When it's time to leave, the kids gave him a kiss on the cheek before
running towards the car.
They didn't want to go but Matteo has to persuade them that he's
coming over to pick them up. I turn to walk away when his voice stops
me in mid way.
"Why can't we start over?" he said but I was just standing there not
replying or turn back to him.
"Can we start over please?" he repeated himself and I was just too
dumb to move my legs.
"Why couldn't we do that Addasah?" I felt him behind me his breath
warming my neck then his hands snaking around my waist.
He took a deep breath as if he was sniffling my scent. It has been so
long since I could feel his warmth and comforting hands on my skin.
This is something I knew I miss throughout the years, the feeling of him
near me.
I might be so happy right now but I have to admit that my heart is not
fully free from him.
Our nights and beautiful moments together are memories that I always
cherish forever in my heart.
Him touching me right now ignite the fire and spur up those feelings I
have never felt fir anyone. I may have try but in the end it is not what I
always want.
I felt his head lay on my shoulder as he shudder then I felt something
wetting my bare skin. His tears were slowly dropping on my exposed
shoulder
"I want to be in their lives, to start over with them," he said squeezeing
my waist lightly.
I gasp with moans escaping my lips but I zip my lips together quickly. I
was to respond that nothing is holding him back from seeing his sons
but his next words twist the key to my heart.
"But I can't start over with them if you're not in it. Please amore. I want
all of my family together completely,â he whisper with his hold tighten
around my waist.
He is not hurting me but it is an embrace of someone who is desperate
for another chance. It really do sound like someone who needs saving.
I think he definitely need it as seeing him in such dishevelled state tells
it all but 1 am not sure if I'm the one who he needs.
My eyes started to water, and I tried to not be weak in front of him but
I guess 5 years wasn't enough for me.
As my heart still aches for all of him too.
The key that has been locking my heart has slowly twist and turns until
it's completely unlocked
âAm I being too selfish I always ask that to Alera and myself for all
those years.
"I can't Matteo, you know we can't anymore" I took away his hands
from my waist and turn to face him which is probably a mistake that I
don't think I will regret.
"Addasah, please I let you slip out of my hands five years. Five years
we've been apart. Why can't we be together then please. Let's start
over, not just us together but with our kids too," he begs with his eyes
filled with tears that were about to fall.2
I reach up and caress his face with my hand in which he leans towards
my touch. Maybe I am too stupid to do this but I think our kids is now
our priority.
We cannot be selfish anymore "I am happy Matteo, I really am,â he
slowly opens his eyes.
I was taking my time in deciding what I want to do next and I know
what I'm going to say to him now determines not just my happiness
but also my kids happiness.
"but we're not all happy without you. Then I say we will start over," his
tears flow from his eyes and I wipe them off.1
They said a big person with a bigger heart will not only forgive but
forget and move forward and that's exactly what I want.
I may be truly happy right now but there were times I find myself lonely
without him cause he gave me happiness when I have no memories of
our past.
I took a step backwards "but not now Matteo. I just don't need time but
I need us to take it slow. Slow is a pace you need to take if I am to start
over with you. So can you live through that.?"2
He held my hands together with tears in his eyes "yes I would love
that."
His gloomy face and dark shades that were under his eyes has now
long gone and replaced with glow and happiness.
I knew I did the right thing and I guess I always do. I close our distance
again and gave him a hug patting him on the shoulder as he finally let
out another cry.
After a while we pull away and he wipe off his tears smiling at me.
"You can come tomorrow to take the kids and not forgetting we need
to talk. Not for the past but what happens within the five years we miss
out on each other."
He smile nodding yes and I walk back to the car bidding him farewell
for now.
4 months later
I sat on the grass with my hands running on Matteo's hair while
watching our pups played on familiar fields with my grandma and
Wesley.
I smiled at the memories of how we get here today as a one happy
family.
After that day, him and I had a really long talk which I was sad to
discover the misfortune of Quinn and the death of Jona.
He share to me all of his nightmares and how his life was since I left. I
was sad when I realised on that day that my story was more merrier and
jolly than his.
Despite that I never interrupted him as I want to hear all of it. It would
be a lie if I say I didn't cry because truth is we were both in a mess on
that day.
We didn't care of any barriers or anything else but we just let
everything out in the open.
So when he was done and it was my turn I then told him all about my
life within those five years.
How I convinced and made everyone dare not to tell him of our sons
and how I become the substitute luna of the Owslebury Pack.
And that is how we start over, then he went to mebd things with my
grandma and few other people.
Slowly we began our journey of starting over and here we are now
happily in each others arms.
Matteo sat up and I lean my head on his shoulder. I saw Gia waving at
me with Ed on her side and their son running over to my kids on the
field.
Behind them stood Jay who frown at his Mate talking to another pack
member and Evan's mate.
I avert my gaze to the left and saw Lorentz sitting on the grass while
the crippled Quinn play with his hair, smiling at what he is saying.
They both look happy and it's been a month since he returned back. It
was actually Matteo and I who went to him and brought him back.
I couldn't stand the sight of her being unhappy even though she has
done wrong in the past but she deserves happiness too. She has
already apologized and paid for it.3
So we're on good terms. Now they look as happy as ever like our other
pack members around us.
Matthew and Mason runs in our way tackling the both of us down. We
tickle them making them both giggle before escaping from our holds
once again and went back to my grandma and Wes.
I look back again and I came to face with his green eyes.
I smile while intertwining our fingers together, knowing that I am not
gazing into the eyes of a lying Alpha but in the eyes of my home and
happiness.