*Forty-Seven*

Over the holidays, I avoided Finn as best as possible, he went on lots of 'drug runs' as I'd like to call it, he also called me a lot, by with which I'd simply just pick up the phone and Inform him that I was busy. Busy either; - sleeping eating, watching series, working at the café and catching up on school work. My work had been good despite a lot of key factors that could have potentially caused my grades to fluctuate –fluctuate downhill at least, or even just based on the fact that my mind for the entire duration of most of this year had been everywhere but on school work, in fact one thing comes to mind, or one person specifically to say in the least ... which was unnerving because when I was apart from him, my mind was flooded with nothing but him

But not in the; 'I'm in a relationship and I'm obsessed with the other person', more like was he alive? Was he doing okay? Was he shooting at people? Did the cops find his lovely little container? Was he in prison right now? Were the cops on their way right now to come and arrest me?

Which was why I knew I could've done better if I had actually spent some time with my schoolwork which was precisely why I had decided to attend chemistry, physics and math classes in the December break because me being the queen of procrastination and laziness; I knew I wouldn't sit with my work of my own accord, so I made a step to go and do something about it, even if all my 'step' consisted of right now was an intention which I hoped was not going to turn out to be null and void. My future did mean something to me mind you

Even though it might not have sounded like it, I mean I was in a sort of entanglement with a boy who was well older than me by a few years, not only was this boy older, but he was a 21 year old criminal, high school dropout who seemed to have no general direction of where he was going with his life, who had also pursued selling dope as way of earning a livelihood, and the absolute cherry on top was that he sold drugs in bulk now as well.

I didn't even want to know what my parents would think if they had known how drastically my life course had changed in a small duration of just a couple of months, besides the fact that I was supposedly dating every parent's worst nightmare for their kid, I had started selling drugs with my convict of a 'boyfriend', and underage drinking, drug consumption, among other things.

I admit saying this out loud made it sound like I had literally fallen off the actual deep end, but did saying all of this make me want to sever all ties with Finn?

Nope

I know crazy, -who is this and can we have Emily back?

I didn't think I was that selfish that I was sticking around to just reap the benefits, I think I must have had an inkling of a care for Finn Windel, because that would explain why my mind seemed to think rarely of anything/anyone else

I knew he did reckless things, thing's that didn't help me sleep easier at night, Which was why that even on my Finn purge I let him climb through the window and lie in my bed until the next morning

I found my seat in chemistry class. Our chemistry teacher was an old man who had done really well in university, like exceptionally well, he had come 8th place in the country for physics and chemistry but he had decided to waste his future potential and life by becoming a high school teacher, teaching teenagers who didn't necessarily value him the way our headmaster clearly did.

Mr Royce's passion stemmed so deep that he offered extra classes in the holiday to whoever wanted to waste a huge chunk of their holidays within the walls of crescent oaks high

But I guess it wasn't all bad, because when you came back to school the following year, the work would be somewhat easier.

Of course previously I never attended the December break classes, I did well enough that I didn't need to, usually the only people who attended were; wannabe teacher's pets, nerds and over achievers.

I have previously explained that the only reason I needed to be here, was because I felt guilty for sort of wasting a year, despite everything that was happening around me, I still relied on going to university as my actual ticket out of here

And I needed to do well in high school to secure that dream

Which was why I was here crammed in the back of Mr Royce's class on a Monday morning, and might I add the classroom was thriving with geeks of all shapes, colours and sizes

Like an all you can eat geek buffet

Proving my point, call-me Collin walked into the classroom

What's he doing here?

Uh, who am I kidding he was the definition of a geek

I didn't look up until I saw him slip into the seat next to mine and I slid further into my seat

He didn't notice me which was great; I could feel him next to me rummaging through his belongings for lord knows what

''hey.... Hey'' he hush-whispered

I didn't look up I didn't want him to see me

''halloo'' he began again

God he was persistent

''yeah'' I hush whispered back still not looking up

''You have a spare pencil maybe?''

I considered saying no, firstly because I hated sharing stationary because people seemed to forget to return it, and because he would definitely see me then but there was my damned sparkly see-through pencil bag sitting on my desk laughing at me

Normally I was smarter about these things and I put my pencil bag away immediately after I took mine out to prevent these things from happening, but I hadn't exactly expected this to happen

I huffed out a breath, pulled out my least favourite pencil; yes I'm a stationary control freak

I held it out for him to take

''Emily'' he asked taking the pencil and holding on a little bit longer than necessary

''Call-me-Collin?'' I asked in turn matching his tone of surprise

He smiled

''wow, I did not expect you to be here'' call-me-Collin admitted and I hated the way he said it

''Well here I am, in the flesh'' I said pretending to not be as offended

''Like not in a rude way, like you wouldn't be here –'' call-me-Collin began, but quickly stopped when he sensed my displeasure

I looked to him, visibly now wanting to kill myself

''I'm making it worse aren't I?'' he asked

''kinda'' I said nodding

I ignored him pretty much the rest of the class, until he brought my pencil to me at the end of the period

''Thank you '' call-me-Collin said handing over my pineapple pencil

''No problem'' I answered, shrugging off one of my backpack straps so that I could reach my pencil bag

''Finn picking you up?'' he asked

I looked to him, the fact that he would ask this implied that he knew Finn sort of picked me up on a regular

I frowned

''No, just because he usually does – '' he started trying to salvage whatever he thought he just messed up

I stayed silent

''oh no, this is another one of those things that I –''

I cut him short

''No he is not'' I stated firmly

''Oh'' is what he responded with on hearing this

''You make it seem like I live with him'' I added

He smiled, then stopped smiling instantly like someone had just turned off his smile-switch ''Do you live with him?'' call-me-Collin asked as if making sure

''No!'' I said way too enthusiastically

''Not that it's any of my business'' he added

I shook my head

''it's okay, no I don't live with him'' I asserted

He nodded, I didn't care what he thought of me, or maybe I did?

''I'd love to know what you think my life is all about, because in the handful times we have spoken the conversation somehow always goes back to Finn'' I remarked

''I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry''

''No you're not prying, well not more than the average person'' I remarked

''That's fair'' – he began ''I don't know if I should do this, I think it could potentially be offensive'' call- me Collin added truthfully

''I promise, I won't take offence, - okay maybe I can't promise that, but I'll try my best''

He wasn't sold

''oh c'mon, I would ask my only friend, or my former only friend, but hence the term: former, I can't ask her that''

This time he was silent

''Sorry for oversharing'' I added kind of embarrassed now

''if that's oversharing then I think I need to revisit the dictionary because all of a sudden I'm in 1st grade and mom had just used a big word that I don't know the meaning of''

I smiled at him, and then nudged him to go on

He sighed and gave in

''I don't know it's just I never piqued you as a girl who'd somehow be involved with someone like Finn Windel''

''So you've mentioned before'' I added warily

''I know, but it was just a surprise for me to see how wrong I was''

''maybe you weren't wrong'' I responded

He turned to me

''okay hold up, I'm slow and I'm not good at these reading in-between the line sort of things, so you're not with him? - And yes I know you said you're friends, but I feel like we both know that was untrue, I don't think it's humanly possible to be friends with a guy like that''

I bit the inside of my lip, I could feel another smile

''Honest truth?'' I asked and I don't know why I was telling him all this, maybe it's because his kind eyes were not judging or the fact that I hadn't really spoken to people – people who were friendly, and people who weren't family member's or part of the Windel bloodline

''if not the truth what are we?'' he remarked

''I think that's a rhetorical question and that I don't need to answer that'' – I began

''correct'' call-me-Collin affirmed

'' I don't think were together, but I don't think he thinks that'' I answered truthfully

''Honest truth?'' he asked in turn, more so asking for my go ahead than actually asking permission

''if not, were nothing'' I responded smartly

He smiled

''I don't know Finn personally, and maybe the person you describing doesn't necessarily depict the character of Finn–''

''It feels like you calling me a li –'' I interrupted

''no I'm not calling you a liar, but I have a sister, and she made a mistake of falling for him'' he interrupted in equal measure

''Rue?'' I asked

He nodded

''well step-sister to be exact, but the same regardless''

''I had no idea''

''yeah, her dad and my mum''

I laughed

''I meant that she had been with Finn''

''oh'' he said looking sort of embarrassed

''But that's cool that you guys are step siblings, you seem closer like you've known each other for most of your lives''

''yeah she's like my best friend''

I smiled

''And your parents –''

''Yeah they're happy –'' he began, the lines on his forehead deepening into an unmistakable frown

''where was this conversation going ..... '' Call-me-Collin asked more to himself than me ''Oh yes! what I was trying to say is I kind of pride myself on trying to be a little less of an asshole, by doing less asshole-y things''

''mind if I tear a few pages out of that book'' I muttered under my breath

He caught it, as this statement awarded me with another smile

''Anyway, this might make me sound bias, or like I only care because it happened to my sister, but he broke her heart, and while she was torn up about all of it, he had gone unscathed already distracted by his next most likely female conquest''

This put me in an uncomfortable situation because I had no idea what to say to this

''I just don't think it's fair, and I guess I wouldn't want anyone else to get hurt by him or anyone else too''

''heart break is inevitable'' I said feigning insouciance

''maybe so, but me warning you makes me feel better about myself and gives me a new sense of self-righteousness –''

''well I'm glad you gained something out of all of this, how very selfless of you''

''it's a selfish world'' he declared

Agreed

''So now that I've done my duty by warning you of what might possibly occur, what you choose to do with that knowledge of you possibly getting your heart broken is entirely up to you''

I imagined Finn breaking my heart, and my mind could not fabricate anything even remotely believable, but I entertained call-me-Collin anyway

''if your heart gets broken enough times maybe you'll become immune to it'' I suggested

''I don't think it works like that, who knows if it does, I don't think anyone would ever be crazy enough to test that theory'' he said

A Silver Toyota Fortuner pulled up in front of us, I assumed it was his ride, because he reached for the door

''Thank you'' I said earnestly, even though I didn't think Finn was capable of shattering me the way Call- me-Collin had so assiduously described, the fact that he thought he was looking out for me was a kind gesture

He shrugged

''I don't think you should be thanking me, because it wasn't as if I shared with you some life changing advice, I merely gave you a reminder''

''and what exactly did I need to be reminded of?''

Call-me-Collin opened the car door

''That you're an A plus Emily, and Finn is a negative, minus F''