A Goodbye

○●○ A Goodbye ○●○

Alice parked down the street from my house. She got out of the car without speaking a word. I followed into a thick patch of forest. We walked for five minutes before stopping.

Jasper was sat upon a fallen tree. He was silently looking at his hands that were clasped in his lap. He looked up at me with a troubled expression.

I glanced up to see what Alice thought I should do, but she was gone. She had left without a sound.

"Your dad is grieving." Jasper whispered. He looked down at the forest floor. He was trying to start a conversation, but he didn't want to talk about what had just happened. I went along with it for the moment. He couldn't ignore this for long.

"Why would he be grieving?" I asked, confused.

He shrugged his shoulders. "We could check on him." Jasper suggested.

I shook my head, "I told him I'd be home later. We'll have to check on him in a while.  We can't avoid this conversation, Jasper. It's important."

"I know." He sighed. "...doesn't make things any easier."

Silence filled the air, almost suffocating us as tensions grew. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. I knew I'd have to be gentle as this was a sensitive matter.

"Jasper, why would you do that? Why would you give up everything... for me?" I asked in a soft whisper. I joined him on the fallen log, taking his hand in the process.

He sighed and stared blankly ahead of him. He didn't speak for a moment leaving the awkward silence between us.

"It's always Edward. It's always been him. Between him and me... well, I wouldn't have lasted much longer there anyway. I figured if I were already having my position stripped away, I might as well use it to protect you while I had the chance." He shrugged. He was rolling a small river stone over his knuckles and between his fingers again and again, avoiding looking up at me.

"Jasper they wouldn't just abandon you like that. Don't leave your family because of me. Go back to them." I begged him.

He chuckled sadly and shook his head, "I'm afraid you're wrong on many accounts, my love."

He sat up slightly. His eyes, dark with stress, met mine for a split second before darting back to the pebble in his freehand.

"I married into that family through Alice. I'm not part of them anymore... I never really was. They all saw me as a nomad vampire; wild and untrustworthy. It's time for me to be on my own again. I knew the day would come eventually."

"You're leaving me?" I asked, my voice was shaking with pure fear.

"Oh no!" He said immediately. He looked up and this time we locked gazes. "I'd never leave you! Not like that. I said that completely wrong. I just meant that I knew I'd eventually leave their coven." He scrambled to explain.

"Oh okay." I breathed in relief.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

I nodded my head and took a few more deep breaths. I knew I had been quick to assume he'd leave. I did trust him, but I trusted Edward too and he left without second thought. It was hardly fair to compare the two of them, but I couldn't help it. It would probably take me a while before I could willingly trust that everything good in life wouldn't just run off.

"Darlin' I think I need to leave for Texas soon... like now; today. I just," He sighed and tossed the stone in his hand into the forest. "I need to do this."

I was speechless. "Oh," Was all I could manage.

"You've still got my phone, right?" He asked.

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice.

"Good, I'll buy another phone tonight that I can call you from. I need to leave... I need to be alone; to think." He whispered.

"O-Okay. You won't be gone for long, will you?"

"At most two weeks, like I said. I promised you that I wouldn't leave you and I intend to keep that promise. If you need me call me, and I'll be on my way. If you have an emergency you can trust Rosalie. She might be a little rough on the outside, but I  would trust her with my life."

I still was fairly upset with this, but I felt a little better than a moment ago. "What about Alice?" I asked.

"Too close to Edward." Jasper explained.

I nodded my head even though I didn't completely understand his reasoning. He knew the Cullens better than I ever would.

We both were silent for a moment. The sounds of leaves rustling and birds chirping filled the space.

I looked over Jasper's appearance. There were lines between his furrowed eyebrows, and his eyes were dark with his inner turmoil.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "I can't really say that I'm okay. That'd just be a straight out lie."

I caressed the back of his knuckles with my thumb. Hopefully it would provide him with some comfort.

"My life is fallin' apart Bella." He sighed. "It's my fault, I know that, but I just... I wish I wasn't so," his voice trailed off. He sounded close to tears, tears he could never shed.

"So?" I prodded gently. I knew he needed to get this off his chest. If he kept it to himself for weeks he would end up torturing himself with his self loathing.

"I wish I wasn't so disappointing... I guess. I'm never able to just do what people expect. I always fail their expectations."

"Jasper I- it's your life. The only expectations that you should try to meet are your own." I told him, gripping his hand tighter. I hated how self deprecating he could be. How could he not see how incredible he was? How irreplaceable he was to me?

He smiled sadly, "I know. You're right." He mumbled.

I could feel the sorrow radiating off of him.

"That's not all that's bothering you." I inferred.

He sighed and shook his head.

"Why can't I have a family? A family that loves me unconditionally. A family that chose me. I've never had that. I thought that I had gotten close, but now..." He didn't continue his sentence.

He released my hand and cradled his head in his palms.

"I've never been enough." His tone devastated me. He sounded so boyish and vulnerable it almost physically hurt to hear.

"You are enough for me Jasper." I whispered. I wrapped my arms around him as he leaned into me.

"Thank you." He said in a whisper, voice cracking with emotion.

We sat in the woods like that for hours.

We both knew we had to say a temporary goodbye, but we couldn't seem to muster up enough strength to say the words.

The sun was setting when we finally let go of each other. There was a tender kiss and a known feeling of love between us. No words were spoken. None were needed.

Jasper leaned his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes blocking this moment into my memory. I knew I would be playing it over and over again for the next two weeks.

At this moment the future wasn't important. That would be tomorrow's problem. The only thing that mattered was us. Us standing here in the forest, completely entrapped in each other's love.

"I'll call you as soon as I can." Jasper whispered.

"Okay." I nodded.

He smiled slightly and nodded his head.

"I love you Isabella."

"I love you too Jasper."

"Two weeks." He reminded me.

"Thirteen days?" I asked a, small smile coming across my face.

He chuckled, "I'll do my best."

And then he was gone. I began my walk back to my house. Waiting for what would surely be the longest two weeks of my life to pass, and after that...

Who knows.

Sorry for taking so long to publish this part. It took me a few rewrites to finally get the plot feeling right. I wanted it to be good considering this is the end of part 1.

The next part will take place in the book Eclipse.

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