Touya stirs, noting the cool feeling under his hands, and cuddles closer subconsciously, his lips pressing against the patch of skin his face is pressed up against lazily.
The cool was so nice, such a relief in comparison to the feeling of his quirk boiling him alive underneath his skin.
He doesn't really remember falling asleep. Briefly remembers Tomura being beside him at some point. That'd explain the cool skin under his fingertips and face.
"'Mura." He murmurs again, using his hands splayed under Tomuras shirt to press his body tighter to Touyas.
He presses another lazy kiss to the scabbed up, damaged skin of Tomura's neck.
"Dabi." Tomura warns. "Star's here."
"Gross..." He hears his little Starshine whisper.
"Mm. Star." He mumbles sleepily, removing a hand from Tomuras chest to pat around the bed to find Star.
She's close to Tomura, so it doesn't take too long for Touya to figure out that his hand is on her side and he tries to offer her a soothing rub.
"What're you doin' here Star?" He asks sleepily. "Nightmare?"
He's not even sure where he is. He'd assumed Shigaraki's room somehow, but he doubts Y/N would feel comfortable coming to look for him there.
"You pulled me down!" She accuses. "You pulled Shigaraki down too, even though he didn't want to cuddle!"
"Huh?" Touya grumbles, her words waking him up a little more, him letting go of them both to lean up on his elbow and rub his eye carefully.
Sure enough, Tomura and Star were curled up together, Stars back pressed pretty snugly to Tomuras chest, Tomuras hand fisted up as he rested his arm over her. She spins around the second Touya's lifted himself up, revealing an irked look on her face.
"I wasn't cuddling him." Touya snorts, the lie leaving him rather pointlessly.
He also pulls away from Tomura, who lets go of Star, sitting up properly and stretching his back and arms out delicately.
He scoots to the end of the bed, not paying any attention to the anger radiating off Star and the pointlessly defiant look on Touya's face.
"Liar!" She replies straight away. "Lying is bad!"
"I don't cuddle." Touya insists, despite knowing full well he did.
He also knew full well that Star knew he did too. They cuddled all the time.
It wasn't his fault that his childhood had been totally deprived of physical affection so now he soaked in gentle and loving touches whenever he could.
"Liar liar pants on fire!" She accuses, clearly not hearing the hilarious irony in her statement. "You always cuddle me!"
Tomura huffs in amusement, standing from the bed and looking lazily over his shoulder at the two, his red eyes peering through baby blue bangs.
"Let him live his lie, Star." He smirks, looking directly at Touya with a glint of entertainment in his eyes. "He doesn't want to ruin his reputation."
"At least what people say 'bout me is cooler than bein' a man-child." Touya sneers back in return.
Star reaches for Touyas arm, her little hand wrapping around his infected wrist carefully. She looks up at him with fearful eyes, and Touya immediately realises his mistake.
"Not arguin' Starshine." He reassures her, moving hair out of her face to kiss her forehead.
Shigaraki pats Star's head carefully, as if wanting to reassure her too in his own clunky and awkward way.
"Let's let Dabi rest more. I want to show you a new game." Tomura tries to lure.
"A new game?" She questions shyly.
"Yes. There's animals. I'm sure you'll like it." Tomura replies matter of factly.
"Okay..." She nods and scoots herself out of the bed too.
Touya watches the two dawdle off together, Shigaraki's hand placed between her shoulders carefully pushing her towards the door, talking in a low voice to her.
Touya knows that voice too well. It's the voice he uses that makes you feel like you're the only two people in the world.
Star doesn't even look back before leaving.
Touya felt a little better at least.
His skin still felt as uncomfortably taut as ever and there was still the persistent itch that only ever affected the scarring, but the horrible ache and stinging pains on the reopened wounds that he had caused himself last night, had for the most part, gone.
The smoke before his nap had probably helped.
He would have taken something a little harder to help with the pain but couldn't physically move, and doubted that any of the other men left in the hotel would pick up for him without nagging him or making him feel bad about it, even if he could tell them about the pain he suffered on the daily.
He indulges himself a little longer in bed, giving Tomura time with Star.
She needed to learn to get a bit more comfortable with Tomura.
And just like he always did, he seemed to know how to win her over.
Tomura always seemed to know what people liked and how to use it to bond with people.
He did it with Toga and her fascination with love, listening to her endless stories of crushes and romance stories she'd read.
Touya had been surprised to overhear just how well read Shigaraki truly was when he responded to her excited chatter.
He had also done it with Spinner. They'd bonded pretty quickly over videogames, something they still partook in every day. They had their little inside jokes and made references between themselves that no-one else understood, but it made those two smirk and laugh.
And looking back on it, it made sense why he and Magne got on so well. They had more in common than anyone knew at the time, and it was hard not to enjoy Magne's company. Magne had been honest, sweet. She looked out for everyone else up until the very end.
Tomura had been the first and only one to never acknowledge Bubaigawara's second voice, too. He allowed him to talk and talk without any giggling or judgment about the contradictory statements that would leave the suited man. Everything he said was taken on board with as stoic a look as everyone else got.
Compress had been won over by Tomuras knowledge despite his young age, as well as being impressed by his quiet intelligence. That was something they were all pretty surprised by, even when they shouldn't have been, considering that he was their leader.
Touya couldn't tell what it was exactly that had done it for him.
As much as he denied it and was bratty with the smaller man, he respected his no-nonsense approach, even if the timing was poor at times. If he was pissed off at you, you knew about it. If you'd done a good job and he was pleased, you'd know about it. You didn't have to second guess Tomura. What he said is what he meant, a jarring difference to the types of people Touya had been around growing up.
Maybe it had been their equal competitiveness. Each of them would goad the other on, neither of them satisfied until the other had been proven wrong with a smug smile. No-one dared challenge Touya since the scarring. No-one dared even approach him first really, his face typically stoic and unreadable apart from subtle expressions thanks to the tight, uncomfortable skin on his face.
It could have even been the fact Tomura stood up for Star in a bar full of people that were frozen with shock. God knows that Touya's admiration for Bubaigawara had shot up when he'd launched himself at that prick Muscular after calling Star fat.
The looks helped. He was pretty in an unconventional way.
Warm red eyes that were a complete contrast to his own. Cracked skin around his lips and eyes that reminded him more of cracked marble than the clear untreated skin condition that it was. The little beauty mark on his chin...
Touya shakes the thought from his head.
The main fact was that regardless of the fact they had agreed to try a relationship, Tomura was still the leader. Someone that Y/N needed to learn to trust and go to whenever Touya wasn't around.
He'd really been surprised she'd done that when she'd started bleeding, only to realise it was simply because she was worried she was dying.
The negligence of her mother and how little she taught her daughter growing up only sours Touya's mood, so he decides to get up. Maybe get a smoke in, see what Star and the others are up to. Eat dinner. Get Star to bed, maybe sneak into Tomuras room if his body doesn't begin to hurt again.
He pulls some new lounge clothes on before traipsing downstairs, heading straight for the courtyard to smoke.
No sign of Bubaigawara, who would usually be out there smoking too. Touya would never admit that he missed having the loud blonde chew his ear off with very little interaction back while he smoked.
Without someone to talk to, he flicks the cigarette away sooner than he usually would, and heads inside to catch up with the others.
And to his surprise he walks into the bar area to see Star sitting between Spinner and Tomura, Tomura's handheld console in her hands.
She never usually lets Spinner get that close without blushing uncontrollably, so whatever Tomura was letting her play must be good. Good enough to distract her at least.
"Click on that option to try and catch it." Tomura encourages, pointing loosely at a certain spot of the screen.
Star is clearly paying a lot of attention, her little tongue sticking out as she watches whatever's going on on the screen.
Touya's more than a little intrigued. He's never seen her focus so hard on something before that wasn't art related, so he sits on the back of the couch, looking over the top of her head at the screen.
"Aw!" Spinner and Star chime in unison as the little red and white ball on the screen pops open.
"Lower it's HP some more." Tomura guides.
Star pouts. "I don't wanna hurt it."
Touya chuckles and ruffles her hair.
Such a cute, innocent little baby.
She doesn't acknowledge it with an embarrassed whine or beam like he would usually get, just completely ignores the fact it's happened.
This stings Touya more than it probably should, but he tries to swallow down the ugly feelings that come up when being ignored.
"You can give it a potion and let it heal later." Tomura informs her. "It won't be hurt for long if you catch it."
"There's even a nurse!" Spinner chimes in, nudging Star playfully with his shoulder. "You can take it to her once you catch it to make the little guy all better again."
And there it is, her little ears turning pink at the tips, noticeable even as Touya sits behind her. He can't help but smile softly at her little crush.
"Okay..." She relents quietly, following Tomuras instructions.
All four of them watch the screen expectantly, waiting to see if Star catches the little creature on-screen.
Touya gets distracted by the sound of Kurogiri's warp gate opening, looking over to see the mist-formed man step into the room casually.
Tomura peers up too, momentarily distracted from Star's game and missing the moment she must have caught the creature as she punches the air excitedly and Spinner cheers her on.
"Tomura Shigaraki." Kurogiri greets. "Let's talk in the kitchen."
Tomura nods, getting up after a quick fist bump with Star.
"I wanna see that you've caught more when I get back, little Star." Tomura calls behind him as he walks away.
"'Kay!" She calls back.
Touya jumps over the back of the sofa, flopping down into the seat Tomura had been in and wraps an arm around Star's shoulders.
At least she allows that to happen, leaning into him, Spinner leaning too so he can continue watching her play.
Spinner is more useful than Touya when it comes to this game. Touya never got to have a normal childhood where he could play video games instead of training, but he tries to ignore the emptiness beginning to gnaw away at his insides in favor of seeing little Star genuinely enjoying herself.
*â¢*
She doesn't really talk much to him for the whole of that evening. She leans on him and doesn't make a fuss when he offers soft, gentle touches, so she doesn't seem too upset with him, but she's still not herself.
He bides his time, waiting until she's finally off that game that she got far too attached to far too quickly, begging Tomura to let her play it tomorrow. Something he agrees to let her do as long as she trains her quirk with him tomorrow.
She's reluctant, but agrees.
Her and Spinner talk about that game and all the little creatures you can catch in it over dinner, Touya trying desperately to blank the resurfacing feelings that came when he was being ignored.
To be fair to Compress and Tomura, they do keep trying to bring him into their conversation, but his body is starting to ache again which doesn't help his already souring mood.
After dinner, it gets to a point where he needs to smoke a blunt and go back to sleep to ignore the pain.
He murmurs to Tomura to send her up the second she looks tired, something Tomura nods a curt agreement to.
Gone were the days where he'd argue that the League wasn't a babysitting service, apparently.
Touya skulks off to the rooftop to smoke, only feeling the little girl's eyes on him briefly as he walks off.
He's glad he found this flat roof. It's peaceful, especially at night. The cool breeze offered a sweet relief from the boiling blood under his skin, and he always enjoyed stargazing, even as a kid.
Luckily the weed dulls his senses just enough to aid him to sleep, his eyes dropping shut the second his head hits the pillow.
He's out cold for god knows how long when a violent shake wakes him up, his body temperature spiking as he jolts forward, narrowly avoiding headbutting little Star as she sobs over him.
"Huh? Whassup?" He asks groggily, clumsily reaching for his crying child.
"I called you lots and you didn't wake up!" She cries, clinging to him. "I thought you were..."
She doesn't finish her sentence before beginning to bawl loudly, the sound of it going right through Touyas body. It makes his stomach turn like it always does whenever she cries or is in any kind of distress.
He holds her close. She didn't need to finish the sentence for him to understand anyway.
"M' sorry, Starshine." He slurs sleepily. "Was sleepin' good, tha's all."
Her little tears are beginning to soak through his shirt, and they won't stop spilling no matter how much he shushes and rocks her.
"Darlin', I'm not gonna croak that easy. Trust me." He sighs, beginning to wake up a little more.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you!" She exclaims into his chest, her little hands tightening their grip on his shirt momentarily.
Touya's a little surprised. He hadn't really processed that she might have been doing it on purpose.
He can't really place what he had done wrong that was bad enough to warrant being ignored for the evening, either.
He needed to get her to calm down enough to talk properly.
With a sigh he gently peels her away from his chest, moving her hair out of her face so he can try to look at her properly in the dark.
He gently brushes his thumbs under her eyes as he places his hands either side of her face.
"I'm fine, princess. See?" He whispers as quietly as he can. "I was jus' in a deep sleep. You don't needta panic."
She sniffles, her tiny features still all crumpled up.
"I want ya to calm down, an' then we can talk about it. Okay?" He asks, turning on the light by his side of the bed to help him search for the small duck he'd gotten her.
He continues to pet her cheek as her crying slows, warming up the beanie baby in his free hand.
Once he guesses it's warm enough, he presses it to her chest, and she folds immediately to cuddle it as she weeps.
"I was scared that you were gone like mom..." She says between heaved breaths.
"But I'm not." Touya reminds her. "Just havin' a good sleep. Probably drooled on your pillow a bit."
He was back to cracking dumb jokes and teasing her to cheer her up. Sometimes he found that worked better than being over-the-top soft with her.
Natsuo had always preferred that, too.
"Gross." She sniffles, moving to check.
He chuckles, ruffling her hair playfully.
Being called gross by her was nice in comparison to listening to her crying. It was normal behaviour from her, she didn't mean it and even if she did it would be the only time he'd find being called gross endearing.
"Don't get too close, might rub yer face in it." He teases.
"You're so gross!" She repeats a little more animatedly, rubbing her eyes dry with her free hand.
Touya just grins, perfectly happy to just have her attention again.
He didn't realise just how much he was hating being ignored by her until she started talking to him again. He missed her. His little girl.
He pulls her to him again, pressing a quick peck to her temple.
"Now. Why were you ignorin' me, hon?" He asks softly, hoping the embrace and the softer words won't scare her into thinking it's a confrontation.
She's quiet for a good few moments bar from the odd sniffle.
Touya doesn't mind. He's patient. He also would rather sit and hold her until she felt comfortable enough to share her reasons. He wouldn't scare her into submission like he'd been forced to as a child.
It takes a while, she's fully cuddled into his side, and Touya had assumed she'd fallen asleep by the time she speaks again.
"You cuddled Shigaraki but you never let me hug you when you're having a bad pain day." She admits quietly, sniffling again. "And then you lied about it even though I saw."
Touya sighs, leaning his chin on the top of her head and petting her hair.
He couldn't tell her that he was high and had no idea what he was doing. He needed to think of another excuse, something more child friendly.
"I was feelin' all delirious cause'a the pain, doll face." He lies fluently. "Didnt know what I was doin'."
He pauses, and tips her head back with a gentle grip on her chin.
"When I tell ya not to touch me on days like today, it's 'cause my body usually gets super hot. Remember when I burned you by accident?"
She nods as much as she can with her chin in his grasp.
"We don't want that to happen again, do we? Hurt, right?" He asks sympathetically.
She nods again.
"An' even if that didn't happen, doll..." Touya sighs. "When I have a bad day, my skin feels real sensitive. One small touch can feel like a buncha needles prickin' my skin. Do ya understand?"
She gives a small 'mhm', getting all teary again.
His heart sinks and he pauses once more, taking a deep breath before continuing for a final time.
"I'm not used ta havin' someone around when I'm feelin' bad. Used to dealin' with it alone. Sometimes when you're hurtin' you do just wanna be left alone."
"When I'm hurting or sad I wanna see you, though." She argues.
And Touya could understand that. He had the same feelings towards his mother when he was a kid before learning that she needed just as much comforting as the kids did.
He pulls her into a hug, squeezing her tight.
"That's real nice ta hear, little Star." He kisses her temple once more. "And you can always do that. But sometimes I need to be alone."
"Okay." She agrees weakly. "It's not because you love Shigaraki more than me?"
Touya scoffs. "I'll never love anyone more than you."
She nods and clings to him once more, her face buried into his shoulder.
He continues rocking her gently, slowly falling back to sleep as he holds her in silence apart from the odd sniffle here and there.
"You smell funny." She says with a sniffle after a while..
"Aw, thanks Starshine. You got sucha way with words." He rolls his eyes, grinning. "Get to sleep before I change my mind about you bein' my favourite."