Chapter 14: Complications
We had been walking for days. At least that's how it felt like as we traveled the sewers in silence. In reality, we had made it here a few hours beforeâ I had lost the exact count. Yet none of my group seemed to want to stop yet. We had been putting as much distance between us and the manhole we squeezed from, which might have explained why even my good leg wanted to give out.
A couple of minutes more, and Hanz did the honor himself. "Okay, stop," he said, his voice echoing in the chamber.
All three of us stopped and looked at him.
"I'm tired," he said, shining his flashlight on the icky, grimy wall. "And starving. Come on, aren't you guys?"
I scowled at him. Only he would think of food at a time like this. Yet even my stomach growled at the suggestion. When had we eaten last, really?
Neil, who had been perusing the blueprint for the last few hours, folded it to accommodate Hanz's special remark. "I don't think it's time to stop yet," he said. "Audra?"
Audra's gaze went to me. "How's your leg holding up?" she asked. "Pax?"
I tilted my face to the wall, unspeaking.
Okay, that was a really awful answer. It was really bitchy of me. But could they blame me at all? I mean, really?
All I could think about while walking on this God-awful place were my parents, who we've left in the house. My parents who had no idea. My parents who were unsafe. What if something bad had happened to them already? I couldn't live it down.
Hanz took the single backpack he'd managed to salvage and dropped it on the ground, making me wince.
"I think it's safe for now," he said, starting to sit down. "Why?" He shook his head. "Well first, the tracers had no clue that we're down here, don't they? Secondâ" His eyes peered onto the darkness, squinted before turning back to us. "We would have heard anyone following us in the sewers by now, wouldn't we? I mean, it's been hours. The tracers would have been thorough."
He had a point. But Neil harrumphed anyway, tucking the now folded map, which he insisted on holding onto for the rest of the journey, behind his jeans where he thought it would be safe. "So what do we do?" he asked. "Just eat here and what?"
"Sleep," Audra proposed, sitting on the ground as well. "Let's be real, Neil. We can't go on walking forever. Not in this state."
I sat down in agreement. I was too damn tired to take even another step.
Neil, outnumbered, was the last to sit down, glanced at Hanz with mild irritation on his face. "Okay, fine," he groused. "You win. But what food do we have left? If we're being real here, do we even have any?"
All four of us pulled a face, Hanz, being the most obvious. "Err. . ." The guy reached out to the backpack, began to unzip it. The rest of us drew closer, curious. "We have. . . Some canned sausages." He took one out and put it on the floor. "More canned sausages. Some bottled water. . ." He began to dig deeper into the backpack, afterwards, started to groan out loud. "That's basically it. And a couple of batteries for our flashlights. What the hell should we do? Resurface?"
"Most likely," Audra said, the only one who looked calm in all of this.
She was the only one who wasn't fazed when Hanz said that we had only taken one bag with us in our rush too.
"But I will do it." Audra continued. "Come up there, I mean. The rest of you will need to stay here."
"Absolutely not." Neil refused. "It's too dangerous. Remember what I told you?"
Told her what?
I took one good look from one person to the other, but it felt more like an inside thing.
Audra, in any case, folded her arms, simply gave Neil a stare.
Hanz cleared his throat, looking lost as well. "Guys?"
"Fine," Audra said, as if a silent agreement had taken place. "Do it your way, Neil. But if we run out of stocks, you know someone needs to go up and replenish. That needs to be me. Got it?"
Hanz placed down another can of sausage, his face reflecting my reaction, lost in the conversation between friends. "Enough of that," he murmured. "We'll talk about everything after we'd eaten."
As quickly as we'd discussed about the shortage of food, the three of them began distributing what we could eat for now. All of us having the same, unappetizing product.
I was talking about the canned sausages. They were all that we had. Yet I could not bring myself to even stare at them. I mean, how could I even at such circumstances?
Each time I wanted to look at the food or acknowledge my own hunger, a cold draft of wind would blow to our side of the sewer, bringing with it the putrid stench of rotten eggs and the stink of urine. Add to that, the thought of the grime everywhere, and dirty sewage water in the middle of the tunnel, just a few feet from us, were making me sick. There were also drips coming from the ceiling here and there. We were lucky enough to be walking on dry ground on the side.
Hanz, himself, was having his own dilemma. "Guys. . ." He looked disheartened as he raised his can. "Maybe I should eat another time after all."
"Why?" Neil was quick to argue as always. "So you can slow us down? So you can rely on Audra?"
"I'm not trying to rely on Audra." Hanz's face had pinched into a scowl. "I can go up there to restock myself, but. . ." He swallowed, looking disgusted. "I don't eat this, remember? I'm vegan."
"More for me then, I guess." Neil wasn't discreet at all when he grabbed Hanz's can and started gorging on its contents. "You'll die down here if you're that picky. Same with you, Leighton." I glared at him. "Continue getting that weak stomach in your own way, and soon natural selection will take its place."
Audra set her sausage can down too, leaned her head against the mucky wall. "Maybe we should just go to sleep," she murmured. "This had been a pretty long day."
I didn't know how I managed to do it, but somehow after all that had happened, I found myself sleeping like a logâ I knew because from sleeping one moment, I was awoken suddenly. Harshly. Someone tugging at my arm as if there was an emergency.
Opening my eyes, all was dark and blurry, until someone pointed a flashlight at my face.
Immediately, I knew who it was.
"Neil?" I said, my voice strangely weak. Everything about me was sore. Especially my leg. Sleeping on the floor just barely a few feet from the sewage water didn't help my case.
Neil's face leaned closer to mine. "Come with me, Leighton. Bathroom break."
My eyes snapped wide open. Bathroom break? What?
Glancing at both Audra and Hanz, I found the two of them still asleep. Maybe I was still dreaming too, yet the insistent tug on my arm felt really freaking real. So much so, that I found myself getting on my feet, using the crutches as leverage, yet the throbbing on my leg almost brought me straight back down.
"Easy," Neil whispered, moving a step back. "We don't want the others waking up, do we?"
"What are we going to do?" I said.
"Like I said, bathroom break." Neil pointed to a wall that was bending out of eyes reach. "Why, Leighton? Scared?"
No. Of course not.
Oddly enough, the scared part of me had been over and done with since we left my parents house and skittered into the night. I was numb, sure, right after then. But scared?
I looked onto Neil's eyes. Now, I was just tired and just wanted to get this out of the freaking way. Maybe he did really want to take a bathroom breakâ I was delusional enough to think that. But what I wasn't stupid enough was to dismiss the malice in his eyes, all ready to break me. And maybe I was done with that too. Maybe, like the fear, I just wanted to get over it. Get over his bullying once and for all.
Did that make me an idiot?
"Just us?" I confirmed.
"Just us," he said.
"Alright then." I took, a deep unwavering breath. If that's what he wanted, then that's what he was going to get.
I was beginning to regret my decision the more Neil and I walked deeper into the sewers. One, because I was getting more and more tired, especially with minimal sleep. And two. . . I limped after Neil, whose face was set forward for the last few minutes. Two, I knew that we were getting far from the others. So far, in fact, that even if I screamed, no one would hear me at all.
A few more of this, and a little more of seeing identical walls in each turn, Neil finally stopped. "There," he said under his breath. "All done." He then twisted to me, a small smile on his lips. "Now you probably know why we're here."
"No," I said, stating the obvious. "As a matter of fact, I do not."
"Oh?" Neil's eyes glistened under the beam of my own flashlight nevertheless. "Are you sure about that?" he said.
Well yes and no. He was here to confront me, wasn't he? To tell me I sucked? And then what? I thought of the possibilities. He couldn't just leave me here. How would he explain that to the others?
Neil, as if reading my thoughts, laughed out loud, it made my ears ring. "Leighton, Leighton, give me more credit than that, will you? I don't want to tell a lie to Audra. Not completely."
"Then what?" I said. "Can we just get this over with?"
"Sure." He shrugged his shoulders, ran a hand through his hair. "If you want to." He smirked. "Let me get right down to it then. What I want you to do is simple. Beg me to leave you."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Leighton. Beg."
My eyes narrowed at him. Was he out of his mind?
Neil took a step forward, pressed his palms together. "I will not repeat myself again, Leighton. I want you to tell me to leave you, right here, right now, so I can go on my way and relay it to the others."
"The hell am I going to do that?" I said. "Fuck you, Neil!"
Something in his eyes changed. "Fuck me?"
"Yes."
"Fuck me? Why Leighton, you're not worthy of such things. You're disgusting."
"And you're not?"
He shrugged again, unencumbered. Of course, he would do this. But I did not have to conform.
I was just beginning to go back to the direction we came from, when he managed to reached my side and pulled at my arm. Hard.
"The hell?!" I said.
"I meant it, Leighton. I don't want you with us again."
"Like hell I care!"
He pushed me back.
I pushed forward.
He pushed me back again. I was getting tired of this.
Forward. Back. Forward. Back. We went on and on again, until he snarled and pulled at my arm, accidentally dragging my bracelet in the process.
I squeaked as tiny pieces of beads scattered on the ground, breaking my heart along with it.
"You know what hate about you?" Neil whispered, obviously not giving a damn. "You really want to know?" His words echoed around us. "It's that you're weak, Leighton. You couldn't even defend yourself if you tried." My eyes were blurry as I looked at him. He'd made a big mistake. "You're a whiny, little bitch," he continued. "No, you're worse than that." Neil pushed me on the chest, his voice rising in a crescendo. "It's the fact that you don't belong with us. You're stupid. So ignorant. And one of these days, you're going to get me and Audra killedâ I won't let you!"
Thwack!
What had I done?!
Wiping my tears, I knew that I had gone too far. But I didn't mean to. I was too shocked.
"N-Neil. . ." I stammered, tried to reach out for him. But already, I could see the blood dripping on his face. It happened so fast, no one could foresee it.
Neil wiped the blood from his forehead, gave a little gasp. "You. . ." he said. "You hit me with your crutch. . ."
"Neilâ"
"You tried to kill me. . ."
"No, I didn'tâ"
"Shut up!" He pushed me back roughly until I lost my balance. "Shut up! SHUT UP!"
I didn't even feel myself hitting the ground. But he was taller than me, so greatly and suddenly, all I could do was gawk up at him.
"This is the last time that you'll try to do this, Leighton! To me or to Audra!" Neil took my crutch from the floor. And just when I was about to say no, tossed it to the sewer water without remorse. "Good luck getting that! Good luck getting out of here on your own!" He looked down on me, smiled. "You know I was going to be nice to you and leave you intact? But now?" He turned around, sealing the deal. "Now I'll let the fate decide for you. Pray we don't meet again, for your sake, Leighton."
I was too shocked to say anything as he began to walk away. I was too numb to call out, to ask him, even, to come back and help me.
Neil and I were beyond repair. I hurt him. But he hurt me too, and now laying on the floor, I didn't know what to do.
It took me a while to convince myself to crawl into the murky water, to begin the task of searching for the crutch that would help me stand back up in the first place. But as the blackish liquid dampened my arms, then my torso, and finally my knees, I regretted every bit of decision I'd made until this point. Especially this.
"C-cold!" I chattered, unintentionally speaking through the emptiness. The water was cold and smelly. And so dirty that I couldn't see the bottom. But I knew that I had to go deeper into it to find the crutch that Neil had thrown. If I wanted to go back to where Audra and Hanz were, I needed to swallow my disgust, work through this.
Never mind an infection. I needed to risk it.
I almost threw up when I completely submerged myself.
In and out. In and out. I tried not to cry. Or to sniffle, even, as I began the blind search for the crutch with my hand. I knew that I would get past this somehow.
And somehow, I did.
"Gotcha!" I said as something familiar hit my fingers.
It was all that I could do to keep myself from puking. And then as I pulled the crutch to me, I tried to crawl outâ every inch of me was damp with sewer water now.
But there was one more thing to do. Instead of getting up, I knelt on the floor, then started collecting the beads that had fallen. That Neil had tried to take away from me.
I would get back at him for this. I would tell him that he made a mistake.
But for now?
I tried collecting what I could, tried to steel myself from crying. I had enough of that in a lifetime. I had enough of sniveling around. For now, I needed to get through this, and find my way back to Audra.