Chapter 16

The days that follow are a bittersweet haze for me.

There has been no sign of Colby anywhere. Eric’s friends in the Dallas PD haven’t been able to find him, though they did put a BOLO out for him after he appeared on camera footage connected to the diner fire.

He is considered a prime suspect, but since he doesn’t have a record and without enough evidence, there’s not much they can do about yet. Especially since his mother, the wretched Harriet Nash, has already unleashed her lawyers with a bunch of ridiculous injunctions.

Once the guys make sure that it’s safe and that Colby didn’t follow any of them in and out of the city, they bring my children back to me from their friend’s vacation home. I’m pleased to see my babies looking well-rested and happy with a healthy suntan and beautiful pink cheeks—those few days in the countryside worked wonders.

“Why can’t we go to Gammy Marie’s?” Luna asks me one morning .

We’re in the backyard, soaking in some of the early, bountiful sun. I’m settled on the chaise lounge with a coffee and a book, while Luna and Sammy play in the kiddie pool that Wyatt bought for them. There is nothing I love more than watching my babies laugh and play without a care in the world.

I want to shield them from my life’s nightmare as best I can, and not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for having met the Danson brothers. They’ve been working so hard to keep the three of us safe and smiling all the time.

“You’ll go back to daycare soon enough, honey. Mama just needs to work a few things out first,” I say to my daughter.

She gives me a curious look, though it’s hard to take her seriously in that bright, dotted orange bathing suit she’s wearing and even harder when she puts on water goggles like she’s Jaques Cousteau, dunking her head in the kiddie pool. Sammy watches her with sheer fascination but he doesn’t move a muscle. He’s trying to figure out how long she can hold her breath. They both took swimming lessons as soon as they learned to walk. If there’s one thing I’m not worried about, it’s their ability to keep their heads above the water. Sammy, in fact, is a surprisingly good swimmer for his age.

“It’s going to be okay,” I try to reassure Luna when she sits back up. “It’s just some work stuff. We can do fun things around here instead.”

“Like this?” Luna asks, motioning around her.

“Yes, and more,” I reply.

“Can we bake cookies?” Sammy asks.

All I can do is smile and nod. It’s one of our favorite activities, hanging out in the kitchen and doing our best not to burn whatever we manage to put into the oven. “Absolutely. We’ve got everything we need to bake some later today,” I say.

That’s enough to keep them both at ease for a while.

Thankfully, Chief Holt has granted me a brief leave of absence despite only recently being hired. I don’t like staying at home all day, though. It reminds me of my past, of a time when Colby kept me as his pretty, useless housewife. But I can’t go out and about, not until they get a line on Colby’s whereabouts. So for now, I’m stuck.

“Mama?” Luna asks, bringing me back into the present.

“Yes, honey?”

“Where’s Daddy?”

The words hit me like a brick, making my stomach sink. “It’s been a while since you asked about him,” I gently reply. “What’s this about? Do you miss him?”

She takes a moment to think about it, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Scared? Concerned? Saddened? I’d give anything to completely remove Colby from her and Sammy’s memories altogether. I’d rather they only knew of me, their single mother, and not the monster who is their father.

“I don’t know,” Luna admits, and the sadness in her voice breaks my heart.

I get up from my seat and step back into the sun. I sit in the grass next to the kiddie pool so I can be closer to Luna and Sammy, giving them both a warm, loving look.

“It’s okay if you miss him, and it’s okay if you don’t,” I tell them both. Colby never spent much time with them, anyway.

Luna and Sammy were always attached to me, barely noticing if their father was around. Whenever Colby threw one of his tantrums, in fact, they’d often hide in my room, eager to get as far away from him as possible. “But I don’t know where your Daddy is. Do you want to see him again?”

It’s a risky question to ask, I know. But they’re his children too, and legally speaking, I can’t keep them away from him forever, not unless we can prove he started the diner fire beyond a shadow of a doubt. He’ll lose all rights then.

“Not really,” Luna says, then looks at her brother.

Sammy shakes his head slowly.

“Is that bad?” Luna asks.

“Oh, no, honey, it’s not a bad thing at all.”

Sammy seems happy with his conclusion, so he proceeds to play with some of his pool toys while Luna gives me another one of her signature questioning looks. “Mama, do you miss Daddy?” she asks.

What do I say to that? She was honest with her answer, even if it felt weird for her. My daughter deserves the same from me, so I need to set a good precedent here. “Luna, I’ll be honest—no, I don’t. I mean, I miss the Daddy I knew when we were young, long before you were born. That version of Daddy was nice and sweet but it wasn’t the real him.”

“How come?” she asks, somewhat confused.

“People can pretend, hide their true selves. We talked about that, remember?”

“Yeah.

”

“Well, your dad was a great pretender.”

“But why?” she asks.

I shrug slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe he was afraid that I wouldn’t like the real him.” I didn’t. I still don’t. The real Colby Nash is a heartless bastard who abused me then later tried to burn the diner down with us in it. I can’t tell my kids that though. It would forever scar their innocent souls, and they bear no fault in any of this. “But I don’t miss him. I’m happy just being here with the two of you,” I pause, then go for the next big question that I’ve been meaning to ask. “Do you guys like being here? With Eric, Chase, and Wyatt?”

My kids nod with genuine excitement. “Yes!” they both exclaim.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“What do you like about Chase?” I ask Sammy.

“He’s big and strong,” my little boy says. “And brave. Did you see his fire axe, Mama?”

“I did, yeah,” I chuckle softly.

The guys took the kids out on a tour of the firehouse during our first week here. I remember they were so elated and starry-eyed when they climbed out of the fire truck and got their own kiddie fireman helmets to keep. They still have those upstairs in their room.

“And you, honey?” I ask Luna. “Why do you like Wyatt?”

“He’s funny,” she replies without skipping a beat.

“It seems we like them for the same reasons. And what about Eric?

”

Luna lets a heavy sigh roll from her chest. “Mama, can you marry Eric?”

“Whoa,” I blurt out, laughing nervously. My ears burn. And so do my cheeks. “Honey, why do you ask?”

“You like him, I can tell,” she says with a giggle. “It’s okay.”

Good grief, my five-year-old daughter is trying to reassure me. I could cry right now. I could collapse into a puddle of mush from so much cute innocence. “Oh, honey, it means the world to me that you feel that way,” I say, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know what’s going to happen though. Not yet. We’re just getting to know one another.”

Chase’s voice travels across the backyard. “Look at you, soaking up the sun like three happy lizards.”

“Chase!” Sammy exclaims and instantly jumps out of the kiddie pool.

I laugh as I watch my baby sprint across the lawn to greet Chase, who’s coming down the back porch steps with two large bags in each hand. He looks so handsome, his muscles and tattoos on proud display on account of the tank covering his torso. He’s got his sunshades on and a smile on his face. A rare sight these days, but a pleasant one, nonetheless.

“What are you doing home so early?” I ask, getting up as he comes over.

Luna takes her sweet time, taking her goggles off before stepping out of the pool and turning around to face him. Sammy is already by his side, keeping up while also trying to peek into one of the bags.

“I stopped by a couple of stores on my way,” Chase says. “In fact, I should have been here earlier. Eric and Wyatt are handling most of our errands today so I can spend some time with you and the kids.”

“Are you guys taking shifts with us?” I ask, only half-amused.

He sets the bags down and leans in to drop a soft kiss on my cheek. It’s enough to get my blood rushing, and I welcome the sea salt top note of his cologne as he measures me from head to toe. “You look delicious in that dress,” he whispers.

“Easy, Mr. Danson,” I whisper back. There are children present.”

“Speaking of,” Chase says, switching back to his cool guy vibe. “Sammy, Luna, I got you some stuff. Feel free to unpack everything and keep what you like. If there’s anything you don’t like, set it aside, and I’ll send it over to Mom’s daycare.”

“Oh, wow, so many toys!” Luna gasps, eyes as wide as saucers as she looks into one of the bags. Sammy is practically speechless, hypnotized by one particular box containing a generous palette of colored playdough.

“So cool!”

“Kids, what do we say to Chase?” I cut in, smiling as I watch my babies straighten their backs and look up at him.

“Thank you, Mr. Chase!” they reply in the sweetest unison.

“You’re welcome,” Chase replies. “Dig in.”

We leave them to their toys and move over to the chaise lounge, then sit down under the umbrella shade. “You shouldn’t have,” I say, nodding back at the kids. Sammy is already going to town on the playdough, while Luna carefully analyzes each box, trying to decide what she is going to open first. “They’re gonna be spoiled rotten.

”

Chase gives me a wry smile. “Halle, these kids need all the love and toys in the world after what they’ve been through.”

He’s not wrong.

I cannot change the past, but I can certainly enjoy this present moment and the idea of a potential future with these men.