It was finally today, my mom's funeral and first time since I got out of
the hospital I woke up before breaking dawn.
I find my brother not sleeping beside me. Taking in the scent in my
room I knew my dad must have took him to his room.
My speculations were confirmed when I find him sleeping peacefully in
my dad's arms.
My lips stretch out into a smile seeing my dad finally at home.
"Addasahâ my heart panic when I heard a voice similar to my mom's
voice.
No it sounded like her, it must be her because there can't be two her in
this world.
"Oh my gosh, is she alive?" I swirl around wishing and hoping it's true
unfortunately it wasn't.
"Grandma" I run into her arms hugging her tightly.
It's been so long since I haven't seen her "Oh my poor child" she kiss
me on the forehead.
"When did you arrive?" I ask while she still hug me to her side as we
walk downstairs.
We settled on a couch and I snuggle closer to her.
"Child I swear you're getting heavier" she dramatically try to push me
off before she pulls me in her arms again.
"We came around 10 and you were sleeping like a damn child and yet
you're not, Wesley is the baby here" she jokingly says while brushing
my hair with her fingers.
I listen as she talks "your dad pick me up today. Actually he came on
the day after the attack telling me of your mom's deathâ
I became stiff in her arms, not wanting to hear the word gone.
Then I heard her sniffles "my baby girl" she sobs "I wanted to come
right away for you but I was in denial of her death. Addasah your mom
was my only child. She was my everything and hearing her pass away I
just couldn't bring myself to believe it"
I pushes away my emotions that were about to surface and snuggle
closer to her giving her comfort.
"So I wanted to become strong first before coming here for you. I
needed to and I'm sorry if it offends you somehow.â
I just held onto her still refusing to cry I need to be strong for all of
them.
I didn't know when I fell back to sleep but when I woke up I was
sleeping on the couch with a blanket over me.
I push it away folding it neatly and follow a delicious scent coming from
the kitchen.
I saw my dad already dress in black holding Wesley in his arms.
I'm more surprised to see women's working around the kitchen with my
grandma. She links me that Alpha let them come to help out.
"Addasah you need to be readyâ
I nodded at my dad and went to clean the house neatly even though
everything was already set.
I felt like I was a bad daughter with everyone setting things for my
mom's funeral while me the daughter just stupidly sit around in my
own world.6
Everyone in the pack were coming and they all relay their condolences
to my dad.
I stood by the window looking outside of the house after getting ready.
Some of them I never knew of just only Gia, her brother Evan and Cora
who came today with Jem.
Her funeral ceremony was held at our ancient pack house that also
known as a prayer house for the moon goddess.
Afterwards we then move towards the cemetery for her final moments.
I watches my mom's photos in her teen years and the one with me and
dad surrounding her glass casket which is decorated with rubies and
emeralds diamonds.
I never cry I comfort my dad who was holding Wesley in his arms with
my grandma on his other side.2
Matteo concluded the ceremony by throwing roses on her casket
before he howls towards the sky above.
Then howls of warriors in their wolfs were heard followed by the howls
of everyone at the funeral.
It was a way of respect to pay tribute to any fallen werewolf warriors
One by one everyone went to throw in their flowers. I was the last one
to be there.
I took a deep breath taking in every last inch of her and painted her in
my head.
When it's all over and she is buried underground my father look at me
and he knew I needed this.
He left me there by myself and I bid my friends goodbye.
Loving mother and mate:
Forever will be remembered,
Forever you remain in our heart
Forever is our home with you.
I mumble the words engraved on her headstone.
Right when everyone is out of sight and have gone back to their home.
I felt my walls came tumbling down immediately
All my scars are open with my body being torn and my soul being
stripped bare in front of her.2
All the emotions that I have bottle up and buried beneath my core are
now dug up. Here I am finally facing it all and ready to be let out.
There were so many things I wanted to tell her but all I could think of
now is;
"I wish you're still here mom" slowly a lone tear made it to my cheek.
I may not remember everything but I do remember the time I was
happy.
From my younger years to the time I was ready to become a lady.
I remember my mom holding me in her arms, her scolding, her kisses
on my cheek and the way she care for me.
She is my infinity best friend the one that no friends of mine can
replace in my heart.
The more I thought of my mom, the more tears burst from my eyes and
my body began to shook violently.
For the first time since I woke up I mutter "Mom" my voice broke into
sobs.
"Mom"
I try to say what I wanted her to hear but I couldn't as I just sob out
loudly.
"Mom"
Why can't I say what I want? Why is it so hard to talk.
Damn this tears! damn this stupid heart, for not letting me say it.
I beat on my heart vigorously
"I... I" sobs again "I love you mom"
I sobs and my body ready to crumble on the ground instead two arms
snake around my waist keeping me up.
Sparks ignite through my body, I thought everyone was gone. I lean
back on his chest with my back against his front.
Slowly we went down on the ground with him still holding me and me
in loud sobs while trying to tore away from him and scraping on my
skin especially my heart.
His tears wet my shoulders as he held me. I lean back crying out loud
while still scratching at my skin
As if the abide of the goddess above felt my sorrow the sky turns grey
and rain pour on us while I cry there in the arms of my mate.
I keep on shouting at her to wake up and come back to life.
I keep on begging and begging for her to come back with my fist
hitting the soil.
Her death is still unacceptable
I can't accept that she's gone
Matteo didn't say anything as he just held me back close to his chest
with his head in the crook of my neck.
"Please mom, I can't do this without you" I shouted in tears
"Please, I don't remember if I ever told you I love you" I keep on
sobbing with hopes she'll just come back to life.
"Please mom"
My vision turns blur and after losing my energy in my tears. I felt my
shoulders heave and my body going lump in his arms
And just like that I was gone as a feather, still begging for my mom to
come back to us.