Chapter 32: Backstab
For all the happiness of the day, I never thought that I'd ever feel a frown on my face again. Yet there it was, sprouting like an unwanted weed on my mouth, especially when I recognized who it was in the room. The person that I least expected.
Adjusting his thick glasses, Steven Blackwell was polite enough to gesture to the sofa, issue an invitation. "Sit, please," he said, in this deep, friendly voice. "I'd been waiting all evening for you."
"Pax! Neil!" Someone crashed behind us just when I thought the world was going to be over. Someone who sounded excited. Someone who had no clue.
Neil and I were pushed forward in the room a little bit more, but Hanz was overjoyed behind us. "I think we won!" he said. "Well, you won! You were crazy, you guys! The crowd loved it!"
He would have said more, had Audra not come in there too. Locked the door. Yet one good look inside, and there was a gasp coming from her. "Blackwell?!"
"Hello. . ." Blackwell seemed to be enjoying this, being the uninvited guest. Once more, he signaled to the sofa, while I tried not to scream. "Please, we barely have time," he said.
Audra pushed her way inside, as I knew she would, followed directly by Hanz.
But even before they had reached the man, Doctor Blackwell had drawn a gun.
Seeing this, I dashed to Audra's side, began yelling, "What do you want?!" I said. "Isn't it enough what you did? Just leave us alone already!"
I tried to push Audra behind me, but she was adamant to stay in front.
Steven Blackwell, suited in a black coat and tie, his hair still unkempt, lowered his gun, gave me an amused smile. "You are Pax, aren't you?" he asked. "You're so much different than the school reports had given to me. So many things must have transpired."
I gritted my teeth. School reports my ass. And now what?
Obviously, we couldn't hurt him what with the gun, but I would really like to try.
Blackwell's gaze then traveled to Hanz, who it looked like he wasn't seeing for the first time. "Ahh, Peterson." The doctor acknowledged. "You're here too, as expected. With your small group. How are you holding up, by the way?"
"What do you mean?" Hanz asked.
"Weren't you aware?"
Hanz's heavy breaths filled the room, while I was still thinking how I could take Audra away from this, while accidentally not hurting anyone except for Blackwell. But then my blood turned to ice when Steven said, "Your mothers. I'm sorry for your loss."
For a few seconds, there was silence in the room. It was as if all the sounds had been vacuumed into a vortex.
My knees turned weak. My breaths coming in short spurts. But even so, I didn't make much noise, especially when Hanz said, "My mothers?"
Blackwell shrugged. "You were there in Leighton's house when I explained it to her parents weren't you? You were the ones who caused the fire?" He paused. "I was so sure that day that you must have heard. But apparently you didn't."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Hanz's voice had raised. Though there was a lilt to it that sounded all wrong. Stepping forward more, I could see his hands trembling, his massive frame beginning to shake.
Yet he held his ground as Blackwell spoke. "Well it seems that there is a misunderstanding here, children." Steven's calculating eyes went to Audra, then to me, coming to a quick understanding. "You knew, didn't you? And you didn't tell him?"
"Tell me what?" Hanz's voice sounded disembodied, not coming from him at all. "Please!" he said. "What about my mom's? Just say it!"
Blackwell held onto his gun, unafraid of Hanz's reaction.
But I was. Audra was, too, from her expression. More so when Steven said, "Your mom's are dead, Peterson. I'm sorry. You're a wanted man because of that. But we had to think of something to catch you."
Hanz didn't say anything, and I didn't dare look at him. This was a mistake.
I had wanted to tell him. I could have done it today or tomorrow. But not like this.
A candle holder almost hit Blackwell square on the head. And missed.
What?
"Just do as Leighton said." Neil had spoken for the first time since coming into the room. "Leave us alone, Blackwell!" He was the one who threw the candle holder. How he got it without us hearing a thing, though, was a big mystery that couldn't be solved now. "Go away!" Neil insisted. "You've done enough damage. And if you think we'll come with you, then we'd rather die. Isn't that right, Audra?"
"I'd rather be spitting blood,"Audra agreed, going forward to shield me, breathing heavily.
Blackwell, looking entertained, lowered his gun once more. "Is that right?" he said.
"Touch Pax and I'll kill you." Audra's voice was loud and clear, but all I could do was look at Steven Blackwell. He was considering this, eyes gleaming with interest, hand going to his neck to play with his strange necklace.
After a few seconds of pause, he started again. "Alright then," Blackwell said. "Let's make a deal instead. I'm a scientist, you know that. And I wouldn't mind going through radical means, even when my parents before me, wouldn't." His head tilted, the hand on his necklace revealing an animal tooth. "It's nothing personal, children. All for the sake of knowing the truth."
I tried to release the breath I was holding, but it still felt like I was slowly choking on air.
"My condition is this," Blackwell continued. "In exchange for the rest of your freedom, you give me one thing. . . Pax. Hand her over, and you will walk as free men. You will no longer be cured from the Gay Gene."
"What?!" Audra started to rush towards him, only to be stopped by his gun.
I froze.
While Blackwell gave us a calculating smile, as if he had made an important find. "Give me Leighton," he insisted. "I'll be providing you two weeks to consider this offer. Meet me at my main research lab when the time has come. If you deliver her to me, the rest of you will not receive the cure anymore, nor will you be hunted by my men." He paused. "Those twats may be a failure, but they're still good for something. I guarantee that." He snapped his fingers. "Also, as a bonus, for those two short weeks while you're considering this, you will not be wanted men anymore. This means, you can do almost anything, provided that you do not contact your relatives. One ring on their phones, and like Hanz's parents, they will be dead."
"You monster!" Hanz was preparing to run to Blackwell, if only Audra hadn't grabbed him.
But trembling, Neil from behind said, "You can't get away with this, you know that right? In fact, we can even kill you. Right now."
"No." Blackwell didn't look scared. "Even if one of you sacrifices right now so the others can get me, you know as well as I do that the moment you do, you'll deal with worse consequences. And what use do any of you have to me dead?" He shrugged, pocketed his gun. "I am a man of experiments, children. To get radical truths, you need to do radical things." He glanced at his wristwatch. "See you in two weeks."
Not one of us did a thing as Blackwell stepped out of the room, disappeared into the hallway, as if a figment of our imagination.
Not one of us stopped him, knowing full well that he'd shoot us point blank if we did, and that his men would be outside waiting to assassinate us anyhow.
But I felt shattered for Hanz, who clutched at his head the moment Blackwell disappeared. Hanz didn't even cry out loud. Though I knew that he inside he was breaking.
Going to him, I tried to touch his shoulder. But he was quick to shun me away, his cheeks beginning to stream with tears. "Did you know?!" he rasped. "About my mom's?"
"Hanz, Iâ"
He wiped his face angrily, straightened his back. Like this, he was just like a scary giant, though I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. He was our Hanz.
Only, he then shook his head, turned away from me. "Worry about yourself, Leighton," he hissed. "It's you who should be crying."
He stormed out of the room, disappearing from our lives. Not once looking back.
Two days had passed since that incident. Two days since my friends had left the room after Blackwell did. Two days when even Audra hadn't returned. Hadn't slept on the same bed as me, hadn't told me that everything was alright, even when everything wasn't.
Two days of me staring at the ceiling, grieving for something I couldn't control.
Where were they? I thought. I barely ate anything except for the fruits and crackers on the table, care of the ship.
On the third day, when I was sure that no one would talk to me about our situation, I rose from the bed, went to the bathroom to check myself.
What stared back at me from the mirror was barely recognizable.
She was ashen. Sickly. The freckles were still there on her nose, but she was too colorless for her own good. Ghastly.
No wonder Audra didn't come back to me when she left.
No wonder she left me in the first place. I was pathetic.
My fist bumped on the mirror, though it didn't crack.
Shit.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I shouted. "Shit!"
Why did these things kept on happening to me?
Why did the world pull me up, only to kick me back down again? This was a mess.
I was grieving for Hanz, yet I needed to give him time to grieve. I was grieving for myself. Blackwell had pitted my friend's freedom against me.
What do I do next? Surrender to him?
If I did, then I would be left with nothing.
I was so devastated, I could do nothing but stare at the mirror again. At my reflection.
Yet the girl who stared back at me was not even crying. Was stoic.
I couldn't recognize her anymore; She had changed. She had endured even after all of this. Survived.
I placed my forehead against the mirror. Maybe life was all about enduring things. Being broken down, but getting back up again.
And if that meant that it was the only way I could be happy, then so be it. I would endure. I would stand up. But I would give one hell of a fight.
Turning to the shower, I decided to clean myself.
It was wonderful what a little pep talk in front of the bathroom mirror could do for your well-being. Okay, I cried under the shower too, but I promised myself that it would be the last time. This time, I would be the one in control. This time, I would not let anyone hurt me anymore. Or my friends. I was done.
But first, there was breakfast. For two days, like I said, I hadn't eaten much and was mostly surviving on fruit and water. The vegan part of Hanz would be so proud. But if I were to return my sanity even a little, I needed to feel like my normal self again.
So I went to the restaurant, sat on the table.
"Here's the menu, young lady." The server was a thin gangly man in his fifties. He looked like he'd seen one too many people on his journey, and because of that, didn't tolerate much crap. So I didn't give him any.
"I don't have cash with me right now," I said. "Is it possible to put a tab on my room for the time being?"
His eyes squinted at me while he glanced at my clothes.
But I said, "This is a cruise ship. I'm not a freeloader or anything. Check my room. I belong in the first class."
That did it. His face softened. But it was thanks to my tone, not the mention of the premium. Like I said, this man didn't look like he'd take any crap. And from the looks on his face, for once he was glad to encounter someone who didn't give that.
"Sure," he said, in a perfectly polite manner. "What would you have for today?"
A lot.
I ate a lot, and that was putting it mildly.
Chicken. Roast beef. You name it, I ate it. I even included dessert.
By the end of it all, I was so full that I wanted to run to the bathroom, but instead, I thanked the server, asked him to include the tip on the tab. My friend and I would pay it all off later.
Speaking of friends, I began to leave the restaurant too, just to look for them. Obviously, they wouldn't come back to me anytime soon to discuss their freedom. And I had peeked in the boy's room earlier in the morning, but it looked like the bed hadn't been touched at all. They could have slept somewhere. Somewhere as far away from me as possible.
I needed to find out where.
And so, I took the time roaming the ship, trying to find its deepest secrets. Trying to go to places I hadn't explored much before. For a single person it could be too much. But I didn't give up. I just searched a bit harder.
Soon, breakfast became lunch, but I wasn't done with my exploration, so I tried to search just more.
I went to the daredevil attractions that Audra could be on.
I went to the makeup stores. There were a couple of them scattered throughout the boat for Neil to fawn on.
As for Hanz. . . I went back to the gym. The ship had comprehensive amenities, and he could be using those.
But with each place I visited, I didn't see them there. All I could see were strangers everywhere having the time of their lives. They were normal, unlike my situation. Because of this, they didn't have the burden of being tied down, of being forced a cure that they never even wanted.
I stumbled into the movie theater afterwards, where again, I convinced the staff to let me in without outright payment. The whole place was dark, understandably, because a movie was playing. But in the crowd, I didn't see my friends or Audra. Where could they be?
I sat on a chair, stared blindly at the movie screen. Titanic was playing, which was ironic.
Whoever was watching this had the guts of steel.
After a few minutes in, I decided thatâ yes Rose was clearly an impulsive woman. And yes I still wanted to watch it, but it was time to leave.
Stumbling onto the deck again, I saw that the sunset had come and gone. For the third day since Blackwell, I was all by myself again.
But what if my friends had already left the ship? A small voice said inside me. What if they had departed without me? I just didn't know?
My stomach turned at the thought as I made my way back to our room. I mean, clearly Blackwell would have left the ship by now, but then so could my friends.
It had been three days since I'd last seen them after all. Why hadn't I thought of that?
But what if Audra and the others were kidnapped? Another thought came to me. And here I was thinking that they abandoned me, when I didn't even know if they were safe and sound.
I opened the door to my room; nothing.
It was still vacated of their presence. Of Audra's scent. Of Audra's love.
Maybe I should have tried harder to search for them. Maybe, just maybeâ
I sensed someone behind me moving just a second too late.
"Gotcha!" someone whispered, before covering my head.