it's 2:30 am
and my self hatred
claws its way
up my throat
and rips itself
away from my mouth
in a silent scream
always the second choice,
forever the second choice
i am alone
it is always natalie,
forever natalie
what about me?
this isn't about you,
this is about me
i am alone
you were
a lighthouse, yes
but even the
best of the lighthouses
cannot save a ship
destined for the rocks
the ship
is doomed
to sink
s i n k
i am alone
when the blade
parts my skin
when the cuts
get deeper
there is no one
there is no you
i am alone
when all the haze
of lies
lifts away
and the only
real thing is
the blood
running down
my arms
i realize
the truth
i am alone
.
a/n : self harm is BAD. i am not trying to romanticise hurting yourself here. she is tired of being the second choice, always, all the time. she is tired, and yes, depressed and stupid too. and the whole point of the book is for her to learn and grow. think of this as a part of progress. i am sorry if i have offended anyone. i am still a beginner and i am learning myself.