Chapter 14

“Hm?”

Emil Bordin’s eyes met Maxim’s face. A deep, neither warm nor cold, unfathomable gaze like the sea. Maxim faced that gaze head-on and never opened his mouth to the end.

“My, you’re quite the shy man. Maxim, haven’t I told you countless times.”

The corners of Emil Bordin’s mouth curled up again.

“With that lack of affability, you won’t be able to win a woman’s heart.”

“That’s enough.”

Before the last thread of reason snapped within Maxim, Theodora intervened. The shaded side of her platinum-blond hair was visible. Her tightly closed lips, slightly trembling, were visible. Her cheeks, which had been beautifully and purely shining, were pale.

Maxim couldn’t say a word. No, he didn’t. Even if he said anything now, Theodora wouldn’t hear it. No, each and every sentence, each and every word would become a needle and roughly pierce her ears. Maxim brought his hands behind his back. He clenched his fists too tightly. Blood was oozing from his nails digging into his flesh.

“My apologies, young lady.”

Emil Bordin spoke in a tone that didn’t sound apologetic at all.

“Ah, when do you plan to visit the estate? The Count Bening recently sent me a letter…”

“I’m not interested.”

Theodora cut him off and walked past the smiling Emil Bordin. Maxim couldn’t stop her. The platinum curtain was moving farther and farther away to a place he couldn’t reach. No, maybe it was always an unreachable mist.

Theodora walked away. Maxim couldn’t reach out his hand or call out to her retreating figure. Gradually, she grew smaller and smaller into the greenery of the garden.

“Your expression is truly wistful.”

Emil Bordin’s light voice was heard. He was mocking Maxim in a voice filled with utmost derision.

“If only you showed half of that expression to my daughter, how nice would that be.”

“…You.”

“Oh, wait a moment.”

Maxim looked at Emil. He was pretending to be nonchalant, perfectly acting like a court aristocrat. He swept his narrow eyes across the vast garden as if admiring the scenery.

“You have a sense of the atmosphere that this isn’t the place to talk, don’t you? Let’s move somewhere else to discuss.”

Emil Bordin took a step. The sound of his shoes tapping against the garden was revolting.

“You’re not following?”

Emil Bordin turned around and spoke to Maxim. He gritted his teeth but felt the urge to cut Emil for having no choice but to follow him.

Emil walked for about a minute and arrived under an angel statue. His eyes gleamed under the shade of the chestnut tree next to the statue.

“What do you want to say?”

Maxim asked in a stiff voice.

“Son-in-law, don’t keep speaking to me in that harsh tone.”

“If you call me son-in-law one more time, I’ll rip that pretty neck off your shoulders and attach it to your belly that’s eaten so much it’s about to burst.”

Emil smirked at Maxim. The kind secretarial court aristocrat was gone. Now, the real Emil, covered by a layer of shadow, took his place.

“My, I thought you had improved a bit, but your foul language is still the same.”

Emil slowly approached where Maxim was standing.

“I didn’t come here to argue, so why are you being so prickly?”

Maxim didn’t change his expression. Neither did Emil. He spoke to Maxim in a soft voice with a grinning face. Those emotionless eyes glinted like those of a reptile. As Maxim remained silent and stood still, Emil brought up the topic with a bitter expression, as if he had lost.

“So, the reason I called you here is to tell you to watch your mouth.”

Emil’s eyes turned toward the center of the garden where Theodora had headed.

“It’s a warning not to needlessly run your mouth and cause trouble.”

While knowing better than anyone that Maxim couldn’t do that, Emil emphasized it on purpose.

“I never thought you would be assigned to the same knight order as Lady Theodora, but it might actually be good.”

Emil tapped the ground with the heel of his shoe.

Tap, tap.

“Because now there’s an opportunity to make it even more certain.”

His smile deepened further.

“To make the young lady hate you.”

Maxim understood Emil’s intentions very well. He understood why he deliberately highlighted his relationship with Maxim to provoke Theodora, why he spoke in a friendly tone as if he liked Maxim, and why he further grated her nerves.

The wind blew, and a chestnut leaf rode the wind and flew into the garden’s sky. Emil caught the flying leaf, glared at it with narrow eyes, and continued speaking.

“Maxim, do you know? As memories pass, they become vague and ambiguous, and the good and the bad become entangled like a tangled thread.”

The leaf caught between Emil’s thumb and index finger spun around.

“Fundamentally, good memories rarely turn into bad ones. Once a memory is good, it tends to remain good until the end…”

Emil wrapped his hand around the twig. A light rustling sound came from his hand.

“However, bad memories fade and blur and eventually always end up turning into good memories. You will look at the past with nostalgia. That’s why memories are like tangled threads when you look back. They become so entangled that in the end, you can’t distinguish what was a good memory and what was a bad memory.”

Nausea rose in Maxim’s stomach again.

“It’s not just memories. The emotions you had with those memories are the same. The emotions you had at that time, was it anger, was it sadness? Was it joy, was it surprise? Was it love, was it a momentary tremble of infatuation… Now, before the boundaries blur and become tangled threads, you…”

Emil Bordin’s eyes met Maxim’s.

“Need to clearly define for Lady Theodora which one she should choose.”@@novelbin@@

Silence passed. Emil was still smiling.

“And Maxim. No matter how much Count Bening cherishes your courage, some lines must be maintained.”

Emil’s hand touched Maxim’s chest, precisely where his scar began.

“Don’t forget. Always live with that day in your heart.”

Poke.

Emil’s hand pressed on Maxim’s scar as he applied force. I felt no sensation.

“Don’t forget the promise made that day.”

“…Do you really call that a promise?”

Fierce hostility flickered in Maxim’s eyes. At his attitude, Emil burst into laughter.

“What else would you call it when two people agree and make a pact?”

Emil Bordin then swiftly turned around. It was as if he had lost all interest. He had somehow returned to being a court aristocrat. He calmly finished his words as if he had been talking about Maxim’s engagement from the beginning.

“So, come visit our house sometime. My daughter really wants to see you.”

==

Golden sunlight shone on the king’s garden. Theodora thought about what the king had said during the luncheon as she toured the garden following Emil’s guidance. The lush greenery that had grown luxuriantly, receiving the vitality of summer, was undoubtedly beautiful, but she couldn’t enjoy the sight.

“…This artificial pond was actually built during the previous king’s reign…”

Paola, Roberto, and Christine were in the front, while Theodora and Maxim were behind Emil.

Theodora knew Emil Bordin deliberately left only her and Maxim behind while guiding the group. Knowing the circumstances surrounding her and Maxim, his attitude toward separating them made her even more furious.

As Emil, who was walking ahead, confirmed that the rest of the knights were far enough away, he turned his head towards her.

“It’s been a while, young lady.”

Young lady.

Theodora glared at Emil Bordin, who called her by that irritating title.

“Yes, it’s been a while, Viscount Bordin.”

Emil Bordin bowed his head.

“I am late in greeting the young head of the main family. As a royal retainer, I had no choice but to unintentionally be rude. Please forgive me.”

But he’s already overflowing with rudeness even now.

“…Enough.”

I won’t fall for Emil’s intentions. Theodora closed her mouth with that determination. She wouldn’t be swayed by such petty provocations. She wanted to believe that Maxim’s affairs could no longer shake her.

“And…Maxim.”

Maxim’s name was spoken from Emil’s mouth.

“Isn’t there a different way you should address me as your ‘prospective father-in-law’?”

Maxim’s expression behind her wasn’t visible. Regardless of how his expression had changed, Theodora didn’t have the confidence to face him properly.

Don’t be shaken. But as soon as she confirmed how Emil addressed Maxim, she found herself trembling uncontrollably.

Haven’t you poked at the wound enough by coming here?

Theodora wanted to move her feet.

“My, you’re quite the shy man. Maxim, haven’t I told you countless times.”

The corners of Emil’s mouth curled up. Theodora watched that kind smile and gritted her teeth inwardly. She hated Emil talking like that. And she hated Maxim even more for standing behind her without saying a word. She wanted to leave. But her feet were stuck to the ground and wouldn’t move.

Move. It’s not like you want to hear what he has to say.

“With that lack of affability, you won’t be able to win a woman’s heart.”

She had to move. Theodora forcibly opened her tightly closed mouth and interrupted Emil’s words.

“That’s enough.”

With slightly raised eyebrows, Emil looked at Theodora, who had interrupted his words. Perhaps sensing her unusual mood, Emil didn’t say more and diffused the situation.

“My apologies, young lady.”

I’ll admit it, Maxim.

Theodora repeated inwardly.

No matter what I do, it seems I can’t help but be shaken by your name, by the actions you show, by your story.

How nice would it be if I could think of you as a stranger now? If the relationship is severed, if the feelings for that person could be severed along with it, how comfortable would that be?

He was a bastard. To her, he was the worst bastard in the world. Coming here was a mistake. She resented the situation, which left her no choice but to come.

“Ah, when do you plan to visit the estate? The Count Bening recently sent me a letter…”

Theodora decided to leave without even listening to the rest of Emil’s words. Her goal of not being shaken had already failed. Theodora hurried her steps into the garden, leaving Maxim behind.

“I’m not interested.”

As if talking to herself, she uttered the last words with emphasis.

==

It was night. As if to prove the clear sky during the day, stars densely embroidered the dark blue curtain. The Raven Knight Order’s headquarters was located much higher than the average elevation of the Royal Capital. On a night when the stars were particularly visible, the window in the second-floor corridor of the headquarters was an excellent spot for stargazing.

“…There are a lot of stars out.”

Maxim hadn’t left work yet. Today’s visit to the palace had re-engraved too many things for him. He stared blankly at the locked Commander’s office and moved his feet again. Most of the supplies within the Raven Knight Order had been organized to depart for the front lines the next day. The spotlessly empty main building felt unfamiliar.

Didn’t they say they would completely demolish and use it for a different site?

Maxim lightly touched the wall of the main building.

His mouth tasted bitter.

He had prepared for a lot, but a person’s resolution always falls short of reality. Today’s conversation with Emil Bordin was like that. He knew such a day would come eventually, but Emil was too great for Maxim to endure today’s conversation.

Maxim sighed. Before he knew it, he had arrived before the Vice Commander’s office. He habitually placed his hand on the doorknob of the closed Vice Commander’s office and turned it open. The familiar sight of the office he had become accustomed to came into view.

Maxim sat at the old chair and desk in the center of the Vice Commander’s office, as always. It wasn’t time to think. It was time not to think. And as always, the office desk was the perfect place for him to spend time without thinking.

Moonlight seeped in through the window. Maxim blankly watched his shadow that repeatedly lengthened and shortened. It was then that he sensed a presence outside the door. The footsteps grew closer to the Vice Commander’s office and stopped before it.

Click.

“…Oh, Vice Comm…no, Senior?”

The one who appeared from behind the door was Christine. Her hair was tied back and she was wearing casual clothes. Maxim hurriedly sat up straight in surprise.

“Christine? What brings you to the headquarters all of a sudden?”

“I came to put the key back… Why are you here, Senior?”

Maxim, at a loss for words, repeatedly raised and lowered his hand.

“Just… Since we’re leaving here tomorrow, I thought I’d take one last look.”

Christine narrowed her eyes as she looked at Maxim.

“Is that really true? You don’t have any lingering attachments here.”

Christine chuckled and approached Maxim, who was sitting in the swiveled chair. He weakly smiled as he looked at Christine in casual attire.

“Why do you look so down?”

“What do you mean down? I’m full of energy.”

Christine silently gazed at her senior. He sometimes made this kind of forced effort. At times like this, if she silently made eye contact and looked at his face like this, he would give in and reveal his true feelings.

“…Yeah, I’m feeling a bit down. Why?”

Christine smiled with a soft “heh.” Maxim smiled back at her.

“You seem to be in a good mood?”

“Yes. I’m feeling a bit good. So today, I’ll especially comfort you, Senior.”

“No thanks. It’s late, so hurry up and go ho…”

Hug.

Maxim’s words didn’t finish.

His face was buried in Christine’s embrace. A faint scent of daffodils wafted.

“…Hey…”

“I can’t hear you well. Could you say that again?”

As Christine played dumb, Maxim tried to break free with a bit of force, but she slightly tightened her arms and stopped him from pulling away. When Maxim’s resistance ceased, Christine tried stroking his brown hair, which had a slight curl. Strands of his hair poked out between Christine’s fingers.

“Senior, do you know that you always become gloomy like this when it comes to matters related to the Commander?”

“…”

As Maxim remained silent, Christine released him. Maxim looked at her with a slightly reddened face. Seeing his furrowed brows, she laughed.

“You won’t tell me, right?”

Maxim let out a deep sigh. How did things turn out this way?

“… She’s my girlfriend.”

Upon hearing Maxim’s words, Christine’s smile changed to a serene one.

“What, why?”

“No. I had a feeling it was something like that.”

Christine recalled Maxim’s eyes as he gazed at Theodora. Those eyes filled with a tremor she had never seen before, filled with deep, deep emotions.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re not going to ask more?”

“Would you like me to ask more?”

At Christine’s words, Maxim shook his head with a bitter smile.

“…No.”

“I thought so.”

“You’re strange too.”

Christine changed her smile once more.

“I suppose so.”

Very quietly so that Maxim, who was smiling with his head down, wouldn’t notice.

“I don’t quite understand myself either.”