I swear to Evil Overlord, we just wrapped this up.
Iâm staring across the table at one Orc, and one human, whose combined Monster Resource file is now a couple inches thick.
Smile: serene. Like I donât care that this means Iâm going to have to redo the report I just signed off on. Like being dragged back into this clusterfuck of a personal injury lawsuit potential isnât a drain on my time and resources.
âBefore I forget, you need to restart your computer when you get back to your desk,â Khent murmurs in an undertone to Janice.
The words are a little too softly toned for a work related conversation, but I let it slide because Iâm leafing through the folder, a quick review before I start this meeting.
Janiceâs chair creaks as she leans a little closer to him, like I hadnât purposefully put their chairs six feet apart when I first set up the meeting room.
âWhat do you mean? It was working just fine when I left it,â she whispers, not so quiet that I canât hear her.
âThereâs a system wide update that wonât go through until everyone has restarted their computer. I checked what was holding it up, and youâre the last to restart.â
âCan it wait a little? Iâve got a lot of tabs open right now and I need all of them for what Iâm currently working on,â Janice returns, something oddly teasing in her voice for what sheâs saying.
I glance up from the file, taking in the way theyâre angled towards each other, like Iâm not even here anymore.
âHow long is a while?â
Janice tilts her head, surveying him with narrowed eyes and a hint of a smile. âMaybe a few days? My computerâs running a little slow.â
Khent gives a little breath of a laugh. âItâs because you have too many tabs open.â
âThatâs too bad, because I need all of them. Besides, I think I remember restarting my computer last week.â
âYou havenât restarted your computer in three weeks,â Khent corrects her, voice dropping a little lower. âI did check your system uptime.â
It takes me a few beats to realize that this isnât just normal couples bickering. Is it possible for discussing IT issues to be some kind of foreplay for these two?
I reign in my glare at Janice and Khent, who are very obviously not looking at me. They reek of their newly reformed mating bond, and I decide to torture them for this later. Preferably when I have a sinus infection and I donât have to smell the honeymoon phase on them.
I clear my throat, and the two of them jump, apparently having forgotten why theyâre here.
Janiceâs attention snaps to me, tearing away from the googly eyed stare she and Khent are making at each other. This is why I wrote the no-mate-bonding-with-coworkers policy a dozen years ago.
âGwen!â she smiles back, looking a little uneasy. Possibly like she forgot I was here. Or because she can sense my immense displeasure.
I flip the manila folderâs top shut, but it doesnât close, because thereâs too much fucking paperwork in here. Iâm going to need to go to an office supplies store at some point to get more accordion folders, even if our office supply budget is overdrawn.
âShall we get started?â I ask, but in the single second I let my hold on their attention lapse, theyâre already making goo-goo eyes at one another.
I donât want to do this anymore.
I never wanted to be in Monster Resources in the first place, but there arenât many jobs where my abilities can actually be put to use, and get PTO.
Still. Maybe itâs time to put my notice in. Iâve worked here long enough.
After all, I could use something with better benefits.