There had been a lot of tears.
Touya had expected tears, he knew it'd break little Star's heart to hear about Magne, no matter what lies he told and how much he tried to soften the news.
But he hadn't quite expected as many as there were.
Really, he should have known the somber mood in the hotel would have affected her. She was a switched on kid who was typically pretty good at reading a room.
Jin had pretty much kept to himself in a single room by himself, only ever being visited regularly by Toga. So at least Touya didn't have to worry about him accidentally informing Star what had happened with Magne.
Toga herself would be fine and then randomly burst into tears and run off upstairs too.
Spinner was just kind of... checking out here and there. It was almost like you'd see his eyes go dull when it was happening.
Tomura was brooding more than usual, sitting by himself in various places, deep in thought, only offering the odd response here and there when encouraged to.
Touya was pretty convinced none of them had actually slept yet, not even himself, which didn't help the grief they were all feeling in their own ways.
At least Compress was okay. Stable, from what he'd heard. In some kind of back alley surgery that Touya was all too familiar with. Hopefully having a better time than he ever did in them, on account of the fact that Tomura was actually somehow paying for his treatment and prosthetic replacement.
Trying to explain that to Star was going to take a little more work than Magne suddenly getting 'sick' and perishing.
Star had tried hanging around downstairs but the atmosphere proved to be too heavy for her.
The poor kid had already been privy to a fight between Touya and Aiko anyway, and although he'd tried to keep his cool for her sake, the comment about his sordid past had almost annoyed him to the point of bursting into flames, likely taking out the whole of Girans kitchen if he had.
Giran had already tried calling him three times by the time Star had asked to go up to their room.
That had taken a total of ten minutes downstairs.
He had contemplated calling Giran, swallowing his anger and asking him to have her a little longer. Just until the initial shock was over.
But the truth was, as much as he trusted Giran to have her for the night, he wasn't sure he was comfortable letting him have her for any longer than that. After all, the old fart couldn't stop himself from smoking in front of her when Dabi had made it crystal clear he didn't want him to do that around her.
The whole reason he'd picked her up earlier than agreed was because he was getting a little stressed not knowing what she was doing.
Was she too young to have a phone for occasions like this?
Probably.
He'd put on Spirited Away for her yet again, half wondering how that film was somehow comforting to her when it was pretty creepy for a kids film, and sat picking at one of his staples, trying to fight the urge to drag her out of the room so he could smoke.
He was still feeling a bit grimy from the blood he'd been covered in, never mind the tiredness that was finally settling in.
He kept catching himself zoning out, staring at nothing in particular for small chunks of time before he'd pull himself out of it.
He tells himself it's the stress of making sure Star's okay, and the lack of sleep.
"Dabi?" She asks out of the blue, her eyes still focused on the screen.
Touya hums an acknowledgement, pulling her back a little by her waist so she's not sat so close to the TV.
She doesn't even blink when he does it, just allows him to move her wordlessly.
At least the square eyes warning had worked.
"Everyone's sad, but nobody's crying." She states.
"Toga's been crying." Touya replies, gently correcting her.
"When mom died I cried a lot." She says simply, but Touya spots her jaw clenching.
Touya wished she would realise just how shoddy her mom had been. He wished she knew how much she'd missed out on because of her moms skewed priorities, how neglected she had been.
He didn't want her to waste her tears on someone that probably wouldn't have cried for her.
But he also was glad she was seemingly blissfully unaware. It was better for her not to realise.
After all, he knew just how wronged he had been by his family and all it had done was make him jaded, eager to achieve some kind of vengeance, battle to be seen and valued by others, and he had this impossible yearning for some kind of correction to his family that was too little too late.
"It happened quickly, kid. Everyone's a little shocked."
"I'm shocked and I cried." She argues, a tear running down her face as she says it.
Touya groans internally. She was crying again.
He was all too used to kids crying. That had been his entire childhood, he and his siblings often coming to each other in tears over something their father had done.
But there was just something so different about when Star cried.
It made his stomach twist and it felt like someone had his heart in a death grip whenever she was in any kind of distress.
He wanted to tear out her mothers and Chisaki's throat for making her cry.
"People react differently." He replies coolly.
Touya reaches to wipe away the tear on her soft little cheek.
"You think Big Sis Mag would want you to be cryin'?" He asks.
"If I died I'd want people to cry." She says with a little sniffle.
And jesus, the mere thought of Star dying makes Touya's stomach churn. He actually has to hold back a gag; it's such a visceral reaction.
But she has a point. Touya would want someone to be upset if he died, too. It showed that people cared enough to react.
"You can cry..." He replies slowly, trying to backtrack.
After all, he wasn't going to be his father.
If she wanted to cry, she could cry, and he'd be there to sit through it with her. He'd be the father he himself never had.
It was better than bottling things up and having it all burst out in six months time. In her case, it'd be less brutal than when Touya's emotions got out of control, but it was still something he didn't want her to experience.
"But she wouldn't want you bein' sad forever." Touya continues. "She'd want you to have fun. Go and do the stuff she couldn't."
"What about mom?" She asks quietly.
Touya's a little stumped by that one.
He didn't know her mom. And what he'd picked up on from bits and pieces of what she'd told her, he didn't want to know her mom, or particularly say anything good about her.
Unfortunately, he had a quick temper and was pretty frugal about the chances he'd give out.
Usually it was a one and done strike count.
But he knows better than to upset a kid.
His kid.
"Your mom would want ya to be happy, too." Touya replies.
It's an effort to not grit his teeth as he says it, in irritation at her mother more so than at herself.
As unforgiving as Touya was about this kind of thing, Star was warm, innocent... näive.
Just like a kid should be.
So he swallows his feelings down. For her.
She's quiet for a bit, and Touya keeps a watchful eye on her, making sure no more tears escape without her knowing he's there if she needs it.
He's about to lean his head back when she speaks again.
"I'm happy."
"Huh?" He grunts in confusion, his eyebrows pulling together.
"I'm happy here. With you, and the others." She repeats, cuddling her teddy close to her chest. "Do you think mom would be glad I'm happy? Not mad at me?"
His heart lifts, proud of himself for bringing her into an environment she's happy and comfortable in.
That's what he'd wanted since taking on responsibility for her, and that's what she deserved.
"'Course." He says simply. "Moms want their kids to be happy."
She didn't need to know that wasn't always necessarily true.
But it seems to placate her, a little 'hm' leaving her as she scoots back a little more to lean her head against his arm. He scratches the top of her head affectionately, pressing his stapled cheek against her head quickly before sitting back up straight.
"Once your movie's done, I wanna go for a smoke an' then you can show me what you painted. Sound good?"
*â¢*
Touya had barely managed to keep his eyes open for a good chunk of time before finally falling asleep.
Luckily Compress had given Star her art supplies back before he'd been taken out of commission, so when Touya had passed out sat up against the headboard, she'd been preoccupied between watching TV and scribbling on the plain page in front of her.
Unfortunately for Touya, he hadn't factored in his tendency for nightmares when he'd allowed himself to pass out.
He was used to the ones about his childhood, and maybe the shock of what had happened had distracted him from the fact that actually, what they had all witnessed, was probably one of the more gory and traumatic things he'd ever seen.
Except this dream was worse than how the events of Magne's death actually occured, because Star was present in his dream.
He kept trying to usher her out of the warehouse, but in true dream fashion, his body wouldn't move fast enough to get her out of the way, to protect her from what she was about to see.
And then his brain revisits the mass of blood and remains that had covered the warehouse and its visitors.
He could hear her slowing distress clear as day in his dream.
"Dabi."
"Dabi...?"
"Dabi!"
He shoots upright as he wakes, breathing heavily, his eyes wide and his body burning up.
Star looks startled and moves away, shaking her hand a little.
Touya tries to collect himself quickly. He could see the steam billowing out from between his scarring and fresh skin, a sight that was likely to upset Star, and had the potential to hurt her, too.
"Star? Wha's wrong?" He asks, combing his fingers through his hair.
Some of the black dye smudges off onto his fingers as he pulls them away.
Star pats his arm softly, and points at some food on the bedside table.
"I brought dinner up for you." She says. "Only Shigaraki was downstairs..."
Touya takes a shaky breath, moving his hair back once more before giving Star a lazy half-grin.
He knew he didn't have to wear his mask of impassiveness around her, but he also didn't want her to feel as though he wasn't brave.
For Christ's sake, he was twenty three years old. He had no business having nightmares. Nightmares were for the weak. And he was not weak.
"Thanks, Star." He pinches her cheek playfully.
He notices she's fussing at the hand she shook moments ago, taking quick glances at it.
He frowns.
"You hurt yourself?"
"Um..." She seems a little sheepish. "It's okay!"
"Lemme see." He orders, holding his hand out expectantly.
When she lays her small hand in his, he sees it.
Burns on her fingertips that are quickly blistering. He must have burned her by accident when he woke up.
Touya feels sick to his stomach, and his body reacts before his brain really comprehends what is happening.
He's up, with Star in his arms as though she wasn't getting heavier these days. He'd been working out with Spinner, which had probably helped him be able to pick her up and carry her, just like he'd intended.
He plops her in front of the sink in the en suite, turning the cold tap on and pulling her hand underneath the stream of water.
He doesn't even hear the continuous spill of apologies leaving him as he holds her wrist firmly under the water, his thumb grazing over the skin of her wrist in an attempt at reassurance, despite her not being visibly distressed at all.
In fact, she was calmer than he was.
"It's okay Dabi." She says for probably the tenth time.
He shakes his head.
She wasn't upset, wasn't crying, didn't even really seem to be in much pain, but Touya was horrified.
Sure, he hadn't meant it, but he'd still hurt her. A kid. His kid. The one responsibility he had aside from himself.
"If I ever accidentally hurt you again, you gotta run it under cold water 'kay?" Touya informs her, not even making an effort to hide the shakiness in his voice. "Don't use ice, even if someone tells ya to. That could make it worse."
"Okay."
"Don't pop these, 'kay?" He continues, rubbing his thumb over one of her blistered fingers under the water gently, catching her gaze. "Otherwise they'll get infected."
"Okay." She replies again with a nod of her head.
"I'll hafta try and wrap these." He mutters to himself, clenching his jaw when he feels the urge to curse at himself in frustration.
"My fingers are cold." Little Star complains.
She at least doesn't wrench her hand away from the water, or really try to, though. She keeps still as Touya continues holding her hand under the tap.
As always, being so obedient.
The complete opposite of Touya as a child.
"Sorry Starshine, but ya gotta hold out a little longer." He replies. "You're a good kid."
The praise seems to placate her enough to stop her complaining.
Touya continues running his thumb over the side of her wrist under the water as he internally berates himself for hurting her.
He hates the fact that he's in front of a mirror currently because one single look at himself and he's not sure if he'd be able to stop himself from punching his reflection.
He was just like his stupid fucking old man.
The cold, dead blue eyes, the quick temper, the fire that tore everything apart either directly or indirectly.
Maybe he was an idiot for thinking he'd be any different.
"Stay here." Touya tells her, letting go of her wrist.
He honestly doesn't expect her to stay put as he rushes out of the room to grab some saran wrap from downstairs.
But when he comes back up, she's stood in the exact same spot, her eyes trained on her fingers.
"Atta girl." He praises with a quick press of his lips to the top of her head.
He leans over her to turn the tap off, grabbing a towel and gently dabbing her fingers and hand dry. He can feel her eyes on him as he works, but he ignores it, too busy on remedying his mistake.
He had never hurt someone that he cared about with his quirk before. He wouldn't directly admit caring about the others, preferring to show it through his actions than with words. He cared enough about them to warn the other members of the League before using his quirk. He knew it had range, and when particularly pissed off he tended to have less control over it.
He knew how bad his fire felt when it licked at flesh, and he didn't want anyone on his side to feel that same pain.
"I've been burned before." She says quietly, breaking the silence as Touya tries to wrap her little fingers in saran wrap.
"Mm." He replies absentmindedly.
He was wondering why he's even bothering wrapping them. It looked dumb, bless her, and would hinder her ability to move her fingers.
"I burned my hand on the stove." She continues, watching his hands. "Mom didn't do this."
Touya really, really has to fight a snarl. He also has to grit his teeth to keep his tone even.
"Yeah? What did she do?"
"She was sleeping." Star replies.
Of course she was.
"Yeah, well. This is what you're supposed to do with a burn." Touya says a little more sourly than he really intended to.
Something about Star's stories of her mother really rubbed him up the wrong way.
"Thank you for looking after me." She says.
"That's what I'm meant to-" Touya begins to sigh before catching himself.
Sure, it was what was meant to happen, but it was something she'd never experienced before.
To be honest, neither had Touya.
Sure, his mom would put on the odd superficial bandage or band-aid, but never cooled the burns. Never put ointment on them, and never checked them after.
Too busy running around after his siblings as well as trying to take care of a house like the good little wife his dad had trained her to be.
It was a miracle he didn't need grafts sooner.
"Yeah, well..." He grumbles to himself, finishing up, and letting go of her hand.
He crouches in front of her, tilting her head upwards gently with his thumb and forefinger gripping her chin. "I'm sorry you got burned."
"You didn't mean to." She replies, still avoiding his direct gaze. "Your food is probably really cold now..."
"I don't care about the food." Touya rolls his eyes, pulling her into him and petting her hair.
He feels her little fists grip at his shirt, her face being nuzzled into his shoulder.
She isn't scared of him. She's receptive to the hug, and it feels like she's looking to him for comfort.
His heart lifts with hope when he considers maybe he isn't as bad as Enji after all.