CH 19

Ji Yao had always believed that he and Jiang Heng shouldn’t see each other again, nor should they have any further interactions.

Regardless of how much love they had when they were together, there was one undeniable fact – Jiang Heng did break the norm by extending their short-lived “romance” infinitely; and he himself almost abandoned his own principles for Jiang Heng, coming close to crossing his own boundaries.

No matter how much genuine affection they might have put into their relationship back then, what mattered was that, for a certain period of time, they indeed became the most special beings to each other.

They knew each other’s secrets, maintained unspoken agreements, and even their breakup was as intense as a cleanly snapped blade, straightforward and decisive.

If they had simply grown tired or bored of each other, and their breakup had followed a natural course, then that would’ve been fine and, with time, forgettable. But their separation had been both abrupt and rushed, which instead made it hard to let go.

The sharp edge of the separation would never disappear. When left unnoticed, it gathered dust; when brought out and touched, it inevitably cut the hand.

Hence, the best outcome for them was to never see each other again, treating each other as if they didn’t exist in each other’s worlds. Because once the illusion was broken, it would be hard for them to move forward.

Over the years, Ji Yao had never deliberately recalled anything related to Jiang Heng. Until today, he hadn’t really thought about it, maybe out of fear.

Jiang Heng’s gaze flickered, seemingly unprepared for this answer, almost losing his usual composure.

He fell silent for two seconds, then managed a smile, as though he didn’t want to confront this answer.

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” Jiang Heng changed the topic. “Did you bring an umbrella?”

Ji Yao’s heart moved slightly, his fingers in his pocket unconsciously twitching.

The humidity in the air was quite apparent, a thin layer of frost clinging to withered leaves. The sky gradually darkened, and small lawn lights began to glow by the stone pathway.

Right, Ji Yao thought, the time when he and Jiang Heng “progressed further” in their relationship had also been on a gloomy rainy night.

It had been a few months after their return from Hokkaido, also in late summer.

It happened to be a Saturday. Following his routine, Ji Yao had returned home. However, his timing coincided with a social engagement his father had from his work unit. They had come back late, and the couple had quarreled persistently, arguing even until past 1 AM.

Ji Yao lay in the second bedroom just behind a wall, listening to his parents’ argument and dragging up disputes from twenty years ago. From drinks and socializing to trivial household matters, it finally fell into silence, leaving only the suppressed sound of his mother sobbing.

He lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling in silence for a while, then got up expressionlessly, not even bothering to put on a coat, taking his phone and leaving.

Thinking back now, that day was much like today, heavy with moisture in the air, suffocating.

Ji Yao wanted to go back to the school dormitory, but it was too late. So he scrolled through his contacts and called Jiang Heng.

Jiang Heng arrived quickly. Ji Yao waited in place for twenty minutes before he saw Jiang Heng getting out of a taxi and running towards him.

Jiang Heng wore casual clothes that day, hadn’t even had time to remove his glasses. As he approached, Ji Yao noticed a thin layer of sweat on his forehead.

“Why are you out at this hour?” Jiang Heng said, ” are you feeling cold?”

Ji Yao shook his head and said, “I’m not cold.”

He could sense that Jiang Heng was gauging his attitude towards the previous question and therefore tactfully didn’t press further, just taking off his coat and giving it to Ji Yao, then accompanying him on the sidewalk for a while.

They walked a stretch of road through a construction zone without streetlights, then reached a main road, passing by a 24-hour convenience store.

Under the blue and white sign of the convenience store, Jiang Heng suddenly reached out, tightening Ji Yao’s collar.

“It seems like it’s going to rain,” Jiang Heng said. “Did you bring an umbrella?”

Ji Yao turned his head, looking at the convenience store entrance’s rack of umbrellas, then turned back to face Jiang Heng and calmly shook his head.

“No,” Ji Yao said.

“That’s fine,” Jiang Heng narrowed his eyes, saying, “let’s go to my place.”

That was the first time they opened up their private spaces to each other since they’d been together for a few months. Ji Yao remembered it was a rainy night in Beijing. Raindrops started tapping against the window glass shortly after he entered the apartment.

It was after three in the morning. Ji Yao stood in front of the French windows, watching the heavy rain outside. Jiang Heng, freshly showered, came from behind and wrapped his warm, steamy arms around Ji Yao’s waist, playfully nipping at his earlobe.

“Stay over,” Jiang Heng’s voice was soft. “From now on, live with me.”

Ji Yao remembered he’d said, “Okay,” back then.

It seemed like Jiang Heng always appeared in certain situations, effortlessly striking at Ji Yao’s heart. Step by step, Ji Yao had moved further without resistance, ending up in a situation he couldn’t turn back from.

Now, nearly six years later, facing the same person, the same question, the answer wouldn’t be the same.

“Didn’t bring one,” Ji Yao shook his phone at Jiang Heng, saying, “But I can get a cab in a while.”

Jiang Heng nodded.

“Alright, be careful on your way back,” he said.

As his words trailed off, he finally ended the exchange of pleasantries. Jiang Heng turned away before Ji Yao, walking towards the other end of the stone pathway.

Ji Yao stood still with his hands in his pockets, watching Jiang Heng’s figure grow distant. He felt like Jiang Heng’s back was exactly the same as three years ago, except maybe a bit slimmer, otherwise unchanged.

Probably due to his ongoing recovery, Jiang Heng’s pace wasn’t fast, but his demeanor was good. He’d walked through the construction area without looking hunched, and when he left the stone path, he couldn’t help but reach out and touch the doorframe of Moon Gate.

He could feel Ji Yao’s gaze still lingering behind him, but he didn’t turn around.

Jiang Heng’s surgical wounds hadn’t fully healed yet, occasionally causing him pain. Inconvenient for driving, he’d pre-ordered a driver from a ride-hailing service.

The efficiency of the service turned out to be better than he’d expected. By the time he reached the parking area, the staff member in a blue vest was already leaning against the car, waiting for him.

Jiang Heng opened the trunk, then slowly sat in the passenger seat, tucking the plushy cushion in his arms.

Within these few steps, rain began to fall from the sky. Raindrops splashed against the windshield, forming shallow watermarks.

Jiang Heng took out a warm bottle of mineral water from a thermos box and swallowed a few pills.

The driver put away the items in the trunk, then quickly entered the car, asking about the destination as usual, “Is it to Lujiazui Riverside Estate?”

“No,” Jiang Heng thought for a moment, changing his mind on the spot. Shaking his head, he said, “Go to the Ruiting Waterfront.”

“The villa area in Pudong?” the driver asked.

“Yes, West Gate,” Jiang Heng said.