Matt has gather everyone today, including Gia, who came back a day
after I discover the truth.
Quinn, Lorents and Jay are also here.
He said a day ago he has something to tell me today. So here I am
watching the people whom I thought were my rock and sanity making
jokes around me.
I look at Matt who seems to be nervous of something but I just ignore
it and whispered in a low voice asking them if it was fun seeing me like
this.
None of them answers my question. It was all been ignore and they
keep on smiling to one another.
My eyes now burn with tears as deep down inside of me I'm breaking
limp by limp.
No one has ever told me the truth and I know it's been three days after
but still I couldn't handle the hurt and pain I'm living through.
It was so stupid of me to think that after that night I could walk away
but I couldn't so I stay and waited for anyone to tell me especially
Matteo.
I have been giving him hint question yet he always brush it aside and
today I ask them awhile and again they seems to ignore the question.
Closing my eyes I held my fist tighten 'l am sick of pretendingâ I whisper
then I reopen them again.
"How can you all do it?" they were still laughing at Jay jokes. I raise my
voice and try again "how do you all do it?"
Finally all their attention were on me now. Matteo seeing me in an
emotional state tries to move but I raised my right hand to stop him
"Is it fun watching me?" they seems to be confused my tears now burn
within my eyes and slowly they drop down to my cheeks. "Was it fun
watching me acting like a lost puppy?â I try not to take a breath at the
same time.2
"It must have been fun, since you're all laughing right?" I try to wipe off
my tears.1
"When we're you going to tell me Gia!? I thought we're best friends.
What about you huh Matt? that you never loved me, that you always
belong with her. You being with me was because you could use me" he
didn't move or say anything none of them did.4
I guess I have taken them by surprise now. They just kept on standing
there in shock watching me drowning in my own misery. No one dare
to comfort or even reach out.
My expression slightly changes and deep down inside I was hurting,
angry, upset, disappointed and worst I felt betray not only by him but
everyone that I thought were my friends.4
"When were you'll all going to tell me?" again no one, not even one
single soul answer "when? huh" I ended up shouting at them
"was it before my memories recover or you were never gonna let me
know" I kept sobbing and I rub my arms around myself.
"You all shouldn't pretend to care or fake your love for me," looking at
him "you out of all people shouldn't do it"
"That's not true please believe" he tries to reach our for me but I took a
step backwards.
"Believe?" I laugh slightly "now everything makes sense now, thank you
and no thank you for your fake love"
"that's not true I truly love you. It wasn't fake, please Addy believe meâ
he raises his voice more like shouting at me.
"What Matteo? When did you ever truly not lie or even sincerely love
me. Because if you did I wouldn't be asking you right now for the truth
and because if you did you wouldn't taken all of me and piece by piece
you broke me" that cause him to shut up.
He clenched his fist with frustration "you don't know how much I love
you" he says in a low voice but I did hear him.
"You love me?" I cry out loud and repeatedly say those words which
made me sick "so now you love me."
"Yes I am fucking crazy in love with you" he shouted pleading to me
with tears burst from his eyes.
I nodded my head in disbelief "the man who use me then now loves
me. The man who bit, humiliated me now loves me" I wipe off my tears.
"The one who made false promises to me after that night loves me, the
one whom I returned after four years and was with the girl he love
along with a child now loves me" I shut my eyes
"are you sure it's love or just your infatuation now sheâs with her mate
and you have no option as I'm the only one availableâ I kept on
sobbing and couldn't say anymore
"thatâs not true,â he shouted out while crying.
"I swear I fell in love with you way before the Ball night. I do love you
and I meant every promises I made" he tries to convince but I just can't
believe it anymore. In my head us is far from over.
"Mommy" a cheerful voice was heard, my heart no longer beats neither
my eyes went up to look at the child, that I grown to attached to. The
one who was birth from their love.
The child I remember he probably doesn't regret meaning he didn't
regret loving her and maybe he did with me.
I held my hand to my mouth suppressing my cry to be heard, my head
still in bow.
"Hey, Rue can you please take him outside with you" I heard her voice
and then the child's jolly laugh.
Her voice is the one I despise, that makes me sick and hated the most. I
wanted to reach out and kill her, or bitch slap her. Yet I know she's not
worth any ounce of my strength and energy, even my breath.3
I wipe off my tears looking up at Matteo "I bet you never know what it
feels like to be in my situation,â he shook his head no at me while in
tears but I just couldn't hold back anymore.
I am badly, savagely slain not only all over my body but my whole
being that I couldn't stop the bleeding and to hear any of their
explanation.
"You would never know how I die from you choosing her at first, you
loving her, you having a kid with her. You would never know what it
feels like because you have never been there," wiping off my falling
tears I stood up taking a look around.
"It's must have been so good to be blessed by the moon goddess, to
have everything you desire," I said to Quinn who just stood there
sobbing.
"I bet if I was mark by someone else, bedded by-"
"please stop" he beg me through his tears but I continue "have a pupâ
"please stop" he scream at me with his tears "I fucking love you, please
believe me and just stop.â
I laugh a little "did you ever stop when you were hurting me" that
caught him off guard. "Did you ever stop lying to me?"
He fell on his knees begging me that he regrets everything he did and
him and her were all in the past and he was wrong to do. He begs me
that he would make it up to me for all those times he hurt me.
This very moment love may win. Love will urge you to forgive, forget,
give time to heal. To fight for what is rightfully yours and to slowly heal
from it all. They say love conquers it all yet what if that love was all fake.
Therefore for me I just couldn't let it be despite my sincere feelings and
my wolf's whimper I push it all away and turn my wrath on them. My
last words to be imprinted in their heads.
I was like a lost wounded creature with no one to soothe or heal the
gushing wounds all over me.
"You know what? It's okay, I'll be okay. Damn you all for what you did to
me. I Curse you, I'll never forget what you did and I'll never, never want
to see all of you ever again. So spare your fucking words and"
I began pointing at her and everyone around saying
"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck everyone in this house and fuck the moon
goddess for pairing me up with you" I pointed at him at last before
walking upstairs to our room.
"Addasahâ I heard him screaming in pain for me then I heard
commotion from downstairs but I didn't stop anymore.
Closing the door and slowly I slide down against it crying to myself
while beating on my poor aching, broken heart.
When I was done I pack my clothes in a duffle bag then jump out of the
window. Crying through the night, sensing for a place to belong to and
out of this hell I go.