Touya was furious.
He was at a whole new level of anger that he'd never felt before. Whenever he was awake he was on the edge of burning up, but he couldn't sleep unless the pain from his newer scars were bad enough that he had to pass out to deal with it, or if he smoked enough weed to numb his brain and body out.
He'd given up on storming the hospitals when he'd been in all of the ones around the warzone and come away empty handed, and was now trying more covert methods of getting her back.
That meant utilising Giran, trying to get the older man to get as much information out of the hospitals as he could. But it was taking too long, and with 'Tomura' off doing his own thing, Compress apprehended, and Twice out of commission, that left Touya, Toga, Spinner and Zero left.
And only one of them wasn't actively being sought out by the remainder of the heroes still wandering the streets of Japan. Because sure, there has been riots, and the people's faith in heroes had been shaken... but they sure as hell weren't on the League's side, either.
Which made trying to move things along quicker harder, because everyone's guards were all up, no-one trusted anyone anymore, and none of them knew what reaction there would be to their presence in the eye of the public.
On account of Touya's bad mood and self-destructive behaviour lately, the others were pretty much avoiding him.
He didn't blame them. He got it. He wasn't the nicest to be around right now.
Only Toga was brave enough to come to him, giving him the most hugs and attention he'd received from her ever. He couldn't tell if it was because she needed the comfort after what happened with Twice or because she wanted to comfort him.
He was particularly bad today after catching sight of a newspaper with a giant photograph of very recognisable people on the front of it.
Hawks, HakuchÅ and Star.
He'd tried to get closer without alerting any nearby civilians or the seller, desperate for any view of Star he could get at this point.
It looked like Hawks was smiling that stupid fake smile still, even with the scar running from his neck to his cheek, half of his hair length cut off after being singed by Touya's flames and his wings still missing. With those wings gone he looked so deliciously vulnerable.
HakuchÅ's smile looks less sure of itself, more forced... and Touya doesn't know how to feel about Star captured there on the front of the newspaper.
She's thin, thinner than she was when he'd last seen her. It looks like she has a nasal tube, which Touya could only assume was to get her to eat. That was... heartbreaking to say the least. Star loved to eat. She'd never turned down food while she'd been with him, because she, like him, knew how precious something like food could be.
She also looks tired, like she hadn't slept for weeks, which makes him angry. If she was in a hospital, supposedly being taken care of better than Touya could have offered himself, why did she look so awful?
And the worst part is, despite the headline being 'NUMBER TWO PRO HERO HAWKS ADOPTS RESCUED CHILD VICTIM'... She doesn't look happy about it.
She looks angry, her eyebrows pulled together and her little mouth drooping downwards.
There's also a hand on her arm, the owner cut off to the side. But she looks like she's tensing on the side she's being touched. A sign that she's not comfortable with it, or the person doing it.
And Touya can't decide whether he's relieved that she's unhappy about being adopted, or angry that they're doing it to her despite her being visibly displeased.
So he snatches a copy while the sellers are distracted, carrying it all the way to Giran's new office without reading it, trying to control his anger enough that his flames won't manifest and destroy the paper in his hand.
He walks into the office, ignoring Giran's lazy greeting and Zero's head bob of acknowledgement, slamming the newspaper on top of all the other files and papers on Giran's desk.
Giran glances at it thoughtfully, pulling the cigarette away from his lips.
"Ah." Is all he offers as he takes in what's in front of him.
"That all you can say?" Touya fumes. "I told you to fuckin' find something before some shit like this happened."
"They had everythin' under wraps, Dabi. I'm not a miracle worker." Giran replies calmly, despite Touya's mood.
"My kid's stuck with the chump that got her taken away, an' your only word is 'ah'?" Touya continues to argue.
Deep down, he knows that his anger is pointed at the wrong person, but he needed someone to take it out on, and Giran had never once walked away from him or made him feel less than whenever he got emotional.
Anger, or any kind of strong emotion was okay with Giran, it was safe to show, for the most part. It took him a while to get to that point with Giran, where he could really be candid. And when he did allow himself that chance... that was a rarity in Touya's life.
"Look at her." Touya demands, tapping her printed face harshly.
Giran cringes a little. "Yeah. I know."
"She's got a fuckin' feeding tube, old man."
"I can see tha', Dabi."
"So why didn't you fuckin' do something?" Touya hisses.
Giran sighs, stubbing out his cigarette and taking the newspaper, leaning back and reading it silently despite Touya's rising heat. Touya glares at him for a few moments while he reads in silence, Zero sitting there sipping his badly made coffee awkwardly, apparently still not used to consuming food or drinks.
Giran eventually puts the paper back down, scratching his greying hair roughly and then wiping his lower face with a heavily ringed hand.
"Yeah tha's a tough one. Ain't gonna lie." He admits, his voice cracking. "Poor lil' sunshine. She looks so thin an' sad."
Touya takes a deep breath through his nose. He didn't need what he already knew repeated back to him, he had eyes, he could see.
Giran takes his glasses off to rub his eyes roughly, Zero finally seeming to come to life and look between the two as they try, and fail, to collect themselves.
Touya was no stranger to emotional outbursts, but Giran... Touya had never seen Giran shaken. He'd never seen him so close to crying, and it was clear he was on the edge of it now.
"We know roughly where they live." Zero perks up suddenly. "We could keep watch over the house."
"He ain't gonna let either of them outta his sight for a long while." Touya sniffs harshly. "She's a fuckin' prisoner again wi' someone that ain't gonna treat her right."
"I don't need to sleep or eat. I can watch for any openings that come up." He offers.
"Jus' cause you think you don't need to doesn't mean you shouldn't." Touya hisses. "Your body needs the food to handle the all the quirks, never mind anythin' else, an' you need sleep because you're still human. Useless to me an' everyone else if you're weak and dead. Again."
Touya growls the last word, knowing that if he couldn't pull a reaction from Giran, there was definitely no chance of getting a reaction from Zero. But he's surprised to see his eye twitch slightly, even though the small smile remains, tugging his lips upwards ever so faintly.
"Of course." Zero replies calmly. "I'm simply trying to help."
"Don't be yellin' at Zero. He ain't done nothin' wrong." Giran defends. "If ya know where your winged pal lives, why're you over here wastin' time?"
Touya's temperature spikes quickly and harshly. "The fuck are you tryna say?"
Giran stares back at him with no fear. They'd butted heads enough while Touya was younger that he knew all too well that Touya wouldn't really move past vicious words.
He does eventually relent first though, waving his hand dismissively at Touya.
"Pickin' a fight wi' me won't get ya any closer to gettin' Star back an' you know it." Giran says. "Ya know we all want her back wi' ya, wi' us, so accept the help ya got."
Touya flips him off but doesn't say anything in response. He couldn't argue it, because the old man had a point.
"Nice." Giran snorts and rolls his eyes. "Zero, you can keep an eye near the house, an' I'll see if I can get a private eye involved."
Zero nods in response as Giran lights up another cigarette, taking a drag and rolling his wrist in a way that tells Touya he's waiting for something. Touya huffs, looking away.
"...Thanks, old man."
Giran nods, and returns his attention back to Zero, tapping his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray with his prosthetic fingers.
"Why don'tcha get started on tha', Zero? M' sure if Star caught sight of ya that she'd come runnin'." Giran suggests.
"Of course, it would be an honour to get Star back." Zero replies, standing instantly to leave.
"Great. Dabi, let's you an' I have a lil' chat while Zero's on tha'." Giran leans back in his chair again.
"Hey, Zero." Touya says, placing a hand on the stitched man's shoulder as he begins to walk past. "Get Star back by any force or means necessary, 'kay? An' be sure to tell 'em that's the order if ya get the chance to."
"Of course, Dabi." Zero nods. "I'll try my best."
"'Preciate it." Touya replies dryly, patting his shoulder and releasing him.
Touya flops carelessly into the seat Zero had been in before Touya had stormed in, his legs hanging over the arm of the chair. He eyes Giran as he smokes wordlessly before holding his hand out.
"Give me one of those." He demands coolly.
"Get yer own, ungrateful sod." Giran huffs.
"Smoked 'em all." Touya shrugs. "Can't exactly get more."
Giran rolls his pink eyes, but pulls a cigarette from the packet and places it in Touya's scarred palm, tapping the newer scarring a couple times, not that Touya can feel it.
"Ya need to stop." Giran says simply.
"Thing is, old man..." Touya says, bringing the cigarette to his lips and lighting it with a small blue flame from his finger. "...When people tell me ta stop it jus' makes me wanna do it more."
Giran deadpans at him, running his eyes over all of the extra scarring visible on Touya's body in a way that he knows Touya hates.
"Yer gonna burn yerself out before ya geta see Star again at this rate. An' if ya keep treatin' everyone the way you are, well..." Giran trails off.
He doesn't need to finish the sentence because Touya knows. The more abrasive and aggressive he gets, the more they'll all pull away from him. The family he'd managed to build after so many years of being alone... Well, they'd be gone. And if he couldn't get Star back, he'd be alone again.
He wouldn't mind being alone with Star. They'd done it before, they could do it again.
But he knows, realistically, Star wears her heart on her sleeve, she loves with her whole heart and nothing less. And Star loved their little found family. She'd be heartbroken to leave them, or be left by them. The picture of her in the newspaper on the desk between them said it all.
"It'll be alri'. They get it." Touya sniffs, rubbing his pierced nose roughly.
Giran raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment further, instead knocking some ash into the tray as he changes the subject.
"Seen Shigaraki?"
"Sure, 've seen what's left of him." Touya says coldly. "Fuckin' told him it was a bad idea. That ain't even him anymore."
Giran gazes at him thoughtfully through the smoke. "Got a lot on yer mind."
"Yup." Touya snorts, leaning his head back as he smokes, staring up at the ceiling.
"Let it out." Giran says, kicking his own feet up on the desk.
Touya snorts again, a bit more derisively. He wasn't one to open up in general, never mind when someone practically demanded it of him.
He continues to sit in silence with Giran, the only sounds in the office being that of them inhaling and exhaling smoke for a while.
"I miss the lil' love." Giran says softly. "Miss hearin' 'bout her adventures wi' ya all, an' seein' her drawin's and helpin' her out when she wanted it. Loved spoilin' the little darlin'."
Touya frowns as an instant wave of nausea hits him. The idea of never hearing her voice again, of never seeing her progress with her drawings and never putting her into art school like he and Tomura had half-planned... It was enough to knock him sick.
"You don't even know the half of it." He mutters.
"Wanna feed her all th' pancakes and sundaes I coul' make the girl after seein' that picture." Giran continues sadly.
"Shut up." Touya replies sourly.
It hurt to think of her in a way that wasn't fuelled by anger at the situation. It was easier to be angry at the two feathered fucks that tore her from him than it was to be sad that she was out of his reach.
"When we get 'er back I'm gonna treat her t' some new art goodies." Giran continues despite the warning, stubbing out his cigarette.
"I said shut up." Touya repeats coldly, turning his head to glare at the grey-haired man.
"She deserves i-"
"I said shut up!" Touya snaps, sitting upright, his glare turning into a scowl. "Stop talkin' about her."
"Why? I'm allowed ta talk 'bout my granddaughter if I want." Giran defends.
"Don't call her that." Touya hisses.
"Tha's what she is." Giran doubles down. "Yer my son, an' she's my gran'daugh-"
"A dad wouldn't fuckin' let their kid go that easy!" Touya yells. "A real dad wouldn't've fuckin' got so easily distracted an' let someone snatch her!"
Giran falls silent, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his armchair, his face oddly peaceful despite Touya's raised voice and body temperature.
"Now she's out there, fuckin' scared and alone again. I failed her. Didn't even get ta say bye or give her a hug!" Touya continues to yell. "The last thing I fuckin' said to her was her own damn name! She saw..."
Touya hisses inwardly, remembering the look of panic on her face and the sound of distress in her voice when she'd seen her beloved Uncle Jin on the floor with a blade in his back.
"...She saw Jin." He says quietly, averting his eyes and flopping back over the arm of the seat again.
Giran doesn't offer a comment, just continues sitting quietly and watching Touya, those dull pink eyes somehow finding a way to burn into him.
"Ya feel better now?" He asks after a painful silence.
"No I don't fuckin' feel better, old man." Touya snaps. "I feel like shit. I miss the kid. I miss Tomura."
He hauls himself up with a wince, his skin beginning to hurt again. He'd said too much, let too much out. He needed to go, and fast.
Before he even manages to pull himself fully out of the chair, Giran throws the box of cigarettes towards Touya, trusting in his hyper-vigilance that he'll catch them before they make contact with him. He does, more aware of his surroundings than he'd like to be at all times.
"You need 'em more than me." Giran says simply, waving him off. "Ya know where I am when yer ready."
Touya just rolls his eyes away, pocketing the cigarettes and leaving the office, the new numb scarring on his face making him unaware of the blood streaking underneath his eyes.
*â¢*
"Touya!" Toga calls the second he walks in the door, running up to him, ready to jump onto him for a hug.
"Hurts." He informs her curtly.
She ignores him, wrapping her arms around him anyway, except just a little gentler than she usually would. Her face is buried into his side, and he naturally just places his hand on the top of her head, between the two buns she always wore when she went out.
"You were gone for two whole days!" She whines as he continues walking with her latched to his side. "I missed you! Where'd you go?"
"Where'd ya think?" He asks in return, rather dryly.
It doesn't put her off though, his bad moods never did. Instead she pouts up at him.
"Still nothing?" She asks sadly.
"She's with Hawks an' Hawks Jr." He replies, spitting the names out with nothing but venom behind them.
Toga's eyes flash darkly, and she lets go of him as they reach the stairs, but still continues to follow him, trying to hold his hand, even when he moves his hand intentionally away from hers.
"Can we go and get her?" She asks hopefully, still trying to grab his hand. "Did you see Tomura?"
"No." He replies bluntly. "An' no."
Her shoulders drop at that, and she finally gives up trying to connect their hands as they walk across the hallway, Touya making a beeline for Star's room.
He'd been staying in there curled up with her huge duck every night he was at the old CRC base, and the duck was now wearing one of Tomura's hoodies. No-one else had dared enter while he was in there.
Until today, apparently.
"No, Toga." He says firmly, holding his hand against her forehead to stop her from following in after him.
"Please? I missed you! Spinner's been all worried and Zero's been busy." She pouts. "Please, please, please-"
She carries on begging and trying to get past Touya and into Star's room no matter how he tries to get her to go away.
"Oh for fucks sake!" He snaps irritably. "Fine, but you gotta get me the good painkillers from mine and Tomura's room."
Her face instantly lights up and she darts off into their room, returning in no time at all, not even giving him enough time to hurriedly try to pull the hoodie off the damn plush before she's in the room, box in hand.
Instead of a mocking smile, she takes in the scene with a pitying look in her eyes. Touya can't decide which is worse.
"Tell anyone an' I'll fry those buns right offa your head. Got it?" He threatens emptily.
She nods immediately, not wanting to push Touya too far just in case he does go through with the threat.
He takes the pills and flops onto Star's bed, looking at the picture that Giran had painted of her and Touya feeding the ducks, trying to pretend he was there instead of here.
Toga manages to wiggle up close to his side, laying her head on his throbbing chest as softly as she can.
Now he's down, he probably won't be able to move for a while. Probably a good thing that Toga insisted on being here with him, even if his body was sore and aching and he wanted to be alone.
But he might be able to pretend that she's Star for a bit and be soothed enough that she might be safe, and be able to fall to sleep peacefully for the first time since she'd been taken.
"We love you, big bro Touya." Toga says softly, licking his face like some kind of cat.
He must have bled again, so he just allows her to do it. It's a weird habit, but they all had their 'quirks'. And just like a cat would, it was Toga's form of showing affection.
And although he would never admit it, he loved any kind of affection he could receive from them all.
Especially Star.
And if Star couldn't be retrieved from her new life... Touya wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself from continuing on his path of destruction until the bitter end.
Stuck in that train of thought, he replies:
"Don't."