Betrayal

○●○ Betrayal ○●○

I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. That stupid song playing again and again in my mind. Jasper's soft ochre eyes burning brightly in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about tonight. I let out a groan of frustration, and tossed a pillow across the room. Why did I feel like this? What? A controlled vampire wasn't enough for me? Now I had to go after his brother, who had nearly killed me. Who could still kill me if he lost control for a slim moment.

Jasper couldn't kill you. My mind argued.

Or maybe it wasn't my mind arguing at all, maybe it was my heart. The classic battle between the heart and the mind.

The battle between Jasper and Edward.

A battle in which you hoped both sides would win, or not fight at all. Although, that would be unrealistic. Someone would win and someone would lose. Or maybe the result would be some sort of poetic justice where we all lost. Even the thought of the possible outcomes made my head spin. I couldn't bear losing him, but that's what would happen.

A knock snapped me out of my musings. I looked over to my window and saw Jasper perched on my windowsill. I wanted to demand him to leave, and at the same time welcome him in with open arms. Why couldn't things just be simple? No vampire brothers. No werewolves. No empaths, or psychics, or retirement homes. No motorcycles. No one except for Edward. Isn't that how it was supposed to be from the beginning?

Edward left you. He doesn't want you. My heart argued.

I sighed and pushed the logic from my brain for a moment and allowed my heart to take the wheel. I unlatched my window and pushed it open. Jasper was sitting in the darkness his alabaster skin almost glowing because of how pale his complexion was. I could vaguely make out a small grin on his face, and his hair was windblown. He must have ran here.

"Can I come in Bella?" He asked quietly. I nodded and stepped away from the window so he had room to come inside. I sat down on the edge of my bed and waited for him to speak first.

"Are you all right? You felt well- you felt... sick?"

I shook my head immediately, "No, I'm fine. I just had a headache."

"Oh, you feel okay now though?" He asked kindly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I promise."

"Good, good. I just... well I have something I need to talk to you about, about tonight. Okay?"

I nodded my head and my stomach turned. What could he possibly want to talk about? Had he felt my emotions about him?

"Bella. I-I felt.. something tonight. Well actually I've felt it for a while now." He whispered.

I looked at him and I felt sick. He was an empath, and he would have felt my emotions while we were dancing. He knew, and he was probably going to tell me that he thought I was disgusting. He was going to leave me just like Edward had. I almost started to cry right then and there.

"I felt something I haven't felt for a long time." He whispered.

The room went silent except for the quiet ticking of my clock. I couldn't take this anymore. I needed him to tell me. To just get this over with. I couldn't handle waiting for him to tell me he hated me.

"Please Jasper, just say it." I begged quietly. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"I-I felt hope."

"What?" I whispered. A huge sense of relief washed over me, but this just further confused me. I was shocked. What was he saying?

"Bella, you give me hope. I feel like I am.. human around you. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared that I will hurt you. You make me a better person. Y-You saved me Bella." He said in a hushed voice. His face serious, and his damn soft eyes burned into mine. There was silence once again as I absorbed this new information.

"Jasper.. I-I don't know what you want me to say to that. You're thinking of Alice." I said, my body was trembling. Jasper shook his head, and stared at me with an intense look.

"I know. I'm a despicable creature. I shouldn't put you in this position. I know you love Edward more than anyone, but please just give me a chance." He pleaded.

"This isn't right Jasper. You have Alice. You love Alice. It would never work between us. We can't ever be more than friends. W-We can't." I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. Tears welled up in my eyes and I kept shaking my head, trying to keep my thoughts straight.

"I-I.. I understand." He sighed. He looked away from me, his honey hair creating a curtain between us.

He took a deep breath next to me. We sat in silence, both enveloped in our emotions. I started to cry quietly. In the corner of my eye I saw Jasper raise his hand a fraction of an inch, like he wanted to comfort me. I hesitantly took his hand, and leaned into his shoulder letting my tears leak into his shirt. His cold arm wrapped around my waist, and his chin was gently set atop my head.

"Bella, please don't cry over me darlin'. I'm so sorry.. I'll leave if you want." He offered quietly.

"No! Don't leave me!" I begged. It was good that Charlie was out of the house, because otherwise he definently would have heard me.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, unless you ask. I promise I'll stay as long as you want me." He said brushing his fingers through my hair.

I stopped crying after what felt like hours, but Jasper kept me close. It was hard to think about just how far he'd come. From not being able to come near me, to holding me like this in a matter of a few short months. Did I really help him that much?

"Bella." Jasper whispered. His deep voice sent a shiver down my spine. I looked up at him and he looked back at me. His face was emotionless, as he wiped the tears from my face with his thumb. I sat completely still. I wasn't sure what to do.

Before my brain could process what was happening, Jasper had leant down and our lips met. His hard cold lips feeling so similar to Edward's, but so incredibly different. I couldn't describe the sensation if I tried. I found myself kissing him back. A warm feeling in the pit of my stomach was growing like wildfire, consuming every inch of my body.

The kiss started to intensify, his tongue flickered over my lip. Almost involuntarily I parted my lips, and allowed him to kiss me deeper. This amount of passion was almost a foriegn concept. Edward was always too careful to do anything like this. We were soon laying down on my bed, completely lost in this moment. He broke away letting me get some much needed air. I gasped and inhaled his incredible scent. His mouth trailed down my neck, all the way to my collar bones.

"I'm in control. I won't hurt you." He assured me quietly, his cool breath brushing against my neck. I couldn't respond. I still wasn't comprehending exactly what was happening. His mouth came back up to meet my lips.

"Jasper." I whispered, before he could continue. I didn't know what I was trying to say. Did I want him to stop? Did I want him to kiss me again?

"Please give me a chance." He pleaded quietly. I was conflicted, but it didn't last long, because before I knew it Jasper was back to kissing me. I didn't protest, even though I knew I should. Not only was he more passionate in the way he kissed, but in the way he held me. His hands slid under my shirt and he held my waist. His hands ran from my waist to my upper back and down to my thighs.

Jasper was making a quiet purring sound, that was oddly attractive. I put my hands in his silky hair, and tried to pull him closer. I was enjoying this far too much, and it almost made me feel sick with myself. I was betraying not only Edward, but Alice as well.

We only stopped when I had grown exhausted and out of breath. I was laying between his arms, my head pressed against his chest. I closed my eyes, and noticed how perfectly my body seemed to fit against his, like we were made to be like this. Maybe this could work.

No. It couldn't. It could never work. My head screamed.

"I love you Bella." Jasper said in the faintest of whispers.

"I-I.." I wanted to say it. I really did, but I couldn't do that. Not to Alice. "Jasper please. You're married. I can't." I whimpered.

"I'm not legally married. The name on the certificate is fake. I'm not a Hale, I'm a Whitlock. Jasper Whitlock isn't married." He argued, sounding like he was begging me to change my mind.

"That changes nothing." I sighed. I pushed myself away from him and sat with my back turned to him.

"I know, but we could change everything. Please Bella." He said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Jasper.. no. We can't. I love Edward." I said in a firm voice. I felt cruel when I heard Jasper inhale a shakey breath.

"Bella-"

"Stop. I don't love you Jasper. I love Edward.. Please just stop this."

"You're lying. I can feel it Bella, I feel your love. You love me." He said stubbornly.

"I love Edward!" I repeated, growing more frustrated. Jasper dropped his hand and stood up. A low guttural growl erupted behind me. Was he growling at me?

"Well he doesn't love you!" Jasper spat. "He left you! He loves the smell of your blood, that's for damn sure, but not you! It's lust Bella! Lust! Lust is all he has ever felt! He doesn't love you!" He yelled. I turned around not believing what I was hearing. He growled louder and paced the room like a caged panther.

"N-No. You said-" I gasped, and the tears returned to my eyes.

"I lied! I lied to make you feel better! I'm an empath! I know what I'm talking about, when I say your relationship is one sided!"

"Get out!" I yelled, my voice cracking. I flopped down on my bed and started to sob into the pillows. I hoped the smell of my tears would get rid of his scent that still lingered there.

Once I had calmed down some I sat up and looked around my empty room. Half of me was relieved that he was gone, and the other half was begging him to come back. I don't think I had ever felt so alone, not even since Edward had left me in those woods. I didn't know who to turn to now. I lost my best friend.