Marked: Chapter 33

“You had to choose.” My tears soak my shirt. “And you let me believe all these years you chose me to survive.”

“Yeah. I did.” She nods. “Because how could I have told you differently?”

Silence stretches between us. I was never angry with her for choosing before. I knew she had no choice.

Was I mad now because it was me she chose instead of Quinn? How unfair is that?

“Harley.” She scoots closer. “Harley, Quinn was so injured, she wasn’t going to live, even if we got to the hospital that minute. I saw what they did to her, honey. They hurt her so badly, there were so much internal injuries and blood loss. Baby, you didn’t see all the blood.” She sniffles.

“She was going to die anyway, but you still picked me to die too?” How much pain can the heart take before it just stops?

“What they did to you and Quinn. The trauma. I…” She leans back in her chair, tired and pained. “They’d hurt you so much, too. I thought…I thought we would all be better off dead.”

I stare at her a long moment.

“I wasn’t going to survive losing either of you, I figured if they didn’t kill me, I’d handle it myself.” She looks to Zack. “You think I’m a monster.”

Zack stays somber, silent.

“But you told Laurens about my memory returning. She tried to kill me, Mom.”

“I know.” She nods. “I…was scared. Jimmy was still making threats after all these years.”

“The pension,” Zack pipes up.

“Yes,” she explains. “He said if I didn’t help him with some money issue, he’d find Harley and finish what he started. I didn’t understand what he wanted from me, so when those pension papers came, I showed Harley. Only, after she left that night, I understood. They would deposit the money into my account and then they’d withdraw it.”

I lean back in my chair.

“Honey, do you understand? Do you believe me?”

I stare at her, exhausted and sick.

“I don’t know.”

“I swear, baby, I swear I didn’t choose you because I didn’t love you,” she sobs.

“When I started to remember, you should have come clean about everything.” I get to my feet.

She wipes her face. “Does she know you remembered everything?” she asks me.

“Laurens?” I ask. “Yeah, she knew. Right before I killed her.”

Mom blanches. “Harley.”

“Arthur, Jimmy, Vince, all of them are gone, Mom. No one’s left that can hurt you now.”

“Harley.” She reaches for me, but I pull away.

“I can’t,” I whisper, moving to Zack.

“You need me?” he asks, keeping his eyes on my mother.

“No.” I shake my head. “I think we’re done here.” I get the glass of wine Zack poured earlier and gulp it down. “We can go.”

“Harley. Please.”

“No.” I stop her from touching me. “I don’t want to believe that you’re a monster. I know you’re not like them, but I don’t know who you are, really. I can’t pick everything apart to find the full truth here.”

I grab Zack’s hand.

“I’m done with this,” I say and walk out of the kitchen.

Zack follows me through the living room and out the front door.

We walk down the steps, past the rose garden, to his car.

I climb into the passenger seat and wait for him to get in the driver’s side.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he turns the car on.

I grip my knees. “She had horrible decisions forced on her. She has to live every day remembering what she did, her part in all of this. And at the end of it, I grew up knowing she loved me. That’s the truth I know. It’s what I’m going to hold onto.”

“Truth is truth, Harley. You don’t have to choose to believe it, there is no choice.”

“I have you.” I look to him. “That’s another truth.”

He softens. “Yes. You do, little bird. You have me. Forever.”

“All right, then.” I smile. “Let’s fly away. Together.”