Eren closed his eyes as he felt Mizuki's lips press more firmly on his neck. His fingers tightened against Mizuki's hair and he tried to block out everything and just let himself enjoy the feeling.
But he couldn't.
Even with his eyes shut closed and his mind filled with Mizuki there was panic growing in him. His chest tightened when he realized what he was doing and his hand loosened around Mizuki's neck and he slowly pushed him away.
"What's wrong?" Mizuki murmured as he raised his hand to cup Eren's cheek, his thumb slowly rubbing over his freckles. "Do you want me to stop?"
No!
Eren wanted to tell him not to stop. He wanted to tell him to keep going until he couldn't remember anything at all.
He looked at Mizuki's face and his heart palpitated at the soft expression he was holding. His eyes were so so gentle and Eren knew in his heart that Mizuki would never hurt him. Eren wanted to grab him and pull him back to him where he wished he could stay forever but it wasn't possible.
Because when he thought of doing those things with Mizuki he thought of the consequences. He thought of Elias and the fate he suffered and what he had done with his own hands.
And the panic came back in full force.
"P-please stop." Eren whispered as his eyes fell shut and Mizuki let his hand fall from his cheek as he pulled himself away.
"I'm sorry Eren. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Mizuki apologized and Eren felt even more guilty.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable. I just-I just feel really tired." Eren lied, opening his eyes to turn to look at Mizuki who had lied down next to him, leaving a good amount of space in between them.
"Do you want to sleep then?" Mizuki asked and Eren slowly nodded.
Mizuki turned to his side and spread out one of his arms. "Come here?"
"Why?"
"Because there's no pillow, remember?" Mizuki said with a small smile and Eren felt his tension slowly melt as a smile of his own grew on his face.
He scooted closer to Mizuki until his head was resting on his bare arm and he hesitantly moved one of his own arms to wrap around Mizuki's back.
"Eren." Mizuki softly whispered and Eren hummed in acknowledgement.
"Will you tell me something? Something about you?" Mizuki asked.
Eren wanted to say no, he didn't want to share anything about himself, he wanted to keep his secrets locked with himself.
But when he looked up at Mizuki's hopeful face he felt himself slowly nod.
"I used to play the violin." Eren said the first thing that came to his mind.
"Really?" Mizuki asked excitedly.
"Yeah, I really loved it." Eren smiled as he remembered the hours he would spend creating different songs with his violin and music sheets.
"Why did you stop?" Mizuki asked.
"My...dad found out. He didn't like it. He said I should focus on training and becoming stronger. He said I shouldn't waste my time on pointless things like music and that it was all stupid and it would never matter." As Eren talked Mizuki started to frown at the pain in his voice.
"You know that's not true right, sweetheart?" Mizuki asked as he used his free hand to run it through Eren's brown locks.
"I think music is a very beautiful thing. My sister plays the saxophone and I find it enchanting. I'm sure you were very talented and it does matter. Anything and everything you like matters Eren." Mizuki told him.
"You have a sister?" Eren asked and Mizuki smiled at the thought of Rin.
"Yes I do. She's the strongest person I know." Mizuki said and he felt himself become sad because with the thought of Rin came the thought of Roy.
"Eren." Mizuki suddenly exclaimed. "Do you-do you know who attacked our border?"
"W-what?" Eren asked with wide eyes.
"The attack on our border that killed our guards." Mizuki asked and then he pulled away from Eren.
What if he was part of them? What if he killed the guards? What if I've been falling for the killer of my sister's lover?
"I wasn't there." Eren said as he sat up and Mizuki felt relief slam into him.
"I swear I wasn't Mizuki." Eren repeated as he grabbed Mizuki's hands.
"I even told them not to do it." Eren muttered as memories flashed in his mind.
"But no one ever listens to me."
"Do you know who then?" Mizuki asked and Eren nodded.
"It was the king. He ordered a group of soldiers to go and the leader of the group was Aslan." Eren said as he felt anger fill him when he remembered when he pleaded them not to do it.
"Aslan? The prince?" Mizuki asked and Eren nodded.
"Eren, what are you?" Mizuki asked as they lied back down in their previous position.
"What do you mean?" Eren asked.
"Like- are you a prince? Or part of a second family? Or are you directly tied to the king?" Mizuki asked and Eren gulped.
"I don't-I don't want to talk about this anymore." Eren said and when Mizuki opened his mouth Eren turned around to face the wall and closed his eyes.
"Goodnight Mizuki."
-
The next morning Mizuki was sure that nature was on his side.
Because it was pouring outside.
That meant that they had to stay inside until the rain goes away. Which means more time with Eren.
When Mizuki woke up with Eren wrapped around him he wanted to stay there forever. Just him and Eren in this empty house.
He thought of the conversation they had last night and his brain wracked with why Eren got so defensive.
Mizuki concluded that it was because Eren didn't trust him, it was the most sensible answer.
He couldn't deny that he felt a bit hurt but he had to remember their situation and he couldn't blame Eren.
Currently Eren was snooping around the house and Mizuki was standing on the porch to bring Niko to safety from the heavy rain.
Mizuki leaned his head back as he closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the heavy rain hitting the ground and he had never felt more peaceful.
The wind was strong and he breathed in, absorbing the smell of rain and wet ground.
He could just stay here for eternity with nothing to disturb-
"Mizuki!"
Mizuki snapped out of it when he heard Eren scream his name in shock and he ran back inside to see Eren running to him.
"Oh my god Mizuki." Eren said with wide eyes.
"What is it??" Mizuki asked as he grasped Eren's shoulders and ran his eyes over his frame to make sure he wasn't hurt.
"Look-look at what I found." Eren said as he pushed a paper in his hand.
Mizuki frowned with confusion as he grabbed the paper and when his eyes ran over the words written on it his eyes widened in complete and utter shock as the colour drained from his face.
What the fuck?
Hello!
Thoughts?
Next chapter will be very juicy sjjs.
-till next time <3