110. A.U Regression - After

As one might expect, five minutes wasn't nearly enough for his migraine to improve in the slightest. All he had managed to do in the five minutes after getting away from the teenagers was get away from the bright lights, from the noisy roadways and crowd that threatened to make his head burst. It felt like there was a stabbing pain through his head whenever he turned his head too fast, when a light was too bright. The only thing that seemed to help was just standing in a dark alleyway for a few moments, the dark quiet environment easing the pain somewhat. His eyes ached as he took out the phone, the screen lit up with the phone call of an unknown number. An unknown number had called him almost ten times within five minutes.

It was probably 006 or 032.

Those teenagers probably told him what happened.

He didn't want to, but he also didn't want 006 and 032 trying to follow him so he might as well answer it to tell them to fuck off.

He answered the phone. " Finally!" As he thought, it was 006 who was on the phone call and just the sound of his voice was enough where he wanted to hang up. instead, he took a steadying breath, " 001. I know they pissed you off, but come on dude, you can't be ditching them like that."

Yeah, he didn't care.

He didn't care in the slightest.

"I can take care of myself." He took care of himself in the Camp, he took care of himself and his team on the battlefield, and he could most definitely take care of himself in a city. 006 already proved to him that Korea was a safe country, and he had no doubt that he would be able to handle such a peaceful country.

006 was not amused, the blond heaved out a sigh into the phone, " I'm not saying that you can't. All I'm saying is that you can't be ditching the others like that. They're worried about you and what I heard is that you're the one being difficult. Get over yourself and come back."

He didn't have the energy for that shit. He didn't have the mental space for anything like that.

He didn't even care anymore.

Without saying a single word, he hung up. He didn't have time to deal with 006 who was just being an ass. It was a terrible fucking idea for the outing. Why in the fresh fuck didn't 006 or 032 tag along? At least then it wouldn't have escalated to the point where he had to push them away and threaten them just for them to leave him the fuck alone. It was fucking ridiculous, and it was a fucking bad idea. It was downright embarrassing that he didn't have the hindsight to point out what a shit plan it was all because of his desire to leave. It was almost amateurish.

His phone started vibrating again and without a second thought, he rejected the phone call, and the next, and the next, and the next.

Then he just blocked the phone number. Again, he didn't care.

Stuffing the phone into his pocket, he walked further into the back alleyways, further away from the busy crowds, and further into the deserted area. He didn't even know where he was, all he was doing was following his intuition and if his intuition was taking him to random ass places in the city, then so be it. he didn't care as long as he was far away from the people who were supposedly his friends.

Then his phone started vibrating. Again.

He nearly pitched it into the wall.

The only thing that stopped him from breaking the stupid thing against the wall was the fact that the screen was lit up with 'Grandpa'. The text illuminating the dark alleyway ever so slightly.

It was his grandfather.

Probably the only one who had left him alone and gave him space with plenty of room to spare. The same one that he had only spoken to once, but that one time was enough for him to tell that the elder truly cared for him.

And it was his grandfather who was calling him.

Just like it had been with his sister, when he made her cry, there was something inside of him that twisted at the thought of hurting the elder. There was a little voice in the back of his pounding head whispering to him to keep the man's emotions safe. To keep him safe.

With a sigh, he answered the phone in silence, all he did was hold up the phone against his face and waited for the man to say something, anything. " Hello? Ijin?" The microphone was being fumbled around as if the older man couldn't quite figure out how to use the phone. " Are you there?" The grandfather had a worried tone in his voice, and he found himself breaking the silence within seconds.

"Yes." He answered smoothly. Already the conversation was starting out better than the one with 006. Unlike the shouting that 006 had come straight out of the gate with, the elder was speaking quietly, his voice was calm, steady, and comforting, yet the undertone of genuine worry remained.

There was a relieved sigh, " Oh thank God. I was worried when your friends called us that they lost you." The man sounded like he truly meant it and he couldn't help but stay silent at that. He didn't say anything, but it must have been something the man expected as he just continued. " Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

He didn't answer the question. He just stayed silent. He didn't want to answer the question. Although he didn't want to hurt the man, he also didn't want to open the door to overfamiliarity. Just because they used to know each other didn't mean that he was going to automatically trust them wholly and fully. He had his limits and blindly trusting someone was one of them.

Somehow, the man just moved on, as if his questions hadn't been utterly ignored.

" Well. I know you can handle yourself and I know you don't want to come back to the hospital," well the elder was right, but he found himself wondering if he had been that obvious in his dislike towards the hospital. The other soldiers of the camp used to whisper to each other about how hard he was to read, yet somehow the grandfather was able to glean that much information from their few interactions.

He continued, " But I do worry. If you don't have anywhere to stay, please come home. It's going to be cold and I don't want you to get sick. Oh wait, you don't know where we live now." His phone vibrated after moments of pause and he didn't get a chance to look at it before the man started talking again, " I sent you our address. I'll leave the door unlocked for you. If you do come back home, I won't tell anyone. This must be so hectic for you so I understand if you want somewhere safe to be by yourself, but I would prefer it if you were somewhere safe, warm." Still, he didn't say anything because all that did was raise more questions.

Ignoring the question if it was feasible to get there on foot or not, who else was going to be there? How long would the grandfather withhold the information that he's at the apartment? Is it safe? Who else would know that he was there?

Did he really want to go?

It was cold. Even in the alleyways where the wind was blocked by the buildings, the occasional gust made chills erupt all over his body. The leather jacket was warm, but his pants weren't thick enough to hold in body heat like the jacket did. And if he went, he would be able to sleep somewhere safe, where nurses wouldn't wake him up every time they passed by his room talking too loud or when they were checking up on him.

The elder was someone he still didn't trust fully, but it was an elder that extended a kind hand towards him and even if something happened, he knew he would be able to incapacitate the elder within seconds. Though he hoped that he wouldn't have to do something like that.

" Ijin?" the man's voice brought him out of his thinking, " are you still there?"

"Yes."

Another sigh of relief, " Ah. Okay. Well, you don't have to tell me now if you are coming." His words lifted a burden off his shoulders. " I'll leave the front door unlocked for you and I'll leave your bedroom door open. You're welcome to come home at any time." There was a sound in the background, causing the elder to lower his voice, " Oh. They're looking for me. I have to go. Bye Ijin, I love you." The call ended and he found himself staring at the phone.

He just decided to ignore the grandfather's departing words, but if he went, no one would know that he was there. If he went there late enough, he could get some sleep and then be gone by the time anyone realized he was there. It could be a quick in and out to help him reorientate himself and plan further.

He didn't want to give in to the man's kindness, but the migraine told him otherwise. At the very least, he could get some painkillers from their medicine cabinet to ease the pain. Even that would be enough for him to be able to go off and do his own thing. Just because he could deal with the pain didn't mean that he wanted to.

Another gust of wind swept through the alley, sending chills up and down his body, his aching ears reminding him just how cold it was.

It would be warm there.

He didn't allow himself to mull over it much longer. The first thing he did was look up the address that was sent to him. He couldn't get his hopes up if he didn't know where the apartment was.

He blinked in surprise.

He was only a few miles away from the apartment, he would be able to get there within the hour if he really tried. It was cold, but at least with a decent jog, he would be able to warm up and get there faster.

His phone vibrated and he was greeted with a pop-up message from his sister, wishing him to be safe and to return home with a heart icon tagged onto the end. Just like the elder, she sent him the address of both their home and the hospital, just in case he needed help getting back.

Her contact was the only one he didn't mute after receiving a text message.

Without a second thought, he started to walk in the general direction the map had directed him. From what little he saw from the map, the city seemed to be formatted in a very organized manner, nothing like the villages and minor cities he had operated in. At least he didn't have to worry about taking a left at the third brick house rather than the fourth, all he needed to do was follow the provided path and then he would be there.

He started a steady jog. It was too cold for him to be lingering outside unnecessarily. He had a destination-a warm destination- and he was going to get there if he had a say about it.

The jog warmed up his body, the occasional gusts of wind cooling what little sweat that was forming on his exposed skin. His head still ached, the pounding and pressure almost encouraging him to pick up the pace. He would have if it didn't make him restrain the urge to bang his head into the wall in a vain effort to help the pain.

After a few wrong turns, he found himself standing in front of a building. It matched the appearance and height of the other surrounding buildings, with the main difference being that there was a fence surrounding the rather empty parking lot.

Well, the map told him that he was in the right place.

He didn't want to linger on it for much longer. Walking into the parking lot, he realized that he must have been expected as the gate opened for him, or perhaps it had a motion sensor. There wasn't much to say and it wasn't until he got into the building itself that he realized something.

The building was very nice. Which meant that whoever his sister was friends with, was someone who had quite the influence, or money at the very least.

When he looked at his phone to get the apartment number, he noticed that it was almost one in the morning. He must have lost track of time because he didn't think he had been out of the hospital for quite that long. Not unless they had taken him out of the hospital later than he had realized. Perhaps the sun went down later than he thought?

It wasn't until he was right outside the apartment door that he hesitated. The building seemed to be empty, even if no one had cars in the building, there should have been people in the lobby, the occasional sound from an apartment as he passed by, perhaps the sound of a pet being annoying. But he had heard nothing. He found himself wondering if he even had the right building, the right apartment. On top of that, would the grandfather leave him alone? Would the older man be able to give him the space that he needed? Or would he be like every other civilian he had met, kind, but oblivious. Oblivious enough that their kindness was encroaching on boundaries that were standard for mercenaries and soldiers, especially on boundaries that he had developed from the camp.

How long could he be left alone until the grandfather decided to start interaction?

A sharp ache reminded him what he was there for.

Huffing to himself, he turned the very unlocked doorknob and stepped inside.

Thankfully, the apartment had an open setup. From his position at the doorway, he could see everything save for the bedrooms. The kitchen and living room were full of boxes. Taped boxes, flattened boxes, and opened boxes littered the areas along with their contents. The only thing that looked somewhat put together was the kitchen counter and that was because of dishes that had been stacked together neatly.

The open space allowed him to scan the area easily, even the single lamp that had been left on in the living room was more than enough light to light the area. Unless someone somehow managed to sneak out of the bedrooms right in front of him, he wasn't in danger of someone getting the upper hand.

Slowly, he closed the door behind him and locked it. After he inferred that he was supposed to put on the slippers, he crept further into the apartment. It was dead quiet in there; it was quiet even with him in there listening to the sound of his own breathing.

Like his grandfather had said, all of the bedroom doors were closed, except for a single door, marking it as his bedroom.

Flicking on the light, he was greeted with the sight of a prepared bed, a desk, more boxes, and a note on top of folded clothes in the middle of the bed. The room was plain, there wasn't much to say about it.

Quietly, he closed the door behind him and locked it. out of mere habit, he moved a box in front of the door. It wouldn't stop someone from entering the room, but the mere dragging sound would be enough to wake him up, assuming he didn't wake up from the sound of the door opening itself.

With nothing else to do, he picked up the note that was left on the bed.

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Ijin. I left water bottles, snacks, and painkillers on your desk. Just in case you're hungry.

I left your pajamas under this, but if you don't like them, you can find more of your clothes in the box under your desk.

Stay as long as you like.

Be safe if you do leave. You will always have a home with us.

~Grandpa.

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A glance toward the desk confirmed the presence of the sustenance and it didn't take him long to find the box of clothes that had been mentioned. A closer inspection of the water and snacks confirmed that they had not been tampered with and that they were most likely safe to consume. The pill bottle was also unopened, the seal strong enough that he almost struggled to take it off.

Four pills and an empty water bottle later, he turned off the light and kicked the clothes to the bottom of the bed. He was exhausted and his head still ached something nasty, but that didn't mean he was going to put down his guard. Leaning against the wall, he took comfort in the absolute silence. It was a drastic change compared to the hospital where both nurses and patients were constantly wandering around the halls. Heaving out a sigh, he closed his eyes.

If it wasn't for the sunlight streaming into the room, he would have thought he had closed his eyes for less than a minute. It felt like he could have slept for a few more hours, but at least his headache had been replaced with a rumbling stomach.

For a few minutes, all Ijin did was sit there and wake up completely, allowing his body to catch up with his brain. It was barely six in the morning and the apartment was completely quiet. Slowly, he climbed off the bed, momentarily stretching his back and joints after they had stiffened up overnight. His neck was stiff after his head had flopped over at some point in the night but it was still preferential compared to the migraine he had earlier.

The bar was dry in his mouth but the water bottle had fixed that. He was still hungry, but the bar would hold him over for the time being.

A second examination of the room made him perk up some. The box at the door hadn't moved, but after a night's sleep, he was barely noticing the actual content and labeling of the boxes. The boxes were labeled as 'Stuffed Animals' and 'Ijin's stuff'. It was the box that was labeled with his stuff that made him curious. The fact that it was the first time that he would be able to explore his past by himself, without 006 or 032 trying to guide him, only made him more curious.

Kneeling down next to the box, Ijin reached out for the box. the box was labeled with his name, he wanted to know what was in there.

The sound of knocking rang throughout the apartment.

Within seconds, he was standing up. The knocking hadn't been on the bedroom door, but rather the front door. The sound of a door opening and footsteps made him realize that he was not alone in the apartment, but based on the cadence of the footsteps, it had to be the elder. The footsteps were slow, shuffling almost.

The door opened.

"Hi. Good morning sir." A voice, Seokju if he remembered correctly, "Is there any chance Ijin came here last night?" he froze. The grandfather said that he wouldn't let anyone know that he was there and if Seokju was asking for him, it was clear that he hadn't.

But would he maintain the secret when he was being asked directly, right at the doorway to his own home?

A pause. "No. I sent him the address but he didn't come." The voice was steady, not even he heard an inkling of deception in the mans voice.

He let out a sigh. Looks like the man was going to keep his word.

"I see. Thank you sir. I'll let you know if we find him."

"Thank you." The door closed shortly after, and the shuffling footsteps walked away from the entrance and went right past the room. Without a second thought, he opened the door, almost startling the elder as he walked past.

"Thank you." He didn't need to say thanks for the man upholding his word, but he felt like it was necessary, for some odd reason.

The man lit up as if he had offered something more than a simple thanks, "How did you sleep? Oh wait, you must be hungry. Let me change out of my pajamas and I'll start breakfast."

All he could do was stare as the man shuffled off to his bedroom.

Well, that was an oddly enthusiastic greeting. That was probably the most enthusiastic greeting he had gotten yet, in his life. He closed the door and took a minute to process what was going on.

Okay, so his grandfather was going to change and then make them breakfast. He was hungry and while he still didn't trust the man, it would be fine if he watched the preparation. Besides, if he could stomach the food the camp gave them as trainees, he could stomach whatever the elder was going to make for them.

Leaving the room, he wandered back into the main room, just in time for his grandfather to exit his own bedroom. Like he had been a few minutes ago, his grandfather had a bright smile on his face, "Do you have anything in mind to eat?"

"Anything is fine." He didn't particularly care, as long as it was something he could observe he was fine with it.

That earned him a nod and he lingered behind as Grandpa went into the kitchen. The man floundered around the kitchen for a few seconds, clearly struggling to remember what was where in the half-assembled kitchen. Slowly, the man bent his knees, and even slower, he bent toward the box on the floor.

Grandpa, he realized, was not a threat. It was almost painful to see the old man strain himself to such a degree.

Without a second thought, Ijin swooped in. Even he couldn't let an old man like him do something like that when he was there to help. He was more than able to help the man. "What are you looking for?"

He pointedly did not look at the man, but Ijin swore he could feel the man's smile boring into the side of his head. "Just a few plates please." Easy enough. After handing over the plates, he lingered around the kitchen, helping out with the occasional task.

It was his first time doing something like that. It wasn't his first time listening to someone diligently like that, but it was the first time where it was someone who looked upon him with a smile. A kind smile that somehow radiated patience and love despite the way Ijin had acted in their previous interactions.

To make it weirder, he felt the urge to help the man. It was almost like the urge he felt to take care of his team but to a stronger degree. With his team, he would help them only if they needed it, otherwise, they were on their own. He knew that his men were capable and he expected him to act like it.

It was different with the man.

Even though he had no memories of the man, Ijin seemed to know what the man was capable of and what he was not. What to help with before the man needed help with, like opening jars and helping the particularly stubborn can open. He didn't need to ask for help before Ijin started helping.

If the elder had been one of his men or one of the others from the hospital, he would have felt annoyed that someone required so much help. But at that moment, it just felt natural to him, and not once did he get annoyed.

He just watched as the older man pushed the vegetables around the pan, a careful distance between the two of them. "My name is Kangsoo," He said lightly, giving Ijin a small smile, "you don't have to call me grandpa if you're not comfortable with it. I understand." He nodded.

He would much rather call the man by his name rather than Grandpa.

Kangsoo served up everything into dishes and after some hesitation, Ijin sat down at the kitchen table with him. He rolled the chopsticks between his fingers. Like everything else, he didn't recall ever using them, but they still felt natural in his hands.

"Dayeon will be home in a few hours," A nod. The rice was plain, but it was nothing like the sticky overcooked mess the camp usually gave them. "I told her that you're here, but she agreed to keep it a secret that you're here with us." That was fair.

"Thanks." Dayeon lived in the apartment, he didn't, it would be irrational to try and hide from her in her own home.

Kangsoo gave him a smile and they finished breakfast in peace.

So far, Kangsoo was his favorite.

The man didn't find a need to fill in the silence, nor did he try to steal glances. It was just a comfortable silence that was both similar and different from the comfortable silence he had with his team, with 006 and 032. Similar as there was no need to talk, but different as there wasn't an underlying tension between the two of them.

He nearly pulled a face at the thought of 006 and 032.

006 and 032 knew how he operated, sometimes it was like they knew what he was thinking. Perhaps they wouldn't find him in a few hours, but they would find him eventually, especially if Dayeons and Kangsoo's lying abilities left much to be desired.

He must have been projecting his thoughts onto his face. "You don't want anyone to know you're here right?" That or Kangsoo knew him better than he initially thought.

Ijin nodded. "They're annoying as shit." Even then, that was an understatement, but he wasn't going to elaborate out of respect for Kangsoo.

The man smiled almost nervously. "I figured. Well, there is another place you can stay at. They probably won't think to check. If you want." Kangsoo added on as an afterthought.

Well, consider his curiosity peaked.

"Where?" Kangsoo looked somewhat discouraged by his curiosity, but he wasn't going to apologize for it. It was always important to have options and he couldn't pass up the chance to have a backup plan.

"With a friend of yours." Immediately, Ijin's expression let the man know that he was not happy hearing that but Kangsoo continued, "His name is Hamchan Kang, he's a major in the military and," He paused, motioning towards the teenager, "He's the one who brought you to Korea. I think you still remember him faintly because you haven't taken off his jacket since it was given to you."

What?

He hadn't taken off what?

He looked down at the jacket, the same one he was still wearing. It wasn't his?

Whose jacket was he wearing?

Ijin didn't know if he was more embarrassed than curious or what. He thought it was his jacket that 006 gave him, he thought it was a jacket that Kangsoo or Dayeon gave 006 to pass on. He never would have thought the jacket belonged to someone else entirely.

The worst part was that Kang did sound familiar. As soon as he heard the name, he thought of the brown-haired man he had seen in pictures, the very same one that he noted as being unlikely to be his father. His mind connected the dots as soon as he heard the man's name.

It took almost every ounce of his being to not be embarrassed about it. Thankfully, curiosity was helpful in that regard because Ijin found himself thinking just how important was kang where just his mere name was enough for Ijin to remember him.

"Do you remember him?" Kangsoo asked, a slight tilt to his body as he leaned forward, eager for the answer.

"Yes," though it was embarrassing as all hell, "I remember him. faintly."

Kangsoo lit up. "That's a relief. You're very close to him, you've known him longer than you've known us. He would have introduced himself when everyone else did, but he was worried about overwhelming you." Well, at least one person had the sense to wait. "Major Kang had a feeling that you would react like this. He wanted me to tell you that you're welcome to stay at his apartment, he stays in the barracks on the base anyways."

"I would like to meet him." He was going to have to meet Kang, he needed to know if he could trust the person who owned the apartment that he would potentially be borrowing.

As embarrassing as it was, it was clear that he trusted Kang enough to find comfort in the man's jacket, something he would never admit to anyone. Ijin was fine with meeting Kang and figuring out where they stood and working from there.

He smiled. "I'll let him know. But," Kangso paused as he stood up from the chair, his joints cracking in the process, "I have to go to work. You can go back to sleep if you'd like, it'll just be you until the evening." He almost started at that. Was it really so obvious that he was still tired? Granted, ever since he woke up in the hospital, there was an almost perpetual state of exhaustion that lingered over him, but that didn't mean he was trying to portray how tired he was. Like everything, he had been trying to pass off as being in optimal condition.

Then again, even though he couldn't remember it, they were family that had lived together for the better part of the year. That was more than long enough to pick up on each other's habits and tendencies.

Kangsoo started picking up the dishes, and Ijin did the same after a moment. Kangsoo may be his grandfather, but that didn't mean he was fine with leeching off the man. Besides, cleaning up after himself wasn't the hardest thing in the world to do. Not to mention that same voice in the back of his head nearly scolded him when he toyed with the idea of letting Kangsoo do it by himself.

The man paused at the doorway, his hand resting on the doorknob, "You don't have to stay Ijin. I know I wont be able to change your mind, but," He paused and Kangsoo turned around to look at Ijin right in his eyes, his gaze soft but also firm, like a parent chiding their child out of concern, "If you are going to leave. Please tell me when you do. You don't have me to tell me where you're going, but I just want to know if you're safe or not. That's all I want."

The words came out before he realized it. "I will." Though even when he tried to question himself why he had agreed so fast, Ijin couldn't help but admit that his answer wouldn't have changed either way. It was a simple request that would give the man some peace of mind.

Grandpa smiled. "Thank you."