Ruhi:
I woke up feeling exhausted and didn't feel like getting out of bed when the first rays of sunshine entered the room. But I remembered Maa's words from the previous night and forced myself to open my eyes. The Golden Temple of Amritsar is one of my favorite Gurudwaras, so I was excited as I got ready for the day.
Since there were no signs of Ekansh, I assumed that he had already gotten ready. He had made it clear the previous night that he was not interested in the wedding. I cried, not because he didn't have feelings for me, but because I felt like I would have no one in my life to love me.
I still couldn't decipher why Dadu made it haste for the wedding.
I was never a lovesick but for a few days, I started to miss it. I want someone to take care of me. To check if I had breakfast or not. I want someone to be beside me when I am sick.
Dadu was always with me. He took the roles of being my mother, father, and even grandpa. There are nights I still sleep with him as I miss that someone in my life.
I missed Dadu already, so, I phoned him before leaving the room.
"Ladoo Rani!" He said with enthusiasm, as soon as he answered the call.
"Dadu, I miss you." I curled my lip out and shed a tear. I am still his baby girl.
"I am on my way to Amritsar," He informed. I chirped with happiness. I will have time to spend with him before our reception party.
"Did you have breakfast?" I asked.
"Yes. And you?"
"I just woke up. But Ekansh and I are visiting Gurudwara."
"Oh. I guess, I will arrive to Amritsar before you come back from there."
"Yes, Dadu." I received a knock and Maa stepped inside. "I will cut the call, now. Dadu." I cut the call and walked to her to take her blessings. But she stopped me from touching her feet and pecked on my forehead.
"Are you already missing your Dadu?" she asked, pointing to my phone. I nodded. "I understand, it's not easy, but this is the fate of every woman. When I got married, I was scared to live among new people, but eventually, Ekansh's father showed me love, care, and concern. I started to see the world differently."
But I will never get that, not from Ekansh. He has someone else in his heart. And he already made it clear that I can't replace her.
"I spoke with Ekansh, and he said that last night he did that to tease you." Then she cupped my cheeks and said, "You don't need to fear, Ruhi. Ekansh grew up with good manners."
Hearing that, I felt guilty and lowered my head. It's my turn to reveal the truth, "Maa, actually last nightâ"
"Ruhi," Ekansh stepped inside the room, interrupting me. His eyes fell on me, they wandered from my head to toe. He always does this. And I dunno why? Can it be because of despise?
"Yes!" Maa asked. That's when he diverted his eyes to Maa.
"I came to see, if she is ready or not. If yes then we should start for Gurudwara."
"Yeah, I am ready." I strolled to him.
"Wait you both." Maa interrupted us. She ambled to us and slightly tracing her finger on her lower eyelid, she extracted some Kohl and put the black dot behind my ear.
"Meri Bahu ka khayal rakhna, Ekansh."
"Take care of my daughter-in-law, Ekansh," She ordered.
"Yes, Maa!"
The drive to Gurudwara was in complete silence. We both sat in the back seat, and our heads were tilted towards the windows. Along with the driver, a maid from the mansion accompanied us. Her name was Gurpreet.
Ekansh was receiving messages from his girlfriend. I guessed it by watching the smile curling on his lips.
I had the urge to question more about his girlfriend. Their first encounter? and her profession? But I should interrogate him when we are alone.
We reached the temple around 10 in the morning, as the street was packed with shops, we had to park the car, a few meters away from the entrance. A big smile reserved my lips, while we walked towards the entrance. We both removed our shoes and on the way, we washed our legs in the channel of running water.
"When was the last time, you visited here?" I found myself asking him. At that moment, nothing was able to regulate my excitement.
"A couple of years ago, I visited with Anthra."
"Didn't Maa and Papa ji find it out?"
"She stayed in a hotel." His every conversation starts with Anthra and ends with her.
And once again, I found myself saying, "Anthra is lucky." He just glanced at me and then headed inside the main prayer room .
We knelt and prayed in front of the God. My head was covered with my dupatta and Ekansh covered his head with a white handkerchief.
I only wished my Dadu to be healthy and stay with me forever.
After that, we walked out. Ekansh was ready to leave the temple, but I insisted, "Can we stay a few minutes? Please."
"Okay!"
"Let's sit over there," I addressed, pointing at the steps in front of the lake.
We both sat in silence, watching the small fishes chasing the insects in the water.
"When did you visit last time?" Surprisingly Ekansh spoke, killing the silence this time.
"When I was 8," I replied. Though he knew it, I whispered, "And while returning to Ludhiana, I lost my parents in an accident."
A single tear rolled through my cheek. It was devastating to see my parents dying in front of my eyes. And just before the accident, my dad was arguing with my mom that he didn't want to come to Amritsar but because of me, he had to. It was my birthday and my mom wanted to take me to my favorite gurdwara. Since then I have cursed my life for that incident. I am afraid, of jinxing others' lives because of me.
I pulled myself out of the thoughts when I felt a hand gripping mine. I stared at my lap and found his hands cupping mine. I had no backbone to glance at his face. We just stayed like that for a long moment. There is something between us, which is difficult to define but I felt so calm with his presence.
"Don't you think, this is the first time we sat in peace?" He questioned.
I nodded. But soon our peaceful moment was disturbed by a call. He withdrew his hand from mine and walked away excusing himself.
"Yes, sweetheart." He spoke as he attended the call. That word itself said that the person on call was his girlfriend. Other than that, he was smiling constantly.
Except with Dadu, I didn't laugh wholeheartedly with anyone. I had friends but no one was close to me. You can say that I am scared to get close to anyone.
"You know right, no one can separate us. I love you, Anthra!" I heard him whispering.
I chuckled mentally. Kaisi kismat payi hai humne. Chalo Jane do, jab humari kismat mei sirf tanhai hi likhi ho toh kisi se kya narazgi.
I rested my head on my lap and smiled at the fish. I felt hungry and Ekansh was still busy on mobile. It was already noon and I knew where I could find the Prasad.
Without informing him, I walked to the front area of the gurdwara. Then towards the left side. Only a couple of people stood in line. I stood behind them and waited for my turn. I took the small cup of porridge from the man, who was serving the food to everyone. They usually call it a guru Prasad. It's a type of porridge made of whole wheat flour.
I had the whole porridge in half a second. The taste was still the same. And how many times I tried, I couldn't make it this tasty. The first reason, why I love this gurdwara is because of this.
I had another bowl of porridge too. After I discarded the bowl made of dry leaves, I went to drink the water. On my way, I felt a hand grabbing my arm and spinning me around.
Ekansh appeared angry but his emotions didn't match his next action that's to pull me in a bone-crushing hug.
And guys it did happen. My heart skipped a beat when our chests were pressed against each other. "Where the hell did you go? You stupid girl, you scared me. How could you leave me without informing me?" He rambled.
But when my heart recollected its beat, it beat frantically loud and fast.
He pulled away as if something had hit his head. Was he worried for me?
"I was feeling hungry, so I came to have some Prasad."
He took a step back and babbled as if he was caught stealing something, "Don't do this again. You wasted enough of my energy and time." Then he walked past me. Instead of getting angry at his sudden rude behavior, I smiled as I recalled his concern. Even an illiterate girl can say that it was a genuine concern.
Ekansh:
I was more than scared when I didn't find her on the steps near the lake. When we arrived, the gurdwara was barely filled with people but now, it's packed. Did anyone kidnap her?
Shit, I was so involved that I didn't realize her going anywhere.
I walked inside the praying room, then behind. I wanted to call her but fuck I realized I don't have her phone number. What for a husband I am?
Ruhi!
I walked back to the front area of the gurdwara and asked the people about her. "Did you see a girl of average height? She has a small, round face with long black hair. She wore a long white ethnic dress with a red dupatta. Well, her eyes are mesmerizing with a great amount of innocence." But everyone did one thing: they shook their heads.
Maa, will kill me if anything happens to her.
Suddenly, I saw a similar girl walking past me, unconcerned about the surrounding world, completely involved in her thoughts. Instantly, I caught her hand and spun her in anger but when my eyes fell on her innocent eyes, I had the urge to hug her and I did.
Her calm breaths calmed the uneasiness of my heart.
But when the realization hit me that I love someone else to whom, I just promised that I would make everything back to normal, I pulled away.
"Don't do this again. You wasted enough of my energy and time." I spat at her and walked past her. What was that? Why did I act as if I lost a precious thing?
Maybe I was scared of our families. Yes, I don't have any feelings for her.
We had to park our cars far away, as the neighborhood was full of stores and shops. Driver uncle and Gurpreet were waiting for us, outside the gurdwara.
I kept walking assuming that Ruhi was following me but when I turned she was nowhere.
Before my heart began to race like an athlete, I heard her voice. "Ekansh!" From my left and found her going through jewelry in a street shop.
Patha nahi kis choti bachi se meri shadi kardi Mera ghar walon ne.
I huffed and walked to her.
"What are you doing?" I questioned her and crossed my arms. She is the granddaughter of Sujjan Kaur. She should shop in elegant stores not in a local street shop.
"Look!" She showed me a set of bangles. "I want to buy this?"
She was already wearing a traditional Juda(Bangles) set in both her hands where would she fit them?
"Are they my size?" She pried cutely. Instantly that Tarki shopkeeper, who was in his mid-forties caught her hand and voiced, "I will put them and you will know it."
I dunno what got in me, I pulled Ruhi's hand out of his grip and glared at him. "You are not allowed to touch her!" I declared.
"Ahhmm... Ekansh, it's okay. He does it with everyone," she whispered leaning towards me. Then she pointed at other shopkeepers who were helping other ladies in wearing bangles. All appeared to me as Tarki people.
I shook my head, "Give it to me!" I demanded him. He handed me 5 bangles with a scared face.
"Do you know, how to put bangles?" She asked softly.
Glancing at her, I raised my brow, "I am a doctor, these things should be a cup of tea to me," I addressed with attitude.
"Press my hand gently and push the bangle towards my wrist." Nonetheless, she explained.
It was taking time, a lot more than I apprehended but I didn't let anyone touch her and did it by myself. She is innocent, she doesn't know what goes on in a man's head to let them touch her.
"Parjai, these bangles look so beautiful in your hand," Gurpreet complimented her.
Instead of thanking her, Ruhi replied, astounding me, "Buy yourself one set too!"
She belongs to the royal family and shouldn't wear anything similar to maids. I tried to object but she already paid bills to both of them.
Ruhi grabbed my hand and pulled me to another shop. There she bought a few dupattas. Every dupatta she put over her head and asked my opinion.
Fortunately, every dupatta was looking nice on her. So she ended up buying 6 dupattas. Unexpectedly, every minute felt lively with her. She kept me occupied with her shopping. And she bought the things only after my approval.
Though we were acquainted since her birth, I never hung out with her. She usually kept her to herself. Her cousins and even my siblings used to play games but she never came with us. She was an introvert.
But today she is showing a different image of her to me. When I visited this place with Anthra, she didn't even see these things, saying she doesn't like cheap things. But Ruhi is different, she loves everything.
I saw a pair of anklets, even though I don't prefer buying from small stores, I loved that pair and bought it.
'Ruhi!" I called her. Her eyes turned to me and then to the pair of anklets in my hand.
"For Anthra?" She asked with a blank face.
I shook my head, "For you!" I replied. A broad smile replaced her blank face.
"For me."
"Next time if you sneak away from me, I will hear these Gungru voices and catch you." She giggled hearing my reason. And even her voice seemed to be mesmerizing.
"Then you should put them around her ankles, Pra ji!" Gurpreet commented.
Ruhi shook her head. "No. That's not necessary." She took them from my hands. "I will wear them, later."
But I took that and knelt in front of her. "Place your leg here," I pointed at my knee. She shook her head, "do, as I say, Ruhi!" She bit her lip with abashment and placed it. I put the anklet around her ankle. It looks beautiful.
I gazed up. Her eyes lit up watching the change of her ankle beauty with that anklet. After I put the second one around her, she thanked me and blushed.
That was our last asset to buy.
When we were heading to the car, "I had a reason to pull that stunt," I explained to her. She furrowed her brows in confusion. "The maid my maa sent with us, is her reporter, she will tell her everything we did. This fake act of mine will make Maa happy."
Shaking her head she responded which took me off-guard, "I don't understand you. When you decide to end this relationship, why are you concerned about impressing anyone?" When I didn't reply, "Don't waste your energy, Ekansh. Cause at the end, all things will remain as no value." She sounded sincere. Most importantly, she was true.
I don't have to do this. Instead, I have to act as if this relationship is not working. But the way I was enjoying my time, I got involved in the activity and did those without the acknowledgment of my brain. I need to control my heart before it takes control of me.