Chapter 36: Absolute

Chapter 36: Absolute

We spent the next few days scheming, readying, and making our plans into reality. One of the solutions to our dilemma came a day after we had left the Crowley's farm, while trying to sleep in the car, hidden under a bunch of trees.

"I wish. . ." Neil trailed. "Sometimes, I wish that we could just go to Blackwell's building and blow the whole thing up."

"Why don't we?" Audra said.

"We should," I agreed sleepily.

Little did I know at that time that they would take that statement seriously. But the very next day, Neil was already asking. "So when do we build the bombs?"

Ever since then, the Neil and Audra had been whispering to each other, talking back and forth about going for a convenience store run. Until one day, tired of the secrecy, Hanz finally said, "Can you just include us in your plan, please? Pax and I have no idea what's happening. A little bit of info would help."

"You have every right to be confused," Audra said to him. "But we're thinking about bombing Blackwell's office. Not the kind to be shared too lightly, but still a good way to exact revenge. Aside from stealing his antidote, of course."

"Right. . ." Hanz looked reluctant at this. By that time, all of us were in the car, having moved to a different place, yet everything was still the same. We were still hiding.

"How though?" Hanz continued. "I mean, if you plan to bomb Blackwell's office, don't you need a bomb in the first place? Where would you get that?"

"Easy," Neil replied. "Remember the weapons we made back in the convenience store?"

"You mean when we just escaped from my house?"

"Yup. . . Well," Neil said, "A bomb can be made from common household items too. Like hydrogen peroxide, for example. Acetone. A simple old cellphone. Do you know that most terrorists rely on those things to make their mass weapons of destructions? They don't exactly buy it off a store."

My eyes sought Audra's. The information that Neil was saying didn't look completely new to her. As with Neil's skill of producing volatile materials. Audra wasn't kidding when she said that their childhood was spent doing reckless things, and I felt bad knowing how and why it had to happen in the first place.

But then Audra shook her head at me. "It's just a hobby, Pax, like driving fast cars? Like knowing how to throw a knife. It just so happens that ours can kill someone. And we can use the bomb we'll make to destroy Blackwell and everything he has. We shouldn't hold back. You know that, right?"

Hanz and I had glance at each other. We had talked about stealing antidote, but hurting people? Was that really the right decision?

Hanz turned away after a second. But already, I had seen that he was quickly agreeing to Audra and Neil's plan. And even I knew his reasoning.

Those people. . . Blackwell, his tracers, whoever were behind this, were the ones who killed his moms, after all. Those people had hurt us. Why not destroy everything they had too?

"We don't have to be heartless and kill them all," Audra supplied. "But Neil and I want to install the bombs around their building anyhow. It's a back-up plan, just in case."

I could see where they were coming from. Of course, we needed a back-up plan. Only a fool would go to a powerhouse's building unprepared. Only a fool wouldn't agree to it.

Since then, we made the plan step-by-step. Using the map that the Crowley's had let us borrow, we determined the places that we could go to and shop without being spotted. We tried to steer clear of road where we could be stopped.

Going to different stores on different days, my three friends took turns getting the ingredients for the bomb. While I, and whoever was staying behind on that day, would either prepare everything else, or train for a fight.

Today, while Hanz and Neil tried to work on the bombs, Audra coaxed me for a training session.

"Pax," she said. "It's time."

It was afternoon already, and I could see the sunlight filtering through the trees in the forest where we were staying at. It could had been beautiful, if weren't out here doing these things.

As usual, without much introductions, Audra stopped in the middle of what looked to be a meadow— not to hang out, not to sweet talk me, but to stare at me with her observant eyes, much like what she was doing the past few days.

"Okay," she said. "Today, you're going to learn how to attack. Enough with the defense."

"But. . ."

"I thought you're already done with but's?" She smirked.

I could see her trying to warm me on this idea. But still, I wanted to give my reasons. After all I had barely mastered the defense she thought me yesterday, and the days before that. What could I do with an all-out attack?

Audra, as if knowing what I was thinking, shook her head at me. "We barely have time. About five more days to be exact." She looked me from head toe. "We can't be having you just shaking in the corner, can we, Pax?"

No.

She did have a point.

Without saying anything more, Audra ran straight to me, procuring a knife that Neil had bought for us.

Audra tried to swing it to me so fast, barely missing me by a hairline.

"Good," she said, when I how somehow survived. "Now try to kill me. And don't you hold back."

We had done the basics for a few days now, but I was still surprised to feel myself automatically going to a fighting stance after she said that.

Afterwards, I procured my own knife.

But even before I realized what was happening, Audra was hitting my stomach.

"Ow!" I doubled over in pain. She didn't stab me. She had hit me with the blunt end of her knife. But the effect still stung, like it was real enough.

Aura jumped backwards, scowling at me. "Like I said yesterday," she snapped. "Do you think our enemies will think twice about killing you?" She threw her knife in the air, caught it with two fingers. "No. . . They shot you. They stabbed me, Pax. What more explanations do you need? A powerpoint presentation?"

I tried to straighten my back. But my stomach felt like it was hit by a pole.

Audra, lifting her hands, beckoned to me. "If you don't get this right, you will end up dead, Pax Leighton. And I would rather have you keel on my feet first, before I have you dying on me. Now attack!"

It was during the after sessions when I would usually feel the pain. All the exhaustion. All the hopelessness. Audra was a tough teacher.

It was always during the after sessions, too, when I'd stare at the lake.

Or the river.

Or a swamp.

Depending on the place where we'd end up on— where our adventure would take us.

Either way, it was during after training sessions time, when either Hanz or Neil would walk behind me; Hanz usually to encourage. Neil usually to entertain.

That was why this time, I wasn't surprised when Neil came behind me, saying, "You know she cares about you a lot. Audra, I mean."

It was a lake I was standing over this time, which was why I could see Neil's reflection, looking at me pityingly. "You know why Audra's being tough," he continued. "She had no one aside from me, for a very long time."

"I know that," I murmured.

"Which is why she needs you to come out alive."

"I'll try."

"You will."

But then everything about me was sad when I turned to Neil. I knew, because I saw the concern on spreading on his face, something I never thought I'd get to witness. Especially over me.

"This could be a mistake," I said. "The rashness of my decisions. Pitching ourselves to the total unknown. But I stand by it. I stand by fighting. I stand by getting an antidote. Do you know that?"

"I think we'd pretty much established that by now, Leighton."

I smirked at him. Neil still refused to call the rest of us by our first name. But there were other important things.

"I honestly don't know if I'll come back alive after this," I said. "If something happens—"

"Stop it, Leighton."

I grabbed at his hand. He was just about to swivel around and leave me. "Neil. . . If something happens, take care of Audra, okay?"

His chin jutted out. It was obvious that he didn't want to listen to me. "You're stupid," he said.

"I am." I let go of him. "I am stupid," I said. "And I'm your friend. You're also Audra's best friend, so protect her when I can't. That's all I ask."

Neil nodded. But even the lake beyond us was too rippled to reflect it.

The afternoon before the day we'd set out for our grand plan, Hanz burst near the cliff where I was just standing, face bright red, hands flailing, gesturing back to where he came from; the middle of the trees where we'd hidden our campsite.

"Pax!" he said. "Pax!"

Immediately, I knew that something was wrong. If not for his face, then the way his eyes reflected trouble, and immediately I thought of Audra.

Grabbing the knife I had used to practice by myself from the ground, I ran back to the campsite with Hanz.

After a few minutes, I could see the crackling bonfire. Though no one was there.

Behind me, something exploded.

"Surprise!" someone screamed. Followed by Neil, who popped another party popper over my head, showering me with colorful confetti's.

I gaped at him, perplexed. "W-what?!"

Audra stepped from behind him, a cupcake on her hand, a single candle placed on it. "Happy birthday, Pax! Go and blow your candle," she said.

I glanced at the three of them, and they grinned at me right back. Who had even planned this? What day was it?

Audra, eyes shining now, stepped towards me, offered the dessert. "I knew you'd forget, so I told the boys to plan a little something."

"Let's get drunk!" Neil said. While Hanz went to a box I hadn't noticed on the ground.

Crouching to it, he said, "Don't look so shocked. You deserve this."

"But tomorrow," I mumbled.

Audra brought the cupcake under my chin. "Tomorrow is tomorrow," she said. "Tomorrow, we'll storm Blackwell's building. Tomorrow, we don't know what's going to happen to us. But today, we celebrate you."

Looking down, my eyes were blurryas I blew on my candle. It was the first birthday party I had in ages where people actually came. People outside of my family.

Audra, smiling wider at me, took my hand.

Tomorrow was the day before the deadline that Blackwell had set. Tomorrow was the day we attack to surprise him. But even so, Audra, Hanz, and Neil didn't let that stop them, celebrating with me, whipping out a bluetooth speaker and attaching a USB pre-downloaded with music to amp up the festivities.

All of these were a luxury to us. The cupcakes. The music. We had disciplined ourselves for the past few days, shying away from things that couldn't help us, even from technology. Most of it.

Yet all of that seemed forgotten as they lighted more candles when night fell, streamed music that only we could seem to hear.

Audra, guiding me to the middle of our campsite, placed her hand on my waist, just when slow music sounded, then started to sway me.

"We haven't gone to prom together in junior year," she whispered, tickling my ear.

I went closer to her, feeling the beat of her heart against my chest. Seeing the way she swallowed hard when I did that. And gasping a little when I whispered to her too. "So this is your idea of a prom?"

"Why not?" She twirled me around. Audra and I hadn't had much moments like this lately. Most of our days were spent planning and training. A cycle that almost never ends.

But then at night. . . At night, when all was done, when all the trainings had concluded, Audra and I would cuddle under the sheets. That's when we would savour the day, whisper sweet nothings.

A few and far moments in between, but still worth it.

She twirled me around again. "My ideal prom is just somewhere with the two of us," she said. "No other people."

"I'm hurt." Neil piped up.

Glancing at the boys, I could see that Neil was getting drunk with Hanz. They'd been playing Uno cards while Audra and I danced, and had been trying to be quiet.

I smirked at him, while Audra, turning my face back to her, said, "Can you come with me, Pax? I want to be alone with you."

"Sure. . ."

The two of us grabbed our own flashlight's near our stack of things, ignored the boys who were now shouting threats at each other, failing their quiet game, and headed deeper into the forest where I allowed Audra to guide me.

We ended up on the edge of the cliff, back to where I was standing this afternoon when Hanz had called. But more curious was the sleeping bags. A double one that Audra and I had shared everyday. They weren't there this afternoon.

She didn't explain anything as we both went to it, then proceeded to open a lantern.

"This is honestly amazing," I said, sitting.

"Thanks. . ." But Audra spared no expense in getting to the point, whipping out a small package that was wrapped in brown paper. A box?

I took it as she gave it to me, stared at her curiously. "What's this?" I asked.

"A gift." Audra stared at the thing on my hand. "Happy birthday, Pax. It's nothing much, but. . ."

My fingers were shaking as I tried to peel the wrap. Aside from my parents and relatives, no one had ever given me a gift before. Was I dreaming?

My eyebrows cocked up when I had finally opened the box and uncovered a Lego block inside. But before I could ask her, Audra was raising one of her own. "Recognize this?" she asked.

"That's. . ." I scrutinized the yellow Lego block that was on her own hand. It looked similar to the one she gave me. But then I saw what made the difference, and I couldn't help but smile.

'Pax' was written on hers. Written a long time ago. I recognized it.

"You took it from my house," I said. "From my bedroom?"

Audra glanced at it too. It felt like a long time ago since we were back in there. So long, in fact, that I had almost forgotten about it.

"I told you," she murmured. "That there's something about these toys that makes me feel like I could just start over." A smile spread on her face. "With life, you're that with me, Pax. You're my Lego block."

My eyes went to her gift. Flipping it around, I saw that she had written her name on my copy of Lego too. Now both of us could start over when our life was knocked down. Together.

Audra started to lean onto me, coax me into a kiss. And receiving her in my arms, I kissed her right back, swallowing the desire in my stomach, because I knew she wasn't ready.

But then she pulled us down the sleeping bags, and I felt that she was.

"Please. . ." She whispered. "Undress me, Pax."

My hands were shaking. I was getting suffocated with lust. But despite that, I wanted to do this right. I wanted to protect Audra for anything that she might be scared of, and I happen to know what that was.

Even so, Audra pulled me to her, rougher. Whispered again, "Please. . . With you, it's okay, Pax. With you, I'm unafraid."

I removed our clothes.

Our legs were entangled.

I could feel the warmth coming between her legs. The wetness. The lust. But on Audra's eyes, I could see not only anticipation, there was pain too. And I wanted to rescue her from that.

So what was I to do?

I rolled us around, giving her total control.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, naked and beautiful on top of me. Her breasts perked out, nipples hardening.

Her hair that I'd always wanted to run my fingers to, fell on my face as she leaned down. And despite my own heart beating fast, and my own body aching to devour her, I whispered, "Audra. . . This time take the lead. This time, you wanted this."

A tear dropped down on my face, and I knew that what we had between us was real. Complete. So much so when she lowered her fingers. So much so, when I could feel them thrusting into me. I cried out.

"Audra. . ." I groaned. Damn, it felt good. She was sliding inside me now, getting surer with every move.

My closed on their own. This was heaven. This was good.

I bit my lips, as she gave another thrust. This was beautiful.