Chapter Single Mom’s Firemen: Epilogue II

John Anthony is growing up so fast. It feels like yesterday that he came into this world, a couple of weeks earlier than expected. He’s got an awesome pair of siblings by his side, though. Luna is a doting, loving older sister, while Sammy keeps counting the days until Johnny is old enough to play with him. Until then, the little man watches over the littler man while he naps, making sure he’s around if the baby needs anything.

“Already a year-and-a-half old,” Wyatt says, standing tall and proud behind the backyard grill. Smoke rises from the burger patties in front of him, and he makes sure to turn them several times over the bright orange flames before he sets them on a plate for Chase to prepare. “Before you know it, we’re gonna have to chase the girls away from them with a stick, ‘cause they’re already handsome as hell.”

“I’m more worried about Luna,” Eric chimes in as he comes out into the garden with a giant bowl of fresh fruit for our summer dessert salad. “She already has suitors in kindergarten, if y’all remember Cody and Joey’s Valentine’s Day cards.”

I laugh, watching my kids play in the kiddie pool, while baby Johnny sleeps soundly in the shade of an ancestral sycamore tree. The garden has grown tremendously over the past year, courtesy of Wyatt’s love of landscaping. It was already beautiful, but it is now aiming to become a glorious reproduction of Eden itself. Wyatt has proven himself as an excellent landscape architect. No wonder he’s fully booked for the next six months.

I’m so proud of him.

“Luna will be fine,” Chase says. He’s busy prepping the cooked burger patties, carefully adding sauces, pickles, and a variety of sliced cheeses on top before he places them on the bun and sets them on a larger, separate plate. “She’s been getting better and better in jiu jitsu.”

“My God, she’s supposed to firmly turn her suitors down if she doesn’t want to spend time with them, not beat them into a pulp,” Wyatt laughs.

I shrug as I set the lemonade pitcher at the center of our outdoor table, then add paperweights on top of the paper napkin stacks before the breeze blows them away. It’s a gorgeous, early summer day. The sun is out, but we’re not in the scorching half of the season just yet. We can still enjoy a full Sunday out in the garden, SPF on and plenty of charcoal for the grill. It has become a tradition of ours, in fact.

“I’m happy that Luna knows how to defend herself,” I chime in with a satisfied grin. “The boys will know to keep their distance if they’re not up for the task.

”

“It’ll take longer for a guy to sweep her off her feet later down the road,” Chase chuckles with cool satisfaction. “It’s how you weed out the weaklings.”

“The weaklings! Listen to him!” Eric laughs.

“It’s like an episode of Survivor or something,” Wyatt adds, equally amused.

“He does have a point,” I giggle. “Isn’t that right, Luna?”

She gives me a curious look as she gets out of the kiddie pool. “Huh?”

“You do like your jiu jitsu classes with Uncle Chase, don’t you?” I ask, smiling softly as I take my seat at the table. The food smells fantastic, and I am ready to scarf down a couple of those burgers that Chase prepared.

“I love jiu jitsu!” Luna says.

“I don’t love jiu jitsu,” Sammy grumbles with a slight, yet adorable pout. “I don’t love that Luna loves jiu jitsu.”

“Why not, honey?” I ask him.

“Because she—”

“Because I said I’d kick his ass if he hides my dolls again,” Luna cuts in.

“Language, young lady,” I try not to laugh too hard as I look at her, then at Chase. “You need to fix your profanity filter, babe. She and Sammy are like sponges at this age.”

Chase bows apologetically, then gives Luna a sour look. “What did I tell you about curse words, missy?”

“That I’m too young to use them,” Luna replies with a bashful shrug. “I’m sorry.

”

As the day progresses, I take Luna and Sammy upstairs for some quiet time, then nurse Johnny before he falls asleep in his crib for a late afternoon nap. It’s nice and quiet. Peaceful and sunny. Every day is like a gift from the heavens themselves.

“You look fantastic,” Eric says as we lounge on the pool’s edge, basking in the golden sunlight. “This tan suits you. Makes you all the more scrumptious, in my opinion, Mrs. Danson.”

“Why, thank you, Mr. Danson. You’re not too bad yourself.”

Wyatt and Chase join us on the chaise lounges, eager to just relax for a while. I like the four of us doing nothing like this. But I’ve been feeling a tad more self-conscious lately. They’re just as handsome and ridiculously ripped as always. The twins have been poking fun at Wyatt, saying he’d get all husky if he quit the firehouse, but he has kept himself at the highest fitness standard, the landscaping work only contributing to his rippling pecs and ab muscles, glistening in a deep shade of caramel under the sun’s kiss.

Meanwhile, I’ve been battling an uptick on the scale and an increased appetite. This cherry-red bathing suit of mine feels a tad tighter than the last time I wore it. I guess it’s time to address the issue. Staring at the engagement ring and wedding band on my finger, I can’t help but smile. We’re growing.

“I kind of miss the honeymoon,” I say after a while. “Hawaii was so nice.”

We got married a couple of months after Johnny was born. It was a small and private ceremony, with only our closest friends and family. I tried reaching out to my mother for the occasion, but I couldn’t find her anywhere, and she didn’t return any of my calls. I wasn’t sad about it though I wanted her there, if only for her to see that everything had turned out alright. That I didn’t need the Nash money to be safe and provided for.

“We could go again for Christmas,” Eric suggests.

“Nah, let’s do Colorado. Snow, skiing, and stuff,” Chase says, his eyes closed as he soaks in all the sunlight with a lazy smile stretching across his lips.

“And stuff?” I ask.

“Mulled wine. He really wants the mulled wine in the cold heart of winter experience,” Wyatt explains. “I’m down with Colorado too.”

“Make that three,” I say. “I’d like to see some snow at Christmas for once.”

Eric sighs deeply. “Colorado it is, then. The kids will love it.”

“Harriet reached out,” Wyatt says after a while.

The statement has the twins and me slowly turning our heads to look at him. “Oh?” I ask. “What did she want?”

“She was hoping we might bring the kids over to visit,” Wyatt replies. “She didn’t want to talk to you about it because she knew you’d say no.”

“And she figured you would say yes after she ordered a hit on you and your brothers?” I reply with a dry tone.

He shrugs. “I don’t know but I told her to fuck off.”

“She’ll rot in prison,” I say. “She’ll never see any of us, ever again. Thank you for handling it, Wyatt. I really appreciate it.” I sit up, gathering the nerve to talk to them about our family. “Guys, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“What’s up?” Eric asks.

“You mentioned putting a Danson football team together, at one point,” I respond.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Eric is the first to get up. “Hold that thought.”

Dammit.

Wyatt looks suspicious. “We’re not expecting any company.”

“He’ll turn them away,” Chase says, then gently squeezes my knee. “Are you okay, baby? You look worried.”

“I’m fine. Just a tad anxious,” I nervously chuckle.

Every tinge of humor fades as Eric comes back into the garden, accompanied by my mother. I can feel my eyes growing wide with shock as she cautiously approaches us.

“Shauna,” I whisper, calling her by her name.

She looks a lot better than the last time I saw her. Plump, even, with a healthy glow in her cheeks. She dyed her hair into a platinum shade of blonde, and her outfit looks new—jeans and a baseball-style t-shirt, white with short, red sleeves. “Hey, Halle,” she says, her voice trembling slightly.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, slowly getting up.

“It’s time,” she replies simply, briefly glancing at the guys.

“For what?”

“For me to apologize for everything,” she says. “Including the fact that I missed your wedding and the baby’s birth. I wasn’t there for a lot of things, Halle, and I’d like to explain if you’ll let me.”

Instinctively, I cross my arms. A defensive gesture that always comes up when I’m around her. “I’m listening.”

“I was in rehab,” Shauna says. “After I heard about what happened to you, with Colby and the kids and everything, I almost drank myself to death. The bookies were hounding me. It was my lowest point ever.”

“Rehab was a great choice,” Eric politely replies.

She chuckles dryly. “Yeah, I said the same thing until I woke up the next day, dying for a drink. It was hell on earth but I made it,” she says and shows me a six-month sobriety chip. “I made my peace with a lot of my erroneous choices during my stay at the clinic. I’ve gone through therapy, the twelve steps and whatnot. I’ve been putting my life back together, Halle, brick by brick, for the first time in a very long time.”

“Honestly, I’m glad to hear that,” I say, still cautious and wary.

“I messed up on so many levels with you, honey. Can I ever make it up to you? Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”

The Danson brothers are watching us with renewed interest, jaws dropped and eyes wide as they follow the awkward thread of this conversation.

“You’re only human,” I exhale sharply. “You did the best you could with what you knew.”

“True, but I could have done so much better,” she says, tears pooling in her eyes .

“The past is the past for a reason, Shauna,” I reply. “I don’t think I’m ready to dredge any of it up so you can get some sort of closure. I’m still getting used to a peaceful life. Hell, I’m starting my first fashion boutique job next month uptown. I’m finally close to pursuing the career I’ve always wanted.”

She lights up as she hears the news. “Good for you, honey. I never said it enough, but I am proud of you. I only wish I’d been a better mother. Maybe I would’ve smelled someone like Colby Nash from a mile away.”

“He had everybody fooled,” I say, shaking my head. “I doubt you would’ve been able to do much about him.”

“I’m truly sorry, Halle,” she sighs again.

“It’s fine. It’s over.”

Shauna takes a step closer. “No, it’s not fine. I understand you don’t want to talk about any of it. Not now, not today, maybe not anytime soon, but is there anything, anything at all that I can do to at least start making it up to you? I want to fix things, Halle. I’ve been absent and useless as a mother for far too long.”

Truth be told, I’ve always wanted to hear her say these words, especially while growing up. I never expected Shauna to get to this point, though. I’d given up. In the months after Colby’s death, I kept hoping she’d come around to at least check up on me. At least now I know why she didn’t.

“They had a strict, no cellphone, no outside communication policy at the clinic,” Shauna says, as if reading my mind. “So many times, I thought about reaching out.

”

“You could’ve done that before you went in,” Chase mutters. It gets him some heavy scowls from his brothers, but he doesn’t seem to care. Always so protective of me.

“I was too drunk, day in and day out. Too ashamed. My brain wasn’t working properly,” Shauna says. “I knew I needed to get clean before I could reach out. So, here I am. Reaching out,” she adds, shifting her focus back on me. “I’m not expecting a miracle, Halle. But I hope you’re at least willing to consider giving me another chance. Some place to start, maybe. However, I also understand it’s within your right to turn me away.”

I think about it for a while.

My gaze wanders around. It settles on Eric, and I can see the hope twinkling in his blue eyes. More than once, he suggested that I try to patch things up with my mother, if only for my peace of mind. I never really said no to the idea, but since I couldn’t reach Shauna, I set the whole endeavor aside shortly after the wedding.

Chase, on the other hand, looks apprehensive. He doesn’t trust her, and I can’t blame him. He rarely trusts anybody, especially people who have repeatedly disappointed or hurt me in one way or another. He would never interfere with my decision-making process, though. He’d support me, no matter what.

Wyatt looks like he’s somewhere right in the middle, tiptoeing along the fence. He’s wary of Shauna but he is also curious about what I will say. I know what I want to say but I wonder if I’m able to say it. There are so many emotions swirling through my soul right now. I didn’t expect my Sunday to unravel like this .

“How about we start with a glass of lemonade and a slice of cheesecake?” I ask Shauna, then look at Wyatt. “Do we still have any left from yesterday?”

“Yeah, pretty sure I saved us a few slices,” Wyatt nods slowly.

Shauna gives me a surprised smile. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not. Johnny’s napping, but the kids are upstairs playing. Maybe you’d like to see them again,” I say with a half-smile. “What do you say, Shauna?”

“It would be my pleasure,” she replies, then throws her arms around me and catches me in a tight hug. “Thank you so much.”

It feels good. Somewhat unfamiliar, since Shauna was never one for displays of affection, but good. Really good. It’s as if my whole life is falling back into place one piece at a time, until a blissful balance is restored, and I can only be thankful for this moment.

“Shauna, if you don’t mind me asking,” Eric politely intervenes. “How’d you know where to find us?”

She turns to look at him for a second. “Marie. She’s the one who got in touch with me, actually. I don’t know how she found out where I was—”

“Charlie,” Chase grumbles and rolls his eyes. “Mom can ask the guy for anything and he will bend over backwards if it gets him a slice of her peach cobbler. The sellout.”

Wyatt laughs. “Can you blame him?”

“Hold on,” I cut in. “Marie reached out to you?

”

“Yeah. She wanted me to know where you were, that you were okay, especially after the wedding. I had no idea you’d gotten married,” Shauna says. “I’d already been admitted.”

That makes sense. She didn’t get any of my calls. But Marie thought beyond that. “Marie tracked you down,” I reply.

“She did. And I’m glad she did. I’m proud of you, Halle. This family of yours, it’s unconventional, but looks pretty perfect to me.” She laughs nervously, then adds, “I swear, your secret is safe with me. I support you, no matter what.”

The awkwardness fizzles away as Johnny wakes up and starts crying over the monitor. I head upstairs to grab him, then bring him down and present him to my mother.

“Can I hold him?” Shauna asks, melting before us.

“Sure,” I reply. She is careful and gentle, just like she was when she took care of Luna and Sammy for me. Despite her many flaws and our fractured relationship, my mother isn’t a monster. Her issues were simply too much for her to handle, but I can see the light returning to her eyes. I dare say that I’m actually hopeful for her.

She smiles as she looks down upon him in wonder. “My third grandchild,” she says, her voice full of love.

“There’s soon to be a fourth.” I decide to drop the bomb just as Eric, Chase, and Wyatt relax in Shauna’s presence. Four sets of bulging eyes are stuck on me, and I can barely hold the laughter in. “You should see your faces.”

Shauna gasps.

The guys are speechless.

“Wait, you’re pregnant again?” my mother asks, Johnny curiously reaching out to touch her soft chin .

“Yup.”

Eric’s jaw drops. “Hold up, what?”

“Well, you wanted a junior football team,” I casually reply. “That’s not gonna happen with three kids.”

“Are you serious?” Chase asks.

“Why would I joke about it?”

“You crazy, wonderful woman,” Wyatt explodes and takes me in his arms. I laugh as Chase and Eric join in, wrapping me tightly between them and showering me with sweet, loving kisses.

I had hoped for a smoother reveal, but I couldn’t keep it to myself a second longer. Having my mother present felt like an unexpected bonus. Life is anything but fair. Relationships are rarely smooth. People are far from perfect. But we do what we can with what we are given. And those of us who strive for growth, who choose to be kind and patient while working our way through each day are the ones who ultimately get the peace we so deeply crave.

My life has been imperfect and rocky thus far. But it has also been wonderful, full of light and hope. In the arms of my men, basking in the Danson love, it has been something close to perfect. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

It’s going to get even crazier. But…

I’ve got Eric.

I’ve got Chase.

I’ve got Wyatt.

I’ve got my kids .

A bright future rising ahead.

It’s all I need and it’s more than I ever dreamed.

It’s my kind of perfect.