I tried to meet up with my siblings. If nothing else I thought bragging about my fight and teasing Lu would help me relax. In the end, though they both went to bed early⦠I could still feel my face burning⦠And after the last time⦠I wasnât going to dare go near Finlo or Zu⦠If anything they would only make it worse. In fact⦠When I ran into them, I used my agility and reflexes to quickly hide and sneak awayâ¦
Finlo noticed me I think⦠But he didnât say anything. By the time I made it to the guest room I was staying in, I was too embarrassed to leave, and only afterward came to the realization that I never washed my clothes. Suddenly it didnât seem like such a big deal anymore.
The room had its own bathroom, so I just used the sink to wash off what little I got on me and try to clean the blood off my pants before it stained. I had taken a bath right before the fight, so my skin still felt clean. The clothes were custom-made for me, so by request the shirt was big and baggy, enough so that it was almost a dress in itself, making it not such a big deal to forgo pants altogether. I did feel like a bit of a hypocrite for doing that, considering how uncomfortable I was in my formal dress⦠But sleepwear was completely different. Besides, it wasnât like I was going to strut around town. I was going to sleep⦠And I definitely wasnât just saying it was different to avoid having to leave my room and grab my trunk of clothes⦠Which I left near the entranceâ¦
For the various compounding reasons listed, as well as the gore I witnessed, I hardly slept at all, marking yet another night of poor and scattered sleep. There wasnât a single thing that I could focus my mind on that put me at ease. Thinking about my grandparents led me down a rabbit hole that ended with what I imagined they were doing that very moment⦠Thinking about Zu led to embarrassment, and it was the same for Finlo. Thinking about my brother led me to think about Zu, and thinking about Lu led me to think about my grandma.
My chest felt hot⦠But it wasnât half as intense as before, leading me to think it was a normal reaction⦠Which of course only made it worse. My thoughts just ran in circles⦠Almost like⦠I wanted to think about those things⦠I slowly rubbed my hands down my face. âMaybe Iâm the one that needs a cold showerâ¦â With a deep sigh and a moment of hesitation, I used ice magic to cool off, nearly freezing myself to the bone because I used it expecting it to melt⦠And it didnât right away, only confirming that at the very least I wasnât being affected by the dragon.
Eventually, the time passedâ¦
When I woke up I felt like a complete mess. My hair was everywhere, my eyes were heavy, and I almost didnât even care about anything anymore. I was too tired to be embarrassed⦠Or to even think straight, or even move in a straight line⦠Still⦠Thanks to Mara my body wouldnât let me sleep past sunrise and oh⦠Believe me, I triedâ¦
After I dragged myself out of bed I walked down the hall to the main family's dining room meeting everyone else for breakfast. âIâm the last one here⦠I guess thatâs not surprisingâ¦â My eyes slowly scanned my siblings, feeling unreasonably betrayed by both of them as my gaze settled on my grandparents. Unlike me⦠Grama was practically glowing, despite how much alcohol she drank the night beforeâ¦
âWait, is that it⦠Am I hung over? There's no way right?â I took a deep breath and let out a small groan as I pushed my hair back out of my eyes. âDonât you have to get drunk to be hung over? No wait⦠Doesnât it have more to do with hydration or something? I drank plenty of water.â
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My grandfather cleared his throat. Carefully contemplating something as he stared at me in silence.
âIâm starting to understand how my mom feels when we talkâ¦â âSpit it out alreadyâ¦â I groaned. Annoyed, blaming him in part for my lack of sleep. Although thinking about it, it was hardly his fault as much as his wife's⦠But I was still annoyed.
He took a drink of water âYou should be more careful about what you wear outside of your room.â
I looked down, only then remembering I wasnât wearing pants, and just let out a sigh as my hair fell back into my face. Once again⦠I was honestly too tired to care. âItâs not like you can see my underwear⦠This is fine⦠Besides, only family is here, and⦠Wait a minuteâ¦â âTell that to your wifeâ¦â I grumbled as I sat down in between my siblings. âConcerned about my modesty when she changes Topps in the courtyard and fights naked⦠Donât even get me started about the way she talksâ¦â
âDressing like that really doesnât bother you?â Lu asked. From her face, I could tell she didnât mean anything by it, other than she was just a bit surprised.
I didnât even bother responding, just letting out another groan. âNot as much as everyone is talking about itâ¦â I took a large helping of food and poured a glass of milk, but the creamy scent of the milk smelled just like the alcohol and made me almost vomit as if my body was reacting to it like poison before I even drank it. âWhat the heckâ¦â
âYour grandmother is⦠An exception. Sheâs a grown woman, and married, so she can be more careless because Iâll protect her and take care of her when she gets drunk.â
âYeah, Iâm sure you took real good care of her.â I quickly shut my mouth. And laid my head face down on the table. âDid I really just say that? I think there's something wrong with meâ¦â
After a moment I slowly raised my back towards them to see my gramaâs cheeks turn red, although her mannerisms didnât change much. He couldnât look me in the eye anymore though. âThereâs nothing wrong with what Iâm wearingâ¦â I grumbled. âIâm not some⦠Some-â I couldnât even get the words out of my mouth, pausing for a moment. âoh⦠I get it now⦠Thatâs why it bothers me so much⦠I guess if thatâs how I look then thatâs how I look though⦠At least to them⦠Or at least in this culture maybe?â I sighed. âIâll go get changed after breakfastâ¦â
After a long silence, I looked back at them. I would have thought they would be happy I caved, but instead, he looked like he just lost an argument, and my grandma still clearly hadnât gotten over her embarrassment from the things that happened while she was drunk. It seemed a little odd, but⦠Then again I didnât actually know everything that she did⦠âYou should work on your arguments though⦠you're saying she can run around naked because you can protect her. I mean, ok⦠But I have Airsidh here.
My brother snorted almost choking, but waiting to interject till he absolutely had to.
âWell, whatever⦠Thatâs probably enough on that topicâ¦â âWhere was this sense of modesty when you went out into the woods and trained my sisterâ¦â âWhy am I still talkingâ¦â
âHey, leave me out of this! Thatâs completely different.â Lu interjected.
I sighed again. âNow Iâm just making everyone mad⦠I should just shut up.â âSorry, I guess I wasnât thereâ¦â
With a long groan and a roll of her eyes, my grama stood up. âOh come on, if itâs that important then she can just borrow my pants.â
Her husband grabbed her hand as she moved it towards her waistband, not even bothering to look. âPlease donâtâ¦â
âWhatâs wrong, I thought you were here to protect me.â She teased with a grin suddenly making everyone go quiet.
âWell, at least sheâs having funâ¦â I turned to my brother, deciding to force him into the conversation. Figuring his level head might finally end it. âThis is fine isnât it?â I muttered lifting my arms to look at the oversized sleeves, flip-flopping between extremely annoyed and unreasonably sad about how I was coming across.
He sighed, staring at me intently for a moment, only making me more nervous and giving me chills.
âWhat's he going to sayâ¦â