M~
I owe you. I know the risks you took getting us those supplies, and Iâll make it right when I can.
It was Alessa who sold us out. She was working for the Marlins all along.
No sooner had we risked our lives harvesting the corialis, they were on us. It was an ambush, too clean to be coincidence. She led us straight into it.
They didnât bother raiding the whole ship, Marlins donât have much use for dried goods. Just took the corialis and vanished.
We were lucky, really, to have any food left. The way back was a damn assault.
You name it, we ran into it. Sirens. Whirlpools. Something with tentacles that nearly tore the rigging apart. We walked straight into every haunted trap the sea has ever carved out.
I suspect the Marlins wanted the corialis for themselves, but if you catch wind of a sudden influx in the market, keep your ears sharp. We were carrying six hundred pounds of the purest stuff. Violet-sea grade.
I never wouldâve taken a run that forced us through waters like that if the climate werenât shifting. Ideally, I wouldnât be relying on inside information from you either. Sure, it helps us avoid the ships with mercenaries and cannons, but it paints a bright target on your back. I donât like putting you in that kind of risk.
The crewâs been through hell. I think the only thing staving off a mutiny is the fact that we survived the impossible ten times over. Makes them feel like the gods are on our side, coming out of an ordeal like that mostly whole. Still, Iâm indulging every last fantasy they throw at me, just to be safe.
They spotted a glint on the cliffs when we passed by Prophetâs today. The whole lot were convinced it was the Molten Heart. I went to check it out myself. It was nothing, of course.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Iâve been hearing rumors about a resistance forming in the belly of the capital. You know itâs not like me to take that kind of talk seriously. Thereâs always someone claiming a Reckoning is coming, and none of them ever have what it takes to make anything happen. But this time, itâs not them Iâm listening to. Itâs my gut. The way things are⦠it feels brittle. Like one heavy footfall and the whole damn world might crack open.
Youâve said it too, that something real is rising in Thelos, and I want eyes on it. Your eyes. Youâve always been good at slipping into places you donât belong. And youâve done well selling me secrets.
But letâs not pretend like this could change everything. Like thereâs a world where Iâm not a pirate, where youâre not owned by fear, where we donât have to sell off parts of ourselves just to survive. You say I wouldnât need to run anymore. That I could live free. But M, freedom and peace are not the same thing. Iâve tasted freedom and itâs jagged. It cuts. It costs.
Now. About the thing you keep asking. Iâve ignored your pleas, hoping silence would speak louder than words. You want to know if Iâll take you back? No. I wonât do it.
Loving you again would mean forgetting who I had to become just to survive what you did. We donât get to rewrite it, M. You had your chance. The day I handed you his bloodied ring and said, Itâs over. Itâs only us now. That was your moment to burn the deed with my name on it. To set me free.
And if I hadnât been so blinded by needing to be loved by you, I mightâve seen the truth. I mightâve asked for the papers, and I wouldâve learned everything I know now.
Iâll always be the girl your husband bought. The woman who killed him. The half-mad, half-wild thing you claimed to love. But I became someone else after you sold me, M. You know that.
The price you took for me made me a legend. Maybe that was your gift to me. Or maybe it was just the cage you locked yourself in.
I would have done anything to let you stay in that godsdamned estate for another year, thatâs all my life bought you after all wasnât it? And still, you chose fear. You werenât all bad. You were just too soft for the fire.
We have our arrangement, and it works. You keep your ears open and your pretty pen moving. I keep the coin flowing and the fleet alive. Itâs cleaner that way.
And if you must know whether I miss you, I do.
~R