Book 7 Chapter 23

“I hate this,” Joan said to the gods, glaring at the heavens. “You know that? I really hate this. Whoever is watching this? If any of you are? I really hate this. This is not funny. Why? Why do you do this? Yes, I know it’s kind of my fault but you couldn’t just give me one break?”

Joan gave a soft sigh before going still. She listened, but she didn’t hear anything. After a few moments she started walking again.

In retrospect, she didn’t know what she expected to happen. Why would they believe her? Why wouldn’t they demand for her to wait while they examined what she said? Lord Palkin was the lord of Tomefall, so they weren’t just going to BELIEVE her when she said he was working for the demons and bring the Chosen here. Frankly, she was probably lucky they’d given anything she said some credence at all. That they’d agreed to send a message to the queen, but in the end it would be her word against his.

Unfortunately, they then decided that they’d need to hold her until a message arrived. More or less lock her up. Not a chance. She’d managed to get away easily enough, but it wasn’t like she was doing much better now.

Trying to make her way to Hardwin’s keep on foot. Hopefully Palkin assumed she was going to Starsrest and would send whoever he intended after her that way. But if the queen DID find out she was coming, she’d know that she was heading to Hardwin’s keep and might try to ambush her on the way. Like it or not, this was the ideal situation for them.

She was on foot, the people who could and would protect her didn’t know where she was or even if she was still alive. No easier time to remove her permanently. Ensure that the ‘Hero’ never dismantled any kingdoms. Ugh. Stupid. SO STUPID. Why did she think it would be so easy? She should have just stolen a horse or something and ridden to Hardwin’s keep.

The worst part of all, though?

Was that she was lost and had no idea where she was. She couldn’t travel on the main roads and she assumed that she was smart enough to not get lost. To find her way to Hardwin’s with ease. She should have arrived a day or two ago. Instead she was lost and wasn’t even sure if she was going in the right direction anymore. She was cold, hungry, filthy and just so, so, so tired of everything going wrong. “I’m trying my hardest,” Joan said. “Can’t you see that? I’m trying to save the world too. Can’t you send them a message or something? Tell them I’m okay? That I need them?”

All she received in response was the wind blowing through the leaves.

“I guess not,” Joan said. “Why would--” She went silent and listened.

This time she knew she heard something.

She heard it again. Very softly, but it was there, off in the distance. Heavy hoofsteps. Not a full gallop, but fast enough. She quickly took cover behind a tree and peered out. Oh, how desperately she hoped it was one of the Chosen. Please be one of the Chosen. She pleaded to the gods to, just this once, let things be not so terrible. Just--

Her eyes widened when one of the horses galloped by. Not a Chosen, but close enough.

“BAUTEUT!” Joan called out. She gave a silent thank you to the gods. It seemed they WERE listening.

Bauteut pulled on the reigns and her horse quickly came to a stop, turning to face her. Bauteut didn’t even fully wait for the horse to stop, leaping out of the saddle and barely managing to stop herself from falling on her face, running towards her.

Joan couldn’t help herself. She ran and met the other girl halfway, leaping into a tight hug. She couldn’t help it. Finally. Finally things were going her way. It took so, so long but they were finally going her way. She relaxed against her friend and just let the enjoyment of a nice, warm hug wash over her. Eventually, Bauteut slowly pulled her hands back. Joan blinked and slowly pulled back as well. “Sorry, I know I probably smell pretty bad.”

Bauteut just stared at her for a few moments, tears streaming down her face before, finally, she took a deep breath. “You stupid reckless BRAT!” Bauteut yelled before grabbing her by the shoulder and shaking her violently. “YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARED WE ALL WERE?”

“W-what?” Joan asked, struggling to keep things in focus.

“We thought you died! Where were you? WHY were you here? What in the world is WRONG with you? How could you do this to us?” Bauteut asked. “When the rest find out you’re still alive, they’re going to kill you!”

“What?” Joan asked. After a moment the shaking stopped and she dropped to the ground, sitting on her butt while the world seemed to spin around her. “Why are, what? Huh? Why would you think I, what?”

“You died! We thought you died!” Bauteut said, shaking her again.

“P-p-p-please s-s-stop s-s-shaking me!” Joan said, struggling to keep herself focused. After a moment the shaking stopped and she shook her head, trying to get the world to stop spinning. “Why would you think I died?”

“Because none of us could remember you,” Bauteut said.

“So?” Joan asked.

“Because we thought that was what that weapon did,” Bauteut said. “When the Chosen broke that sword, well… we…”

Joan blinked a few times and then cringed. “Oh. Because you couldn’t remember me and then you could, you all thought I’d, oh. Oh dear. Uhhhh, well. Err. So which of the Chosen are with you?”

“Err, about that,” Bauteut said softly, her eyes shifting away from her. “Joan. We thought you were dead. We’ve been… well…”

“Well?” Joan asked.

“Korgron figured out how to break the spell,” Bauteut said. “She managed it, with all of the Chosen.”

“Oh, yeah, Chase was found too,” Joan said. “I actually need to talk with him. I really need to know how all of this happened. Where are they?”

“That’s just it,” Bauteut said softly. “They aren’t here. They don’t know. Well, they might by now.”

Joan went still, though she could hear other hoofsteps approaching. “They don’t? Why? What happened?”

“Everything you did is gone,” Bauteut said. “Your tome? It’s empty. All of your notes, all of them are gone. It was like everything was wiped clean. We’ve been frantically trying to piece together what we could. The Chosen have been reaching out to whatever they could, I’ve been helping the Queen go through old tomes, Zorn and Thalgren returned to the dwarf lands, Myrin went to the elf lands, Korgron went home. Everyone has been looking all over to find something that could lead us to the end of this. Then we got this message that you were alive and we just couldn’t believe it. We thought it was a trick or, or something.”

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“Well, it’s or something,” Joan said with a shrug. “I’m sorry to disappoint yo--” The words were knocked out of her mouth with a sudden slap.

“Don’t you DARE say that!” Bauteut screamed, the tears flowing down her face again.

Joan stared up at her, her cheeks aching from the slap.

“You died! Do you understand that?” Bauteut asked. “To all of us, you died. We thought you were gone. We thought you had died. Korgron can’t forgive herself, apparently she had some plan, but she thought it killed you. The rest of the Chosen aren’t… they aren’t okay either. Nobody is. You stupid, selfish, idiotic child. How could you do this to us?”

Joan stared up at her and, very slowly, the smile fell off her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know this would happen. But I’m okay. I just need the Chosen and we can fix all of this. Where are they?”

“You’ll need to come with us to the castle,” Bauteut said, staring at her. “This isn’t a trick, is it? You’re really you?”

“I’m really me,” Joan said. “I uhhh… I don’t know how to prove it, though. But I’m me. All of me. It’s almost done, though. I think I might have, maybe, got through to Penthe. I’ve just got to rescue Arta, deal with the spiders, help the Chosen kill the--”

“Seriously?!” Bauteut yelled, lifting a hand as if to slap her again, only to stop herself. “Is there anything else? As far as we knew you were dead! Can you just take a few minutes to relax and not try to save the world for ten seconds?”

“No,” Joan said. “I really can’t. You’ve met me. Do you REALLY think I’d let a thing like almost dying and being wiped from existence stop me?”

Bauteut stared at her for a few moments before, very softly, she gave the most exhausted sigh. “No. Fine. Anything else you want to dump on me now?”

Joan stared at her and then sighed. Well, honestly after everything else it felt kind of small, so why not get it out while it still felt small? “Why not? I’ve got a bit of a crush on you and Searle and Qakog.”

Bauteut just stared at her for a few moments before she just lowered her forehead and pressed it against her shoulder. “I’m so tired.”

“Me too,” Joan said. “Also, I smell terrible.”

“So, so tired,” Bauteut said.

“But alive, right?” Joan asked. “That has to count for something.”

“Let’s just get you back to the castle,” Bauteut said. “How are you even here?”

“You mean the keep?” Joan asked. “I’ve been trying to find Hardwin’s keep but I think I got lost.”

“We noticed,” Bauteut said. “We’ve been trying to follow your trail, but--”

“You didn’t make it easy,” Emeline said.

Joan shrieked and all but dived behind Bauteut, turning to stare at the queen.

Emiline stared down at her for a few moments before, very slowly, she climbed down from the saddle. Joan moved a little closer to Bauteut and gave a soft whimper.

“It’s okay,” Bauteut said. “She won’t bite.”

“Easy for you to say,” Joan said softly.

“Joan,” Emeline said before shaking her head. “Are you sure it’s her?”

“If she’s not, she’s an amazing copy,” Bauteut said.

“Copy?” Joan asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Bauteut said.

“I’m going to worry,” Joan said.

“Her head?” Emeline asked.

“Better,” Bauteut said.

“Good,” Emeline said before looking back to Joan once more. She walked forward, but stopped after a few feet. “Joan, I… no. Joan, you see, we… no. I wish… no, that’s not right either. Bauteut could you give us some… no.”

Joan gulped and felt her stomach sinking into her stomach. “So you said the Chosen don’t know where I am?”

“Please don’t say it like that,” Emeline said before sighing and slowly crossing her arms over her chest. “Joan, I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Joan said. “So, err, away from here?”

“No, Joan,” Emeline said before shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. For everything. When you died, when we thought you had died, I realized how wrong I had been.”

“What?” Joan asked.

“Everything I had thought about you, about the Hero,” Emeline said. “I have spent so, so long thinking about the Hero and what destruction he would bring. I had lived so long fearing his arrival, that I had never considered what else might have happened. Why he’d done the things he had done. Even if the Hero had been responsible for many terrible things, I had no way of knowing if those things were justified. I allowed my own fears to get in the way of what I should have done. For all I know, I am partially responsible for all of those failures in your past lives.”

Joan blinked a few times, staring at the queen. Of all the responses she’d expected, this was not one of them. “I… I don’t quite get what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying I am sorry,” Emeline said. “I am saying I am so, so sorry. I have done a terrible thing to you. Again and again. When I should have offered you my support, I offered you nothing but rejection.”

Joan felt a small pinch of guilt flow through her. “I mean, maybe. But you did save my life.”

“And you, apparently, have saved mine,” Emeline said before walking forward and kneeling down in front of her. “Joan, I cannot apologize enough for what I have done. For my mistrust, my doubts. Despite everything you have done, despite nearly dying again and again you have done nothing but push yourself even further, tried ever harder to save this world. Burned everything you are, have and can be, all in a desperate struggle. Yet I did nothing but make you afraid of me. What I have done was so, so terribly wrong and I wish for you to know I will never make this mistake again. When I thought you had perished it all became so clear just how terrible I had been. I thank the gods that I have been given this chance to tell you. If you ever desire to return to the castle, know you will always be welcome.” Emeline said before slowly getting to her feet.

Joan’s cheeks turned a little red and she couldn’t help feel that guilt only growing. “Well, I mean. I guess? I didn’t really do much, though. I didn’t even realize Lord Palkin was trying to assassinate you and I’m pretty sure--”

“Wait, what did you just say?” Emeline asked.

“That I didn’t realize who was--”

“Did you say Lord Palkin?” Emeline asked.

“Yes,” Joan said. “Didn’t they say that in the message I sent?”

“Joan,” Bauteut said. “Lord Palkin helped organize this search for you. If he’s a threat, we need to go. Now. Before he catches up to us and--”

“It’s a little late for that,” Palkin’s voice carried out through the trees. Joan looked up to see him riding slowly towards them, Ywain on his left.

Half a dozen other riders moving in around them.

“Now then, since I finally have both of you,” Palkin said. “I think it’s time we put this charade to an end, don’t you? I really must thank you, Joan. I’ve been trying for so long for this opportunity and yet, here we are. Having the perfect chance dropped right into my lap from a child.”

Joan gave a soft sigh before her hand moved down to the hilt of her sword. Of course. Nothing could ever just be easy, could it?