Chapter 19: I left, Again.

Rain's POV

I woke up with a slight headache, my body heavy with the remnants of last night's indulgence. Groaning softly, I rubbed my eyes and stretched, only to pause when I felt the soft fabric against my skin.

Pajamas?

A frown creased my forehead as I glanced down at myself. These weren't mine.

Confused, I sat up and looked around. The room was unfamiliar yet strangely... familiar. My eyes darted to the bed sheets-the texture, the scent, the color. The linen. The pillows. The panoramic view from the wide glass windows. The curtains swaying lightly with the morning breeze.

No.

No way.

I threw off the blanket and stood up abruptly, my pulse racing. My gaze swept across the room, searching for confirmation of the impossible. That's when I saw it-perched on the nightstand beside the bed. A picture frame.

Me and Khai.

My breath hitched.

"Oh my God," I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest.

A sudden knock on the door made me jump. Before I could react, it swung open.

"Hey, Rain! Good, you're already awake." A familiar voice greeted me warmly. "I prepared a smoothie for you at the counter, and of course, your favorite-waffles, bacon, and eggs."

Jessica.

She smiled at me like nothing had changed. Like I had never left.

I followed her toward the kitchen, still disoriented. As I walked through the penthouse, my surroundings only deepened my unease. The living room-the way it was arranged, the placement of the furniture, the little trinkets-it was all the same. Exactly as I had left it years ago.

As if time had stood still here.

Jessica slid a mango smoothie toward me. "Did you sleep well last night?" she asked casually.

I barely nodded, my fingers wrapping around the cold glass as my eyes roamed the space again. There were some new additions, but the essence of this place remained untouched. Preserved.

"Where's Khai?" I finally asked, my voice quieter than I intended.

Jessica took a sip of her own drink before answering. "Oh, she took her usual morning run. She'll be back by eight."

My grip tightened around the smoothie.

Khai.

I wasn't ready for this.

Jessica leaned against the counter, watching me as I hesitantly took a sip of the smoothie. Then, with a warm smile, she asked, "How are you? I'm really happy to see you again."

I gave a casual shrug. "I'm good-except for the hangover from last night."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Yeah, you were really wasted." Then, pointing to the plate in front of me, she added, "Oh, by the way, eat this. Khai asked me to cook it for you."

I glanced down at the plate-waffles, bacon, and eggs. My favorite.

A strange feeling settled in my chest, but I pushed it aside as I stood up and wandered around the penthouse. My fingers lightly grazed the back of the couch, the marble countertop, the edge of the dining table. Everything felt... untouched.

"The placement of the furniture, the scent of the candles..." I murmured, my voice trailing off as the memories flooded back.

Jessica smirked knowingly. "Yeah, she didn't want to move anything. She'd get mad at me if I even tried to shift one thing."

I turned to her, surprised. "Really?"

Jessica nodded, popping a bite of pancake into her mouth.

A weighted silence settled between us before I finally asked the question I had been avoiding. "How was she... when I left?"

Jessica paused, fork hovering mid-air. Her hesitation was brief, but I caught it. She exhaled, choosing her words carefully. "She was... okay."

I narrowed my eyes. "Jess-"

She cut me off with a sigh. "Fine. She wasn't okay. Or let's put it this way-Khai went through a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean figuratively and literally."

Something in my chest tightened.

I swallowed. "What happened?"

Jessica just looked at me, as if deciding whether I was ready to hear the answer.

Jessica exhaled sharply, crossing her arms. "She should be the one answering that, not me."

I let out a small sigh. "Jessica, please-"

She shook her head. "Since you left, a lot has happened. In fact, you shouldn't be here."

Her words sent a chill down my spine. My brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Before Jessica could respond, the front door opened.

"Hey, you're awake."

That voice. That familiar, deep yet soothing voice.

I turned, and there she was-Khai, slightly out of breath, dressed in her usual running gear. Strands of damp hair stuck to her forehead, and the sight of her, standing there, so effortlessly radiant, made my heart skip a beat.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked casually, her expression unreadable.

I swallowed. "Yeah... I did."

She nodded, grabbing a towel from the counter. "I just need to take a quick shower, then I'll drop you off at your hotel."

I shifted on my feet. "No need, I'll just take a cab."

Khai stilled for a moment before turning toward me. "I understand if you're not comfortable, but I'll have Manuel drop you off if that would make you feel better."

There was something in her voice-something controlled, careful, as if she was trying to maintain a safe distance.

Jessica, who had been silently watching our exchange, cleared her throat. "I'll go check on some things." She slipped away, leaving just the two of us.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with words left unsaid.

The silence between us was suffocating.

Khai stood a few feet away, her posture rigid, her face carefully neutral-but I could see it. The restraint. The tension in her shoulders. The way she avoided my eyes like she was bracing for something inevitable.

I took a deep breath and finally broke the silence.

"Khai... what happened?"

Her gaze flickered to mine, intense yet guarded. "Last night?"

I shook my head. "No-what happened after I left?" My voice wavered, but I pressed on. "Why didn't you go after me?"

Khai remained still, unshaken, always the same Khai-controlled, measured. "I think it's better to leave things behind, Rain."

"No, it wasn't." My voice cracked as frustration surged inside me. "It will never be."

I could feel my emotions boiling over, no longer something I could suppress. The anger, the sadness, the regret-they all spilled out at once.

"Why?" I demanded, my voice trembling. "Why, Khai? Please, just help me understand-why did you allow this to happen? Why did you let go that easily? Why?"

I searched her face for answers, for something-anything-to explain the gaping wound she left in my life.

But Khai, ever composed, didn't flinch. She just held my gaze, her expression unreadable-until she finally spoke, her voice low and deliberate.

"If there is one thing I regret in my whole existence," she said, "it was the moment I let go of you."

My breath hitched.

"But," she continued, and I hated the weight in her tone, the finality of it, "I would do it again if it means you're happy. If it means you're having the best time of your life... I'll do it again."

Her words felt like a dagger to my chest. Because of all the things I wanted to hear from her, this was not one of them.

I felt the air leave my lungs, my chest tightening with a painful mix of frustration and heartbreak.

I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms as the weight of her words crashed over me.

"Fuck you, Khai!" My voice trembled, but it was laced with anger, with hurt. "You know I waited for you! I waited for you, Khai!"

She didn't move, didn't say a word. Just stood there, her expression unreadable, as if she had already made peace with this moment-like she had expected it.

That only made it worse.

I turned on my heel, storming out of the room. My hands moved on their own, gathering my things with frantic energy, as if leaving fast enough would erase the ache in my chest.

As I stepped out, my eyes landed on her again.

Khai was standing in the middle of the living room, frozen in place. Her shoulders were stiff, her hands curled into fists at her sides. She wasn't looking at me. Instead, her gaze was locked on the floor, as if staring hard enough could stop whatever storm was raging inside her.

But she didn't stop me.

She didn't call my name.

She didn't ask me to stay.

So I left.

Again.

***

I shut my eyes for a moment, my head still throbbing from the hangover as I took a deep breath. The scent of Khai's pajamas lingered on my skin—a mix of fresh linen and something distinctly hers. I needed to shake this off. I needed to focus. Today was important. I had to be at the venue for the last rehearsal by 2:30 PM.

A soft knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts.

"Surprise!"

I turned to see Louise standing at the doorway, grinning as she held up a garment bag. She stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind her. "Look what just got delivered. Your dress."

I sat up, rubbing my temples. "Lou, not so loud."

She ignored me and laid the bag across the bed, unzipping it with a dramatic flourish. "Ta-da! Your Maid of Honor dress, crafted to perfection," she said, running her fingers over the smooth silk. The dusty rose and indigo blue fabric shimmered under the light, elegant and breathtaking.

I tried to muster excitement, but my head felt like it was being hammered from the inside.

Louise turned to me, hands on her hips, her sharp eyes narrowing. "So," she drawled, "where were you last night?"

I sighed, plopping back onto the bed. "Penthouse."

She smirked knowingly. "That's what I thought."

Before I could protest, she tossed her phone at me. It landed on my stomach with a soft thud, the screen lighting up with endless missed calls and messages.

"Mel's been calling you all morning, by the way. She's been looking for you."

My stomach dropped. "Shit!" I scrambled up, running a hand through my hair. In all the chaos, I had completely forgotten about Mel.

Louise watched, unimpressed, as I quickly hit call. The phone barely rang before Mel picked up.

"Hey, babe," I greeted, trying to sound normal, but my voice was hoarse from sleep—or from drinking.

There was a long pause on the other end. Then, in a tone far too casual to be actually casual, Mel spoke.

"Having fun last night, hub?"

I froze.

Louise snorted, flopping onto the bed beside me. "Busted," she mouthed.

I forced a laugh, but my mind was blank. The truth was, I didn't remember much. The last clear memory I had was stepping outside the venue, the cold air hitting my skin... and then Khai. Khai wrapping her blazer around me. After that, everything was a blur. I had woken up in her penthouse, in her bed, wearing her pajamas.

Shit.

Mel was still waiting for an answer.

I swallowed hard. "I—uh—I just woke up. Really bad headache." I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping she'd buy it.

Mel's voice softened slightly, though there was still an edge to it. "Make sure you drink lots of water, okay?"

I let out a small breath of relief. "Yeah, I will."

There was a brief pause before she added, "I gotta go—I still have things to settle here."

"Okay. I'll see you later?" I asked, trying to gauge her tone.

"Yeah. Don't be late for the rehearsal," she reminded me before hanging up.

I let the phone drop onto the bed, rubbing my face with both hands.

Louise, who had been silently watching, raised an eyebrow. "Well, that was mildly painful."

I shot her a look. "Not helping."

She leaned back against the headboard, crossing her arms. "You're lucky she didn't press harder. So... do you even know what happened last night?"

I hesitated, the hazy fragments of the night before slipping through my fingers like sand. "I—" I sighed, shaking my head. "I just remember leaving the party... then Khai was there. After that, it's all a blur."

Louise hummed, giving me a knowing look. "And you woke up in her penthouse. Wearing her pajamas."

I groaned, grabbing a pillow and burying my face in it. "I don't need the reminder."

"Oh, but you do," she teased. Then, after a moment, her voice turned serious. "Rain, are you sure this is a good idea? You're about to stand at the altar as the Maid of Honor while your fiancée waits at the other end. Meanwhile, you just spent the night in your ex's penthouse."

I stiffened at her words, but I had no answer. Because deep down, I wasn't sure either.

I let out a big sigh, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I don't know, Lou... I don't know. Sometimes, I just want to vanish." I ran a hand through my hair, frustration and exhaustion mixing into something I couldn't quite name.

Louise didn't respond right away. Instead, she studied me, her eyes sharp, searching. Then, with an almost impossible calm, she asked, "Hey, tell me honestly—do you really want to be engaged? Or did you just say yes because you didn't want Mel to feel bad?"

The question hit me harder than I expected. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My throat felt tight. The truth—the one I had been burying, ignoring, pushing aside—was standing right in front of me, demanding to be acknowledged.

Louise tilted her head, waiting. "Rain?"

I swallowed, my fingers twisting the hem of Khai's oversized pajama top. "I... I love Mel," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. It was the safest answer. The expected one.

Louise exhaled, unimpressed. "That's not what I asked."

I looked away, my heart hammering. "She's good to me. She's kind, she makes me feel safe—"

"That's not what I asked either." Louise cut me off, leaning forward. "Do you want this, Rain? Do you want her the way you wanted Khai?"

My stomach twisted, and for a moment, I hated Louise for being so direct, for forcing me to look at something I had spent years avoiding. But the silence that followed spoke louder than anything I could have said.

Louise sighed. "That's what I thought." She stood up, grabbing the dress bag and placing it on the dresser. "You should figure it out before you walk down that aisle—because if you don't, you're going to break her heart in a way that she won't recover from."

She gave me one last look, a mix of understanding and disappointment, before walking toward the door.

"And Rain?" She hesitated for just a second. "You can lie to yourself all you want—but your heart knows the truth."

I let out a deep sigh, the weight of everything pressing down on me like a boulder. "I don't know, Lou... I don't know. Sometimes, I just want to vanish." My fingers tangled in my hair as I stared at the ceiling, my mind spinning in too many directions.

Louise gave me a look—one of those impossible, all-knowing looks that only she could pull off. She crossed her arms, shifting her weight onto one foot. "Hey, tell me honestly—do you really want to be engaged? Or did you just say yes because you didn't want Mel to feel bad?"

The question landed like a gut punch. I blinked, my breath catching for a second. "I... I love Mel," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. It felt like the right answer—the safe answer.

Louise let out an unimpressed sigh. "That's not what I asked, Rain."

I swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably. "She's good to me," I tried again. "She's kind. She makes me feel safe—"

"Safe?" Louise's brow shot up. "That's it? You're marrying her because she makes you feel safe?"

I hesitated. "I just mean... she's stable. She loves me. I know she won't hurt me."

Louise sighed again, this time heavier, and sat down at the edge of the bed, facing me. "Okay, let's get one thing straight. Nobody is asking if Mel is a bad person. We all know she adores you. But that's not the damn question, Rain."

I looked at her, my chest tightening.

"The question," she continued, "is whether you want this. Not if she's good, not if she's safe, not if she treats you well. I'm asking if you want her. If you want this engagement. If you want this life with her."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I didn't know how to answer.

Louise tilted her head, watching me carefully. "Do you feel the same way about Mel that you felt about Khai?"

I flinched at the name. My throat went dry. My pulse pounded so loudly I swore she could hear it.

"Lou..." I breathed, shaking my head. "That's not fair."

"It's the only fair question, Rain." Her voice softened, but her gaze didn't waver. "You can lie to yourself all you want, but deep down, you already know the answer."

I looked away, staring at the floor. My hands curled into the fabric of Khai's oversized pajama top.

Louise exhaled, standing up. "Look, I'm not telling you to do anything drastic. I'm just saying, think before you make a mistake you can't take back. Because if you go through with this while still carrying someone else in your heart..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "It's not just you who's going to get hurt."

She grabbed the dress bag and placed it on the dresser. "You should figure it out before you walk down that aisle—because if you don't, you're going to break Mel's heart in a way she won't recover from."

Her words cut through me, slicing straight to a truth I wasn't ready to face.

Louise walked toward the door but paused before leaving. She turned back, giving me one last, long look. "And Rain?"

I swallowed, meeting her eyes.

"You don't have to say it out loud. You don't have to admit it to me, to Mel, or even to Khai." Her voice was gentle, but her meaning was razor-sharp. "But you know the truth. And eventually, so will she."

Then she was gone, leaving me in silence—alone with my thoughts, my regrets, and the undeniable ache in my chest.

After Louise tore me apart with her words of wisdom, I wasted no time. I needed to clear my head, push away the turmoil she stirred up, and focus on what was in front of me. I quickly freshened up, slipping into a simple yet elegant dress, then grabbed my things and headed straight to the rehearsal venue.

I arrived early—intentionally. I didn't want to make a grand entrance or deal with questioning looks. I just wanted to blend in, to go through the motions, to act like everything was fine. Because wasn't that what I had been doing all this time? Pretending?

One by one, the entourage started arriving. Kroft walked in first, ever the reliable groomsman, looking sharp and effortlessly cool. Therese and Ikaris followed, chatting and laughing as they found their places. Louise arrived next, flashing me a look that said, I hope you've been thinking about what I said. I ignored it.

Then came the moment that sent a jolt through my entire body.

The best woman.

I turned my head, and there she was—Khai.

Dressed in a crisp suit, hair pulled back just enough to still be effortlessly messy, she exuded the kind of quiet confidence that had always drawn me in. She walked in like she belonged there, completely at ease, like she hadn't just shattered my world this morning. Like we hadn't just stood in a room together, throwing words that cut deeper than we wanted to admit.

And yet, as if she could sense me looking, her eyes found mine.

Everything else disappeared for a moment—the chatter, music, and wedding preparations. It was just us, standing in this beautifully decorated venue to celebrate love.

And suddenly, I wasn't so sure if I was celebrating or mourning.

The rehearsals began, and the organizers wasted no time barking orders. We followed their instructions like clockwork—walking down the aisle, adjusting our pace, repeating the sequence over and over again until it was ingrained in us.

And yet, every now and then, I found my gaze drifting toward her.

Khai moved with the same composed, effortless grace that she always had. She listened intently to the organizers, nodding at their directions, occasionally exchanging a few words with the groom. But it was the way she carried herself, the way she blended so seamlessly into this wedding, that made my stomach twist. How could she stand there like nothing happened? Like we didn't just rip open old wounds hours ago?

Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed Kroft sneaking up beside me.

"Hey, Rain," he whispered in a low, teasing voice.

I sighed, already knowing where this was going. "What, Kroft?"

He leaned in slightly, his grin widening. "Where did you end up last night?"

Before I could even process his words, Louise shot him a murderous glare—a silent shut the fuck up warning. I thought that would be enough to make him drop it.

I was wrong.

Suddenly, his voice rang out through the church, loud and clear for everyone to hear.

"Rai-naaaaahhh! I know what you did last night!"

A few heads turned. Some chuckled. Others smirked knowingly.

My jaw dropped. "Kroft! OH MY GOD, you're impossible!" I hissed, smacking his arm, my face burning with embarrassment.

He only laughed, completely unbothered. Meanwhile, Louise looked like she was about two seconds away from throwing a flower arrangement at him.

I dared a glance in Khai's direction.

She was standing across the aisle, her expression unreadable, her eyes locked onto mine.

And just like that, the air felt heavier.

As the rehearsals neared their end, Kroft, Louise, and I settled into a quiet corner at the far end of the church, half-listening to the final instructions from the organizer. The main event—the bride and groom's final walkthrough—was still ongoing, so we had a few moments to ourselves before we were officially dismissed.

I tried to focus on what was happening in front of me, but my thoughts wandered elsewhere.

What would happen on my wedding day?

When it's my turn to walk down the aisle, will I feel the same excitement I once thought I would? Or will it feel like I'm walking toward something inevitable, something I said yes to out of obligation rather than love?

A strange tightness crept into my chest at the thought.

"Uh-oh."

Louise's voice snapped me out of my spiraling thoughts.

I blinked, turning to her, only to find her watching me with narrowed eyes and a knowing smirk.

"What?" I asked, feigning innocence.

She tilted her head. "Are you having wedding jitters now?"

Kroft let out a chuckle beside her. "Oof, that's not a good sign, Rain," he teased, nudging my arm. "Cold feet already?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "No, it's not that."

But even as I said it, I wasn't sure if I believed myself.

Louise crossed her arms, still smirking. "Mmhmm. You sure? Because you had that look—the I'm overthinking my entire life choices look."

Kroft nodded in agreement. "Yeah, the same look you had back in college when you almost changed your major on a whim."

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm just... thinking."

Louise and Kroft exchanged a glance.

"Thinking about what exactly?" Louise pressed.

I hesitated. "Just... how fast everything's happening."

Louise's smirk faltered slightly. "And how do you feel about that?"

I shrugged, suddenly feeling exposed under their scrutiny. "I don't know."

Kroft let out a dramatic sigh. "Rain, you do realize that not knowing is kinda a big deal, right?"

Louise leaned in slightly, lowering her voice. "Listen, Rain, I'm just gonna ask you this once—do you really want to get married? Or did you just say yes because you didn't want to disappoint Mel?"

Her words landed like a sharp jab to my gut.

I opened my mouth to respond.

But nothing came out.

The usual traffic heading to Jackson downtown was, as expected, daunting. I sat in the back with Ikaris and Therese, while Kroft rode with Louise. Khai, as always, drove alone.

Therese, ever the conversation starter, glanced at me. "So, do you and Mel have dates for your big day?"

I answered casually, keeping my gaze outside the window. "Mel wants to finish her contract in Canada first. She has about two more months left, and she's thinking we could probably have the wedding next July."

Ikaris, who had been scrolling through his phone, looked up. "Wow, you still have plenty of time, Rain—plenty of time to, you know... figure things out."

Therese turned to him, her brows furrowing. "What do you mean by that, babe?"

Ikaris shrugged. "Well, a lot has been going on, and Rain, for sure, has so many things to do before settling down."

There was something in his tone—subtle, but pointed. He knew. They all knew.

Therese, not one to drop a subject easily, turned back to me. "How's Mel so far?"

I kept my voice light. "She's good. Always busy with work."

She hummed, then tilted her head. "Did you ever get a chance to visit her in Canada?"

The question hit harder than it should have. My fingers curled slightly against my lap as silence filled the car for a brief moment. Then, I finally spoke, keeping my tone neutral. "No. My schedule's been hectic. Maybe soon."

But even as the words left my mouth, I knew the truth—Therese was right. I hadn't visited Mel in Canada. Not once. Not even after she proposed.

I'll make some time once I get back to Chicago.

At least, that's what I told myself.

A few minutes later, we finally arrived at the restaurant.

The restaurant had a cozy ambiance, warm lights casting a soft glow over our reserved table. Kroft and Louise were already seated when we arrived, comfortably chatting while waiting for the rest of us to settle in.

Khai, however, was still nowhere to be seen.

As I pulled out my chair, Kroft turned to me with a smirk. "Rain, where's Khai?"

I rolled my eyes, sighing dramatically. "Do I look like the department of lost and found?"

Louise snickered as Kroft leaned back against his seat, grinning. "You know, for someone who doesn't care, you sure have a lot of energy when it comes to her."

I ignored him, pretending to scan the menu like I hadn't just heard that.

After placing our orders, Louise suddenly clapped her hands together. "Alright, since Khai is not here yet, let's address the elephant in the room."

I lifted a brow. "Which one? Because I swear, there are at least three elephants in here."

Kroft chuckled. "Yeah, Louise, since when did you get so hyped up about Rain and Khai's epic love story?" His grin was nothing short of mischievous.

Louise placed a hand over her chest, feigning offense. "Excuse me, since I was practically shot a thousand times trying to save my best friend's love life."

Therese snorted. "So dramatic."

"Am I wrong though?" Louise shot back, pointing a playful finger at me. "Tell me, Rain. How many times have I suffered through your emotional rollercoaster? And for what? Only for you to wake up in her bed again last night?"

I immediately coughed, choking on absolutely nothing. "Louise!"

Therese's eyes widened. "Wait, what?!"

Louise smirked. "Oh, now you want to act surprised?"

Kroft leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand like he was watching a telenovela unfold. "So, Rain, where exactly did you go last night?"

My jaw clenched. I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of watching me squirm. "Nowhere," I answered nonchalantly.

Louise, however, shot me the look. The kind of look that said don't even try to bullshit me.

"Oh really?" she drawled, arms crossed. "Because I'm pretty sure I saw someone waltzing into rehearsals this morning looking like she got hit by a hurricane—and let's not forget the fact that you were wearing Khai's pajamas."

Therese gasped. "Oh my god!"

Kroft whistled low. "That's a plot twist."

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Can we not do this right now?"

Louise ignored me, her smirk widening. "I knew something was up the moment you got all jittery at rehearsals."

Therese leaned in, her curiosity piqued. "Wait, wait, so what did happen last night?"

I exhaled sharply, staring at them all. "Nothing. I had too much to drink, and I—"

"—somehow ended up in your ex's penthouse?" Kroft finished for me.

I shot him a glare. "Do you want to get kicked under the table?"

He laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender.

Louise, still grinning, leaned back. "Alright, alright. No more prying. For now." She tapped her fingers against the table. "But I am gonna say this—if there's even the tiniest bit of doubt in your heart about your engagement, you better figure it out before you walk down that aisle."

The table fell silent for a beat.

I swallowed. "I know."

Louise's expression softened, but before she could say anything else, someone cleared their throat behind us.

Khai.

And just like that, the air shifted.