Ruhi:
The next two days were hectic with Sangeeth, haldi, mehendi, and finally the wedding.
But the night before the wedding, the last night, as I was resting on my bed, I heard a knock.
Ekansh was standing outside my room. He was swinging, like a pendulum with red eyes. So, it's true, they did hold a secret bachelor party for Ekansh behind our elders.
"Ruhi, my bride," he pulled himself into my room, "you hate me, don't you?" He inquired and strolled over to my bed.
He stumbled but made his way to the bed. "I have no feelings for you. Neither hate nor like. So stop thinking high of yourself," I responded using my signature-only-for-Ekansh arrogance.
"Then leave me alone. Don't separate me from Anthra." He slurred and made himself comfortable on my bed. His head rested on the pillow, which was wet from my wet hair and even my tears. His hands were flying in the air, probably looking for a comforter.
I felt sorry for him. I can do nothing. Like him, I don't like to go against my dadu. I have never gone against him. Even though we have our family business, he wanted me to become a doctor. I obeyed his decision and studied medicine. His decision to my wedding with Ekansh and I agreed with him. He jabbered with slurry speech, "We are over. Anthra and Ekansh are over..." I left my fake arrogant attitude and approached him to talk to him, but stopped right in my place when I heard his voice, "Our marriage was decided because of your birth. I wish you had never been born. I felt a deep stab in my heart. His every word scarred the layers of my heart.
And the words my father spat on me on my 6th birthday replayed in my head. I didn't want you. I wish you were never born.
A single tear escaped from my eye. I glanced at myself in the mirror. Am I that worthless, Waheguru ji? Big fat tears streamed down my eyes. I didn't cry anymore but felt like killing Ekansh. And for the first time, I hated him genuinely.
I called Akriti Di and informed her about Ekansh. Iklav Jiju arrived in my room. he was drunk too but as much as Ekansh. "He can't stop himself seeing you." I forced a smile and lowered my head.
.
.
Still, here I am dressed in light pink bridal wear, waiting on mandap for him.
Today I am making this sacrifice only for my Dadu's happiness. The smile on his face is indescribable. My wedding with Ekansh was his only dream.
But I will never let Ekansh live peacefully, I took my silent vow, when we started our Pheeras.
I will make his life a living hell.
He will regret his life.
Like every girl, I cried my heart out, by hugging Dadu during my Bidai. Maa, Ekansh's mother asked Ekansh to hold me. That was when he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards the car. It was decorated with flowers. He made me sit in the back seat. I glanced at my dadu and shook my head. It's over. I am pulled into a new life with new people, even though we are acquainted, it's a responsibility of being a daughter-in-law. My dadu will automatically become my second priority. Why a girl has to go through it?
I hadn't realized when the car had started and when we already passed through the massive gates of the haveli.
Ekansh was beside me. His younger sister, Ekta sat on the passenger seat. The drive was silent at the beginning but later filled with the chattering voices of Ekta. She is a silent person but she tried to keep me entertained so that I don't sob throughout the journey.
Ekansh was a shitty person. He showed no emotions but stayed silent. He only came into action when his mobile vibrated from his sherwani jacket.
I peeked at his mobile screen, and Anthra's name was displayed on the notification bar. A message was written below.
Anthra: Congrats, you are the reason to end my life.
I tilt my head away from him. If he knew, his wedding was fixed with me, he shouldn't have fell in love with anyone. I sympathized a little on his condition till last evening but after he spat those words, I didn't care about him or his lover.
We reached Amritsar, in less than three hours. After the car was pulled inside his mansion's door, a guard came and pulled open his door. Ekansh showed no courtesy to open my door and left me to myself.
"It's new to him, he will soon take your responsibility," Ekta consoled me, while the same guard pulled my door open for me. I smiled at her. Being 18 she is far more mature than her brother.
When he started walking away without me, Ekta called him, "Pra ji, take Ruhi parjai with you."
He sighed and stopped for me. He is the biggest Nakhchida, I had ever seen.
While we walked through the foyer, we stopped in front of the living room entrance. The whole mansion was decorated like a bride. Maa did our Arti and that was followed by Ghar Prawesh rituals.
Ekansh left me with Maa and walked inside his room. Maa brought a tray of milk glasses "Take this to your room. And rest well. Morning you will visit the Gurdwara with Eansh to take Waheguru ji's blessings. Then in the night your reception party in the banquet hall of Razdan Hotel."
"Ok, maa!"
I took the elevator to reach the second floor. Maa accompanied me until I reached the room. Her and Papa Ji's room was beside ours. "If you need anything you can call through the phone in your room or knock on the door. And don't be scared of things. I know you don't have a mother to counsel you about the first night of the wedding but I even know that you are a doctor. So, don't be afraid of the thing, handle it smoothly." It took me a second to apprehend that she was referring to sex. I faked a blush and walked inside the room. It was completely decorated with flowers and the king-size bed was in the center. There's a walk-in closet on the left. And beside it was a door, which I assumed to be the bathroom, cause Ekansh walked out of that room with a towel, drying his face. Our eyes met for a moment and soon we drifted our gazes at a distant point.
He already removed his sherwani jacket and was in the golden undershirt.
"You don't have to do it. Put it over there," he informed referring to the tray. "Take couch." He muttered, making his way to the bed.
"Couch?" I confirmed with bafflement.
"I am not going to sacrifice my bed for you."
He jumped on the bed and pulled the comforter above him by pushing flower petals out of the way. While the flower petals settled everywhere on the floor, I on the other hand was busy watching his actions. I thought he was a gentleman.
"We are not having sex?" I asked.
He pulled the comforter off of his head, giving me the once-over, "That will be the last thing, in my life."
I laughed, annoying him further, "You mean, you will do it on your deathbed." He just glared at me. I shrugged my shoulders.
wetting his lips, "Don't annoy me anymore, and sleep."
"What if," I removed my jewelry and threw it on the bed, "I scream. Saying, Ekansh... Please, not today," I removed another necklace and threw it upon him.
He sat up and questioned with a puzzled face, "What are you up to, Ruhi?"
I smirked. I undid my Ghunghat pins and let it slip on the floor. Now I was only in my blouse, dupatta, and lehenga. "Stop, Ekansh..." I screamed.
He stared terrified at me.
"No..."Â I screamed. I removed all pins of my dupatta and it also slipped on my floor.
We received a knock. "Ruhi!" Maa knocked again and inquired, "What's going on dear," I smirked and waggled my brows at him.
I purposely didn't lock the door. Ekansh jumped out of the bed and approached me. "Stop with your plans." He muttered.
"Ekansh, please not tonight. Don't force..." He grabbed my arm, pulled me towards him, and clamped my mouth with his hand.
Simultaneously, maa pushed open the door. She stared at her son in anger. I pushed Ekansh and ran to her and hugged her. "Maa!" I faked a cry.
"Ruhi!" She pulled me in front and cupped my cheeks.
I shook my head in response. Her eyes fell on the bed and the floor.
"Ekansh, what did you do with her?" She demanded, making her way towards him.
"Mom. I didn't do anything..." Before he could finish a loud slap landed on his cheek. I gasped and gaped at her. I didn't expect that to come. His face tilted to his left and he stared at the floor. I could feel his jaw clench and his gaze raised to glare at me.
I felt bad for him but I dismissed that feeling. He deserves it.
"Kya yeh hai apke Sanskar, Ekansh?" She questioned him.
"Are these your manners, Ekansh."
"I am sorry, maa." He spoke, taking me off-guard.
"Hume nahi, Ruhi ku boliye."
"Apologoize to Ruhi!"
He didn't glance at me but said, "Sorry Ruhi!"
I stared shocked at him. Did he just apologize to me without arguing?
"Mansion is full of relatives and friends, and if you both sleep in separate rooms it will create chaos. Ekansh, sleep on the couch and Ruhi will take the bed. Maybe you are her husband but you will respect her privacy and let her decide when she wants you to touch her."
"Ok. Maa!" He agreed, once again without any argument.
After she left, he went to lock the door. Then he took a comforter and moved back to the couch.
After gathering my jewelry and dupatta, I moved to the bed. I recalled the stupid play I directed and felt disappointed in myself. I am not the type of girl to hurt others without any reason. Moreover, he is my husband, if dadu knows about it, he will be disappointed with me. "Ekansh!" I mumbled.
"Hum sab sunna chahre lekin apki ghatiya awaz toh bilkul bhi nahi."
"I want to hear anything but not your fucking voice."
"Ghatiya Awaz!" I chuckled with hurt. "Aur apku yaad hai Jo apne kal ek ghatiya bath ki..."
"And do you remember that fucking words you spat on me the other night?"
"Ruhi hum apse kal mile bhi nahi."
"Ruhi, I didn't come across you last night."
"I know you would forget it. You were drunk Ekansh. And you know people usually speak what's in their heart."
Another moment of silence occupied between us. He offed the lights, maybe through an application on his mobile, cause I didn't see him walking to the switch.
I always do it in darkness, to shed tears and cry by missing my mom and even my dad. He was not a great dad but still, he was my dad.
After a long moment, I heard his voice. "What did I say?"
I wiped my tears and gulped. Then I sat up to grab a water bottle from the nightstand. I sipped some water so that he wouldn't know about my hurt.
"You said, I shouldn't have taken birth. I could have said the same, Ekansh. I didn't want this wedding too." I sighed and a tear rolled down my cheek. "But I married you, and that's because I respect my dadu like how you do. You atleast have a family but I only have my dadu. I can't hurt the only person left in my life."
He was silent for a long moment. "I love Anthra, so much " it was little. Just the size of the ant. But I did feel hurt by his confession. "Now that we..." he paused, "... couldn't marry, I took my frustration out on you. I shouldn't have said that and I feel sorry for it. But I want to continue my relationship with her. " Another episode of tears started to roll out of my eyes.
Maybe Dadu is the only one to love me in this world. I have no feelings for Ekansh and it shouldn't matter to me but it's hurting. I placed my hand on my chest and cried in silence.
"is she ready to be with you?" I pried.
"Yes. I know you have no feelings for me and it doesn't matter to you."
"Can you keep this a secret?" He requested.
He was right but why do I have this uncertainty and uneasiness in my heart?
"What will I get in return?" I tried to sound unaffected.
"You can leave your life without my interruption. Slowly we will prove to our families that things are not working between us and we can divorce."
"Okay..." and that word came out of my mouth without the will of my heart.