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After a few minutes I stopped at the drive-through of the fast foot chain and ordered our midnight snack.
Since Heeseung had already paid the entrance fee to the space center, I insisted on paying for the meal for both of us. And although he didn't want to accept and wanted to pay himself, I won in the end, because I sat at the side of the counter and simply held out my card to the woman.
"I asked you out, so I pay for everything. That's the simple rule.", he complained but I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on. Im hungry as well, you shouldn't pay for my food.".
I handed him the bag and he immediately started unpacking everything, causing some fries to land on the floor mat of the car.
"But you're welcome to clean the car if you make a mess here.". I laughed as he fished the fries off the floor.
"I'll stop here for a minute and we'll eat here in the car," I suggested. "It's too cold outside.".
As I parked the vehicle, I slid the seat back enough to sit comfortably while stretching my legs. Since cereal was my only meal for lunch today, I couldn't wait any longer to try my burger.
"How are you halfway done!?", I gasped in shock as his burger was already almost eaten.
"As I said, I'm hungry.", he grinned as I took my first bite.
The second I took a sip of my Fanta I had a flashback, which gave me a funny idea. "Never have I ever peed my pants from laughing".
He looked at me with a "are you kidding me" look, which amused me deliciously. Grinning, I chewed on my straw. "Did you?".
"NO? Of course not.".
"Liar.".
"Bahh, that's disgusting. Why would I lie?" he objected petulantly.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Okay, come down! Next question. "Never have I ever had to sleep with the lights on after watching a scary movie.".
"What kind of questions are those?", he laughed.
"Answer!".
Instead of answering, he took a sip of his cola, which made me grin. "I knew it! You're a scaredy-cat."
"Never have I ever made a move on a friend's sibling.". I threw the next question straight after it.
Of course, Heeseung drunk again, with an annoyed sigh. I knew he just wanted to eat his burger in peace, but I enjoyed bugging him. So was all the more surprised when he interrupted me and asked a question himself.
"Never have I ever had a crush on a teacher...",
I gasped in shock, since he knew this was actually one of my best hidden secrets. "Mr. Moon is hot! Okay? Don't fucking blame me.".
"Is he hotter than me?", Heeseung raised his eyebrows.
âThat's not the question.", I innocently took another sip.
âOkay! So. Never have I ever had a spicy dream with the other person in this car.".
I almost choked on my drink when I heard the question. "With you?!"
"Wait, why are you asking stuff like that suddenly? My questions weren't that bad.". I complained and ate some of my my fries that Heeseung and I had poured together.
"Because I'm curious." he shrugged.
âNo?", I simply answered but it sounded more like an indignant question. âThat's super weird.". Okay, let's ignore the fact that it has happened more often in the last few months, and the last time was less than 24 hours ago. There's no way I would admit it.
I shifted my position on the seat so that my back was now leaning against the window and my legs were close to my body on the cushion of the seat.
I tried to ignore Heeseung's probing look and stared down at my phone. As always when I didn't know what to do and wanted to distract myself somehow, I opened Snapchat and looked at photos I had been sent by others.
âWhat was the dream about? Did we have sex?", I glared up for a second and noticed his grinning face. I remained silent and tried to block him out again.
âWas it good?".
âHeeseung, can you shut up? I won't answer you.".
My fingers were typing on my cell phone as if by themselves. I had lost all control over my body, which was doing everything it could to remain calm.
However, it didn't help that one photo after another popped up on Snapchat. All the pictures he had been sending me for the past few months were now on slideshow and I was trying to skip through them as fast as I could.
But one picture caught my attention and I was able to stop my finger just in time to prevent the image from disappearing and thus being deleted.
Unlike all the other pictures that were usually taken in bed or somewhere outside, this one showed him in the bathroom.
His torso completely on display, gray sweatpants hanging quite low and in addition dripping wet hair, whereby the water drops sliding down, reflected on his skin.
I swallowed hard, because I didn't expect Heeseung to be built that well since I had seen him the last time.
âYou've got some drool there.", Heeseung pointed to his chin. "Reflections in the glass exist. I can see exactly what you're looking at.".
Embarrassed, I turned off my phone in a flash, which made him laugh next to me.
âWhy did you send this though?", I asked him, my face completely flushed.
He flipped down the sun visor on his side and pushed the small mirror to the side to fix his hair. "Because I like it when you're intimidated like that.".
At his brief sideways glance, my stomach tightened and I hugged my legs.
"I kinda wanna see it.".
The sound of the sun visor flipping up was the only thing that now echoed through the car.
I covered my mouth with one hand. Fuck, my goddamn impulsiv thoughts!
Heeseung stared at me for a few seconds.
This was actually the worst awkward silence ever.
âWell, if you ask me very sweetly, I will show you.". A wry smirk appeared on his face and I thought about killing myself.
I couldn't answer. I didn't know what. My heart was beating up to my throat and I was so close to dying of a heart attack. I was everything but glib. I didn't know how to deal with his comments and flirty personality. The only thing that ever worked was that crappy intimidated feature that kicked in as soon as he flipped even a little switch inside of me.
I slid back in the seat and buried my head between my arms and the steering wheel. "Hee...please...you know I can't...".
He dropped his head against the window. "How can you be this fucking cute.".
âCome on. It's pretty late. I will keep my mouth shut.", he promised.
But even during the ride, one oppressive thought just wouldn't let me go. It felt constricting not to know. Only to guess and think up scenarios. Therefore I decided to simply address it directly
âCan you answer me something honestly?", I asked him.
âSure...".
âLike i mean, answer it seriously honestly. I wanna know the truth. I won't blame you for anything.".
He squinted his eyes thoughtfully.
âThat night, on your birthday. When you left with that girl. What happened between you two?".
Heeseung looked over at me seriously, which I only noticed in the corner of my eye. "Nothing happened. I promise you.".
But I just shook my head. "Like I always said before. I wanted you to date girls. You could make your free decisions. But please tell me like if you guys kissed or slept with each other, because I really need to know...for my conscience.".
âThere's no reason why I would be lying to you, Hyeo. She tried to kiss me and wanted to get down on me, but I noticed something was off, so I kicked her out, before anything could happen.".
I nodded slowly. There's actually no reason why he would lie to me. "Okay.". I trusted him. Every single part of my body did. If he wasn't serious about us, he would never have flown to America to see me.
***
I spent the whole next day in bed. The rainy weather was getting to me and I had an indescribable headache for hours. But fortunately it was Sunday and there was nothing to do anyway. Kathy had been writing her bachelor's thesis since this morning and I only saw her when she could take pity on herself to come out of her room and get something to eat.
A really slow day today. I hadn't done anything else than watch a complete series without a break and had started directly with the next one. In the meantime, I had also texted Heeseung, but on the one hand, he was out with Jay today, and on the other hand, I didn't want to be stuck with him for 24 hours.
"What do you say we order dinner?", Kathy suddenly dashed into my room, causing my phone to drop out of my hand and off the mattress onto the floor in shock.
"Man Kath...I cursed, and fished it back up without moving much.
"I'm so hungry, I'm going to die," she moaned in agony, flopping back onto my bed. "By the way. Becca and I are meeting up at the university library later for a midnight study session. You coming?" she rolled onto her stomach.
"Naah, not this time. I just don't want to do anything today.". I turned away from her and clicked the play button. "Okay, then don't. We'll probably be home around 3.".
"Don't you have an exam tomorrow?"
"I do. But not until noon," Kathy clarified.
"Order me a salad, please," I called after her as she left my room again.
I sighed and rolled onto my side as I snuggled my head into the pillow. With weather like this and this cold, one would prefer not to leave one's house for several months. At least as long as it didn't snow.
With time, the voices from my phone became softer and softer and the surroundings increasingly darker, so that I fell asleep, as already 5 times before today.
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