Ruhi:
My heart ached horribly. My heart was screaming his presence near me but I didn't expect him to really appear there. How did he know that I would visit Gurudwara today?
Or did he come with her?
Whatever the reason is, I didn't want to see his face.
Wiping my tears with both hands, I ran away from him. But when I saw his shoes beside my sandals and his car behind mine, I guessed him to follow me.
But why?
I felt his presence behind me once again, it was the same feeling that I had in the library last evening and this morning since I entered the Gurudwara.
Why was he following me?
I inhaled deeply, pulled open my car door and sat inside. I stared at the steering wheel which appeared blurred.
Anthra's words from the club night bruised my heart.
He slept with her. They were having an affair behind me. Did I make any mistakes in my love, or was he unfaithful? He is no different from my father.
Feeling his eyes on me, I drove away.
Surprisingly, my mobile vibrated with a call from my Dadu. Instantly a big smile appeared on my face, I parked my car at the curb and attended it.
"Dadu!" I said and soon my eyes filled with tears. Those were the: Tears of happiness. Tears of sadness. Tears of regret.
"Ladoo Rani!" That one name gave serenity to my heart, soul and brain. "Apse milna ka Mann ho raha hai." (I wish to see you.)
That was the first time my dadu said that since I left him for studies. And it was enough to break all rules and regulations and run to him.
"I am... I am coming, Dadu!" I informed him and cut the call. Wiping my tears, I took a U-turn, making my way to the airport. I had only my wallet and mobile. After I parked my car in the parking lot of the airport, I took those two things and barrelled inside the airport.
I approached the counter and asked for the next available flight to Ludhiana. There was one within 2 hours and only a ticket for the first class was available. I bought it and made myself ready to fly.
Meanwhile, I called Saniya and informed her that I was going to Ludhiana.
"When will you return?" She inquired.
I thought for a moment before responding, "A day or two," I added.
For the next two hours, I couldn't control my happiness to see him. He was upset with me. He left with anger. Then how come he made a call to me and demanded to see me?
The anticipation of something negative rushed the adrenaline in my body. I wish him to be stable.
I have no one in my life except him, who loves me without any reason.
That one hour on the flight passed like a decade. The air hostess offered me snacks and juice. I didn't feel like eating anything. I just had a glass of orange juice.
I was in a hurry to get out of the Ludhiana airport as soon as the plane landed in the airport.
I took a taxi to reach the manor. After I reached it, I ran inside. There was a strange type of silence in the house. The maids greeted me. I ignored everyone and strolled up the staircase then to my Dadu's room.
"Dadu!" I yelled, stepping inside the room. But I was surprised to see everyone in his room, surrounding his bed. And dadu was sleeping on the bed.
"Dadu!" I whispered, ambling towards his bed. My heart was racing, and my lungs searched for oxygen.
"Ruhi," Ekansh's maa approached me. I smiled at her and hugged her. "How are you?"
"I am good, maa!" I responded to her. "But what you all are doing here?" I glanced at everyone.
Except for Ekansh, everyone was present in the room.
"Actually, Ruhi..." Tauji began but Dadu interrupted him, "...I had low B.p. and everyone was worried and came to visit me. Unnecessarily, they highlighted the things..." he laughed. I smiled at him. I could feel something was wrong but my heart was not letting me accept it. "leave everyone, I want to spend time with my Ladoo Rani," He announced.
One by one everyone left his room. "Ladoo, ajao dadu ke pas!" I barrelled to his bed and sat beside his head, leaning against the headboard. I took his hand in mine. He was cold. His whole skin appeared pale. "How did you manage to come this early?" (Come to your Dadu!)
"I took the next available flight." I played with his fingers as I felt anxious about the incidents that took place between us. "Dadu, are you still upset with me?"
"Apne jhut kyun bola, Ruhi?" I bit my lip and stared at his hand. "Pyar karthi ho aap Ekansh se?" (Why did you lie, Ruhi? Do you love Ekansh?)
Shaking my head, "I don't want to discuss anything about him," I mumbled, my eyes brimmed up.
"He called me and confessed everything. He tried to protect you it seems..."
I shook my head, once again. "Did you eat anything, dadu?" But Dadu's words were pushing me into suspense. Protect me from whom?
He laughed. "Naraz ho, Ekansh see?"(Are you upset with Ekansh?)
I stared at him. "Unse na narazgi hai, na dillagi. Humne unhe riha kardiya dadu. Ab unse humara koi rista nahi hai. Aur bhatke hue insaan se kaunsi ummid rake hum. Wo apni zindagi mei kush hai." (Neither I am upset with him nor do I love him. There is nothing left between us. And what should I expect from an aimless man? He is happy in his life.)
"Aur aap kush ho?"(Are you happy?)
"Hum hai na kush, apke sath. Yeh toh apki zid thi warna na hum medicine padne ke liye apko chod kar jathe the na, us insaan se shadi karke, yeh ghar." (Yes, with you Dadu. You forced me to go and study in Delhi. Otherwise I was happy to live with you forever.)
I expressed and wiped my tears. "Now tell me, how's harvesting going on?"
"It's going excellent. Ladoo, tell me some jokes."
I laughed. "Jokes... Dadu..." I thought for a moment. "Haan. Did I tell you that I have made four friends at my new University?"
"No. You didn't."
I recalled Avinash. "Dadu, I have one friend, his name is Avinash, he is so hefty and chubby. He doesn't get satisfied with one plate of rice. He even eats my food..." I babbled continuously about him and other friends too.
"Ladoo, if you recall... When we went to your admission for kindergarten."
My eyes widened and I shook my head, "Dadu. Not that."
But he shared that anyhow, "You cried when the school teacher asked you to write apple spelling." I facepalmed with one hand as my other was holding dadu's hand.
"And when you were crying to go to school?" He laughed, sharing all my stupid old memories. I hide myself in one of the crop bags. And the workers delivered me out of Punjab. But the seller of the shop was nice, he let me stay in his house until my dadu came to take me.
"Dadu, this is not fair."
"And you were so healthy... Sometimes I used to have a problem buckling your skirt."
"Dadu!" I warned. He laughed and laughed. But suddenly his laugh turned into coughs.
He coughed and coughed. I rubbed his chest. "No jokes, anymore. Close your eyes and sleep silently now!" I demanded.
He stared at me. And just kept staring at me. And slowly he closed his eyes and went silent. So silent that not only his laugh but also the movement in the whole body.
"Dadu!" I shook his body. But he didn't respond.
"Dadu!"
"DADU!" I screamed out.
Tauji, my two cousin brothers rushed inside the room. Akriti di came too. "Dadu!" I called again.
"Ruhi!" She caught my shoulders from behind.
I pulled away. "Dadu! I joked to sleep silently. Wake up! There are so many jokes, I want to share with you."
"Ruhi!" Tauji caught my hand. "Your Dadu is...is no more."
I laughed. "Mazak bahut acha karthe ho aap Tauji.."(Your jokes seem hilarious too.)
"Ruhi beta," Maa arrived too. "It's true!" She mentioned.
"Everyone leave!" I demanded. "He slept. Don't disturb him. And I will sleep with him too."
"Ruhi!" Akriti di shook my body. "Dadaji is no more." She informed.
"Huff!" I huffed. "You all gone mad." Shaking my head, I rest my head on the headboard of the bed. I didn't leave his hand. "We will sleep. We got tired."
"Ruhi!" Maa called.
"Ruhi. Ruhi. Ruhi. Yes. I am listening!" I acknowledged, glancing at everyone. "And what's wrong with you all? Everyone did cut onions today," I assumed as everyone was shedding tears. "Dadu. You take rest. I will sit here and wait for you. Then I have to share about my other friends too."
"We have to prepare Dadaji for cremation," the moment I heard Iklav Jiju saying that I glared at him.
"Mazak kuch hadh thak ache lagte, Jiju. Aur sab log nikaliye yahan see."(There should be some limits in jests too, brother-in-law. And leave the room everyone.)
"Ruhi! Ab bas!" Akriti di pulled my hand and I lost Dadu's grip. She cupped my cheeks. "Sab insaan ka waqt atha hai duniya chod kar Jane ka. Aaj dadaji ka aya hai." (Everyone has to leave the world. And today, Dadu left us all.)
I closed my eyes and flared my nares. "Dadu is sleeping, Akriti di!" I replied to her with a clenched jaw. "That's it." I pushed her hands away and slept beside Dadu. "Please leave the room and off the lights," I said and closed my eyes.
They switched the lights off and left the room. Meanwhile, I patted his chest. "I like hearing your lullabies, dadu. Will you sing one for me, Dadu!" I said and waited for his response. When no response came, "ok. You might be too tired. It's ok, sing me one tomorrow. And we will go for our morning walk and do laughing exercise too."
I kept sharing random things with him. And slowly drifted into sleep, humming the lyrics of a lullaby, my Dadu used to sing for me.
Maybe it was a dream but, I heard a few whispers from my cousins. "What will we say to Ruhi?"
Because of exhaustion, I couldn't open my eyes.
"She will not let us take him away if we wake her up," it was from Akriti di.
"She is in shock now, but she will understand once she wakes up," my elder cousin added.
"What if, she... I mean she couldn't come out of the depression?"
I felt as if someone was taking Dadu away. So, I held his hand tightly.
***
"Ruhi!" I heard Akriti Di's voice. "Ruhi, wake up!" I opened my eyes and stared at her. After a long moment of staring, I realised that her eyes were red and swollen.
"Didn't you sleep properly? Why are your eyes red? Hmm... Maybe your cutie pie didn't let you sleep. After I drink chai with Dadu, I will take care of him," I rambled. Then I stared to my left. "Hash! He didn't wake me up and went for a walk without me. He always does this. Why does he care about me so much? If I didn't sleep for one night nothing would have happened to me. But can you ask someone to get chai and today's newspaper?" I said, sitting up. "We both will read the newspaper together and have tea."
"Ruhi," she said and sat in front of me. "Dadu was suffering from the final stage of blood cancer. And last night he... He took his last breath. He is no more."
I glanced at the door and tilted a little, "he will come back from a walk, Until he comes, I will sit here. Then I will scold him. Why does he do this every time? Achi se dand lagayenge unki ab."
"You are not understanding, Ruhi!" She pulled me in a hug and sobbed. I sat still, waiting for Dadu to come back. "Dadu left us all. He will never come back."
She didn't know that Dadu would not do anything without informing me. If he left us, he would have informed me. Which means he will come back.
***
Ok. Ok. I need to use a towel to wipe the tears now.
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