**TW: Mention of CSA, death mention, references towards neglect, abuse and drug abuse.**
"You gotta come back. Stay away!" Jin immediately opens the phone call with.
"What?"Â Touya hisses, turning away from the potential recruit he'd managed to land.
"Little Star..." Jin begins.
Panic grips Touya's chest immediately, although he tries to keep his cool in front of the stranger leaning against the alleyway wall opposite him.
He doesn't seem pissed off yet, patiently waiting for Touya to finish his phone call while he smokes, looking around the darkened alleyway.
"What's happened? She alright?" Touya asks, his voice hushed.
He wants to turn his back to the stranger, but knows better than to do that, so simply tries his hardest to keep his voice as low as it could really go, and cover his mouth with his hand.
"Uh... she woke up a little grouchy." Jin begins with. "And Kurogiri was on my dick about gettin' her to do some school work."
Touya grunts, wishing he could motion with his hand for Jin to hurry it up.
"And y'know, Star didn't really feel like it, but she's gotta and..."
"Twice, get to the point." Touya snaps, sensing the potential recruit beginning to lose interest.
"Hey! Don't yell at me!" Jin barks back. "Jokes on you, I love it!"
"I'm working." Touya reminds him through gritted teeth.
"Well, she was bein' all grumpy, naw, she's a delight, and... well... I don't know. It got to me a little bit."
"F' she hurt your feelin's, pass her onto someone else." Touya sighs.
"No-ones here." Jin whines.
"Give her to duster then." Touya groans, fighting the urge to throw his hands in the air in frustration.
"He's out too."
"Oh for fuck..." Touya hisses. "Fine. I'll sort it out. Jus' put her in her room an' put Spirited Away on."
He hangs up, not wanting to entertain any further conversation with Jin.
"Sorry 'bout that." Touya lifts his shoulders a couple of times as if physically shaking that conversation off. "As I was sayin'..."
"Still fucking around with kids, huh?" The stranger asks, flicking his cigarette down the dark alleyway, landing it in a small puddle.
Touya scowls for a second in confusion, before what the other man asks settles in his head.
"The fuck didja say?" Touya asks, his voice low and dangerous.
"Ain't a problem, man." The small statured man holds his hands up defensively. "Jus' think you should lead with that instead of the righteous shit about changing society."
The implication of his earlier statement, now accompanied with the sarcasm towards the cause that Touya really fucking believed in and needed to happen to correct everything that had happened to him growing up begins to boil his blood.
"Like ya can't be that holier than thou when you're fuckin' kiddi-"
The last thread holding Touya's restraint together snaps and before he can even think twice about it, he's gripping the no-longer potential recruit by the shoulders, shoving his back against the alleyway wall.
He's surrounded by his own flames, he knows that much, and he can hear the familiar squealing of pain that often came with his flames, but his brain is too fogged up to really comprehend the severity of his current actions.
"Ain't a problem, huh?" Touya asks through gritted teeth, his nose nearly pressed against the screaming and flailing victim in his grip. "Well guess what? It fuckin' is a problem to me, asshole."
He's not even listening, and Touya knows it. He's panicking, his skin is melting off his bones and he's probably about a couple seconds away from passing out from the pain anyway.
"If you think that what they're accusin' us off isn't a problem, then you don't deserve the air you breathe anyway." Touya hisses, gripping him impossibly tighter.
He grips him the entire time, watching with bared teeth and a scowl as the man he had thought held some kind of potential became more and more unrecognisable in his grasp, only realising what he had done when his victim was more ash than human.
*â¢*
"Dabi!" Jin calls with relief the second Touya walks through the door.
He was still smoking the spliff he had rolled after collecting himself enough to realise he'd killed someone he'd been trying to recruit.
Jin's nose scrunches when he approaches Touya. Touya gets it, burning meat never smelt nice, and the weed probably didn't help matters either.
"M' gonna need a shower before I deal wi' your problem." Touya says blankly, dropping ash onto the marble flooring.
"Yup! Sure thing! Slacker!" Jin agrees and then sticks a thumb down at him. "Star's in her room. She really loves that movie, huh?"
"Yup." Touya flops onto one of the seats in the reception area carelessly, moving what remained of his smoke to his lips. "So what happened?"
"They got me doin' English with her!" Jin immediately starts to complain. "And y'know, I'm kinda the worst person to try and learn from because-"
"Couldn't give her a straight answer?" Touya finishes for him, blowing smoke from his nose.
"Well... yeah." Jin replies, sounding a little wounded.
"You tried anyway." Touya shrugs. "Counts for somethin'."
Jin's shoulders rise again at the vague reassurance.
"What'd she say that upset ya?" Touya asks.
His voice is as emotionless as ever, but he is genuinely curious. Jin was a big guy. He was a villain. And an adult.
Sure, kids could be a little brutal sometimes but even when Star was having a tantrum it was like watching a young kitten hiss and scratch.
What could a ten year old possibly say to a grown man to upset him?
"She..." Jin begins to explain and then shakes his head. "Don't want her gettin' into trouble. I'm just worried about her. I asked her what was wrong and she got all huffy."
"Spit it out, Twice." Touya drawls. His patience had already been tried and tested and now he was just painfully empty.
"She asked why I don't just speak normal." Jin replies, his voice a little quieter than its usual booming volume. "I didn't ask to be like this. Yaknow?"
Touya's a little taken aback. He'd seen confusion on Star's face before when Jin's second voice had perked up on occasion but never had she made any mocking comments or even questioned it really, she just accepted it like all the others did.
The only time she'd ever comment on it was when Jin would accidentally curse in front of her, both of them usually saying 'oops' in unison.
"Alright. I'll sort it." Touya sighs, flicking the end of the spliff across the room.
"Don't tell her off, man." Jin begs as Touya stands. "Tear her a new one!"
Touya ignores it, bumping Jin's shoulder with his fist gently to try and wordlessly show he's not actually pissed off with Jin, and that he's sorry for Star's behaviour.
The others were used to Touya's abrasiveness. They knew when what he did was him trying to make peace or make them feel better.
Touya heads to Shigaraki's shower instead of his own. He didn't want Star to smell the burned skin of the failed recruit, or the weed on him.
He stands under the water with his head pressed against the wall, ignoring the sting of the mascara he'd been wearing since dying his hair black running into his eyes.
He wipes the remnants of the makeup off carefully with a towel, mussing his hair with it soon after.
He throws the towel over the shower railing. Kurogiri'd probably clean it up when he was back from doing whatever he was doing.
With a deep breath, he opens the door to his shared room with Star.
Sure enough, she was buried amongst her plushies, her thumb in her mouth and her eyes fixed on the TV screen.
When Touya walks into view her head snaps to him and her little face lights up.
"Dabi!" She calls happily. "You came back early."
"Sure did." Touya agrees, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Got called back."
"Called back?" She quizzes.
Touya gives her a knowing look, and she freezes a little, fear passing over her features quickly.
Touya doesn't want her to fear him or the upcoming situation, so he tries to correct the situation by brushing the rough pad of his thumb over her cheek softly.
"You know why, dont'cha?" He asks gently.
Her little shoulders fall, a guilty look washing over her face.
And god, seeing her in any kind of distress makes him want to throw himself into the abyss.
She nods ever-so-slightly, big innocent eyes looking at him like he may swallow her whole any minute.
"Let's turn this off a sec so we can talk properly, yeah?" Touya asks, gesturing at the TV.
Little Star bobs her head nervously, and Touya pauses the movie.
Slowly he turns to face her again, petting her cheek softly.
"Can you tell me why you weren't behavin' with Uncle Jin?"
His wording is intentional. He knows she's more likely to listen if he words it like she'd broken the rules.
Not that she ever didn't behave or listen, really. He felt like giving her a pass just from that alone, he'd met a fair few bratty kids with a lot less reasons to be that way, after all.
Her little face falls, fear reappearing on her face for a reason Touya can't quite understand.
He hadn't yelled, probably would never be able to, which he was thankful for. At least he didn't have that rotten gene festering away in his fucked-up body.
"My tummy hurts." She replies quietly, leaning into his touch. "And I had a bad dream."
Touya nods, waiting for her to continue by herself, but she doesn't, just looks off distantly to the side.
"And?" He encourages gently.
"...It made me angry." She mumbles, moving her mouth against his palm instead of her cheek as if to silence herself.
He moves his hand away, the incident from earlier still fresh in his mind.
There's a flash of hurt in her eyes, but there's not much he can say to reassure her. He'd killed someone with the same hands an hour or so ago. He'd been accused of... no. He can't think about that right now.
"Why'd it make you angry?" He asks. "What was it about?"
She pauses for a little while, seeming to debate with herself whether to tell him or not.
He doesn't push, waits for her to tell him in her own time. If she decided to tell him at all, that was.
He was all too familiar with anger and what did and didn't help quell it, after all.
"Mom." She says quietly after a while.
He hums. Saw that one coming a mile off. Her nightmares usually revolved around that waste of space, but she tended to wake from them scared and sad. Not angry.
He reaches for her again, rubbing her small back reassuringly.
"Real things, or didja dream about things that didn't happen?" He asks patiently.
"Real things." She mumbles, picking at her hands.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, pushing aside the issue of Jin momentarily to figure out what about her dream had affected her so much.
She falls silent once more, thinking it over.
This time it takes a little less time for her to decide to open up, although she asks to be held first. Touya hesitates this time, the rumours he'd nearly forgotten about being brought up more than he cared for within the past week.
Not wanting to say no to his little Star, he pulls her close, petting her hair and resting his chin atop her head as she leans against him.
"Mom used to get mad at me for looking for her when I had scary dreams. Especially when she had a boyfriend." She begins, one of her little hands moving to hold onto Touya's shirt. "But when I have a bad dream or I'm scared, you and sometimes Tomura make me feel safe."
Touya hums an acknowledgement, wondering where she's going with this.
He drops a slight kiss to the top of her head for extra emphasis that even if he was going to have to talk to her about her behaviour this evening, he was still going to listen to her when she needed it.
"Mom never used to play with me, but you, Tomura, Spinner, Uncle Jin and Big Sis Himiko play with me whenever I want, and buy me new toys."
Touya's trying not to let his heart break in two as she outright states all these things about her childhood for the first time. He tries to remain stoic and even for her, as well as himself.
His hatred for her mother, someone he'd never met, would have to be pushed aside for now.
"And sometimes mom forgot to give me food because she went out a lot, or she was busy with her boyfriends, or hurting from the nasty men." She carries on, her hand now fisting at his shirt anxiously like some kind of toddler. "But Kurogiri and even Uncle Giran always make sure I have nice food."
Touya squeezes her a little tighter for a brief moment.
Part of him wanted her so desperately to stop talking, his quirk threatening to rise once again at the mere thought of someone mistreating his little girl like that. But he knew she needed to let it out.
He knew all too well how having so much tainted, horrible memories could eat away at your insides until you're rotting from the inside out.
"And mom stopped taking me to school when she started taking the sleepy medicine, and started having scarier boyfriends, but Kurogiri and Tomura always make sure I'm learning something even if I really don't wanna." She continues. "Dabi?"
"Yeah, Starshine?" He answers, adjusting his head so his cheek is resting on her head.
"Why didn't mom love me?" She asks, her voice so quiet that he's not even sure he heard it right.
And Touya didn't think he could fall apart like he did in Sekoto Peak all those years ago, but he does. Except this time it feels like his heart and stomach are being crushed and pulled out by hand.
And this kind of question required an immediate answer, but his immediate answer was not one suitable for a ten year old that hadn't quite come to terms with what all the things that she'd listed had done to her, and that none of it was by no means her own fault.
Touya kisses her head, firmly stroking her hair with the palm of his hand.
Buying himself time to think of an acceptable answer, really.
"Your mom loved you." He says slowly, uncertain if that was even true, but being smart enough to know that saying otherwise would destroy the little girl he loved so much.
"She was just... sick. And when you're sick like that, you don't really understand what you're doin' and how it's affectin' other people, 'cause you just wanna feel better."
He's probably explaining it poorly, Tomura was way better than him at explaining things in a way she understood.
But he was trying. Just like Jin tried.
And that thought alone sparked a lightbulb within his mind.
"See, your mom probably had these real big feelin's, you get me?" He asks, tipping her head back to try and catch her eye. "Y'know, like when I get real hot when I'm a little angry?"
Star nods, and he takes in the look on her face. She's actually listening to him properly without an ounce of doubt in her eyes, just like how she looks at Tomura when he's answering questions or telling her anything.
"Sometimes when I let the heat out, it makes me feel a little better, even though it hurts. You understand?" He asks patiently.
She nods, but he's unconvinced. He continues on anyway.
"Your mom probably had some feelin's that were too big for her body. Like my heat." He says slowly, his eyes scanning her face. "An' she used that sleepy medicine to make her feel a little better, even if it hurt. You understand?"
She nods a little more firmly.
"Kinda like you earlier." Touya continues, looking her in the eye. "Got yourself all upset, your feelin's got too big for your lil' body, and they kinda just came out at Uncle Jin, huh? Even though it hurt Uncle Jin, and now you probably feel a little bad too, right?"
She nods, beginning to sniffle a little bit.
He shushes her, holding her head to his chest with the palm of his hand.
"But even though you were a little mean ta Jin, ya still love him, right?" Touya asks.
She nods against his chest.
"And I know for a fact he still loves you." Touya reassures.
"You promise?" She asks quietly.
"Pinky promise." Touya vows, his lips brushing against her head.
She reaches her pinky towards Touya, and he grins lopsidedly, curling his own around hers.
"You do have to apologise though, princess." He informs her once their fingers are seperate.
"Okay." She agrees, looking up at him.
"I want you to sit on it a bit first. Think about what you said an' how it may have made him feel. Wait 'til you're not angry anymore to apologise, otherwise ya won't mean it." Touya continues. "Belly still hurtin'?"
She nods, passing him the small heatable duck without a word.
She watches as Touya heats up his hands enough to warm the duck up without damaging it, her eyes occasionally cautiously peering up at his face.
"Dabi?" She asks quietly.
"Yeah, doll?" He drawls, leaning his cheek on her head again.
He was getting sleepy now, and he could feel the itchy sensations and pain that came with overusing his quirk.
Must have been from roasting that filthy fucker earlier.
He frowns where she can't see it.
Stupid, useless, broken body.
"Are you going to punish me?" She asks, her voice weak with fear.
"We jus' had a nice little chat didn't we?" He asks calmly in return.
"Uh-huh."
"And you feel better? Not so angry anymore?" He continues to ask.
"Mhm."
"Then that's that." He says with a small shrug, passing her the warmed up plushie.
"But I broke the rules." She reminds him, her eyes teary once more and her lip wobbling. "I broke rule number four."
He sighs, cupping her face in both of his hands.
"Star. I told ya. We're not gonna do the whole 'punishment' thing, 'kay? We'll always try ta talk it out. You're not in trouble, but y'need to apologise to Uncle Jin somepoint before bed. Ain't nice goin' to bed mad at someone."
"You still want me?" She asks, a tear escaping the confines of her eyes.
Touya rolls his eyes, his lips pulling into a smirk.
She never quite got this part.
"What's rule number four for me?" He asks, tilting his head at her.
"You always have to love me." She replies quietly.
"There ya go then." He gently flicks her on the nose. "Now watch your movie, think about what to say to Uncle Jin and stop bein' a little brat."
"Only Tomura calls me that." She retorts, her little tears drying up near immediately as she frowns at his playfulness.
"Told me I could too."Â Touya shrugs, grinning like the Cheshire cat.
She really was so easy to wind up. It really was like having Fuyumi around sometimes.
"Nuh-uh." She argues.
"Uh-huh." Touya teases back, sticking his tongue out at her.
Her eyes widen when she sees the stitching and the metal bar through his tongue.
She points at him, and he grabs her little index finger, lowering it back to her side gently.
"Rude ta point." He says firmly.
"Your tongue!" She exclaims in shock. "Gross!"
He flinches momentarily, the word being used in regards to something about his appearance striking him a lot harder than how it did whenever she was referring to his and Tomura's relationship.
"Star-" He begins to warn, but then decides against it with a quick flicker of a frown between his eyebrows.
"This ain't even the gross part." He begins to tease again, despite his wounded ego. "Wanna see me take it off?"
He pretends to grab his tongue, and she squeals in panic, a mess of blankets, plushies and pillows flying up in the air as she backs away from him in horror.
"Don't! Don't!" She begs, hiding her face in her hands.
"Get thinkin' about what ta say to your beloved uncle and I'll keep it attached." He chuckles, turning the movie back on and realising it's near the end. "Gonna go for a smoke. Behave yourself, 'kay?"
"'Kay!" She agrees, peeking through her fingers. "...Love you."
"Yeah. Love you too kid." Touya replies, dropping a quick peck to her forehead as he stands from the bed.