Chapter 28: Psycho Gods: Part 3 – Chapter 27

Betise (noun): an act of foolishness or stupidity.

I hadn’t slept since the funeral, and exhaustion had transformed me into a jittery mess of adrenaline.

Slumped over in the cafeteria, face hovering inches above my full plate, my breath came out as a frosty puff.

My food froze.

I was suffering from sleep deprivation.

“Have a bite of my fruit,” John said as he pushed a non-frozen mango toward me and rubbed my back comfortingly.

“Thanks,” I said as I took it from him.

Luka’s fingers tangled in my long curls, and he scooted his chair closer, so our legs were pressed together. He didn’t comment, just grabbed more of my hair like he was holding on for dear life.

Malum glared at me across the table.

I leaned over and gave John a soft kiss on the cheeks. “Thanks again,” I whispered. “For looking after me.”

He smiled tenderly back and said, “Of course. No need to thank me.”

I turned back to the table and naturally, Malum was on fire.

Scarlet flames danced across his wide bronze shoulders.

I leaned forward and enjoyed the heat.

Scorpius ran his tongue over his lips, and Orion stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. Luka’s fingers twisted around more curls, and John gave me another soft kiss on the cheek.

I smiled at Malum.

His eyes flashed as he glared at where the twins were touching me.

“You have soup on your face.” I pointed my frozen spoon at him.

He frowned and wiped at his cheek.

“Got ya,” I chortled.

His expression promised unspeakable pain. I smiled and ate my mango. He stabbed his knife through his meat like he had a vendetta against it.

“Why are you so agitated?” I asked with feigned innocence.

His knife snapped in his hand. “You seem to let everyone kiss you these days.”

I stilled. “Are you calling me a whore?”

“Of course not,” he said. “Just making an observation.”

“Well, don’t,” I said with a fake smile. “Men should be seen, not heard. Remember that.”

Cobalt ice crawled across the table toward him and coated his plate. He brought a flaming fist down over the ice and it melted with a sizzle.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Malum said darkly.

I replied with falsetto sweetness, “Make you sure you do.”

“Oh, I will.”

“Good.”

“Perfect.”

“Marvelous.”

“Stupendous.”

“Extraordinary.”

Malum didn’t say anything, and I flipped him off with both hands. “I won, suck on that.”

Flames shot higher into the air and the temperature at the table increased.

“What’s happening right now?” John asked with confusion.

Scorpius replied, “Honestly, I don’t want to know.”

John chuckled. “That makes two of us.”

“Are you laughing at me?” Scorpius’s expression twisted with anger.

“What?” John looked around. “Why would you think that?”

Scorpius slapped the table and plates rattled. “Answer the question!”

John jumped in his chair. “Um, I-I—”

“I’m just messing with you.” Scorpius smirked and leaned back in his chair with his arms behind his head, biceps flexed.

John looked at me for support.

“Men,” I mouthed as I shrugged.

He frowned back.

Across the table, Malum continued to burn like a malfunctioning flame thrower. Orion shared a long-suffering look with Luka, and John discreetly checked out Scorpius’s impressively sculpted arms.

Suddenly, I was the most normal person at the table.

I went to take a sip of my water, but a block of ice hit my face. Oops.

Okay, maybe we all had our quirks.

“Are you ready?” Sadie yelled across the room, and I welcomed the distraction from all the testosterone in the air.

She sauntered over from the table where her mates were still eating.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What are you talking about?”

The remaining soldiers trickled out the door, and the cafeteria was mostly empty.

Sadie smacked the back of my head. Hard.

“Hey, what was that for?” I rubbed at the back of my most likely concussed head. She’d definitely used her cat strength, because it felt like getting bludgeoned by a chair.

I twisted around to glare at my best friend.

Sadie smirked. “I just wanted to hit you.”

I tried to punch her in the tit, but she dodged.

She waggled her eyebrows up and down. “All right, my beautiful, perfect ray of sunshine.” She clapped her hands together. “As your best friend, I’ve decided that we’re going shopping to take your mind off of—” She waved her hand casually in the air as she looked for a noun, then settled on, “—things.”

“You’re not her best friend,” John said.

Malum burned hotter. “She’s not your anything,” he said fiercely. “She’s mine.”

“Ours,” Scorpius corrected, and Orion nodded.

Luka’s fingers tangled deeper in my curls.

Sadie and I ignored the men as we stared at each other.

A smile spread across my lips, “that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Also, can we get our nails done?” Sadie asked.

“Obviously.” I smiled wider. “It’s like I’ve always said, give me healthy cuticles or give me death.”

She nodded with a serious expression. “You have always said that. I really respect that about you.”

We high-fived each other.

Cobra sauntered over and asked, “When are we going to the mall?”

Sadie frowned up at him. “Do you think you’re any fun to shop with? Last time we went, you spent six hours in a weapons store and refused to look at a single piece of clothing—then you shot the store clerk because he wouldn’t give you a discount.”

Cobra’s eyes flashed. “False. I got the gun for ninety percent off.”

“Because you shot the man in his private area,” Sadie argued.

“Are you surprised by his behavior?” I looked at Cobra’s black sweatsuit and shuddered. “Look how he dresses. It’s disturbing.”

“What the fuck does my sweatshirt have to do with anything?” Cobra looked down at himself. “We’re wearing the same issued clothes.”

I studied my nails. “There’s a huge difference between me and you. I do not wear these rags by choice. Also, I’d like to use this time to bring up that I’ve always thought you dressed hideously.”

Luckily, Jax was walking over because he grabbed Cobra as he lunged at me.

“Perfect.” Sadie did a little dance. “I already have the RJE device ready to go. We can go to the beast realm shops that we loved before. Mitch is the one who gave me the idea earlier, so everyone is cool with it.”

“Really?” I struggled to process what was happening. “Mitch wanted to go shopping? And he told you?”

I’ve entered into an alternate dimension.

Sadie played with her white hair and said, “Technically, Mitch said you would want to go shopping. But he asked me to bring it up to the group without saying it was his idea.”

“My name is not Mitch,” Mitch said as he slammed his cup down on the table.

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at her,” Xerxes said as he walked over with Ascher. He withdrew his knives and death glared at the leader of the kings.

“Let’s go. We can talk shit about the kings and the patriarchy as we try on shoes.” Sadie grabbed my arm and tried to pull me out of my seat.

Key word being “tried.”

I had at least fifty pounds of muscle on her, and it was frankly disturbing how weak she was. I made a mental note to make her do more push-ups again.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Luka offered, then broke into a coughing fit.

I startled as I realized he had dark circles under his eyes that rivaled Scorpius’s. He’d been talking to me through the sleepless nights, which meant he also was extremely sleep-deprived.

Guilt gnawed at my stomach.

“No, if I go shopping, you two need to sleep. I’ve been keeping you up for days. Use it as a chance to rest—please.” I pushed the unruly curls off Luka’s forehead and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Malum growled like a wild animal.

Luka stared at me like he was trying to read my mind, then nodded. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered.

I gave him a shy smile. “Same.”

Malum made a gagging noise and Orion hit him.

“I would argue, but frankly, I’m dead on my feet,” John said grudgingly as he continued to rub my back in soothing circles. He pulled my hair to the side and gave me a kiss on the back of my neck. “I want all the details when you get back.”

I melted into his embrace. “Of course,” I promised.

“Yay, let’s do this!” Sadie punched me in the side. I struggled to breathe.

Across the table, Jinx made the sign of the devil.

I blew her a kiss as we RJE’d away.

“Just so you know, sir—most men get a clear coat of gloss,” the nail technician said to Malum. She winked and leaned into his personal space.

“Don’t care,” he said gruffly as he looked over at me. “I want the one called ‘destined nights.’” He held up the navy bottle that he’d spent almost an hour searching for. “It’s the color of Arabella’s eyes.”

The woman made a breathy noise. “You’re so devoted. What a lucky woman.” She fluttered her eyelashes up at him.

“You’re embarrassing me,” I mouthed across the room at him.

He smirked wickedly, then settled back into the enchanted massage chair that the five of us were sitting in. We were all getting mani-pedis done at the same time.

Me, Sadie, Malum, Orion, and Scorpius.

Sadie’s mates had wandered off to look at weapons, and I’d encouraged the kings to go with them, since only one of them needed to stay with me, but they’d all refused to leave.

Which was why shifter nail technicians, both men and women, were currently twittering over the devils. For each devil, two people were massaging their legs, while another did their nails.

Meanwhile, Sadie and I each only had one worker.

Apparently, we were not impressive enough to be fawned over. Disappointing.

You’d think the shifters had never seen a seven-foot-tall flaming man before?

A male technician grabbed Scorpius’s bicep and squeezed like he was checking out his strength. The blind devil frowned and furrowed his brow like he was trying to figure out if that was a normal part of a mani-pedi.

I snorted and flopped back in my chair.

Closing my eyes, I grimaced as the woman attacked the thick calluses on my feet. She kept mumbling under her breath about disgusting blisters and smacking my foot with a brush like I was a wild animal.

I debated asking her to stop hitting me but couldn’t find the courage.

“What are you getting done?” I asked Sadie, as I tried to distract myself from the torture happening between my toes.

“Something understated and classy.”

“Smart choice,” I said.

An hour later, I admired my glossy-short black nails. They were perfect for battle.

“What do you think?” Sadie waved four-inch-long rhinestone-covered acrylic nails through the air.

“Cute,” I said. “Good thing we’re not fighting in a war.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

“Think about it.” I patted her head and walked away towards where the men were seated.

“Wait, Aran!” Sadie called after me. “I can’t tie my shoelaces with my nails.”

I ignored her and glared down at the kings, all three of which were still getting their legs massaged an hour later. Sadie and I had gotten ours for fifteen minutes.

“Really?” I asked with exasperation as I stared down at the atrocity that was Malum’s feet. “First, why are your toes so freakishly large? Second, what in the realms made you do that?”

He oozed male satisfaction.

A woman squealed behind me as she looked at his toes, and then there was a thud as if she’d fallen out of her chair.

He had the audacity to wink.

I prayed for patience.

“What do you think?” he asked gruffly.

I stared at the man who had voluntarily gotten “Arabella” spelled out across eight of his toenails. It was white letters on top of dark blue polish. He also had snowflakes on his pinky toes.

“That is stalkerish and creepy,” I finally said.

He admired his feet. “I like them.”

Exasperated, I turned to the other kings. “We all match,” Orion whispered with a smirk as he wiggled his glossy black nails.

Scorpius snapped, “Do mine look good? Someone tell me.” He sounded gruff, but he curled his fingers self-consciously, like he was embarrassed that he couldn’t see for himself.

“They look good,” Orion and I reassured him at the same time.

“Thanks.” He sighed with relief.

I leaned over and patted his arm. “Seriously, they look great. I really like black on you. I think it’s your color.”

He grunted and dragged his hands through his matching hair. A small smile curled the edges of his lips.

“Getting your name was more impressive,” Malum announced confidently.

Everyone ignored him.

A few minutes later—after I’d tipped my nail technician generously and thanked her again for her amazing service, tied Sadie’s shoelaces for her, and redone her ponytail because she couldn’t—we left the salon.

“Wait,” a woman called after us, and we stopped in the middle of the mall.

She blushed prettily and held out a slip of paper for Malum, then she turned and ran back into the salon.

All five of us gathered around the slip.

It was a drawing of a stick-figure on fire, inside a heart. A house address was written below the picture in big loopy handwriting and said, “Visit me anytime you want.”

I pointed at it. “I like how she drew the eyes looking in two-different directions. She really captured your manic energy.”

“She’s so real for that,” Sadie said.

Malum frowned. “I’m sure that was an error.”

“I don’t know,” Orion whispered. “It seems pretty accurate to me.”

Scorpius laughed.

Sadie pulled me down to her level and growled into my ear, “If he goes, I can kill him for you. I can make it clean. No evidence. Easy—only fourteen small payments, subject to twenty-percent interest.”

I rolled my eyes and yanked away from her.

“If I was going to kill someone, I’d do it myself,” I said. “Also, I can’t believe you wouldn’t do it for free. We’re supposed to be best friends.”

She scoffed and blew on her ridiculous nails. “Please, I’ve got to make a living somehow.”

I rolled my eyes at her antics.

There was a burning sound, and we pulled away from each other.

The paper went up in flames between Malum’s fingers, and he smirked at me like he’d proven something.

“Damn it,” Sadie swore. “There goes my business.”

“You’re canceled,” I said to her, then I turned to Malum. “And you’re still not forgiven.”

He bared his teeth, navy fingernails dancing with fire. “But I will be, and then you’ll be mine.”

“Ours,” Scorpius corrected as he gripped Malum by the back of his neck. “She’ll be ours.”

“Ours,” Orion whispered in agreement.

Sadie nodded. “She’s our special Aran.”

The men scowled at her.

I walked away.