Ruhi:
I appreciate that Ekansh put me first today and stayed with me by cancelling his date with Anthra. I even appreciated that he cared about me.
But what about tomorrow?
What if he ignores me again: Jaise ki humari koi mol hi nahi hai unki zindagi mei.
As if I have no value in his life.
That's why, I asked him to finalize things ASAP. "When are you divorcing me?"
He did nothing but stare in shock, surprise, and something elseâwhich he shouldn'tâyes, he shouldn't feel hurt.
Is rishte ki koi buniyad nahi hai na koi wajood. Hum dono do panchiyon ki tarah sirf hawa mei ud rahe hai, jiski koi manzil nahi.
There is no vitality or existence in this relationship, and we are drifting like two birds with no destination.
"Apko bhut jaldi hai humse chutkara pane,"
"You seem to be in haste to get rid of me?" he questioned otherwise.
"It's better for both of us... I mean for three of us. I feel bad that instead of knowing you love someone else, I married you. Maybe if I tried to speak with Dadu, he would have understood it. He would have been angry but knowing that his children's happiness lies in someone else, he could have understood it sooner or later."
I thought this wedding wouldn't affect me. I will mind my job but know things have changed. I... I started to love him which I can't say to him.
He will never leave the girl he was in love with for 3 years for a relationship of 10 days and that's me.
"Can you be without me?" I perceived a drop of rain falling on me
I don't know why did he ask me that. And from where this question came?
Agar Dil se jawab Dena chahun toh, hum shayad Tut jaynge apke bine, Ekansh.
Maybe I will be shattered into pieces, Ekansh.
But I acted most weirdly. I laughed at him. "You are saying as if we have been together for years. Come on Ekansh, I am not a love-sick girl."
He caught my wrist gently and made me stare at him. "Phir de denge bhut jald."
"Then, I will divorce you very soon!"He muttered against my face and he sounded angry again.
"What do you want?" I asked before I could seize my mouth.
"I feel my opinion doesn't matter anymore, as we settled the things. I will contact a lawyer then." I nodded my head but stared at him and he stared at me back. He was furious which can easily seen in his eyes.
"Ok then. We will release each other from this wedding." I whispered.
"Yes. Let's release us."
"Then you can move on with your girlfriend."
"Thanks for the favour, Ruhi Kaur." I chewed my inner cheek. We continued staring at each other.
Aise lag raha hai ki dono ke Dil mei kuch aur hai aur zuban kuch aur bol Rahi hai.
It seems like there is something else in our hearts, and our words are saying something different.
We were so engrossed in gazing at each other that neither of us realized that we were drenched in the rain. He stared at my burned hand. Grabbing the same wrist carefully, he announced, "Let's go!"
I walked beside him. Once again he made me sit in the car's passenger seat and fasten the seat belt. His proximity was sending a chill down my spine.
After he settled on the driver seat, he put on the heater in the car. We reached home and I realised that it's the first time since our wedding that we had our dinner together.
I went to my room. Took out my night dress to wear and get rid of the wet clothes. But with only one hand, I can't do it.
So, I went back to the ground floor for Gurpreet. When I walked inside the kitchen, I halted to find Ekansh filling a water bottle.
"Do you need anything?" He asked and gave me a once-over. My wet clothes were glued to my body, as a second skin.
"I want Gurpreet's help to change my clothes," I answered.
"She is sleeping..."
"Oh!" I exclaimed, feeling worried about my appearance.
"If you have no problem I can help you..." I opened my mouth to protest but he added immediately, "I will close my eyes."
I nodded when I interpreted that I had no other option.
We went to my room. He locked the door and offed the lights.
"What are you doing?" I asked with a loud voice which came out of fear and I whirled to stare at him.
"Relax, Ruhi. I am concerned only about your privacy," he explained and I didn't see his face clearly, I realized what he wanted to explain.
Though, it was dark the moonlight was gradually illuminating the room.
He walked near me and stood in front of me. I could feel his intense gaze and it already started to burn my skin. "Tell me, what should I do first?" He questioned. I turned around, moving my hair to my right shoulder, I exposed my back to him.
"Pull my zip down." He moved closer. "And yes, close your eyes."
He chuckled. "I know, Ruhi." He teased me and pulled the zip down. "Now?" He whispered against my ear, his lips touched the ridges of my ear. I tilted my head a little and confirmed that his eyes were closed or not.
"Now pull the dress off of my shoulders." He pulled it and I shivered with the sudden sensation of his hot breath on my skin. "Please be careful with my injured hand," I stammered with a request.
"I will remove, the right-hand sleeve, first."
"Ok." Whenever his hands were touching my skin, I felt goosebumps in my body.
After he pulled my right hand, he slowly caught my left hand's wrist. "Careful!"
"I know stop scaring me."
He slightly moved the sleeve near my wrist. "Ruhi, help me. Lift your left hand by holding it with your right."
I caught the sleeve with my right and pulled it down. Though we were careful I hurt my left hand while pulling my sleeve out and winced. "Ahh..."
"Shit, did I do some... Holy goodness!" He exclaimed, interrupting his words. I tilt my head at him and momentarily, I find now staring at my chest, I cover his eyes with my right hand.
"Lights are off, I didn't see anything," He was lying. I can even decipher his voice. Even though my breasts were shielded with the bra, the moon's brightness dominating inside the room was enough to show enough of my skin.
"Don't lie. I... I heard you... Go now, I will do it myself."
"You can't manage alone!" He argued.
"I said, get out Ekansh!" I demanded, feeling frustrated with him.
"Ok. I will wait in the corner, if you need my help call me."
He moved back with closed eyes and then walked to the corner and turned away from me. I removed my bra and pulled into a baggy half-sleeve t-shirt. I carefully pulled the right sleeve but for the left, I had no idea how to wear it.
"Are you done?" He asked with a calm tone.
"No!" I muttered and stared at his back.
"Hmm... do you need my help?" he probed. I stayed silent. He sighed, "Let me help you, Ruhi!"
"OK!" he approached me and stood in front of me. His eyes were closed and I took in his features for a moment. All of a sudden, I found him to look like the most handsome man in the universe.
"I have to see, what it looks like... I mean sleeves."
"No!" I declared and covered my left breast with my right hand.
"Fine. If I close my eyes, I may injure you."
"Still, No!" I said now, annoying him.
"Tarki nahi hai hum, Ruhi(I am not a characterless man, Ruhi).And my concern is not to injure your hand further!"
"Don't look at my breast, then," I warned him.
"I will draw the sleeve opening apart, you will slip your hand inside carefully," he instructed and I followed him. "Be careful." After I was done, he pulled the t-shirt down. It reached till my mid-thigh.
I already put on my night pants.
"Can I open my eyes, now?" He asked.
"You can!"
after he opened his eyes, he gave a small smile. "Then, I will take my leave."
"Ok."
He took a couple of steps away from me but soon spun and asked, "You sure, you can manage alone? I mean Sajjan Dadaji and even Maa told me to take care of you. If anything happens to you, they will catch my collar and kill me." I giggled.
"Okay."
"I will sleep on the couch."Â I gazed at the couch and then back at him.
"I don't think you can fit on it." As it's half of his length.
"I will sleep on the floor then."
I agreed with him. I slept on the bed, he placed a pillow on my left and made me place my left hand on it. But the idea of him, sleeping on the floor wasn't too alluring. While he was settling on the floor, "Ekansh sleep on the bed," I announced. He seemed to be surprised by my words but didn't speak anything and lay down silently on the other side of the bed.
I had pain. But seems like it was the decision of fate. Otherwise, we wouldn't have spent the night together or slept for the first time since the wedding on the same bed.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on my sleep instead of thinking about the man sleeping beside me. But I perceived him to turn around and face me. After a few minutes, I felt him blow air on my hand. He even touched the tips of my fingers.
It might be just for an instant and even for the first time but a thought came to my mind: why should I leave him? Why can't Anthra back off? Ekansh is married to me. I have more rights to him than her. Our relationship is legal while her's with my husband is illegal.
Just then I made a decision that I would try for my marriage to be successful. I will not let her come between us.