Dabi had been disappearing during the night.
At first, you slept through it. And then one night, he'd accidentally woken you up. You'd grumbled his name sleepily, reaching for him in your dazed state.
"Oops. Sorry, Star." He'd whispered. "Go back ta sleep."
"Where'd you go?" You'd mumbled, clinging to him as he slid onto the bed beside you. "Are y'leaving me?"
"Never." Dabi had replied, giving you the same answer for the millionth time, and yet doubt still gnawed at your mind.
You hadn't stayed awake much longer after that, falling asleep and not thinking too much of it the next day.
And then it happened again the next night, except you were more awake when you asked him where he had gone this time. He'd said he'd gone to the bathroom, and that you were nosy. The next night, it was to go for a cigarette, despite it being really late, and he hadn't smelt like smoke when he had returned.
So you tried to stay up, to try and catch him out. You'd failed every night for a week, but it does eventually happen. You do eventually catch him out.
You pretend to be asleep as usual, listening to Dabi playing around on his phone, when eventually, you'd felt him begin to slide away from you slowly. You remain still, listening, and sure enough, you hear the slight click of the door.
Your eyes shoot open, taking note of the time.
You wait, forcing yourself to stay awake, although he's not gone for too long, about half an hour when the door slowly opens again.
You sit bolt upright the second the light starts coming through the increasing crack in the door.
Clearly, Dabi hadn't expected you to be awake, a surprised gasp leaving him as you move suddenly, a small flame emerging from his hand as it flies to his chest.
"Star. What're ya doin' up?" He asks, clearly straining to keep his cool.
"Where do you keep going?" You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.
Dabi freezes, his mouth turning downwards on one side, only visible thanks to the strip of light from the ajar door. Silently, he pushes the door closed again, plunging you both into darkness again.
He doesn't speak as he silently walks back into the room properly, and lays back on top of the sheets next to you.
You continue waiting, looking down at his darkness-obscured face, awaiting his answer.
But it never comes. He just picks at a staple on his cheek in the dark, the noise of him plucking the metal the only sound in the room.
"Where are you going?" You ask again, more nervously this time.
Dabi scratches his head roughly, but at least it stops him from picking at the staples. "Nowhere, Star. Go to sleep."
"Liar." You say, with a surprising amount of venom behind your words. "You keep breaking rules. You keep losing your temper with me and now you're keeping secrets."
This seems to catch Dabi off guard, his head snapping to look up at you.
"I've been losin' my temper with you?" He asks quietly.
You nod, suddenly feeling a little tearful. "Last week you got mad at me twice."
Dabi seems to take a second to think about what you said before replying calmly. "I was in the bath, Star."
"I was scared." You sniffle.
The sound of your oncoming tears seems to do the trick, Dabi sitting up and pulling you against his side, one of his exposed arms wrapped around your shoulders, his metal-lined cheek pressed against your skull.
"'M sorry." He murmurs, his other hand running long strokes over your hair as you begin sobbing into his side. "Don't cry."
You couldn't exactly stop though, which was frustrating. You didn't really understand where this sudden onslaught had come from. Maybe the empty feeling you'd been struggling with mixed with Dabi's sudden secretiveness was behind the sudden teary episode, you weren't too sure.
Dabi shushes you, sighing a little here and there whenever you would calm down and then immediately start up again.
"I'm sorry for breakin' the rules." He tries again, gently peeling you away so he can rub under your wet eyes with calloused thumbs. "When you're a little calmer, lets try talkin' about it, yeah?"
You nod as much as you can as he holds your face in gentle, warm hands.
Talking about it was good. He said that he'd never punish you, and that if there was ever a problem, you would just talk about it together.
The fact he was at least keeping that half-promise gave you a little hope.
You take shuddering breaths, trying to collect yourself, Dabi shushing you and running his thumbs over your tear streaks when they fall to wipe them away.
Eventually, you calm down enough to try to have a conversation with him.
"Okay." You say between heaved breaths.
"Yeah? Okay? Ya sure?" He asks, looking like he's trying to duck and look in your eyes even in the darkness.
You give a small 'mhm', pointing at teddy, who lay by Dabi's feet.
Dabi strains to see what you're pointing at in the dark, but eventually catches on and gives an amused exhale of air from his nose as he stretches to reach teddy, bringing it to you, you holding it tight against you with the arm that isn't pressed against Dabi's side.
"Do you want to talk first?" He asks quietly.
You shake your head. You'd already asked your question.
"Okay." He says, holding your head to his chest and kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry for bein' grumpy with you, 'kay? You don't hafta forgive me, but can ya listen for a second?"
You nod, sniffling a little still.
"Thank you." He says, leaning his cheek on your head again. "Do ya remember, I was hurtin' bad that day? Well, I stayed up here so I could relax an' stay out of everyone's way 'cause I know I get a little grouchy when..."
He trails off, his thumb pausing as he strokes your head.
"Anyway, it ain't an excuse." He says firmly. "I was just bein' grumpy 'cause my body was in pain. Then with what the media is sayin', an' you burstin' in like that... and I wasn't expectin' to hafta yell at Tomura..."
"Tomura." You repeat quietly.
Only Himiko called Shigaraki Tomura, and that was only because she insisted on calling everyone by their first name. Dabi stiffens as you point out his slip up.
"Anyway." He tries to play off.
"What about the med-"
"I'm sorry for bein' snappy, an' mean, little Starshine." He interrupts, rubbing his cheek against your head.
"But you're keeping secrets too." You murmur.
Dabi falls silent again for a moment.
"Sometimes I gotta keep secrets from ya, Star, 'cause you're too young to know about some stuff." He replies slowly, as if he's thinking out his explanation as he's saying it. "Or because it's dangerous for you ta know."
"Are you doing something dangerous?" You ask quietly, gripping his shirt.
Dabi goes quiet again, but presses a quick kiss to your head.
"Do you understand?" He asks, ignoring your question.
"Dabi." You whine in frustration.
"What do you wanna know, Star?" He asks, exasperated.
"Where you've been going at night!" You exclaim.
"I've been seein' Shigaraki. That's all." He says with a shrug, moving his head away from yours.
You press your lips together. "You lied."
"Star-"
"You said you were going for a cigarette and that you were in the bathroom!" You snap. "Liar!"
Dabi had never lied to you before, and you were hurt by the news he had started now.
If he lied to you about such silly things, what was stopping him from lying to you all over again?
"Star." He says a little firmer. "We're not gonna start yellin' at each oth-"
"Why lie?" You ask angrily, moving away fully from him. "Why not just see him in the day?"
Dabi doesn't try to pull you back to him, but you can feel his hard stare on you even in the dark.
You scrunch your nose up when the realisation of the situation hits you.
"You've been kissing." You accuse. "Gross!"
You hit him with your teddy as hard as you can, not that the impact does any damage, the bear being far too soft, even for Dabi's scarred and sutured skin.
He snorts a little when you do it, grabbing teddy from you effortlessly, and hitting you softly in return with it.
"Fun police." He teases.
"Gross, gross, gross!" You retort childishly.
Dabi chuckles, his hand running through his hair in the dark.
You give a small huff, crossing your arms over your chest again. That familiar worry of Dabi not wanting you anymore begins to arise again. Shigaraki had apologised for yelling at you, sure, but he still didn't really seem to love your company, not like Jin and Himiko did at least... and you could imagine that he wouldn't want you getting in the way, just like mom's boyfriends did.
"Are you going to start sharing a room with Shigaraki?" You ask quietly.
Dabi shrugs. "Hadn't thought about it."
The answer's instant, which makes you feel like he's telling the truth, which is a little soothing, but not as soothing as you'd have liked it to be.
"Does that mean you're boyfriends?" You ask again.
Dabi shrugs again. "Dunno."
You're not loving the uncertainty in the answers he's giving you, but you suppose it's better than him keeping it a complete secret like he had been.
"Anythin' else to say little Star? You got the floor." He asks, turning to go through his bedside table.
You shake your head, you're tired now, and that horrible heavy numbness on your chest was beginning to get heavier at the mention of him potentially leaving you to share a room with Shigaraki. You didn't want to talk anymore. You wanted to sleep.
"Alright." You see a glint of his smile in the dark. "I promise I'll try an' be better for you, 'kay? I'm really sorry for for lyin' to ya, and for bein' a meanie. Do ya wanna hug it out?"
You nod, wrapping your arms around his middle and thumping your head against his chest. One of his hands goes to stroke your hair, his other warm arm wrapping around you as he kisses your head.
"You understand why some things have gotta be a secret, don'tcha Star? Sometimes I'm gonna do things you don't like, but it's for your own good." He says, his voice sounding close to your ear. "I probably ain't gonna wanna do those things, but..."
"I trust you, pawpaw." You mumble into his chest.
"Thank you." He replies, and you can hear the smile in his voice. "Love ya, Starshine."
"Love you too." You mumble shyly.
He holds you for a little while, petting your hair and leaning his warm cheek against your head.
After a few minutes, he pulls away.
"Bedtime now, 'kay?" He says softly, moving your hair behind your ear. "It's late, an' you've got a busy day tomorrow."
"I do?" You ask, confused.
"Mhm." Dabi hums in response. "Guess who you get ta see tomorrow."
"Uncle Giran?" You ask hopefully.
"Ding ding." Dabi replies with a grin.
You squeal excitedly, earning a chuckle from Dabi, his hand reaching to ruffle your hair.
"If ya get ta bed, you'll see him quicker." Dabi says, slinking off of the bed again.
"Where are you going?" You ask, watching his figure in the darkness.
"Goin' for a smoke. For real this time." Dabi replies, and it does sound as though he has a cigarette between his lips as he responds. "When I come back, I wanna see you asleep, little miss Starshine."
"Okay!" You agree, not needing to be told twice, the promise of seeing Giran tomorrow enough to make you want to sleep anyway.
"Attagirl." Dabi's voice trails from the doorway, the door creaking open again as you lay down, clutching teddy again. "Hey, Star?"
You give a sleepy 'hm' in response.
"I really am sorry, yaknow?" He repeats, seeming to be stuck in his position, his hand paused on the door handle.
"It's okay." You reply with a yawn.
He bobs his head up and down a couple times, before taking a deep breath and opening the door and disappearing off again.