I breathed deeply as I basked in the sun shining down on my backyard. I was laying on a blanket spread on the ground. I had brought a book out here to read, but the weather was far too nice so I decided to just enjoy the afternoon.
"Bella," my love chuckled. I smiled at his voice, "what are you doing?"
I peaked out of one of my eyes to see Jasper's face. He was grinning from the shade of a tree. I sat up slowly, so I could see him better. He was holding a brown paper bag in one hand.
"Just relaxing." I answered his question.
He chuckled, "I can see that. Is Charlie around?"
I shook my head.
I watched as he carefully stepped into the sunlight; his skin shined like a thousand stars. He quietly joined me on the blanket.
He handed over the bag, "I brought you lunch. I remember you mentioning liking their turkey sandwiches."
I smiled at him, "Yeah, thanks."
I set it aside for now, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I stared at his shimmering face, I brought my hand up to his cheek. He closed his eyes as I carefully traced the scars on his fair skin.
A low pur sounded in the pit of his chest. I found it slightly odd the way he did that, but I couldn't say that I didn't like it. I could have spent hours listening to him, and memorizing the details of his face. I just wanted to be near him, it didn't matter how. I didn't need anything too significant, all I wanted was his time.
Time. My enemy.
As long as I was mortal I would have to face the fact that I could lose him. I could lose my everything. As the seconds ticked by I lost time I could never get back. I couldn't spend every second with him, that would be unreasonable, but every moment away from him was nearly torure. I would be just a small part of something eternal. I was damned to be only a small part of Jasper's life.
"Bella, darlin," Jasper interrupted my thoughts, "What's on your mind? You feel different."
I swallowed hard, "Everything is fine. I'm just thinking, is all."
"That's dangerous," he teased.
I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder softly.
He moved us so I was sitting on his lap, my legs looped around his waist. He tried a different approach, "There's something bothering you."
I nodded my head, the words caught in my throat, "I well... well, I- I just don't want to lose you."
His eyebrows furrowed, "You won't."
I sighed and shook my head trying not to tear up, "I'm mortal, Jasper."
His face relaxed slightly, "That's what's wrong? I promised I would change you, and I intend to keep that promise. I had just assumed you would want to spend some time with Charlie before that."
"Yeah, you're right. I just wasn't sure if you would be..." My voice trailed off as Jasper looked at me more intensly.
"Bella, I don't ever want you to feel like you can't ask me something. If you're worried about anything, anything at all, tell me. I'm yours. I will listen to you." Jasper said seriously.
"Okay," I whispered. I couldn't express how grateful I was, and I was glad he could feel it instead of having to put it to words. "Thanks Jasper."
He didn't respond, instead he kissed me softly. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed our closeness. I had been thinking about my mortality nonstop for days now, and I was relieved that I finally could have peace of mind.
"Love," Jasper whispered only an inch from my lips, "Can I ask you something?"
I leaned away from him. There was worry in his eyes now, "I'm yours." I said softly.
The corners of his mouth raised for a moment before falling back in place, "Does it have to be me who changes you? I just- well, I don't have the best history."
I wanted Jasper to turn me. I wanted to have a part of him with me at all times. I hadn't even considered what it might do to him.
"I'd like you to do it, but if you don't think you can we can figure something else out."
Jasper sighed, "I just don't want to hurt you. What if- what if I kill you?"
"You couldn't do that," I gripped his hand tightly. "I trust you."
He was quiet for a while; lost in his thoughts.
"When I was with Maria," Just hearing the name upset me, "I would sometimes turn new recruits. For every one I successfully changed, six others would die." I could feel Jasper's guilt coming off of him.
"That was a long time ago. You're a completely different person now." I tried to comfort him.
I couldn't help but wonder how many people he had killed. None of it had been his fault of course, but it was something he didn't talk about very often.
Jasper shrugged his shoulders and twiddled his thumbs.
"Jazz listen," I requested calmly. He looked up at me with anxious eyes, "Just think it over. If by the time I want to be changed you still don't think you can do it, we'll find another way. It's going to be okay."
Jasper just nodded his head, and hugged me tightly, "Thank you."
We were mostly quiet for the rest of the afternoon. Making light conversation and joking around. I didn't even realize the sun was about to set. It felt like Jasper had been here for only a few minutes, not hours.
He eventually had to leave, so I kissed him goodbye. I took my untouched food and went inside my house. Charlie would be home soon, and I hadn't even started dinner.
I threw together a lasagna and preheated the oven. I hadn't eaten all day, so I decided to eat half the sandwich Jasper had brought me while the food cooked.
I had figured that the sandwich wouldn't be in prime condition, considering it was hours old now, but I hadn't anticipated getting sick from it. As soon as the room temperature meat touched my tongue my stomach turned. I spit out the bite in the sink and gagged at the taste. I could feel myself on the verge of vomiting, so I rushed to my bathroom. I kneeled down and emptied my stomach into the toilet.
I wiped my mouth and sat there in shock for a moment. I wondered if I had caught some sort of stomach illness. I had never been so instantaneously sick from eating something though, even when I had been sick.
I shrugged it off, and went back into the kitchen. I threw the sandwich away without even daring to look at it. I checked the lasagna, which was fine, and went to go brush my teeth.
As soon as the toothbrush touched my tongue I had the same reaction. I became violently ill and just barely managed not to throw up again. There was definitely something wrong. A small question popped up in the back of my head, but... that just couldn't be possible. There was no way that could be what this was. No, I was just sick, yet the thought wouldn't leave.
I went to check the calendar in my room. My heart dropped instantly. I was a week late, and my cycle had always been like clockwork. This had never happened.
I ran a hand through my hair and tried not to panic. My heart was beating in my ears as I thought of what to do. I didn't know for sure. As far as I knew this was impossible. I was just overreacting.
The oven beeped and I went to remove the lasagna. I left it on the counter, knowing Charlie would be home soon. I scribbled out a quick note letting him know I would be back soon, and fled my house.
I was at the store within a few minutes. I picked out a pregnancy test and bought it. I wasn't even sure it would work. I didn't think this was possible, but I just had to make sure. My hands were shaking as I walked out.
I hid it in my wallet and went back home. My dad called a greeting to me from the living room, which I returned absently. I locked myself in the bathroom, used the test, and awaited the results.
I covered my mouth in shock. "Shit," I whispered.
Two lines.
I was pregnant.