I don't own twilight... I wish I did.
Warning, some characters may be OOC to fit my plot.
I hope you enjoy.
âââ The First Letter âââ
It had been two months since he had left me in those woods. I hadn't received anything from him, not even one phone call. I realize that he had outgrown me, but was I really that easy to forget?
I was sitting beside my window looking down into the street. I stared down at the spot were his Volvo usually parked. His words still fluttered around in my head. Haunting me. Making me long for something I could never have.
He told me how he didn't want me. I was no good for him. He was tired of pretending to be something he wasn't.
Bella, I don't want you to come with me.
You're not good for me, Bella.
It will be as if I never existed.
His words echoed in my mind. I could hear his voice with perfect clarity. I could recall every excruciating detail. Normally, I would have cried at the memory, but I didn't have tears left to shed. I had cried them all by now.
I knew that he didn't want me, so why did I want him so badly. I wanted anything from his world. Even just knowing for certain that I hadn't made them all up. Was it possible for my small mind to create such perfect beings, even in my own fantasies?
Charlie was beginning to worry. My depression and apathetic appearance was starting to become unhealthy, but I couldn't help it. The gaping whole were my heart used to be hurt constantly. I had no willpower to go on. I couldn't live without him.
"Bells?" Charlie called from the living room. I got up slowly and walked down the stairs to see what he needed from me.
He was sitting on the couch and watching some game. He was completely absorbed in it. He wouldn't take his eyes off the screen. That's what he did when he wanted to get his mind off of things that were bothering him. In this case it was me he was trying to find a distraction from.
"Would you mind grabbin' the mail from outside?" He asked, his focus remaining locked on the loud sports game.
"Sure." I mumbled.
I walked back up the stairs and pulled on a jacket, and some shoes. Alice definitely wouldn't be pleased with the ensemble, pajama pants, a stained T-shirt, a lime green hoodie, and sandals, but I didn't care enough to put on anything nice. It didn't matter what Alice thought anyway, because she wasn't here either. She abandoned me just like the rest of them. I thought she was my best friend. Was her love fake too?
Not one of the Cullens had contacted me. They left me with nothing, not even a note. They took everything they had ever given me, all of my birthday gifts, even that photo of me and him. They didn't even say goodbye. I thought they actually cared for me, but it had all been a facade.
How could I actually think that they cared for me? I was completely normal. I was clumsy, accident prone, bland, boring, average Bella Swan. I was no one special. It made sense for those perfect creatures to leave me behind. I understood now why they didn't turn me into one of them. It wasn't about my safety, they just didn't want to be stuck with me. I just don't understand why they had to trick me into thinking that they cared. At least Rosalie was straightforward. They all lied to me except for her.
James and Victoria were right, I was their pet.
I stumbled back down the stairs, and out the door. I instantly pulled my hood up as the rain pounded against me by the bucketful. I stained the bottoms of my pajama pants with mud as I trudged across our yard.
I flipped open the mailbox and dug out the stack of papers. I shoved them in my jacket pocket, so they wouldn't get soaked by the heavy rain, and shuffled back onto our porch. I slipped off my muddy shoes and went inside, taking out the stack of papers and flipping through them.
Bills.
Coupons.
A flier for some book club.
Junk..
I stared down at the last envelope. It was tinted a slight yellow color, and on the top my name was scrawled out neatly. The letter had a familiarness about it. It had a familiar musky smell lingering around it. It was familiar, but not very.
I ran my finger over the lettering of my name and address. The return address was somewhere in Mississippi. I could only think of one family that would write to me from such a strange place.
The Cullens.
They had written to me, but why now? Why after leaving me for months would they write me? What more did they want?
"Whatcha got there Bells?" Charlie asked, sauntering into the room.
"I don't know." I whispered. Charlie looked over my shoulder.
"Mississippi, strange." He muttered.
"I think it's from the Cullens." I said having a hard time believing it myself.
"What would he want with you? That damn boy left you Bella! He hasn't even returned your calls!-"
"It's not from him." I assured my dad. I knew his handwriting. I had it memorized. This wasn't written by him, but the question was who was it written by?
"Oh, who then?" Charlie voiced my previous thought.
"Don't know." I said as I continued to stare at it. I was afraid that if I looked away it would disappear just like they had.
"Well why don't you open it and see?"
I knew that he was just trying to protect me by being there when I opened it, but I didn't want to open it incase they had put something in it that would reveal their secret. I knew Charlie would question me, so I came up with an excuse.
"I don't know if I want to open it. I'm sort of mad at them." I whispered. It wasn't really a lie. Charlie nodded his head in understanding.
"I'm mad at them too, Bella." He sighed and kissed my forehead gently.
"I'm going to go upstairs." I whispered.
Charlie nodded his head and patted my back gently, "Love you."
"I love you too, dad." I said and walked up the stairs. I closed my door softly and sat down on my bed. I carefully ripped open the yellowed envelope, and took out its contents.
Dear Isabella Swan,
I'm sure that I am the last person you want to hear from. It is my fault that we had to leave, and I can't say sorry enough. I understand if you hate me. I would hate me too if put in the same situation.
I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry. It isn't fair that because of my lack of control that you are now suffering. Edward told us not to contact you. He wants a better life for you. He wants you to forget about us. I understand why, he's trying to protect you. We are too dangerous.
I am too dangerous.
Despite Edward's wishes I had to tell you that I am truly, truly sorry for everything I've caused. I will be staying here for a while longer, if you have anything you wish to say to me the address is written on the envelope. If I do not receive anything from you in a few weeks than I will assume you want nothing to do with me. I completely understand if that's the case.
Once again, I am very sorry about what my actions have brought upon you. I hope that someday you may forgive me.
Jasper Hale
I reread the letter again and again, as my mind wrapped around what Jasper had written. He claimed that Ed- ..he was just trying to protect me, but I couldn't believe that. Not after what was said when he left me. I also couldn't believe that Jasper was blaming this all on himself. Had he been lead to believe that he was at fault for them leaving? Surely he wouldn't have blamed him. We all knew that Jasper hadn't meant to attack me, and I didn't blame him for any of this. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I put the letter back into the envelope and set it on my desk.
I sat down and seized a pencil and paper. I needed to convince them to come back, but how? Maybe I could get them to come home if I could get Jasper to understand how badly I needed them all.
Dear Jasper,
I am so relieved that you sent me that letter. I do not blame you for any of this, I promise. What happened on my birthday was an accident, and I forgive you.
I miss you all so much. I hope you are all doing well. Life hasn't been the same since you left.
You said that Edward wanted to protect me, but I think you are mistaken. Edward doesn't want me.
But if what you said really is true, then please return here. I am miserable without you. You are like my family, and I miss you all so much.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Please come home.
Bella Swan
I knew that the letter was desperate, but so was I. I needed them to come back to me.
I needed them.