Guilt

Matteo's Pov

I took a sip of my alcohol in my office and when I couldn't get enough

of it. I threw it against the wall before breaking down to myself.

I hate it when I am lying to her.

Everything is a lie and I can't pretend that everything was fine in the

beginning between the two of us.

This lie I'm living with her is fucking me up especially when I am

expecting a pup from someone else soon.

How am I going to explain everything to her that I truly love her but

circumstances just change the cause of everything.3

I took a sip again from another bottle of pure vodka on my desk and

thought of our moments back in her room.

The way she looks at me tonight was so innocent and so pure that I am

doubting myself in doing this to her.

Maybe I should just tell her the truth yet the events of that night and

the consequences of it all is restraining me from telling it to her.

The door opens to my office and I saw Lyndon coming inside without a

knock. He lock the door then came and sat before me.

It's funny this reminds me of that night when he made a request to me.

Since we most likely are going to talk tonight I put up a barrier to our

link with the pack and press on the button below my desk. It is to make

sure the room is secure and is sound proof from any werewolf hearing.

There was a pregnant pause before he speak "I haven't told you the

whole truth about Addasah’s conditions. Yes I have told you but not

entirely,” Lyndon took my vodka and took a long sip.

"Wooow! you're not the only one guilty here" he shook his head then

gaze at me straight.

"I wipe off Addasah’'s memories by compelling her because she was

dying," he blurted and I sat there in shock not believing what he is

saying.

"I'm sorry what did you do to her?"

This man is insane how could he do that to his own daughter. I mean

he shouldn't have wipe off her memories.

I thought she just lose it after losing most of her blood during their

fight and went into concussion.

"How could you do that to her? I mean how can you wipe off her

memories, is this is why you gave me an ultimate back the?" I ended up

shouting at him hitting my fist on the desk.

"Don't you dare Alpha" he hiss back with a warning look.

"For your selfishness your daughter is living a fucking lie and her

fucking ass mate is lying to her right now even though it's killing me," I

pointed to my chest with so much hurt.7

He was quick to slam my back against the wall with his elbow to my

throat.

His eyes were changing from his self, to his wolf then to his vampire

side. I could have fought back but he is my mates father and I don't one

to overstepped my boundaries.

"Choose your words wisely because I won't hesitate to kill you bastard”

he let go of me and I choke on the floor.

"Addasah woke up turning feral and you know we talk about it after

finding out she lost her memories and what I said back then wasn't an

ultimate but basically I ask you a favour.”

I sob thinking back on that night.

Flashback back:

"You know I can't do this anymore Lyndon. Your daughter will

practically hate me for doing this to her,” Lyndon look at me as if I am

his prey tonight.

"I know but she's my daughter and I know her so well Alpha," Lyndon

seems so sure to himself.

"What if she remembers everything?" I began to panic

"no she won't" he reaffirm.

"What do you mean?” I ask him with confused.

"Matteo you have no idea what I have done tonight to my daughter.

What I did is unforgivable" he sigh rubbing his face with his hands then

I heard him sob.

"I won't blame you for everything as I admit. Me as a parent fails too.

My family living this life is my fault and the consequences of my actions

in the past is losing my family. I just lost my mate but not my

daughter.”

He stood up wiping his tears "you should have seen her when she woke

up and finding out her mother is gone" he shook his head and by looks

of it he seems a little scared for a moment.

"Addasah is not a hybrid but tonight she wasn't a human anymore. The

murderous look in her eyes and her vow of killing each and everyone in

this pack tonight is something I wish not to see in her. I have done

everything to restrain her from doing so."

I stagger back to my seat no knowing what to say at what I'm just

hearing now

"There was no Addasah but the wild animal who wants nothing but

blood"

I gasp for air hearing my mate turning feral and it's all my fault.

" know it's shocking to find her losing her memories but Alpha you

need to be there for her and that's all I'm asking for you to do Matteo

nothing more.”

"What if she remembers?” I ask again

"just hope she won't” was his reply.

"Alpha if you tell her now I won't guarantee her being a normal wolf

anymore. My daughter can't be turn into that thing” he pleaded me

with his eyes and words.6

In the end I say yes I'll just keep our past hidden and just play along like

I haven't wrong her in the past.

After that horrible night I call a meeting for my pack members and

make sure that everyone who were present that night of the Ball was

attending.

So I confess to everyone that night that Quinn isn't my mate. Some

were surprised and some weren't at all.

Most pack members were disappointed but in the end they all try to

understand me and my reasons.

I told them about my mates condition and reprimanded everyone from

slipping anything to her.

I didn't tell them that she was turning feral. No I didn't want them to

know about that part of her life or anything else. It just the part that she

has lost her memories.

They all take an oath not to utter any words of the past to her even my

relationship with Quinn until I tell her myself.

Addasah needs time to heal and this maybe the best solution for now.

Flashback Ends

"She could have die after that night. The human Addasah could have

been killed by her own wolf."

Lyndon nod his head in sadness

"If 1 didn't fought hard that night with her wolf and compel her, wiping

off all her memories from eighteen to onwards. My daughter wouldn't

be here to today"

Looking at her broken father in my office wiping off his tears I felt

myself drowning even more.

"You know this war between my best friend and your father is going to

end with one of us dying. Yet if that ever happens I want to confess

everything to my daughter before I die, hopefully not too soon” he sigh

out heavily.

"Addasah and her wolf hasn't fully recovered yet. It will take longer for

them" he says

"how long?" I press on

"I don't know and that's why I'm restraining her from remembering it

after two or three years."4

He rub his face "I know you're guilty. I am guilty too but not now

Matteo. I'm telling you tonight, tomorrow and this whole year is not a

good time to tell her. I'm saying this because I'm still checking on her

progress and sense her wolf's stability.”

He patted me on the shoulder "please Matteo you need to be there for

her and I'm counting on you"

He left me there and I sat in my office for another hour beating on my

heart as I can't do this to her but I'll try since she's at risk with her wolf

here.

I heard shouting outside the office door. Opening it up I saw Jay

carrying Quinn in his arm.

I then mindlink him "what is going on?" I ask+

"Alpha, she's going into labour."