After another couple of bottles of whatever the sweet alcohol was my grama slowed her breathing and seemed to relax even deeper. âSiya. Iâm curious, who has the stronger nose, a wolf or a dragon?â
âIs she finally drunkâ âIâm assuming you want to test this somehow?â
She took another long slow breath through her nose. âOh, it shouldnât be too difficult. Just tell me whether or not you can smell the undead coming over the ridge over there.â
âThe whatâ¦â I looked over to where she was pointing and my eyes focused unconsciously, zooming in until I could see several miles away through the poor lighting. âI can see themâ¦â I muttered cautiously.
She slowly shifted her weight in the chair, only seeming to relax more while I started to tense up. âRight, but can you smell them? I knew your eyes would be better⦠Although I am amazed they are that goodâ¦â
The scent of death suddenly started to fill the air all around me, but it was thin and faint, nothing like how it was inside the dungeon. âI can nowâ¦â
She took another swig, swishing the alcohol around the last bottle she had on hand. âI guess I win then. My nose is more sensitive. How about potency⦠No wait, thatâs not the right word. Oh whatever, you know, like how long have they been dead for? Can you tell?â
âUhm⦠The scent is really thin⦠So does that mean not long? Or⦠Is that just because they are far awayâ¦â âShould I be grabbing a sword? Iâm wearing my pajamas⦠should I change? I donât want to get them dirty⦠Then again⦠Maybe thatâs not something I should be worrying about right nowâ¦â
âYou had it right the first time. Theyâve only been dead for two days at most. Bandits.â She stood up with a loud groan and slowly pulled her shirt off revealing her incredibly toned muscles in their entirety. Unwrapping her hands and casually wrapping her chest as if she wasnât doing it out in the open. Leaving me completely speechless once I realized.
âDefinitely drunk⦠Wait, actually from the stories I half thought that she would fight naked.â
She turned to me with a girlish smile. âZombies tend to go at you with teeth, so itâs better to cover the parts you donât want them to bite.â She said with a thumbs up.
âThen why didnât you just keep your shirt onâ¦â âGrama, shouldnât we like⦠I don't know⦠mobilize the garrison or something?â
She waved her hand. âPashaw, I can take care of this. Oh, if you want to fight with me I wouldnât object though.â She cracked her knuckles before flexing in front of me. âIâm the one that taught your momma how to fight, you know.â
âI just got cleaned up, and zombies tend to squish when I hit them, itâs really gross, and gets messyâ¦â I looked at her again. Maraâs scarred body was intimidating⦠But not nearly as scary as hers, which had no doubt seen more Battles, and had almost no scars to speak ofâ¦
âOh no donât worry about all that, theyâve only been dead a couple of days so itâll be just like fighting humans. And if you donât want your clothes getting dirty just take them off.â
âR-rightâ¦â I looked back over to the ridge. âShould we really be acting so casually?â As she stretched the sloppily wrapped cloth around her chest loosened until it was practically falling off and she didnât even seem to notice. âHow drunk is she?â I looked over to the empty bottles that must have combined to equal well over a gallon and let out another heavy sigh. âGramma come hereâ¦â I grumbled, helping her.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
âAh, right⦠Thanks, little one. Gotta keep these safe. Now that all the kids are grown up only Grandpa gets a taste of them.â
âOh my freakingâ¦â âUghâ¦â
As I was messing with it I looked over to see one of the said guards slowly turning around and felt my face heat up. âWHY AM I THE ONE THATâS EMBARESSEDâ¦â
âWait, Siya, why am I wearing pants? It just adds wind resistance when I move⦠Hmmâ¦Iâm sure there was a reason?â
After I finished wrapping her chest she bent over and grabbed another bottle⦠I wasnât sure if it was actually just her personality, or if she was hammered⦠But I grabbed the bottle and made her put it down just in case. âI think youâve had enough.â
âWhat, no I have to finish the last bottle, what do you mean?â
âWhat theâ¦â I let out another sigh. âBut then there wonât be any left to celebrate your victoryâ¦â
She paused, putting it down and patting my head. âYouâre right⦠Quite right. Good point.â
âThat actually worked?â âWait, grama⦠If they are mostly like people, doesnât that mean theyâll fight with their weapons instead of their teeth?â
She looked out over the ridge. âOh, yeah. Guess youâre right. They might even be able to talk. So I probably donât need clothes after all.â
I grabbed her hands as they started going to undo all of my work. âYouâre still fighting a bunch of men though⦠Bandits right?â
She tilted her head. âWell, sure. But they are undead. Their blood isnât flowing so itâs not like they canââ
I closed my eyes and shut her mouth with one hand. âDonât⦠Just⦠Stopâ¦â I sighed again. Admittedly I wasnât entirely sure what she was going to say next⦠But I had a strong feeling I didnât want to. âJust keep your clothes on please, otherwise itâll be hard for me to focus while Iâm fightingâ¦â
Her whole body slumped over slightly. âAh, yes. Right⦠Thatâs why Iâm wearing pants.â She walked past me to the fountain. âLetâs see, I think I have a weapon around here somewhere.â She pulled a large metal gauntlet covered in blood, rust, and spikes out from under the fountain. âI remember your mom telling me that kind of thing made you uncomfortable.â
âCan we just stop talking about thisâ¦â âSeriously⦠Youâre a worse drunk than my sisterâ¦â
âLittle Lu?â She strapped her gauntlet on, bending her fingers over and over to get used to it.
âNo not⦠Not that oneâ¦â âJust forget it. Do you have a sword?â
âNo, why would I have a sword? You can find your Grampas weapon over where he was smashing coal when you got here.â
âGrampas weapon?â âYou mean⦠The several hundred-pound hammer⦠Iâm a little girl grama!â
âHis weapon?â She repeated. âOh, I meant his hammer. Uh, the big one⦠No, you know. The thing he uses to smash rock, not the thing he uses to smash me.â
âIâm going to just pretend I didn't hear that last part.â
âAlthough ones about as strong as the otherââ
âGRAMMA, Just go kill the zombies! And then go take a cold shower or something⦠Geezâ¦â
She smiled brightly again, her cheeks still bright red, if not from the alcohol then from something else⦠After giving another thumbs up she turned and started walking towards the approaching raiders.
âThis woman is making me lose my mindâ¦â âHey, you there.â âJust in caseâ¦â âDid you hear all of that?â
âYes, Iâll let the others know donât worry. We will be on guard in case you miss any.â
âThatâs⦠Not really what I meantâ¦â âCan I borrow a sword?â
He pulled his sword from its sheet and walked closer. âDoes this mean you donât intend to use the lordâs hammer? Is there a reason? Ah, maybe you're just not strong enough quite yet, apologies.â
âDickâ¦â I sighed. âNo⦠Youâre right. Youâll need a weapon too in case something goes wrong right? Iâll use the hammerâ¦â âIs this really normal? No way right? Ugh⦠But I already said I would use it nowâ¦â
I walked back to the field and found the large hammer leaning against a giant tub of powerderized coal.
I slowly wrapped my small hands around it and even before picking it up I could feel its weight. The heavy metal felt like it had a soul of its own, or like I could feel the weight of how many souls it had taken. Even with my magic reinforcing my body the weight of the weapon felt like it made it hard to stand.
I didnât have time to change, but I had a feeling I would end up either fighting or training in some way if I continued hanging out with her, so I already had my chest wrapped just in case. Keeping my shirt clean was one reason to take it off, but it was also oversized, so it didnât feel great to move around in.
âSheâs not rubbing off on me, right? No⦠I have a legitimate reason for doing thisâ¦â I sighed, flipping the hammer up over my shoulder and feeling the ground tremble under my feet. A gust of wind brushed across my bare skin and after a short pause, I put the hammer down and put my shirt back on before heading out. âMaybe⦠Iâll just wash my clothes when Iâm doneâ¦â