Book 7 Chapter 3

“Hey daddy,” Joan said before she walked into the Hardwin’s study. She was rewarded by him cringing.

“Please don’t do that,” Hardwin said, turning to glare at her. “What do you want? Wait, what is that?” he asked before motioning to her shoulder.

“Teleporting magic spider,” Joan said. “Zorn gave it to me, kind of. He likes me, I think. Apparently I’m shiny. He doesn’t talk much, so he’s not so bad. He doesn’t bite me now, either.”

“I see you’re wearing the gauntlet again,” Hardwin said. “Does this mean you’ll be aging a few more years next time I see you?”

“The gauntlet wasn’t a part of that,” Joan said. “That was the gods. You’d need to ask them, they were the ones who were all like, okay, that’s fine. Just break all the rules and go do some stuff. All for the low cost of… anyway, that’s not important. I just came to say hi.”

Hardwin’s eyes narrowed on her. “Did you really come here just to see if you could annoy me by talking like that?”

“Entirely,” Joan said with a grin. “Does it really bother you that much when I call you dad? Or do you prefer father? Honored patriarch?”

Hardwin just glared at her. “You know, most would question the wisdom of angering me.”

“Most don’t know you as well as I do,” Joan said. “You have a lot more restraint than others give you credit for. Even if you do get mad pretty quick, it’s not like you ever actually hurt anyone. Well, past a few bruises.”

Hardwin shook his head and glanced down at his desk. “What do you actually want, Joan?”

“Maybe I just wanted to see you,” Joan said. “Ask about your trip. Did you have fun?”

“Joan,” Hardwin said before reaching up a hand to rub his forehead. “You’re giving me a headache.”

“Maybe I just want to be around you,” Joan said. “I mean, you keep running off the moment I’m near, or sending me off, or I’ll bet even now you’re hoping to get rid of me. Right?” She walked to his desk and put her hand palm down on the desk. Zapper, unfortunately, took that as a recommendation to crawl down her arm and skitter onto the table. It took all of her self control not to yank her hand back and start frantically wiping it off. She didn’t care what Zorn said, she did NOT want this thing to stay near her, no matter how much it thought she ‘glowed’.

Hardwin eyed the spider before he reached out to grab a heavy book from the desk.

“Don’t squash him!” Joan said quickly.

Zapper, at least, took the hint and quickly moved away from him. Hardwin gave a sigh. “You know, if you desired a pet, perhaps a dog would be better.”

“Never had a dog before,” Joan said with a small chuckle. “Probably because it’d be another thing I had to protect. Not very… uhhhh…” She then glanced down to the gauntlet. “Zapper? I’m going to take off the gauntlet for a moment. Don’t go too far away, stay in sight. Okay? Don’t come back onto me until I say.”

“Okay,” Zapper said before skittering across the desk.

Even if he could talk back, she really couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable around him. Sure, the spider lich had been a lot bigger and scarier, but at least it had never tried to have her carry it. Granted, even naming it ‘Boney’ had done little to make her feel more comfortable about it. She shuddered when, with a sudden flash, the spider disappeared. She took the gauntlet off with a light grunt and laid it on the desk. “Gonna be honest. Even if I can talk with him, still creeps me out.”

“Him? Your spider?” Hardwin asked.

“Zorn’s spider, if anything,” Joan said before shuddering again. “Apparently he likes me. I ‘glow’ or something. I don’t know. So, ummmm…”

“Joan,” Hardwin said. “I do have work to do. If this isn’t pressing--”

“When do you ever not have work to do?” Joan asked. “You’re always running off and doing who knows what, or going to be around Emeline. You know she still hates me, right? You saw it.”

“She saved your life,” Hardwin said.

“Barely,” Joan said. “She didn’t want to. But you know, don’t you? You see the way she looks at me, the way she talks about me?”

Hardwin gave a soft sigh and shook his head. “I do. But she’s complex.”

“You always take her side,” Joan said softly. “Even when I was the Hero, you took her side. Even when you and I were--”

“Joan,” Hardwin said, cutting her off.

“Close,” Joan said quickly. “You’d always take her side and believe it was just a misunderstanding.”

“It is,” Hardwin said.

“It’s not a misunderstanding!”

“On her part,” Hardwin said. “On the nature of the Hero.”

“Well, good for her then,” Joan said. “Since there’s never going to be another one, I guess she can be happy knowing that he’s gone.”

“Joan,” Hardwin said. “She’s not… she doesn’t hate you.”

“Well, I guess all those times she tried to kill me were just happy little accidents then, weren’t they?” Joan asked.

“That’s not what I meant,” Hardwin said. “We talked and, well…”

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“Oh, right,” Joan said. “I’m supposed to just let it go, right? Forgive her for everything? Just--”

“No,” Hardwin said, cutting her off. “You’re not.”

“Then what do you want from me?” Joan asked.

“I just want you to, well, I want the two of you to… I guess…” Hardwin said, though she could see the indecision on his face. The quill he was holding snapped when he clenched his hand too tightly, though he didn’t seem to notice. “I don’t know. I would like it if the two of you could get along. You--”

“I don’t want to be near her,” Joan said. “I know she’s important to you, I won’t do anything to let her die if I can avoid it. If we tolerate each other’s existence, isn’t that enough?”

“Joan,” Hardwin said softly.

“You can say my name as many times as you want,” Joan said. “But it doesn’t change things. You’ve been trying to get us to be friendly to each other for more lifetimes than I can count. It’s not going to happen.”

“Can you please give her a chance?” Hardwin asked.

“I did,” Joan said. “I told her, didn’t I? Who I was? Why I was important? You know what her response was? To send me away.”

“To save your life,” Hardwin said.

“She didn’t want to,” Joan said. “And I don’t know. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it would be better if I died before I could destroy the kingdom. I’m NOT those past heroes. I don’t know what they did or why they did it. I don’t even know if I ever will. But I AM me. Besides, I saved her life, didn’t I? I warned you about the attempt on her life.”

Hardwin shook his head. “Why?”

“Why what?” Joan asked.

“If you hate her so much, why warn me about that?” Hardwin asked.

“Because no matter how much she hates me and I want nothing to do with her, she’s still your friend,” Joan said. “If she dies, it’ll hurt you and I’ve caused all of you enough pain.”

Hardwin was quiet for a long moment, closing his eyes and she could see the veins in his neck tensing. He was trying so hard to restrain his temper, not that she could blame him. Being caught in the middle of the two of them couldn’t be easy, especially considering everything else that was going on. “Do you expect her to betray me?”

“What? No,” Joan said quickly. “Why would she ever do that?”

“I’m one of the Chosen,” Hardwin said. “The Chosen and the Hero are linked. They--”

“She would never, ever betray you,” Joan said quickly.

“You seem awfully certain of that,” Hardwin said.

“Well, she just, she…” Joan glanced away, unable to meet his gaze. She didn’t believe Emeline would ever try to hurt him. She remembered the tears the queen had spilled when Hardwin died. His funeral. The anger, the way she had lashed out at the Hero. “She hates the Hero. Not you.”

“I don’t think she hates you,” Hardwin said.

“I am the Hero,” Joan said.

“You’re both very stubborn,” Hardwin said.

“As if you’re one to talk,” Joan said.

“I guess this is about as open to her as you’re going to get,” Hardwin said.

“Probably,” Joan said.

“Well, she asked me to give you something,” Hardwin said. “If you’ll accept it.”

Joan cringed. “What? No punching me.”

“Joan!” Hardwin said, his temper obviously rising again.

“What? It was a joke, come on,” Joan said sheepishly. “A message? A warning?”

“A gift,” Hardwin said before giving a soft, exasperated sigh. “Nothing much. A thank you for saving her.”

Joan blinked a few times and her eyes narrowed. A gift from the queen. Oh, she could imagine a thousand things, none of them good. Probably subtle, at least. Laced with hidden meaning and threats. Maybe an executioner’s axe. “Okay, where is it?”

Hardwin got to his feet and walked over towards one of the shelves before pulling out a small, wooden box. Well, it didn’t look big enough for an axe, could probably fit a few knives though. “Here,” he said before putting it on the desk. “I don’t know why she chose something like this. But she thought you might appreciate it.”

Joan glared at the box. She reached over and flipped the lid open before peering inside. Maybe she was worrying too much, perhaps it was jewelry or something nice. Unlikely. Her eyes went wide and she reached inside. “Why would she give me something like this? Did you tell her? This is hardly heroic.”

“I don’t know,” Hardwin said with a shrug. “She said she doubted I’d think to get you one and you were unlikely to ask. If you don’t want it you can toss it. I didn’t think you’d take it anyway.”

“Aren’t I a little old for something like this?” Joan asked.

“I wouldn’t know,” Hardwin said.

Joan stared at it. It was a doll. Just a doll. Sure, it was a really fancy one, with a cute little dress and made of very soft fabric. She had no idea what was inside it, but it was certainly soft to the touch. She’d seen dolls like this before, but never had one. Even the Hero had wanted one, though he’d never admit it. They were just really pretty and they felt nice to hold because you could squeeze them. But the Hero didn’t play with toys.

“Joan?” Hardwin asked.

“What?” Joan asked before glancing up at him. “Right. Sorry. I was just thinking. Thank you, I guess. But I don’t need toys. I’ve got a world to save. I don’t really have time for this. Besides, I’m too old for this.” She eyed the box. She should just toss it in, she knew. It’d be the smart thing. But she didn’t want to. Seriously, when did she have time for toys? Even soft, pretty ones? She reached out to put the toy in the box…

Only for Hardwin to reach out and close the box before she could. “How about you hold onto it for now?” he asked. “As a thank you for your help. Otherwise Emeline will keep trying to give you things to thank you.”

Joan sighed. “She doesn’t need to thank me. I did it for you, not her.”

“Then consider it a gift from me for helping,” Hardwin said.

“Fine,” Joan said, her cheeks burning a little. She knew he was trying to play her, making excuses. It was just a toy, it wasn’t a big deal. It really wasn’t. She’d had toys before. She had a few while in the orphanage. The Hero had a few before his father died. Probably quite a few after, not that he ever had any chance to play with them. It was just a silly little doll.

“I do have work to get back to,” Hardwin said. “Why don’t you go talk with one of the other Chosen?”

“What?” Joan asked. “Oh, right. Yeah. Ummm, I’ll go show Korgron the spider. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”

“Sure,” Hardwin said.

Joan nodded sheepishly before sliding the gauntlet back on her arm, cringing when it bit down on her hand. “Okay, Zapper. Let’s-- GAHHH!” She couldn’t help screaming when the spider just appeared ON her arm. “Don’t do that! Warn me!”

“You told me to come,” Zapper said.

“Not so fast, just… ugh,” Joan said before turning and storming out from the room. Maybe she’d get lucky and Korgron would decide the spider was too dangerous and she didn’t have to try and learn to accept it.