Chapter 130: Chapter 137: You’re Move

I was so nervous and after what I had to do to convince myself to finally arrive at Lu’s door I was cold too. Somehow I still managed to knock though.

“Just a minute!”

After exactly 60 seconds she opened the door, already having gotten ready for bed. Her wavy hair was let down and all messy, and she was wearing fuzzy pink pants and a black tank top that she was clearly starting to outgrow.

The moment she saw my face her voice turned sour. “What do you want Siya.”

“I-I…” My words got caught in my throat, unsure of what to say as I stumbled over my options in my mind. The moment I heard her voice take the tone that it did I nearly froze solid.

As I paused to gather myself, she slammed the door in my face. ‘She really hates me now…’ That was what I was afraid of… Still, I knocked again. “Lu!” I shouted, pleadingly.

“Just go away! I-I’m not ready to face you yet!”

‘What?’ I looked down at my hands. She cleaned herself up as soon as she could, but here I was still covered in blood and wearing rags. Even if the swords supposedly couldn’t kill her, they were sharp enough to tear fabric and cut me.

I was so nervous that even though I sat in an ice tub for three minutes, I didn’t actually move the whole time I was in it, much less wash myself off. Needless to say, I didn’t wash my clothes either, so naturally they were still dirty and bloody. ‘I must make quite the sight…’

I grabbed my shirt, stretching it out in front of me to better look at it. ‘All I did was remind her of what happened…’ “I’ll be back in half an hour OK!” I yelled through the door.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” If anything, her voice sounded more annoyed than angry, which gave me a weird sort of hope almost as I left.

Needless to say, I wasn’t going to simply “Leave her alone” as she asked. At least not after gathering the courage to take the first step. After cleaning myself up and using my nimble body to stealthily avoid my father, I came back wearing my own pajamas and knocked on the door again.

“GO AWAY!”

‘She knows it’s me? Or… Does she just not want to see anyone now?’’

The whole situation suddenly felt like deja vu, only I was supposed to be the one on the inside of the room, and my older sister on the outside. ‘What would she do?’

Thinking back it was impossible to forget. She busted my door in, breaking it clean off the hinges. Then she wrestled me until I was forced to let her share my bed… Honestly saying it out loud makes it sound more like bullying.

‘I don’t even remember why I was mad, but I remember our parents' faces when they came home the next morning.’ Despite how sad I was, I still almost laughed just thinking about it.

‘I’m not her though… I could never do something like that.’ My eyes drifted to the side as my head gently fell into the door. “Lu! Please let me in! I won't leave until you do!”

Only silence responded. ‘What now? Am I even strong enough to break the door? Isn’t it made from some special type of wood?’ I placed my hand on the planks and felt my willingness to even try quickly slip away. ‘I said I wouldn’t leave… So I guess… I’ll wait?’

I sat still, playing with my manna circulation out of boredom, and eventually started to nod off. I was so used to sleeping on the ground anyway that it hardly made a difference, even with my scrapes and cuts. I had been forced to try and sleep through much worse, and that habit didn’t somehow go away with a couple of weeks of having a nice bed.

After a while I went out like a light, curling up against the door and falling asleep, well, at least I think I fell asleep.

As I felt light touch my skin I slowly opened my dreary eyes to see Lu finally standing in her door frame. “You’re still here?” Her groggy voice whispered like a mouse's squeak.

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My hair fell in front of my face as I slowly sat up, pushing my back against the inside of the frame. “Hey Lu…” I muttered, grabbing a handful of my hair and trying my best to hide my yawn. “Listen, I’m really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you…” As I woke up and my mind cleared I lowered my eyes, unable to look at her. “And I was the one that said Sisters weren’t supposed to hurt each other too…”

My mind was so one-tracked that even waking from sleep I knew exactly what I had to say the moment I got the chance. However, she responded… Well… That was up to her.

I couldn’t see her face, just her feet as she anxiously shifted her weight back and forth before letting out an annoyed growl like a baby bird and walking away without saying anything back.

‘So… What now? Do I go back to my room…?’ I placed my hand on the door frame, bracing myself against it. ‘Yeah… I’m sure I’ll have to do some crazy test tomorrow too so that’s probably for the best…’

Before I could stand up I heard her let out another growl, turning around “Don't go anywhere! I’ll be right back.”

I froze still as if somehow my slightest movement would make her take back her words. ‘I guess… I’m staying a bit longer…’

I was glad she was giving me a chance. Whatever joy I felt quickly turned to nerves though, as every second longer started to feel like hours.

Finally, I heard the floorboards creak as someone's feet gently pressured them. As if bursting out of me, my manna flooded through my veins and my mind was suddenly filled with all sorts of information that, given the situation, was honestly not very helpful.

In seconds I knew the exact number of steps she would take to reach me, the number of seconds it would take to make those steps, and even which foot she was most likely to stop on.

It felt surreal, and since I wasn’t fully controlling my manna, it also gave me a headache. I ran a hand through my hair, supporting my head in my palm, still lost on what I was supposed to say to her. ‘Why did she want me to wait anyway?’

“Siya.” She growled again, putting her hands on her hips and shifting her weight to one leg.

It was hard at first, but I forced myself to look up. “Your back…”

She squatted down, gently wrapping her arms around her knees as she tilted her head. “You look pathetic. Just come inside already.”

Still, at a loss, all I could do was take her hand and follow her inside. The whole situation had really served to remind me how bad I was with these sorts of things. ‘In the end… It feels more like she's taking care of me…’

“My room isn’t heated but the blankets are pretty warm. Even you shouldn’t get cold under them.” She continued, climbing into her bed after lifting the covers.

‘Is she just avoiding it? Arn’t people supposed to talk about things like this though?’ “A-about earlier…”

“Either climb in already or you can go back to sleeping outside the door.”

I paused for a moment. ‘I mean, I have my own room too though… Does she really think I’m that stubborn?’ I climbed into her bed next to her. ‘I can just leave after we talk.’

After crawling under the blanket I was overtaken by the sudden warmth of the soft fabrics, and the complete awkward silence that fell between us.

She didn’t seem too keen on starting a conversation, and I had already apologized. Since we were sharing her bed it didn’t seem unreasonable to say she had forgiven me, but that just made my uneasiness confusing, even to me.

“I’m sorry…” I muttered again.

It was so dark I couldn’t even see her, but I could hear her breathing, feel the heat radiating from her body, and sense the blankets shift as she rolled over to her side, facing away from me.

“Even if father didn’t stop the match it wouldn’t have hurt me. I’m not as weak as you.”

‘She knew? But then why…’ Her voice was much softer, but still spiteful in a way. I was starting to get the feeling it wasn’t actually me that she was mad at.

“I know you only agreed to fight me because you didn’t want father to get mad…”

‘She knew that too… But she still agreed to fight me in the end…’

“If sisters are supposed to protect each other… Then when is it going to be my turn?”

“What?” Her voice got quieter and softer until it was rivaled only by my own. Her confidence seemed like it had vanished, and while I was still sure I knew what I heard her say, it felt unfinished. “Your turn for what?”

“Just forget about it. I have to get up early tomorrow, so hurry up and go to sleep.”

I didn’t want to make her angry so I stayed quiet, but I couldn’t fall asleep, not leaving it at that. It was a relief that she didn’t think I almost killed her, or worse yet that I was trying to. Still, my mind couldn’t help but try and fill the gaps in her words.

‘Her turn for what?’

I had always been self-conscious about how our parents seemed to spend so much time with me specifically, so for one reason or another, that was what my mind jumped to first. ‘No, that doesn’t seem right at all, she isn’t the type to care about stuff like that.’

‘Naturally, the term “Turn.” means a phase in which she could act, where I was unable to. It’s like a game of chess.’

Before I knew it a full bored had formed in my mind with two perfect sets of pieces, each one ready for the first turn.

If ‘it’s like that then what would my turn have been? Something in which the opponent feels overwhelmed as if they don’t even get a turn… Something like this then?’

The pieces in my mind started moving where I was white and she was black. I moved first. ‘It would be like if I started with a Reti opening, and transitioned into an obvious gambit.’

The pieces continued to move in my mind. Each of my turns had a purpose, while hers were more chaotic and ultimately too afraid to take one of my pieces, due to knowing she would lose her own. This created the illusion that she was never able to even take a turn, only ever trying to defend, and eventually being overwhelmed.

The exercises were fun but ultimately felt so unrelated I lost track of what I was thinking about entirely, relaxing enough to let my mind wander aimlessly.

I was so relieved that Lu didn’t hate me that I relaxed probably more than I ever had in my entire second life, and one of my old habits even suddenly came back as I quickly found myself sidetracked, smiling as I remembered how much fun it was to play competitively. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep again, playing chess with myself in my head.