Major Whitlock

○●○ Major Whitlock ○●○

I stared at Jasper taking in his every movement, trying to figure out just how bad his past truly was. He kept taking deep breaths, like recalling his past was painful. I hadn't noticed when I was with Edward just how handsome Jasper was. Even as he sat there stiff as a board he looked gorgeous. Unlike Edward's impossibly beautiful boyish appearance, Jasper beauty was intense and almost intimidating. If Edward was Adonis then Jasper was Ares.

"You see... I was the youngest Major in the Texas calvary, Major Whitlock. I had signed up for the Confederacy to make my family proud. I wanted the glory that came with being a war hero. I should have just stayed home. I was young, and prideful... stubborn." He sighed, and looked down at his hands that were resting on the counter. "You have no idea how badly I wish that I hadn't signed those damn papers. I didn't even understand what the war was about, all I could think about was the glory that came with it." Jasper whispered shaking his head slightly.

"If you hadn't gone to war then you wouldn't have gotten here, you wouldn't have met Alice." I said in confusion.

"Alice saved me, and I'll be eternally grateful for her. Although, if I had never gone off young and stupid to join the army I wouldn't have needed saving." Jasper said, glancing out the window. I was confused that Jasper had said that he'd rather have lead a normal life than be with Alice. It went against everything I had been told about him. I thought they were soulmates, and I thought that he'd have been grateful for anything that had lead him to her. Key word being 'thought' I guess.

"Anyway, I was riding back to Galveston after evacuating its women and children. That's when I met Maria. She was creating what's called a newborn army. You see Bella, newly changed vampires are stronger than seasoned vampires because they still have human blood in their tissues, but they are uncontrollable and insane with bloodlust. In the south everyone was fighting for territory, and they all used newborn armies to take control over the land." Jasper said, turning his ochre colored eyes to mine.

"Maria wanted to create an army?" I asked, clarifying the obvious.

"Yes, and I was her second in command. My gift was very useful in controlling the newborns. That's where I learned how effective fear was in controlling others. We were the strongest army in the south, no one could shine a light to our power."

"Because of you." I stated. I hadn't noticed just how incredible Jasper's gift was until now. If it could control crazed newborn vampires then it must be strong.

"More or less." He said, a small smug grin flashed across his lips for a slim moment. His expression went back to being emotionless before he continued his story, "I trained the vampires, lead them into battles, and when they surpassed their useful months I disposed of them- you should eat your soup, Bella. It's getting cold." Jasper suggested suddenly, eyeing the barely touched chicken soup. I took a quick sip of it, wanting him to continue. He smiled slightly and started talking again. "The life I lived took it's toll on me. I could feel all of my victims fear, anger, pain, hatred. It was no way to live. I was looking for a way out."

"Alice?" I asked.

"Not yet. I had befriended one of the newborns, Peter, and convinced Maria to let him live. We had a camaraderie, he was like my brother. There was another newborn at one point, that Peter had fallen for. I was supposed to dispose of her, but I let them leave. Things only got worse from there. Maria had lost her faith in my loyalty, and that made my life difficult and very painful." He sighed. He stopped talking and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Nothing looked off at first, but then I noticed all the scars that covered Jasper's skin. There must have been hundreds just on his one arm. Then I noticed the shape of the scars.

"They're like mine." I whispered, and reached out to touch his marble skin.

"They are bites, like yours. A lot of them from battle, and a lot of them are from when Maria decided she wanted to show her displeasure with me." He stated, sounding sad.

"I'm sorry Jasper." I whispered. I had a sudden urge to hug him, but I knew that I would just make him uncomfortable with my blood. Instead I set my hand on his arm, and tried to aim my sympathetic emotions towards him - however, I wasn't completely sure how to do that. He smiled a small sad smile, and continued his story.

"I was lost. I could feel Maria's emotions and knew that I had to leave or kill her soon, or she would kill me first." There was a long pause, like Jasper was thinking about what to say next. "I was afraid. Maria's coven was the only life I'd ever known. I didn't know what to expect- uh, Bella you're late for school again." Jasper said while looking at the clock.

I glanced at the time. I was nearly fifteen minutes late already, but I wasn't leaving until Jasper had finished his story. "It's fine, keep talking please." I requested. He chuckled and rolled his eyes slightly.

"I'm gonna get fired." He mumbled before continuing. "Anyway, Peter and his mate Charlotte came to find me one night. They explained that in the North vampires didn't fight like they did in the South. It was generally peaceful. I left with them that night."

"That's when you met Alice?" I queried.

"That's when I met Alice." He repeated, his grin returning.

"At first it was better. I felt good just getting away from Maria, but I still had to feel the emotions of the people I fed from. I didn't know that there was another way, until I ran into a little diner to get out of the rain. Alice had seen me obviously, and was waiting there. Gave me one hell of a shock when she knew my name, too." He chuckled, and I smiled. I could definitely see Alice doing that. "She explained that there was another way to live this life, and told me how we would be part of the Cullens. I've lived peacefully since." Jasper finished softly.

"That's incredible. It's crazy that you are still... you after all of that." I said in awe.

"It's not without great difficulty. I had been nearly feral for decades, that's why it's so hard for me to control myself now. I'm giving it my best effort though." He said with a small smile. The room went quiet, and I allowed Jasper's story to sink in.

"How is your thirst?" I asked quietly. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

"Getting better with time. I think being near you is actually helping me get used to your scent." He said his grin faltering. He looked away from me and pulled his arm to his side, forcing me to move my hand that was resting there.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked in a nervous whisper. He shook his head. The room went quiet again, but it wasn't a comfortable silence like before. I waited for Jasper to speak up, knowing there was something he wanted to say.

"Could I ask you a small favor Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ask me how my thirst is. I know my limits, and unless you are frightened please don't ask." He whispered.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

"No no, don't apologize. It's not your fault, you were just checking. I get it... I've just always been the weakest link, and I know it's a little ridiculous but I don't like it when people ask about my control. You didn't do anything wrong." He assured me.

"I didn't realize that this bothered you so much." I said, the words were out of my mouth before I had time to think them over. I cringed the second they left. I never meant to sound like I was accusing him of being bothered by something unjustified.

He very slowly set his hand on my shoulder, and I instantly felt calmer. My worries seemed to melt away. The feeling was incredible.

"Bella, don't ever be afraid to say what's on your mind. I won't be mad at you." He promised. I nodded slowly.

This was all so new, I had never been so open with him before. He was always on the outskirts of the family, never really saying much. I liked getting to know him better.

"My family was always worried about me. When at school Edward monitored my every thought and Alice my future. I was constantly babysat. It was infuriating, because it seemed like whatever I did, no one seemed to believe that I could control myself."

"Kind of like how Edward would watch me. Always making sure that I was safe, like I couldn't take care of myself." I whispered. Apparently today I was having a tough time keeping my thoughts to myself.

"Yes exactly." Jasper said with a small smile on his face. "It almost makes you doubt yourself-"

"Like you can't do anything unless they are there to protect you. You feel like you can't be independent - like you can't do anything for yourself. You feel like a burden." I interrupted.

"I didn't know we had so much in common." Jasper said with a halfhearted laugh. Jasper took a deep breath. "Doesn't it almost feel... good? Like you are proving them wrong, and you have freedom over your actions. If I wanted to go to a party, I could just go. I wouldn't have to be interrogated by everyone asking if they thought I could handle myself."

"Like you could do anything you want, even if it was completely reckless and stupid." I finished for him.

"Exactly." Jasper grinned.

"Well?" I asked.

It was time we did something with our new found freedom. I hadn't noticed just how free I actually felt, because of how sad I was over Edward leaving. I never noticed just how protective Edward was, but I didn't have to listen to him anymore. I could be reckless if I wanted.

"Well what?" Jasper asked in confusion.

"Let's go do something reckless and stupid!" I exclaimed.

"I really am a bad influence." Jasper chuckled. "Let's go."