring her in my arms.

" What can I do that will make you trust me?" She begged.

" Tell me the truth. Tell me. Tell me when there is something wrong so I don't assume the worst. Tell me so I am not in the dark , so I am not in doubt wondering why my wife is hiding things from me!" I said a bit loudly, she flinched, Aarva stirred in his sleep.

She hastily patted him and cooed to him, he instantly got calm.

It squeezed my heart , our mistakes had made our son suffer so much.

I should be brave about things ,

Or else we will always be craving for each other's love.

" Yes , you did not trust me , it is hard for you to trust me. But Armaan would be always be like this? We have decided that staying together is best for our children , but can we stay together given our past?would you always not trust me?" She questioned.

She questioned everything I wanted to cover up.

Everything I wanted to never remember.

Our dark past , I wanted to bury it.

I gulped air , it felt as if I would drown in it.

" Mausam , you .. what" I gasped.

" Armaan are you okay?" She sounded panicked.

I closed my eyes , focusing , I can't, can't spiral now.

" Things were what it was because you never told me anything. Always hiding . What was I supposed to do? I believed what everyone else believed." I hissed.

" You could have asked me! You never asked me" she seehted.

" I. I" I was at loss for words.

She exhaled.

" Armaan , I do not want to fight , but I think we can't continue like this. We have issues , we need to resolve them , that is what would be good for us and children." She said somberly.

My heart hardened.

Whs she?

No she was not right?

" Are you asking for divorce? I won't allow it." I snarled.

"What ? No, not divorce. I mean we should seek therapy maybe, two of us. We are not good at this marriage thing, neither are you a good husband nor I am a good wife ." She finished.

" Oh" I gulped .

" I will think about it." I said.

" And Mausam , please don't ever keep things from me like this. I can't just . I just can't ." I admitted to her and she said" I know.i am sorry ."

" I am sorry too." I whispered.

Updated on-11/12/24