Chapter School Daze

Josh opened his eyes to find a horse’s long facehovering inches above his own.

“I am Findhorn,” said the horse and stepped back.

Josh sat up. He was on a beach looking out over anendless archipelago. All the islands were wreathed in mist, but the sea and thesky were blissfully clear.

“We must hurry, Joshua. I do not know how much timeyou have here.” The horse’s voice was deep and melodic.

Josh twisted around to look at him. He was as massiveas any draft horse, yet as sleek as a thoroughbred. Every strand of hisgossamer silver mane hung immaculately against his powerful neck and hispearl-white coat shone so brightly that he seemed to glow from within, butJosh’s gaze was held by the tightly twisted golden horn that emerged from hisforehead. He had never seen such a beautiful creature and yet, somehow,Findhorn was familiar.

“I’m Josh.” He said and stood up.

“I know. We’ve been expecting you.”

Josh looked around, hoping to see more fantasticalcreatures, but a wall of billowing mist rose abruptly perhaps ten yards inlandand obscured everything beyond it. There was an eerie silence about this placethat Josh hadn’t noticed when he had been looking out over the glistening sea.

“Where am I?”

“You are within yourself.” The unicorn started to walktowards the bank of mist and Josh, with a quick look back towards the sunnysea, trotted after him and into the mist.

It took a while for him to get accustomed to the dullgrey light. He could see his feet and the ground they were walking on and hecould make out the solid shape of Findhorn just in front of him, but the restof the world was a grey mystery. Soon he started to see other shadows loomingahead. He pressed in closer to the unicorn’s flanks, as the dark figures beganto surround them.

“Do not be afraid, Joshua. Nothing can harm you here.”

The ground had started to rise steeply and Josh foundhimself falling behind the unfaltering gait of Findhorn. He had to scrambleforward using his hands to catch up and he began to feel his breath burning theback of his throat.

“Slow down!” He gasped.

“We can not. We must reach the top before you go.”

“Why?”

“To meet the Gellert.”

By now the grass under foot and hand had been replacedwith rocks and sharp scree. Josh looked back and wondered how high they hadclimbed. His calves throbbed with effort, and still the unicorn ploddedrelentlessly onwards.

Then, just as Josh thought his he could take it nolonger, they came to a clearing in the mist where the ground had levelled out.The unicorn stopped and Josh stumbled to the floor, heaving air into his rawlungs.

Two marble columns stood in the centre of theclearing, and atop one of them there squatted a tiny, grey skinned imp.

“So. You’ve decided to come at last. Good of you tofinally join us. It’s not as if I had anything better to do. I’m just buildingan archway to the Vale for you. Why would you bother turning up? It’s not as ifI’m real anyway.”

The goblin jumped down from his perch and stompedtowards Josh with a grim look on his gnarly face. Josh backed away,alarmed.

“You’re very young for this. I hope he knows what he’sdoing. I don’t like connecting up youngsters anymore. No respect. You don’tknow who’s going to come in.”

“Who…? Who are you?”

The creature looked at him slyly. “Guess.”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, but you do. Think about it. Try to find thethought that doesn’t belong in there. That’s me!” A smile creased his face,which made him look more human.

A memory of a fairy tale popped unbidden into hismind. “Er… Rumplestiltskin?”

“Rumplestiltskin? Rumple-festering-stiltskin?” Thegoblin was livid, and any semblance of humanity drained out of him as hegnashed his pointed teeth and clenched his claws in front of his face. “He’sgot a lot to answer for.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

“Then think boy. Think! Shut your eyes and look insideyour mind.”

Josh closed his eyes rather reluctantly because he wasunsure what the manic creature was going to do next. He found it very hard toconcentrate with the goblin fidgeting and grinding his teeth in front of himand was about to open them again, when suddenly he saw a name glowing on theinside of his eyelids.

“Trunglepop?” He carefully read out loud.

“Well done, lad. Well done. Perhaps the old man doesknow what he’s doing after all. Pleased to meet you, Josh. You can call mePops.”

Josh opened his eyes again to find the goblin lookingmore pleasant again.

“Now, lad. I need to make some adjustments to you so Ican finish this archway. Bend over.”

He did as he was told and immediately felt thegoblin’s claws tracing the outline of his head. Bizarrely he thought he couldfeel the bony tips beneath his scalp, piercing his skull and reaching into hismind. He shuddered and the feeling disappeared instantly.

“That’s strange…” Trunglepop muttered to himself.

“What?” Josh wanted to raise his head a little, but hedidn’t want to annoy the goblin.

“Nothing. Nothing. Don’t worry. It seems that you’vemade a connection to Trinity Vale before.”

“What?” Josh did raise his head now and shook it,hoping the movement would make sense of what was being said.

“Look, this archway that I’m building for you willconnect this island to the Vale. You understand that, yes? You’re not totallystupid?”

In his heart Josh knew that he should just be honestand admit his ignorance, but a misguided pride made him nod his head.

“Well, what I’m saying is that something similar hasalready been built here before. And you must have built it yourself, becauseI’m definitely the first Gellert to visit your island.” Trunglepop opened hisarms wide as if that made everything perfectly clear. “Do you see?”

Josh smiled weakly. “This is a dream isn’t it?”

As if he had conjured it with those words a darknessfell, and he lost himself in the comfortable void of a dreamless sleep.

Josh woke up the next day to the sound of his alarmclock. He peeped out warily from beneath the covers at it wondering whether itwould tell the time or try and communicate with him.

“7:30”

He stayed snuggled under his duvet until the timechanged. Then heartened by the apparent return of normality sat up and surveyedhis room for any new strangeness. The dim light of another drizzly morning wascreeping through the crack in his curtains and this gave the room a rathergloomy aspect, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“Josh! Time to get up!” His dad called fromdownstairs.

“Yeah. I’m up.”

He swung himself out of bed, quickly wrapped himselfin his dressing gown and pushed his feet into his slippers. The worst thing, hethought, about living in this old house, was that it was so cold. He shiveredout of his bedroom with his arms folded tightly in front of him.

His dad was eating some toast and watching the news asJosh entered the kitchen.

“My goodness!” He exclaimed. “What’s this? I’ve onlycalled you once. Are you well, son?”

“Ha ha.”

“Do you need a doctor? Or has your room exploded?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what happened.”

Just then Jackie came into the kitchen. She was readyfor school, dressed as usual in an outfit which stretched the definition ofschool uniform to its very limits.

“Blimey, Josh what are you doing up? Not feelingwell?”

“Not now I’ve seen you two comedians.”

“Ooh, bit touchy aren’t we?”

His dad chuckled and started watching the telly again.

Josh put some bread in the toaster and sat down at thetable. On the TV Estella White was standing in front of a mob of protesters.

“…and the experts claim that this new reactor willprovide more power than ten conventional power stations. But I think allresponsible people have to ask themselves, ‘Is it worth it?’

“These people behind me believe that it certainly isnot.” She pulled a remarkable looking person in frontof the camera. He wore a black robe with a cowl, but the most striking featuresof the man were his ivory skin and blank white eyes. “This is CoelAmberglass. And he believes that the Earth has had enough. He says it will notstand for any more pollution of its air, any more desecration of its land orany more fouling of its oceans. The Earth, he believes is about to fight back.Isn’t that right Coel?”

“Well not exac…”

“So what signs have you seen that make you think allthese things?”

“It’s very complicated really.”

“Well in layman’s terms then…” Estella rolled her eyesat the camera, making it quite clear that she thought Coel Amberglass was afruitcake with far more than his fair share of nuts and raisins.

“Well, firstly it’s important to realise that it isnot the physical entity of the Earth that we are talking about, but thespiritual essence of everything that is on and indeed in the Earth. Thisessence we call Gaia.” Coel seemed to grow on the screen as he warmed to hissubject. Estella on the other hand had started to look a little perturbed.

“Everything is connected”, Coel continued, “from thesmallest microbe to the mightiest tree, and it’s not just what you consider tobe living organisms that are involved in this beautiful union of the planet.No, it is also the seas and the mountains and the clouds. Look around you,people of Earth, and see what wonder you live amongst.”

There was a hearty cheer from the crowd behind him andthey began to chant his name. As he finished his speech Estella put her hand toher ear and listened intently. Obviously her producer was getting a littlepanicky about this new age nonsense being broadcast to millions of breakfastviewers.

“Well thank you very much Mr Amberglass, that’s veryinteresting. This is Estella White for the BBC news at Sellafield.”

“Well that was different.” Joshua’s dad said. “Youdon’t often see old Estella upstaged in an interview.”

“He was crazy.” Jackie giggled, dropping her breakfastdishes into the sink.

“I thought it was nice idea.” Josh said wonderingly.“Us all being connected.”

“You would, but I’m not connected to you.” Then sheadded with mock seriousness. “Am I really related to him, Dad? You’re sure youdidn’t find him abandoned in the zoo?”

Josh ignored her. “Dad, have you heard of Gaiabefore?”

“Hmmm? Yes I think so. The Greek goddess of the Earthor something. I’m sure she was quite big in the sixties. Why?”

“Nothing really. That’s the second time I’ve heardsomeone mention it, that’s all. Although thinking about it, it does seem to bea favoured topic amongst the loony brigade.”

“Where’s my umbrella?” Jackie’s was standing by theback door. Her good humour had vanished and she stared accusingly at Josh.

“Don’t look at me!” He protested sharply and felt hischeeks redden.

“I left it here yesterday.” She pointed behind thedoor. “I’m sure I did.”

“What would I want with a pink umbrella?”

“I don’t know. You’re the freak. You tell me.”

“Calm down, Jackie, it’s only an umbrella. Just takeone of mine.

Jackie turned her venom on her father. “Yeah, right.Like that’ll work. I’ll just do without.”

She left.

It is normally very difficult to remain inconspicuouson an early morning commuter train when you are wearing black druid’s robes andcarrying a six foot staff, but Coel did not want to be bothered. So he used atiny fraction of his eldritch power to divert the other passengers’ questioningstares and to rebuff any outright belligerence.

It is quite another matter however, even for amagician as powerful as Coel, to conjure up somewhere to sit. Eventually,however, he allowed a young student to notice him and he nudged the goldenstrands of her mind. She stared at him for a second and then without knowingwhy stood up and asked him if he wanted to take the weight off his feet. Coelfaked a feeble nod and squeezed into the relative comfort of the seat. The studentwandered away feeling confused.

After setting some simple distraction Wards aroundhim, Coel settled down to meditate.

Being blind had never been a hindrance to Coel, as hisother senses allowed him to see much more than mere colour and shadow. He couldsee thought and feelings, anger and tenderness and they in turn glimmered andreflected off the physical world which enabled him to see the finest details.To him the carriage was a burning nebula of thought. The passengers shone outlike broiling new stars, illuminating everything as clearly as the sunshinelights a summer’s day.

For a moment, he allowed his own consciousness tomingle with the weave of thought, wallowing in the swirling chaos, but beforehe got too deep, he extricated himself and shot free of the carriage into themind of a passing crow. Riding the hot currents of air generated by the train’sengine, he soared high above the countryside, and soared southwards to WestHackett.

Joshua met his best friend at the bus stop outside theschool. Toby’s black plastic glasses and wildly unruly hair gave him the madscientist look, which he cultivated with relish. Instead of a sports bag or arucksack he used a brown leather briefcase for his schoolbooks. Josh and Tobyhad been best friends for as long as they had been Christopher Crumb’sfavourite victims.

“Joshuar-ar-ar! How does the day treat you?” Joshuagrimaced at the greeting, knowing how utterly ridiculous it sounded. Any bullywithin a hundred yards would automatically zero in on his friend.

“Hi Tobes. Fine. You?”

“Mostexcellent. Did you happen to see that Coel Amberglass this morning railingagainst the modern world? What a magnificent madman. Gives us all hope, eh?”

“Yeah. I did. Have you heard about Gaia before?”

“Nope, load of old twaddle if you ask me.”

They set off for registration and Josh told him abouthis meeting with the tramp.

“Wow. Cool as cucumbers. Where do they find thesepeople. ” He paused for a second, suddenly looking intense. “What did you sayhis name was?”

“Erm... I can’tremember. Trevor something. Oakenshield? Maybe.”

“Trevor Oakhampton?”

“Yes. That’s it. How did you know that?”

“I know everything.” He boomed, startling some firstyears.

Josh waited patiently for Toby to elaborate.

“He’s Sir Trevor Oakhampton. The Chairman ofTech-Tonic. The guy your dad thinks is ruining the computer software business!”

Josh shook his head, bewildered. “Is he?”

“He disappeared three weeks ago. Everyone thinks he’sbeen kidnapped. It’s quite a mystery. Surely your dad mentioned it.”

“Well, no. You know how busy he is. He forgets thingslike that…” Josh mumbled.

“You know you should tell someone.”

“And what should I tell them Toby? That atramp came to see me, spouting nonsense and looking as though he’s beensleeping in a dustbin for the past several years and because of this I actuallythink he’s the missing chairman of a multinational company, eh? Do you know thephone number of the F.B.I.? I need to make a call.”

“Come with me, Mr Sarcastic.” Toby said narrowing hiseyes. “I want to show you something.”

Coel’s crow was preening itself on the top of alamppost. The bird’s panoramic vision and sharp, restless twitching had beendisorientating at first, but during the swift flight south from the train hehad got used to his new host, and was now peering out from behind the crow’sdark eyes over the busy high street that bustled by below.

A heavy, surly-looking boy emerged from the doorway ofa newsagent’s, looked up and down the street and fumbled a cigarette into hismouth. He lit it quickly and then, as if the burning cigarette gave himconfidence, he swaggered off, puffing away like a train. Coel nudged the crowfrom its perch and followed, swooping from lamppost to lamppost.

The boy pushed deliberately through a group of youngerchildren, who were laughing about something Coel could not see. A small girlfell back and scraped her knee. A cry and inevitable tears followed. One of theother girls span around angrily.

“What did you do that for?” But she quailed when shesaw who it was.

“She was in my way. Have you got a problem with that?”Coel saw the girl’s reckless courage crumble beneath the leering stare of thebully. “Do you want me to do it to you?”

“No.” She said so quietly that the crow barely heardthe word, but the fear in the tiny syllable was too much for Coel to bear. Hesurged out of the crow’s simple mind and delved deep into the tight frustrationof the bully’s more complex thoughts.

The boy froze, his body suddenly held in a rigidspasm, as Coel subdued his will. Then, a smile lurched uncomfortably across hisface.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

The ring of children backed away, suspicious of atrick. Coel pulled some more ethereal strings and the bully spoke again. “Don’tbe afraid of me. I’m just a big, fat idiot. Please feel free to punch me in theface. I deserve it.”

“No, it’s all right. We don’t want to.” The girl whohad faced him before could not keep a sneer off her lips. “You’re just notworth it.”

Then, they turned and left Coel alone with ChristopherCrumb.

“Well, well, well.” He directed his voice inwards, atthe cowering consciousness that normally controlled this body.

“Who are you? What’s going on?”

“I have been watching you Christopher.” Coel intoned.“And this is the first and final warning that I shall give you.”

“I haven’t done nothing.”

“Silence! You know what you have done. Hurting andfrightening those weaker than yourself. This is not the way to behave. Youshould use your strength to help these people. Not harm them.” Coel allowed hisvoice to ring dramatically around the hollow confines of the boy’s mind.

“I…I will.”

“This is not a promise to be taken lightly,Christopher. Not something that you can forget about. I will be watching youfor the rest of your life. And if you do not do the right things, I will punishyou.”

“I’ll do things right. I’ll…I’ll be good.”

“You will start by giving Joshua Bennett his phoneback, and you will apologise.”

“Yes. Anything. Please. Let me go.”

Coel knew that this fright would not stay with the boyfor very long, but it would serve its purpose. Josh would get his phone back,and a few other kids would be safe for a while. He seeped away allowing Crumbthe use of his body again.

A curious crowd had formed around him and he sagged,as if invisible puppet strings had been suspending his body and limbs.

“We’ve called an ambulance. It should be here anyminute.” A little old lady patted him on the arm. “You seem to have taken quitea turn.”

“I need to go to school.”

“Ah. Isn’t he keen?” The old lady smiled. “I’m sureyour teachers will understand, dear.”

“I’m not bothered about the teachers.” He said grufflyand then looked frightened. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled and lumbered off.

Josh and Toby crept into the deserted IT room. Joshfelt the familiar fear and excitement of disobedience rising as they sat downat one of the computers.

Toby switched it on and his hands, sure as ever,entered the relevant passwords until he had full access to all the schoolservices and the Internet. After a few more seconds a newspaper’s web pageappeared with a headline reading, “Mystery Disappearance of Tech-Tonic Boss.”Below the text a black and white picture of a well dressed man staredarrogantly out from the screen. Josh’s eyes widened.

“That’s him. That’s the tramp.”

Toby sat back. “Are you going to call the police now?”

“Hardly.” Josh snorted. “It must be some sort…”

An electrical buzz startled them. Turning round theysaw all the other screens in the room coming to life, but instead of the normallog on screens, static fizzed and Josh saw his familiar symbols swirling withinthe dancing chaos.

“That’s strange. Monitors shouldn’t display static.”

“It’s not just static.” Josh said, but his voicefaltered as a face began to form on all the screens.

It appeared to be deep within the screens, like someonelooking up under water, and its mouth was open impossibly wide in the rictus ofa scream. Almost beyond the range of hearing a high shrieking noise began,becoming lower and louder all the time. The shriek became a wail and withinseconds the room was ringing with the sound.

“What’s going on?” Toby yelled.

“I don’t know.” Josh hadn’t yet told Toby about thestrange face he had seen in his dad’s study, but he knew that this eerie screamwas Geigerzalion’s. Knowing who made the scream gave the noise anguish and Joshwanted to run away from it. His hands rose to cover his ears.

“What on Earth is going on in here?” Mr Haslem burstthrough the door and in that instant, all the screens flicked off and silencefell like a hammer in the room.

Toby had often voiced the opinion that Mr Haslem wasfar too old to teach computer science. His antiquated security systems wereenough to keep most students from accessing protected content, but Toby was notan average student, especially where computers were concerned. He said that heknew more modern hacking techniques than Mr Haslem had used hair replacementtreatments.

“Should I rephrase that? What was going on here? Oneof your clever experiments, Hawkins?”

Toby’s mouth was open, and Josh realised with vaguesurprise that he was speechless.

“We didn’t do anything.” Josh said. He noticed thatToby still had the peace of mind to close the browser. He wouldn’t have leftany sign that he had been online.

“Really. I find Hawkins sitting in front of one of mycomputers, which at this time of the morning is off limits, and a noise enoughto wake the dead coming from this room. And you expect me to believe that youhaven’t done anything.”

“We really didn’t Mr Haslem. We haven’t been on theInternet or anything. I just wanted to show Josh a new z-buffer algorithm I’vewritten for my graphics engine.” Toby had regained his composure, but Mr Haslemsmiled smoothly.

“So Mr Bennett, what did you think of it?”

“What?” Josh said, with rather less assurance thanToby had shown.

“What did you think of Mr Hawkins’ algorithm.”

“Er… well I didn’t really understand it…”

“I’m sure you didn’t. Could I have a look?”

Josh’s heart sank, but Toby had surreptitiously beenpressing keys and an elegant teapot span slowly on the screen. Josh assumedthat it had something to do with this z-buffy algorithm.

Toby replaced the spinning teapot with lines and linesof scrolling code. He stopped it somewhere and started to explain his program,but Mr Haslem had lost interest.

“Get to registration, now.” He growled and escortedthe boys out of the room.

“What was all that about? Did you see that face onthose screens? And those symbols? They were like the one’s in your secretlanguage, weren’t they?” Toby started talking six to the dozen as soon as theywere out of earshot of Mr Haslem. “I don’t understand how those screensswitched themselves on. I mean monitors don’t display random static liketelevisions; they work on a digital signal, not analogue. And that face…”

“Something else weird happened last night, Tobe.”

“…was it really screaming? Was it a real…what did yousay?”

“Something else strange happened last night.”

“Something stranger than the tramp who is really a topbusiness man telling you that the Earth is trying to talk to you?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Well after the tramp had gone I was going to feed thecat, but I couldn’t find him and the door to my dad’s study was open.”

“Your dad’s study was open? You’re joking. Why didn’tyou ring me?” If anyone else had said this Joshua would have known they weretrying to be funny, but Toby had wanted to see inside the room ever since hehad first set eyes on the keypad next to the door. He had even admitted to Joshthat he had once tried to hack into his dad’s computers, although he remainedsilent about whether he had succeeded or not. Josh thought that this silencemeant that Toby had failed; as his friend was not usually shy when it came toshowing off.

“Yes, it was open, but let’s concentrate on the realissue here.” Josh said in a phoney American accent. “So I went in. And thereare loads of computers in there. Rows and rows of them, but there was one onits own like the screens in the IT room, only clearer. And it didn’t make anynoise. But the symbols were there.”

“But I thought you’d made them up.”

“I did! I’m sure I did.”

Toby pursed his lips for a second, and scratched hisear. “Perhaps your dad has been brainwashing you. Maybe he’s been playing somesort of subliminal messages to you when you’re sleeping. This is the first stepof his plan for world domination.”

Josh choked back a laugh. “World domination? My dad?Do you really think so?”

“Could be.” Toby said with a straight face.

“I don’t think so. He can barely control Jackie. Andanyway, whatever it is has been trying to communicate with my dad for ages, butthey don’t understand the symbols. He’s called Geigerzalion and he’s aprisoner. He asked me to tell my dad that I had spoken to him.”

“And…?”

“Well, I can’t tell my dad. He’d kill me if he knewI’d been in his study. You know what he’s like about that.”

“That’s exactly the way an evil megalomaniac wouldbehave if you’d found his secret lair.”

“What? Yeah, but…”

“Come on, Josh. Seriously, if you were locked upsomewhere, and you managed to get a message to someone, wouldn’t you want themto help you?”

“Of course.” He thought about it for a moment. “Yeah.You’re right.”

After they had been to registration, they were walkingthrough the science block to their first lesson when they were brought to astop by a heavy hand on their shoulders.

“Hello Bennett.” Crumb’s voice laced through them likeice. Josh stood stock still waiting for something awful to happen.

“Do you want your phone back?”

Josh stiffened and felt yesterday’s anger rising oncemore. He had forgotten about his phone with all the other things that hadhappened. “Yeah, but you’re not going to give it back are you?” Josh’s voicecarried a note of involuntary insolence that would normally be followed byswift violence and he winced in anticipation. But nothing like that happened.Instead Crumb just pushed his phone back into Josh’s hand, mumbled, “I’msorry”, and hurried away.

“Well I never did in my life.” Toby said. “Forgeteverything else that’s happened to you, that is just beyond amazing. Has hebroken it?”

Josh stared at his phone in disbelief. He had neverknown Crumb to do anything like this and so he was wondering what nastysurprise was in store for him when he put the phone to his ear. He clickedthrough his address book and nothing seemed to have been ‘hilariously’ changed.

“It’s fine, I think.”

“I thought you were going to get a right pasting whenyou told him he wasn’t going to give it back to you.”

“I know. It just came out, but if I didn’t know betterI’d say he was scared. Do you think someone’s said something to him?”

“Possibly.” Toby looked doubtful. “But who would hetake any notice of? I mean I didn’t get the impression at parents’ evening thathis mum and dad are bothered that he’s the school bully. They’re probably proudof him. Well done son. Top of the class in bashing and stealing pocket money.Here, have another beer.”

Josh laughed ruefully. “Yeah, you’re right. Who couldtell him to be nice?”

“Maybe he’s just realised that he should be scared ofme!” Toby flexed his nonexistent muscles.

“Hmmm.”

The morning passed as most mornings had before. ToJosh one teacher spoke at them regarding Boyle’s law of something or other andanother one gave a fascinating account of the life of Ernest Hemingway, whileto Toby one teacher trivialised the work of one of Ireland’s greatestscientists down to a single formula and another droned on and on about anAmerican who wrote a book.

No matter how interested or bored each onewas with a lesson they took every opportunity to chatter about the strangethings that had happened to Josh the previous day. It seemed incredible that somany odd things had happened when normally the most exciting thing thathappened to either of them was getting a peculiarly large chip from the schoolcanteen.

At lunchtime they had secreted themselves behind oneof the cricket screens. This wasn’t technically out of bounds, and it was farenough away from the thriving social machine that was the school dinner hour togive them the privacy they required.

They leaned against the screen idly flicking stones ateach other. “Why do you think Crumb gave you your phone back?” Toby asked forthe hundredth time. “I mean he hasn’t done anything to it, it doesn’t seem tobe a trick, he didn’t even try to sell it back to you. If I didn’t know betterand he hadn’t stolen it in the first place, I’d have to say that Mr Crumbfancies you Josh.”

“Shut up, you morphodite.” Josh paused. “It is weird,though and I still think he was scared. There was something in the way he askedme if I wanted the phone back, he just wasn’t himself.”

A noise behind the screen made them jump and Josh’sheart leapt into his mouth. If Crumb had heard them talking about him likethis, they were as good as dead. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realised itwas Kat clambering around the screen.

“Hello nerds. How’s it hanging?”

“Hi Kat. What’re you up to?” Josh asked.

“Hello Katrina. How does the day treat you?”

“Fine.” Kat flashed a smile at Toby from behind hermakeup. “What have you done to upset Crumb?”

“Us? Nothing, although he did give me my phone backthis morning. Why?”

“He’s in such a bad mood. His head looks as thoughit’s about to explode, but he seems to be trying to be nice to everyone. It’sscary.” She laughed. “Even Lee and Carl are flinching every time he looks atthem. Are you sure you haven’t upset him?”

“Are you mad? We wouldn’t deliberately annoy him. Oh,I hope we don’t see him this afternoon. If he’s in such a bad mood witheveryone else, he’ll be saving the worst for us.” Toby grimaced.

“I think he’s scared.” Josh said.

“Scared?” Kat snorted. “What’s he scared of? Most ofthe teachers don’t want to cross him, and you know what he did to Malcolm lastweek.”

“Oh yeah, that was awful.” Josh agreed.

“I can’t bare to even look at the poor chap any more.It makes my eyes water.” Toby gulped comically and the other two laughed, buthe hadn’t been making a joke.

Josh and Toby did manage to avoid Crumb for the restof the afternoon, but Josh knew that there was still a chance that he would beambushed on the way home. He was thinking about this while he queued for thebus.

“Where are you going, son?”

“Oh sorry. Erm…West Hackett please.” Josh eyed thelower deck of the bus for Crumb. He wasn’t there.

The driver keyed a few buttons on his ticket machineand it chattered out his ticket. Josh took it and started to walk along theaisle.

The ticket machine whirred again and another ticketemerged. Then it happened again. The driver bashed the top of the machine withthe impressive understanding that most adults show for electronic equipment.Another ticket came out.

Josh turned over the ticket in his hand and saw thatinstead of the normal blurred writing showing the fare price and what stop hewas getting off at, there was just one large word printed there: “HELP”.

The ticket machine was now spitting out more ticketsand some had fluttered to the floor. With an embarrassed panic he saw one withhis name on. He darted forward to pick them up, but he wasn’t quick enough.

“Look one of them says Josh!” Fiona Broomheadsquealed.

Josh was trying to pick them up, but more wereshooting out of the ticket machine all the time. Soon the floor was completelycovered with the orange and yellow rectangles. Other students had managed topick up some of the tickets and they were balling them up and hurling them ateach other. In moments the bus had descended into complete chaos.

“What on Earth is going on here!” Mr Haslem roared ashe stamped onto the bus. “You will all remember that while you wear youruniform you are still representing your school.” The bus quietened and peopleshuffled back to their seats. Mr Haslem’s eye came to rest on Joshua. “Ah. MrBennett. Causing more trouble are we? Where is your partner in crime?”

“Sorry?”

“Mr Hawkins. I assume he is behind this.”

“His mum picked him up. He’s gone to the dentist’s.”

“Right. Come with me then.”

“But…”

“No buts, Mr Bennett. This is the second time todaythat I’ve caught you up to no good. You’re going to see the headmaster.”

Josh stuffed the tickets he had collected into hispockets and picked up his school bag. Fiona giggled at him as he trudged offthe bus.

He couldn’t believe how unfair everything was. Howcould he be blamed for the ticket machine going mad? Mr Haslem was droning onabout how Josh had been given a brain and it was about time he started using itand how he didn’t realise how lucky he was. Josh barely heard him. He wastrying to work out what the tickets had been spelling out.

There were three seats positioned in a line outsidethe headmaster’s office and Josh was horrified to see one of them was alreadyoccupied by the huge bulk of Christopher Crumb.

“Wait there.” Mr Haslem indicated the seat next toCrumb and entered the office, leaving Josh alone with his worst enemy. He satas far away from the bully as he could without disobeying Mr Haslem. Every timeCrumb moved or breathed heavily Josh flinched, half expecting a football-sizedfist to crunch into him.

It was only a few minutes before Mr Haslem returned,but Josh did not think he could have waited any longer.

“Mr Ireland will see you in a few minutes, Mr Bennett.Until then wait here.” Mr Haslem turned on his heel and walked off, apparentlyoblivious of the mortal danger to which he was exposing Josh.

“What are you here for?” Crumb’s voice wassurprisingly quiet, but it still made him jump.

He turned to look at Crumb directly for the first timeand thought that Crumb looked as scared as he was. Sweat was beading on hisforehead and he leant back from Josh as if he didn’t want to be too close tohim.

“Haslem thinks I was messing about on the bus. You?”Josh said quickly. If he could keep him talking until Mr Ireland called him inperhaps he would survive.

“Nothing. People just snitch on me.”

“Yeah.” Josh nodded as if in agreement.

An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Thenthe headmaster’s door opened and Mr Ireland ushered Crumb inside. Josh satthere relieved, but puzzled about Crumb’s almost friendly attitude towards him.

He pulled the tickets out of his pocket and stared atthem like a pack of cards. He had managed to get a lot of them off the floorbefore Mr Haslem had dragged him off the bus. There was a single word printedon each ticket, and it wasn’t too hard to work out what order they were meantto be in. He placed them out on the chair next to him.

“HELP ME JOSH TELL YOUR FATHER” The words were allrepeated three or four times, so it didn’t matter that he had not managed topick up all of the tickets. Josh idly wondered what anyone on the bus wouldmake of them.

He heard the door to the office opening and quicklygathered the tickets up before Crumb came out.

“What are they?”

“Nothing.” Josh said instinctively expecting Crumb totry to steal them.

“Oh. Ireland wants you to go in.”

“Right.” Josh stood up.

“Josh? Tell him I… I’ve been nice to you.” Josh lookedup into Crumb’s face. It looked as though he was trying hard not to cry.“Please?”

“Who? Ireland?”

“No. You know who.” Crumb narrowed his eyes at Josh.“You know.”

Josh could do nothing but stare back blankly, hopingthat Crumb wouldn’t think he was trying to wind him up.

“Bennett. Come in here. I want to go home at somepoint tonight.” Mr Ireland’s voice called out and Josh turned with a start andwent into the headmaster’s office.

Mr Ireland was not really interested in telling Joshoff or in Josh’s protestations of innocence. He was an experienced headmasterwho had seen petty rivalries between his staff and particularly bright orobnoxious pupils many times before. This did not mean that Josh was notpunished however and he left Mr Ireland’s office with the extra burden ofhaving to write an essay on how the invention of the ticket machine had helpedto shape the modern world.

Josh was now too late to catch a school bus and ittook him nearly an hour to walk back to West Hackett. Nothing horrible happenedand he found that the cold night air had made him feel a little better.

“Hello?” He called as he opened his front door.

“Hi Josh. You’re late. Everything all right.” His dadwas cooking something smelly.

“Yeah. I walked home.”

“Why?” His dad stopped stirring. A worried lookscurried over his brow. “I left you enough money this morning didn’t I?”

“Yeah. I just needed to think, that’s all.”

“Oh, sounds serious. What about? Anything you can tellyour old dad? Or is it girl troubles?” His dad laughed.

“It’s not girls.”

“Thank goodness for that. You are alright, aren’t youJosh?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Dad…”

“Yes?”

He jumped right in. “Who’s Geigerzalion?”

“Have you been in my study?” His dad’smood snapped from amiable concern to suspicion.

“No, no. Of course not. How could I?”

“Then how do you know about Geigerzalion?”

Josh thought quickly. He couldn’t tell hisdad about the meeting in the study now that he had started lying, but he couldtell him about the scream in the computer science room. So he did and his dadlistened intently.

“So he screamed his name?”

“No. It was just a scream.”

“So how do you know he is calledGeigerzalion? It’s taken us nearly a year to get even that information.”

“There were some symbols surrounding theface. I…”

“You understood them?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

His dad turned the cooker off and grabbedhis coat, which was hanging by the back door. “I’ve got to go out for a whileJosh. There’s a curry if you want one.”

Josh watched him leave and then scraped the green,smelly mush out of the wok straight into the bin.

He made himself a sandwich and went to read a book inhis favourite room with the wardrobe. He wanted to be as far away from anytechnology that could inadvertently communicate with him.

He had gone to bed before his dad came home.