Shortly after midnight, I once again found myself lost in thought. The main thing on my mind naturally was the promise Asamura-kun and I made on the day of the cultural festival⦠that weâd head out and go somewhere. Just the two of us. Ever since then, my mind had been filled with questions such as where to even go, how to invite him, and what there was for us to do.
The biggest problem of all was Asamura-kunâs attitude. The way he interacted with and around me filled me with anxiety that he may have forgotten about our promise, which is why I am agonizing about it in silence. It made me feel like I was the only one who was constantly thinking about it, that I was the only one who genuinely was looking forward to it, and this caused me to toss and turn in my bed over and over. Come on, Iâll end up missing precious sleep if this continues. So I keep telling myself, and yetâ¦
Itâs Monday already. Once I wake up, itâll be time for school. I pulled my blanket up over my head and forced my eyes shut. I need to sleep. Itâs time to sleep⦠I kept telling myself. I was still telling myself this when my phoneâs ringtone pierced through the silence.
âOh, come on nowâ¦â
I grabbed my phone to check whoâd bother me this late, which unsurprisingly turned out to be Maaya. I had a LINE message from her.
âWhat time do you think it is?â I grumbled to myself as I ran my eyes over her message.
âI canât sleep, help meee!â
You too? I sighed to myself and typed a response.
âSleep.â
âBut Iâve been thinking about it for hours on end now! I just watched a video and the guy in it said something so weird!â
âWhat did he say?â
âHe said âWeâve thoroughly confirmed everything!â, which in itself is fine, but think about it! When we are sure of something, we use 確 followed by the verb of compiling something with the kanji èªÂ to form the word âconfirmâ and the kanji 確èª. Itâs been like this forever. Yet the fall è½Â from a horse 馬 is what we put together in è½é¦¬. The kanji for the verbs are switched, and itâs driving me nuts!â
Who the hell cares about that?
âSo I was thinking; what if we changed that up? But the deeper I went down the rabbit hole, the more messed up my head became! It makes me want to stop using that phrase!â
That mattered even less than her previous dilemma.
âGo to bed.â
âNooo! Letâs think about this together!â
âWhy are you watching videos at this hour anyway?â
I asked her that in the heat of the moment, and Maaya immediately returned a lengthy message explaining the reason. Maaya would always send messages that are dense in content. Iâm always a bit surprised how quickly she can type them up. To sum up what she told me in a few words, she had watched the late-night anime she couldnât miss, which is why she was wide awake. In an attempt to get sleepy again, she started watching someoneâs livestream, which achieved the opposite effect.
My very first comment on that would be: Donât involve your friends in your own problems. Secondly, Iâm pretty sure there are streaming services that allow you to watch anime episodes on demand. Thereâs no actual reason to stay up late to watch them anymore. And Maaya herself had made that very argument not too long ago. So why did she have to watch the episodes in real-time?
âI do use streaming services like that, but it doesnât beat the feeling of watching them in real-time! The feeling of being connected to all sorts of people across the world as they watch the same anime episode as you are and feel the same emotions in that very moment is something you canât easily replicate!â
âYou have no way of knowing if theyâre feeling the same emotions, do you?â
âBla bla bla! Donât spoil my fun, Sakinosuke! I do most humbly have to admit I am unquestionably disappointed in you!â
Sakinosuke? Is that me? When did this turn into a historical drama?
ââ¦Ah, my fingers are all tired now. Iâm gettinâ cramps.â
How do you get cramps from texting?
âIf youâre still up, should we call instead?â
Again, donât drag me into the mess youâve created⦠Sheesh. I was really hoping to get some sleep, but I happened to coincidentally remember something Iâd been meaning to ask, so I agreed. The instant I sent her my response, the notification for the incoming call popped up on my phone. So fast. She probably had her finger on the call button.
âAloha, Saki~â
âDid you move to Hawaii?â
âIâm feeling lonely so I wanted to warm up my dampened mood with some good vibes.â
ââ¦Iâm gonna hang up.â
âAhhh, nooo! Pay attention to meee! â¦Oh, also.â
âWhat is it now?â
I was surprised by Maayaâs sudden change of tone.
âSaki, thereâs something you wanna ask me, right?â
ââ¦Huh? No, not at all.â
âReallyyy? You usually go through life at your own pace, so normally you wouldnât agree to a phone call this late, right?â
âAck.â
âAnd I figured you said âyesâ because you need my advice on something, no?â
âSeriously⦠sometimes youâre way too sharp for your own good.â I sighed in defeat.
I was thinking of guiding the conversation in a direction thatâd allow me to ask it naturally, but my good friend seems immune to such techniques.
âI knew it.â
âWell, you know⦠Letâs take a hypothetical scenario where youâre going out somewhere with a random boy.â
âGoing where?â
âUm, the place doesnât matter much. You just want to go anywhere with this boy.â
âOkay, I got it.â
âHow would you invite him in a natural way?â
âAre you going out somewhere with Asamura-kun?â
Wha?!
âI-I never once mentioned Asamura-kunâs name, right?â
âSaki, you wouldnât care about some random person, right? If it werenât somebody close to you, youâd act like the worldâs greatest sniper and keep your distance from everyone with a cold attitude like the second ice age befell all of humanity.â
ââ¦Is that how you see me, Maaya?â
âI mean, Asamura-kun would be about the only person whoâd make you worry and concerned about inviting someone out.â
Thatâs notâ¦
âShinjouâs attacks have simmered down as of late, so itâs gotta be Asamura-kun.â
âMaaya. Before you get any weird ideas, even if we assume that this boy is Asamura-kun, the reason weâre heading out together is definitely not whatever youâre thinking.â
âOh really now?â
I donât think Iâve ever heard such a distrustful comment from anyone in my entire life. I subconsciously gripped my phone harder than before. Maaya continued talking with a dubious tone of voice.
âThe excuse is crucial here. If you donât have a genuine-sounding reason to invite him, it would make it sound like you have an ulterior motive, and itâll cause them to be more cautious.â
âI donât have any ulterior motives.â
âHmmmmâ¦â
âAgain, thatâs notââ
âThen thatâs even more of a reason to come up with a good excuse. You donât want him to reject you, right?â
âWell⦠Iâ¦â
I hadnât even considered that possibility. But sheâs right. Why did I never even consider that? Maybe Asamura-kun doesnât actually want to head out somewhere with me. He never brought up our promise again after that day, after all. What should I do if he actually says no?
âJust for exampleâ¦â¦ Hey, are you listening?â
âAh, yeah, of course.â
âTwo days from now, your friend named Narasaka Maaya will be celebrating her birthday.â
âAh, congrats.â
âSo flippant! And too early!â
âShould I have told you on the actual day instead?â
âI donât mind. Anyway, you could use this as an excuse to invite him. Say that you want to buy a present for Narasaka Maayaâs birthday party, you know?â
âYouâre planning on having a birthday party?â
âNot at all. Or more accurately, I didnât⦠I was thinking that maybe I could hold one so that you have an excuse.â
âIsnât that too much effort on your end?â
âNot at all. After all, itâd only be you and Asamura-kun whoâd come.â
Can you actually call it a birthday party then? How is that any different from just visiting her place like weâd sometimes do anyway?
âThatâs what makes it great. You donât have to be nervous, and neither does he. And youâve got the perfect excuse to invite him!â
I see. Heâs been to Maayaâs place before, and if itâs under the pretense of Maayaâs birthday party, Asamura-kun surely wouldnât be as hesitant.
âBut are you sure?â
âAbout what?â
Unlike me, Maayaâs popular at school. If she said she was holding a birthday party, sheâd gather participants not only from our class but across the whole school. I wouldnât be surprised if she held a party every year, to be honest. So when I asked her about that, she explained that with the sheer number of possible attendees, she wouldnât even be able to fit all of them under the same roof, thus forcing her to reject people who want to attend. To her personally, sheâd rather not hold a party at all than hurt people that way. Seriously, how perfect can she be? She cares about everybody equally.
âBut this time around, my only goal is to support the blooming love between you and Asamura-kun, so this much should be fine~â
âAgain, itâs not what you think.â
âAnyway, Iâll be sending Asamura-kun an invitation after this. Also, keep it a secret that Iâm only inviting you two. Itâll be a surprise for him, tee hee.â
I heard her giggle from across the phone when I checked the time. It was already past 2 am, and my shoulder poking out from beneath my blanket was starting to feel a bit chilly.
âOh man, itâs already this late⦠What if Iâm late tomorrowâ¦â
âI can recover fully with a minimum of three hours of sleep!â
âAre you fit enough after that?â
âAre you worried about lil olâ me? Iâm fine. Iâm still sleeping a total of six hours.â
When do you get those six hours, exactly?
âIâm not too fond of that⦠Iâd like to get up before Asamura-kun to tidy myself up.â
âLooking perfect 24/7 isnât going to earn you any bonus points. Show an opening here and there, and Iâll bet heâll find it cute. Adorable, even.â
âThatâs notâ¦â
Back during the cultural festival, I realized that Iâm not very skilled at showing cuteness like that.
âWell, I get what you mean, butâ¦â
âOhhh! Are you finally being honest with me, Sakippe?â
Again, whoâs that?
âBoys secretly like that kind of stuff, or so Iâve been told.â
âOh, oh, oh! News flash! Whoâd you hear that from? Oh, right. Then you should take a detour to go home to change before you come to the party.â
âEven though itâs just us three?â
âSurprise is the best spice, after all! And thatâll allow you to go on a date two days in a row, right?â
Itâs just a random birthday party, thereâs no reason to go all the way, geez.
ââ¦Iâm heading off.â
âOkaaay. Nighty-night!â
We said good night to each other and ended the call. Itâs all teasing and teasing when Iâm dealing with Maaya, geez. But⦠show some openings, huh? Is that necessary so that heâd call me cute? No, thereâs no way. Think about it, Ayase Saki. You shouldnât put that much faith in Maayaâs words. Purposefully showing sleaziness will only backfire. I think.
I pulled my blanket up over my head once more, forcing my eyes shutâYeah, thereâs no way.
To the surprise of no one, I overslept the following morning. Worst of all was that I ran into Asamura-kun on the way to the bathroom⦠while still wearing my pajamas. God, that was so embarrassing. When I looked in the mirror, I had crazy bed hair everywhere. I felt like I would die from embarrassment. How could I create such an opening myself?
As for Maayaâs birthday party, Asamura-kun brought it up himself during breakfast. He asked what we should do about it. All the words I had come up with ahead of time were reduced to atoms. My heart was beating so hard that I was worried he might hear it from across the table. I focused really hard on keeping composure and responded.
âI was thinking of celebrating it with her. What about you?â I returned a question.
I had planned to nonchalantly bring up the talk of buying a present, but Asamura-kun got the jump on me. I was terrified. I genuinely thought he could read my mind. He then commented that this was his first time giving a girl a present. I see. So heâd never had someone like that before⦠Wait, why do I feel relieved to hear that? Well, Momâs the only person whoâs ever got presents from me, so Iâm not one to talk. I steeled my resolve and brought up the question Iâd been meaning to ask.
âWould you like to go buy presents together?â
I think my voice was shaking when I asked that. At first, Asamura-kun responded with a blunt âBut,â which made my chest tighten up to the point it hurt. However, he didnât say no. Instead, he seemed to be worried that people from school would spot us if we went shopping somewhere near here. I felt the same. After thinking about it for a brief moment, Asamura-kun proposed that we could go somewhere a bit further away to enjoy our shopping trip. I replied with a faint nod.
âDo you remember what we talked about during the cultural festival?â I carefully asked.
Asamura-kun is a kind person, he might just be on board with this in order to buy a present for a friend of mine. But he responded withâ
âOf course.â
Iâm so happy. Iâm glad I went ahead and confirmed it thoroughly.
Iâm still working part-time at that bookstore. Lately, Iâve been on the same shifts as Asamura-kun. Today, there are three of us. Yomiuri-senpai and I were tasked with manning the cash registers, whereas Asamura-kun went to make room for the new incoming magazines. As the line in front of my register decreased in length, I found myself glancing over towards Asamura-kun. Yomiuri-senpai naturally called me out on that and started to tease me, saying that I must be interested in âJunior-kunâ after all. I vehemently denied her accusation, saying that it was just happenstance.
âReally now?â
Yet again, another person who has close to zero faith in what I tell her. Since barely any people were there wanting to buy something, and since we were fairly bored as a result, she probably decided to strike up a conversation.
âHalloweenâs pretty close, isnât it?â
âItâs on the 31st, right?â
âYep, at the end of October. Because Halloween is the small festival before the big eventâAll Saints Day.â
âAll Saintsâ¦what?â
âAll Saints Day, which is November 1st. Itâs the day you pray for all the saints in the world. The day reserved for all the fools is April 1st.â
âApril Foolsâ Day, you mean?â
âExactement. For all the April fools. But, we donât call November 1st November Saintsâ Day, right? Or do we? Do you know anything about that?â
âNo, sadly not.â
âAnyway, Halloweenâs a big thing here in Shibuya.â
The topic was tumbling and rolling all over the field, but this was nothing new when talking to Yomiuri-senpai. Iâve finally gotten used to following her strange trains of thought. Her thought process is terrifyingly fast, as a matter of fact. Well, sheâs always bumping heads with Assistant Professor Kudou, so Iâm not surprised at that. I thought back to the day I attended her universityâs open campus event and I found myself feeling slightly disheartened.
âHalloweenâs the event that turns Shibuya into the city that never sleeps.â
âYouâre not wrong. Itâs been feeling a lot like the Holy Land with all the costumes as of late.â
Especially the city center of Shibuya, which always gathered enough costumed people walking on the streets to warrant a broadcast about it. The crowd is always so dense that youâd always be bumping into someone.
âThe crowd is honestly nauseating. I definitely want to avoid the city center during that time.â
âSaki-chan, there is a reason why we poor human beings have to force our way through the city center despite all that.â
âWait, really?â
âBecause we have work.â
Ah. I remember now. Both Asamura-kun and I have shifts on the 31st. I guess Yomiuri-senpaiâs another victim like us.
âHow about we at least have some fun and wear costumes during our shift?â She asked.
Despite being at work still, I shook my head as fiercely as I could. How preposterous.
âIâm sure youâd look cute dressing up as a witch with a triangular hat, you know?â
âCuteâ¦?â
âAh, bulls-eye?â
âNot at all,â I tried to act calm, but my words had no strength to them whatsoever.
Yomiuri-senpai once again used this opportunity to tease me, saying âI knew you were thinking about Junior-kun,â which made the blood rush to my head. As if that wasnât bad enough, Asamura-kun returned from his work at the bookshelves.
âIâll take over for the maintenance,â I blurted out and ran away from the cash register.
â¦He didnât think that was weird of me, right?
Later, we made our way home. The air was cold, which made it feel like winter had arrived. I rubbed my hands together to keep them warm. Asamura-kun was walking next to me, pushing his bike along. Moments like these truly show how my lack of humanity. I canât even come up with any topic to talk about. I failed to brew up a conversation heâd enjoy partaking in. Instead, I just searched for a way to make him think I wasnât completely lost. The best I could do was blow warm breath on my shivering hands.
He praised me, saying that my clothes looked good on me⦠Heâs probably trying to not make me feel bad, right? I shoved my hands into my pockets, gripping them tightly. I finally managed to force the words out of my throat.
âIâm looking forward to going shopping tomorrow.â
Iâm going to cry for real. Why am I like this? And yet, Asamura-kunâ
âMe too.â
âResponded with that. I felt embarrassed, thinking I was the only one who was excited, but he immediately agreed. I glanced at his profile while he walked next to me, filling me with joy. I slightly opened and closed my hands inside my pockets. Finding a conversation topic that works both ways is so difficult. Instead, we just ended up walking our way home in silence. But I guess this isnât so bad, either.
When we opened the door to our apartment and distanced ourselves from each other, I was hit with a wave of regret.
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