THEY were sitting on the beach and the westering sun was hanging low in the far blue yonder, blushing crimson red. The sky took hues of orange and the mellow breeze hit their faces, playing with their already tousled hair.
Jin let out a small sigh, stirring up the old and pointless conversation that had died a few minutes ago. "What do you guys think about the new name of our dorm?" He brought in a new topic.
Taehyung showed enthusiasm first as he laughed, his trousered legs sprawled across the sandy beach. "I'm glad the landlord changed it. The last name was so corny."
"I actually thought it wasn't bad. Bulletproof boys, there's something about it," Namjoon spoke, his eyes fixated on the shore where the sea tried to reach and held herself back again.
"Beyond the scene doesn't really suit for a boys' housing," Jimin said fixing the big round glasses on his small face. At noon the weather was hot, the sun scalding, and the breeze was blistering. They had made the mistake of coming by the beach too early and by then Jimin's migraine was triggered. It was slowly diminishing now.
"Yeah," Hoseok chimed in, "It feels more like an idol group's name?" He stated in a questioning manner and looked to his side to see the boy's reaction.
Yoongi chuckled.
His laughter vanished as soon as it came, just like the spring in the middle of winter and summer. Transient, yet the effect everlasting. No one had ever seen him smile before and every one of the boys stared at him for a good few seconds until Yoongi deflated in his position, making him look smaller than he was, and asked why.
"I have never seen you laugh, hyung." Jungkook's doe eyes were still on him, his fringes long and hiding them almost, but the dying spark was still there. Even in this weather, he was wearing a dark hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants. The blushing sun painted his pale face in golden hues.
"He has before," Hoseok chirped. "In my dreams!"
"You dream about him?" Taehyung asked in a playful tone, a smirk showing up on his face.
"I dream about you all," Hoseok's response wiped the smirk away from Taehyung.
So Taehyung just ran a hand under his locks and turned to Jungkook by his side. His blue hair was dyed to black, was his natural hair color and they had grown longer in curly wisps that fell all over his face.
"Are you feeling better?" He nudged an elbow to his side, softly poking on Jungkook's waist.
The hooded boy had his knees close to his chest, and his hands holding them in a circle. Jungkook gave him a puzzling look before answering, "Yeah. When am I not?"
"It's been a while since you've gone out after all." Taehyung turned his gaze to Jimin by his other side who shrugged his shoulders.
"I like staying indoors. I'm enjoying this big ass vacation," Jungkook said, his voice flat. Nobody could guess if he was irritated or not, everyone had their ears perked up anyway. They all tried to be really subtle and gentle with him, though Taehyung often handled things differently and was quite straightforward in asking him things.
"You can take more time off university. Dropping a year is no big deal," Jin said carefully for he was the one that was most evident in Jungkook's 'indoor' life now, along with Namjoon. Because Namjoon was done with his bachelor's degree and stayed at the dorm more often than others, Jin too was reeling towards the end of his master's degree.
He had seen Jungkook wrapped up in himself, and he had seen the attacks, the vague ways of Jungkook trying to hide it too.
"I need to participate more, though, my therapist told me to take one step at a time," Jungkook said casually. He didn't really bring up much about the therapy, ever. He tried to be nonchalant about it when he did.
"You should," Namjoon said. "You should take things slowly. There is no rush. It's your life, and no matter how long it takes to do something you're still going forward. And that's a lot."
"I just don't know how to take things slowly." Jungkook's voice was incoherent but everyone made it out.
Before anyone could say anything he spoke again, "Yoongi hyung, please do help me find a good part-time job."
Yoongi nodded in response, he had a few ideas for Jungkook always at the back of his mind. Any job environment that didn't involve females in it.
"You're going to get better with therapy, Jungkook. I did. And I'm going to get it again if things go out of hand," Hoseok spoke abruptly. The calming water gliding along the shores and the seagulls clamoring somewhere far ahead could only be heard next.
Taehyung cut the silence first. "You never said anything about therapy before, hyung."
Hoseok had a soft smile on his face, his eyes glimmering and gazing upon the beach, hands on the sand behind his back and he was leaning on them lazily. "You know now. I have a problem controlling myself, I guess you guys have noticed that."
No one said anything. Only Jimin commented in a low voice that he did.
"My girlfriend didn't know either. I told her about it, and she accepted me. I don't know how far we can go with my problem and all, but I'll try my best. That's why I'll seek therapy again if things start to go downhill with me."
After Hoseok was finished, the boys stayed quiet to see if he'd say more. When he didn't, Jimin said something, this time in a higher voice. "I am sure you can do it, hyung. You will be able to. My girlfriend knows Serim noona, and she's always telling me how you two are the bestest match."
"Really?" Hoseok's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "How does Sangah know her?"
"She's in one of those clubs with her you know, I am not sure. I think it's the photography club or-"
"I surely feel single as hell in this conversation," Taehyung voiced out aloud. "I mean, I'm still sexually confused and I see my friends being couples and gushing about it, all the damn time."
"Don't spill that crap again," Jimin sneered at his friend. "I barely bring her up before you."
"You two are always before my eyes in the university," Taehyung spoke matter-of-factly and Jimin quieted down.
"A lot of us have those sexually confused states. It may feel like it will last forever, even if it does, it's okay. You can never fully find yourself and that's life. You can keep searching, though, you'll keep finding more questions only. And that's life too, I guess," Jin rambled on, and when he noticed everyone staring at him peculiarly, he stopped. He looked down on his pink sleeved sweater and fumbled with the hem of it.
"Does having an existential crisis every single day work the same way?" Jungkook asked, his voice hinting a piqued interest.
Jin thought to himself a little, looking at the innocent eyes of the younger boy. "Yeah, I guess," he finally answered.
"You just, never stop running, even if it hurts," Yoongi murmured in a low tone.
"But it's okay to take a break once in a while, or run really slow," Namjoon added.
The conversation died down again. It was a comfortable silence, everyone just enjoyed being with another.
"I'm going out of the country to get my master's degree, probably at the end of the summer," Namjoon suddenly said. That brought a wave of shock to the boys but none of them commented anything right away.
"Where to?" Jin asked.
"England," Namjoon answered and Taehyung blew a whistle with that.
"Don't surprise me by saying it's the Oxford university or anything."
When Namjoon didn't say anything, he whistled again, louder this time. "That is so cool!"
"England is an amazing place," Jin said smiling from ear to ear.
"Have you been there before?" Namjoon asked and Jin nodded.
"During a vacation, when I was young."
"It must be nice to be rich," Hoseok retorted jokingly.
Jin shrugged with his wide shoulders, in a manner that he didn't know the truth about the statement. "It's confusing for me. Here my master's course is coming to an end, and I don't know what I'm going to do next. Maybe I want to take a break and shape myself more. Take things slowly."
After that, he turned to Namjoon. "Don't forget about us."
"I can never." Namjoon let out a shy fit of laughter. "I will keep in contact with you guys."
"Good luck to you, hyung," Jimin said. "And Yoongi hyung too."
"What about Yoongi hyung?" Taehyung asked with his eyebrow raised.
Yoongi shook his head to the sides, dismissing it. "It's nothing, actually. I got an internship in a small music label. As one of their lyricist. I was going for the producer role..."
An outburst of joyful remarks erupted. "Congratulations, I knew you'd do big, sunshine!" Hoseok almost screamed, and Yoongi's pale face hung even lower from his shoulder as if he wanted to vanish from the face of the earth, or the beach for instance.
"With Jungkook's lawsuit reaching the grand finale, and all this news. Boy, today is a royal day," Taehyung beamed happily but the rapture was gone from there instantly.
Jungkook's lawsuit wasn't going the best. The case blowing up meant farewell to Jungkook's future for his past, nor did Diana want anyone to know as she held a 'respectable' place in the society. Jungkook's testimony was filled with loopholes when Diana seemingly filled in every gap, but somehow it all favored her direction.
In the end, the best thing to do was for Jungkook to meet Diana with his lawyer and come to a conclusion, make amends between both parties.
But Jungkook couldn't and wouldn't, and no one wanted to force him.
It was okay, to run slow.
Jungkook smiled a little and gave a small nod at the sun's direction. "Yeah, today is a royal day."
The tense atmosphere dissolved with that. In the next few minutes, the boys were in a heated conversation, deciding if they ought to spend the whole night om the beach and have barbeque there, and if they had enough money for that right then, or if the idea would flop because it still got a bit cold during nights.
The sun was dipping down, reaching an aged glow and losing it with every passing second.
But tomorrow morning, the sun would be young again. The choice was the sun's. Even while shackled by the nature, the freedom remained, the glow can never fade away.
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Please read the reflection, explanation part.