Chapter Twenty-Three
Emberly's POV:
The faint sound of the alarm buzzed in my ears. Groaning, I folded the pillow in half and pressed it tightly against my ears. Why have I even got alarm on this time? Even after trying, I couldn't open my eyes. Thankfully, the annoying sound went off. My eyelids felt to heavy to open them. My body felt like it was on fire. Needless to say, I was squirming every five second. I felt someone nudging my arm and lifting me up in a sitting position. I opened my mouth to protest when a tablet was placed in my tongue, followed by, what I assume, the tip of the glass. I swallowed the tablet with water. I lied down again and felt drowsy. Before I could ask anything, my mind blacked out again and I fell unconscious.
After some time, I woke up to sound of alarm again. This time I managed to open my heavy eyelids. I knew just by looking at the ceiling that I was not in my room. There's no way in earth I could afford something so fancy like that. The room was dimly lighted and cold. I pressed the blankets closer to my body. I looked around slowly as I started to recognise the room. My heart was about to go wild but I somehow managed not to hyperventilate. What really got my attention was the sleeping figure next to me. Not even looking at his face, I knew who it was.
Not again, not again, not again. My heart was thumping loudly by now, so loud that I thought he could hear it. Maybe, if I close my eyes he would disappear. I shut my eyes tightly. After calming my heart I opened them slowly.
Shit. He was still there.
My eyes widened when I heard him groan. I tried to recollect what really happened. All I could remember was arguing with Arran and the next minute my head was spinning. Faith is so cruel to me. Just when I made my mind to stay away from him I was in his bedroom wearing nothing but an oversize shirt.
Wait... What...?
I look down at myself only to be shocked more. I was in a large white shirt and the worst part is I don't remember taking my clothes off. I took a peek under the blanket, moreover his side and sighed in relief. He had his sweatpants on. Never thought I would be so happy seeing a hot guy still in his clothes.
He looked so peaceful sleeping. God, this guy made snoring sound sexy. His cheeks were rosy and his lower lip was slightly jutting out giving me a total adoring pout. I frowned, not liking the way I was admiring how handsome he really is. Girls who had him and who will have him are damn lucky. My hand moved to brush his hair from his forehead but I caught myself before I touched him.
The sound of alarm broke my trail of thoughts. He groaned again. Carefully, I sat on my knees and leaned over his side. Making sure not to touch him. I reached for my alarm and shut it. I took a glance at the floor and my eyes nearly popped out. The floor was filled with empty tablets packets and god knows how many empty water bottles.
The alarm that was buzzing was to remind him to give me medicine on time. I blinked back. I've never seen his room this disorganised and I was touched by his gesture. It was incredibly sweet of him to look after me and I was thankful for that. Even though he was ill too.
I tried to move back but my foot got tangled with the blanket causing me to crash on his chest. I saved myself from crushing his chest bones with my hands. He groaned but wrapped his arms around my hips so that I was lying on top of him. I felt that my heart slowing for a second and when it started beating, it was racing. Involuntarily, my nose nuzzled his neck causing him to secure his grip around my hips.
"I can get used to this." He said huskily in my ear causing me to shiver,
I moved my head back a little, only to find him staring at me intensely. His eyes were clouded. I got up hastily and luckily he allowed me to. He sat up and leaned against the headboard. Shit what do I do now? This is so awkward. Why isn't he saying anything?
He started coughing, breaking the silence. I touched his warm cheek to see if he still had temperature. He still had fever but not high enough to have me worried. I looked around the table for medicines and smiled inwardly when I saw that they were in order. I took two out and placed it on his lips, which he swallowed as I placed the rim of the glass on his lips and he took few sips.
"Thank you." He muttered.
"No... thank you." I said softly and I bit on my lip. "What am I doing here?" I questioned him.
He took a deep breath and stretched his arms. I stole a glance at his toned body but immediately looked away when he caught me staring. He chuckled softly and I felt myself warming up.
"You fainted so I brought you here." He simply shrugged.
I felt his eyes on my legs and my eyes widened in realisation. I was only wearing his shirt, which barely covered my ass. I cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked at me and I arched my eyebrows. Instead of looking away he shamelessly grinned. The buttons were done properly which made me think...
"And I am in your shirt because?" I asked, my voice trembling a little.
"Oh, I changed your clothes..." He smirked at his own private joke.
How dare he?
Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed a pillow and whacked it on his head. I guess he wasn't expecting it so his head lolled back and I whacked the pillow again and again. How dare he? I kept hitting him. This is so embarrassing. My boss saw me naked. Ugh, why god why? Why it has to be me all the time? He griped the pillow away from my reach and held my hands with his.
"With the help of Martha. In fact, I turned around." He said, glaring at me.
Oh, just kill me now.
He sat on his knees, with my hands still locked in his and he brought my face closer to his. He smirked when I shivered. Arran's scent surrounded me making me more anxious. He pushed me down on my back and hovered over me in one swift motion. I let out a squeal. His green eyes had turned dark and were full of lust. His one arm was on my side, supporting his weight and the other one was on my waist, keeping me still.
We were silent for a while. I could hear my heart ringing in my ears. All he was doing was gazing down at my face intently, while I had my eyes fixed on the logo of his t-shirt. I closed my eyes when I felt his warm breath on my neck. I waited for his touch but it never came. Instead I felt his hand, which was on my waist, roamed down on my leg. My breath hitched when I felt his hand go up my knee to my thigh in a slow motion.
This isn't right... this isn't right.
My mind was telling me to stop, tell him to back off but my body had mind of its own. My body was asking for more. I was breathing heavily and I knew just by his touch that wherever he was touching, it was leaving a small burning fire of desire inside me. He stopped briefly to look in my eyes. I'm sure even my eyes were clouded in lust and need. He rubbed his light stubble against my cheek. It was rough yet I enjoyed it. I closed my eyes not sure what I wanted to do next.
"Arran." I managed to whisper.
"Hmmm." He breathed out as his hand travelled further up my thigh and his nose was softly touching my nose.
"I need to pee." I blurted out and he looked surprised.
Shit.
His hand stopped moving and he studied me for a minute. His eyebrows were knitted together in confusion. I bit my lip and kept a straight face. He sighed and got off me. I took the moment to run as fast as I could. I shut the bathroom's door. My heart was still racing from what happened. I rested my hot cheek against the cold wall feeling incredibly stupid.
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it.
What the hell was I thinking? Oh god I am so stupid. Why is it always me ending up in situation like this? I can't forget what he did to me. Not after that night. I was meant to stay away from him, then why did I end up under him? I calmed my breathing and gripped the sink tightly. I looked up at myself in the reflection and nearly gasped. My hair was all over the place and my skin was almost pale, more greyish. I had a slight red nose. I quickly splashed water on my face.
I ran my hands in my hair, trying to soothe it when I saw something that nearly gave me a heart attack. I screamed as loudly as I could. All blood draining from my face. Arran came in running and gripped me by my arms but I kept screaming. He looked around for any intruder. He placed his hand on my mouth to silence me.
"What the hell Emberly?" He asked warily.
I muffled in his hand. He narrowed his eyes at me and I removed his hand on my mouth.
"Oh my god. It's huge." My voice was barely audible.
"What...? You haven't even seen it yet." He smirked and faked a gasp.
I narrowed my eyes at him before screaming again. He covered his ears.
"That thing." I pointed at the thing behind him.
He scrunched his eyebrows together and turned around. There it was, sitting on the wall. My biggest nightmare ever. No not a spider but worse. A tarantula. I felt the hair on my neck rising. However, Arran looked happy to find that monster.
"Oh you've found Spidey. We were looking for him for quite a long time now." He smiled and my eyes nearly popped out.
"We?" I exclaimed.
"My niece and I." He said in a tone, as if I was stupid.
"Who in their right mind keeps a tarantula?" I wailed, flinching back from that thing.
Don't get me wrong but I am really scared of tarantula. Just like Ron Weasley was scared of spiders because of a stupid prank, so was I. Brad, the captain of the football team thought it would be funny placing a tarantula in my bag. I was changing when I saw it on my neck and the rest is history.
"We do." He simply shrugged his shoulders.
"She is supposed to play with Barbie and all that shit, not with big, hairy tarantula." I screamed, covering my fear.
I saw Arran looking slightly amused. "Well I guess she is different."
I shut my mouth deciding not to answer back. I'll end up offended him so its better not to say anything. He went over the corner and picked it up. I forgot how to breathe when he held it in his hand. I slowly crawled up to the a little space next to the sink.
"Kill it." I told him.
"What? I'm not killing 'it' Emberly. Just get down." He came close and I held my breath. I didn't realise I was sitting on the space next to the sink till he pointed.
"Don't...Just... Move it please." I pleaded softly.
"It wont hurt you." He tried to come near me and I let out a scream again.
He stopped midway and smirked. I am glad someone is finding this amusing.
"You are weird." I said in a low voice.
"And it's coming from you? I'll put it back to where it belongs. Just get down." He rolled his eyes and told me.
"You go first." I told him, not trusting him at all and he sighed again.
He went out and after a while he came in with a box in his hand. He slowly placed the hairy thing in the box and closed it. I still don't know why he didn't kill it.
"Okay, here. Now get down." He said, with box in one hand and the other hand reached out for me.
"Did you close it?" I eyed him doubtfully.
He smirked making me more suspicious.
"Yes."
"Locked it?"
"Yes. Now get down." He told me but the smile never leaving his lips.
"Why are you smiling?" I blurted and his smile grew wider.
"Nothing, don't want to spoil your innocent mind." He patted my head, ignoring my deathly glare.
I gestured him to leave.
"Oh, by the way you look sexy in my shirt and red is definitely one of my favourite colour." He said and walked out.
I stood there, confused at his words. I looked down at myself and realised the shirt was rolled up and you could see my red undies. I couldn't help but laugh. Only trust Arran to notice that. Suddenly I was feeling relaxed. Maybe, I don't need to think so deep. Or maybe the fact that he looked after me created more room in my heart for him. I should give him some time. I feel happy around him and isn't everyone entitled to stay happy? I opened the bathroom door to leave when I heard his voice.
"Yeah princes... yeah I remember... yeah I know... what...? No... I can't love anyone else... you know that... okay... bye... love you too."
It wasn't what he said that created unsettling feeling inside me but it was the tone he was using that made me feel like someone just crushed me. He was speaking with such an adoration and love that made my smile vanish within a second.
I tried to tell myself that maybe he is talking with his mother or sister or even his best friend. But I knew this wasn't the case. I might not have a lot of experience but I do know when a guy calls someone 'princess', that girl means the world to him. All of a sudden, I felt angry and jealous. Angry because he had someone he loves yet he was making a move on me and jealous because I was falling for him and he didn't care and more angry because I had no right to feel this way. He already got someone in his life and all I'm ever going to be is a second option. Suddenly it all hit me like a tornado. The night he kissed me and then he walked away like I meant nothing. Also, when he asked me to send a message to the girl he slept with whilst I was wasting my tears on him. I didn't want to be here anymore. It all made sense why I should stay away from him.
I rushed out of the bathroom and looked around for my clothes around his room.
"What are you doing?" He questioned me, confusingly.
"I want to go." I told him sternly, looking for my shoes.
"Why?" He asked me, clearly surprised at the sudden change.
"I can't stay here forever can I?" I said bitterly and I saw his face turning grim.
"Let me drop you." He said sternly and I knew the bossy Arran I knew was back.
"No, I'll manage myself. I need my clothes." I told him and looked around the room so I don't have to look at his face.
"You are in no condition to go." He said softly and I instantly felt bad.
Now I felt guiltier. It's true though; I had no clothes, no car, and no money. I don't know where my clothes are or where my purse is. All he did was look after me when I couldn't, and here I am, snapping at him. I had no right to be jealous.
Angry? Yes but jealous? No.
He is probably wondering what went wrong. However, I couldn't help but to think about all the questions that were on my mind and most importantly, the promise I made to myself, to stay as far as I could.
"Arran, please, I want to leave." I said once again and avoided looking at him. Suddenly, he was in front of me with rage clouding his eyes.
"What is your problem? Why do you have to be a bitch all the time?" He asked me harshly and I almost flinched.
I was acting like a bitch? All I am trying to do is stay away from him because I don't know what I'll end up doing if I stay here one more minute with him. If his words hurt me, I showed no sign of it. Why is it so hard for him to be at least civilised? Hearing him calling me a bitch really wounded me.
"Because you are insufferable." I yelled back but my voice cracked at the end.
He didn't say anything. I turned around so he wouldn't witness the tears forming in my eyes.
"I'm sorry." I heard him say softly.
"No you are not." I scoffed.
"I am." He repeated his words.
"No Arran, you think you are but truly you are not." I turned around and told him.
"You will never understand." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
And here we go again. He says that every single time we argue. I was tired by now.
"You know what? You are right. I thought I could but now I don't want to. But can I say something?" I admitted truthfully and asked him.
I won't let him know how much his words hurt me. How I feel when I am around him. How much it breaks my heart when I take two steps forwards to know him and he takes two steps back. I know there is no 'us' no matter what. We are just meant to have a business relation only. My feelings are too strong and I will end up getting hurt and I don't want to.
'I can't love anyone else...'
But I know I really care for him and I really want to help him. He deserves to be happy; he deserves to be in love, to have someone who loves him. That's the thing though, he might be in love that I am not aware of. What is the reason holding him back? And if he loves someone, he needs to man up and tell me. He shouldn't be doing what he did a while ago. He shouldn't be kissing me like that and not expect anything from me. My feelings for him maybe stupid but I am not stupid to be walked over again and again.
"What?" He asked me warily.
"Just let it go. Whatever it is. Just let it go." I sighed helplessly.
"You really think it's that fucking easy?" He said it so bitterly that it stilled my movement.
"No, but it's not impossible." I said in a small voice.
"You don't know what you've got till its gone." He taunted but a pained look placed on his face.
"No Arran, you knew exactly what you had; you just thought you'd never lose it." I told him softly with my heart constricting in pain.
I knew my words hit him like tons of brick because he stood still. His eyes were wide in shock. He let go of his clenched fists. I wanted to turn around and confront him. I wanted to tell him to let it go. I don't know what happened, but I do know whatever happened in the past, still has an impact on him. It's not fair on him and people who love him. I guess no one ever told him that it's him who is wasting his life over something, which I'm sure is not even worth it. I sighed and walked away.
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